JohnOnTheWey

The very idea makes me giggle. JOTW

Horrific case from a few years ago - worst I've heard of: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/154575.stm JOTW

Couldn't agree more. I think it's the anticipation aspect of steering a boat that has made me a better car driver. When tootling down a canal or river, I find myself trying to imagine how I'm going to negotiate that piece of water, make this manœuvre or avoid those idiots over there. When this type of driving is applied to road traffic the benefits are self evident as far as I can see. Car drivers making better boat steerers? - can't see the logic really. JOTW

PM me Dan.

Me too. Sad aren't we hey Snibble? JOTW

Who mentioned going in reverse? JOTW

.... don't have the Cornish pastie. JOTW ps.Jill Wrigglefingers mentioned the banter possibilities down her neck of the woods. Sounded good, but would enough people be prepared to travel?

My boat is a '92 Mike Heywood (not certain who fitted it out, but I seem to remember Bones quite liked it - it's kinda dark for my taste, but that will be changed when I can stand it no longer). Steel is 10:6:4 and still in very good nick. The standard of welding is exceptional on the bits you can see, although take note of what the surveyor says about what lies beneath. Nothing exceptionally tragic down there, just not as classy as the visible bits. JOTW ps. The signage still reads "Tomorrow" "Hoo Mill" which I liked and saw no reason to change.

Bit of a problem this, since trying to work out who has the best coverage is akin to trying to knit fog. Masts pop up all over the place and providers' coverage changes constantly. My own experience is only with Vodafone and T-mobile in the South of England - T-mobile wins by a mile today, but who knows what the situation will be next week/month/year? JOTW

... and we all know what the internet's for, don't we? JOTW

Brilliant post Cugsey; seriously brought tears to my eyes! I think you've just encapsulated why I do what I do. JOTW ps. and Malc of course; can't forget Malc.

Great to see you GSP, as I said! These banters are great fun, and I know it's tricky for some folk to turn up for them, but I don't mind picking people up from, well, just about anywhere. I'd go West if required, and I'd hope everyone else would do as well. John I meant BSP, of course.

Ah yes ... "the Device". Well, sea trials had to be postponed as a result of the lousy summer but I can tell you the proposed design has certainly gained popular approval in all the right areas. It certainly floats on paper, as it were!See you Saturday?JOTW

Maffi and I will be arriving late afternoon by car also (as long as the Maffmeister doesn't bottle out (sorry Bottle)) and also as long as Samantha the SatNav does her wicked stuff. Let me know as soon as you can Maffi. Also, do your best to get me a bunk somewhere - don't fancy driving home at the rough end of a banter. JOTW

What a fantastic simile! Wish I'd said that. JOTW ps I will say that one day, I assure you.

Web'n'Walk is mobile internet on the phone. I spoke with T-mobile and asked them how much it would cost me to use the mobile phone as a modem for my laptop. "4 quid", they said. Done deal. Here's how it works out: I have a standard £25 deal with T-mobile (for which I get an allowance of £60 to spend however I wish on calls and texts - none of this "45 minutes of calls and 18,000 texts per month" that some other networks foist on you). The Web'n'Walk element is an extra £7.50 per month, and the "unlimited" use of the phone as a modem, as I said, costs me £4.00. So, that's £36.50 per month for more calls and texts than I need, and fast-ish internet access (at about 130KB/sec). As far as network reception goes - I use the mobile as a modem inside the boat with no external aerial and have no problems. Maybe I'm lucky because of the area I'm in, but I have to say that Vodafone (for one) was completely useless. I have no experience of "3" (and you think T-mobile and Web'n'Walk are cheesy? ) JOTW

Nothing wrong with your surname! I regularly see gigantic cement tankers with that very name emblazoned along their flanks. Any relation? JOTW ps. My name is John, I used to moor on the Wey. I now don't, but I have about a couple of dozen internet accounts in that name and can't be bottomed changing 'em.

I was at the helm going down a lock (on the Staffs & Worcs, I think) and my crew of 5 were ashore nattering to each other. I stupidly kept too close to the uphill gates and the back end of the boat caught on the cill. Recovery from said situation? - I screamed at the crew to "shut the f$@&ing paddles!" and they managed to do so; another 30 seconds or so and I reckon I would have had to jump. (Things happen quickly in this kind of situation, and I guess we lost half the crockery and glassware on the boat) The others opened the top paddles a little and things returned to horizontal once more. We exited the lock. tied up close by and went to the nearest pub where I proceeded to get rat-faced, even though my hands were trembling so much I must have spilled most of the first few pints. I kid you not, even just writing this account has me shuddering. OK; that's it - I'm off down the pub. JOTW

I don't buy the rag this report comes from, but I clocked this story in the local pub's copy:- http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/article2253597.ece Sent shivers down my spine. As I said, this very nearly happened to me years ago and there are occasions when I recall the incident and I can feel the sweat on my brow. JOTW ps. can't quite understand why the boat was a write-off. Think I'll write to the Times and ask if they made that bit up.

Well that's a real shame. The "alternative" site will end up the same, you know, and then you'll end up bingin' and bongin' between the two of 'em and you'll never get anything useful out of either. Stay here, and develop a tougher skin. JOTW