Weeezz of the week

[bizzard]

How to create a decoy when your expected to be working by your other half. If a loner ignore this tip.

Having been nagged and then detailed to do a job by your partner,DIY or whatever necessitating the use of tools,powered or otherwise,but don't really fancy it or your feeling a bit tired like.Well, simply record on a portable recording device,''on the quiet of course'' loads of different ''working noises'' so that you have sets of appropriate noises for all the different jobs your supposed to be tackling,''Sawing,banging,drilling,thuds,power tool sounds ect.Human ''Injured or hurt''noises are best recorded as a voice over by you,after all if your in your shed, engine room or working somewhere ''OUT OF SIGHT of course'' of the said nagger, relaxing with feet up swigging a Scotch making an effort to go Ow! with a few curses thrown in now and then is not asking much.

So you can now when ordered to go and fix something, happily slink off with your recorded working noises and when out of sight turn on the noises with plenty of volume and relax.

But what ever you do remain ALERT!don't go and nod off whilst its playing as a cup of tea could turn up at anytime,in fact its safer to lay down the exact time that tea's brought to you,so that you can hide the bottle, turn off the noises and pose with the appropriate tool in hand.Oooh!and don't forget, and go and join your partner and leave the noises playing,as that big fopar would probably spell big big trouble,and you'd never be allowed to go to and not to work unaccompanied in the future. Disastrous. Bizzard.

[luctor et emergo]

Alternatively, make it clear from the start of the relationship, that such things will not be occuring anyway....

 

DIY?

[Chalky]

Friend of mine pulled a masterpiece that meant that he doesn't get asked to do DIY anymore. He was asked to paint the lounge ceiling which he did. Half way through he ran out of paint, so started on a new tin. When it had dried his wife noticed that one half was silk, the other matt.

[Liam]

DIY?

 

Destroy It Yourself.

[Ssscrudddy]

Alternatively, make it clear from the start of the relationship, that such things will not be occuring anyway....

 

DIY?

Yes, when she tells you to do a certain job, tell her "Do It Yourself" sorted... you'll happily make her a cup of tea while she's doing it!

[bizzard]

Yes, when she tells you to do a certain job, tell her "Do It Yourself" sorted... you'll happily make her a cup of tea while she's doing it!

And discover her,feet up playing a working noise recording.