Derri

Perhaps we'd better leave 'em on the boat. They have a tendency to tease dogs. And cats. And swans.

This is their tipple of choice http://www.hall-woodhouse.co.uk/beers/badg...urstyferret.asp

We've only lived on a boat for a year and I'm going to sound like a right nodder now, but what exactly is a banter? If it's just a bit of a knees up, I reckon we can make it there. Can I bring my ferrets (they get bored left at home)?

Another live aboard vote for a composting loo here - we have a nature's head. It is one of the ones that seperates (without being too indelicate) solids and liquids. After it being fine for months as we fitted out, it began to collect to much liquid in the solid bit. After pondering several incredibly complex engineering solutions, I finally realised the weight distribution in the boat had shifted and it was leaning ever so slightly back! A bit of wood wedged under the back has fixed it a treat

I applied at the start of December. Late January, I had an answer phone message asking me to call back about my gold licence. I called back. They didn't know why it hadn't been done, or why they had called. I called again 2 weeks later. They still didn't know. I called again 2 weeks later, they STILL didn't know. After a few more weeks of this, my application came back in the post, saying my Gold licence would be about 60 quid more than their fees chart (or my renewal notice) says because my mooring is on the Thames. By the way, the returned application mentioned two different fees which were now applicable (with no explanation of how they were calculated) In disgust I politely requested they stick it and got a Thames EA licence instead for £100-odd less. It took five days to arrive

If your boat doesn't have a weed hatch, your ropes don't float and the prop is six feet under the boat in any direction, don't drop ropes in the water. In fact, only get a boat with a weed hatch.

We sent ours off early-ish December and we're still waiting. I had an answerphone message asking me to call BW, but when I did they didn't know why they had called me! They said they'd call again when they worked out what the original call was for. That was a week ago...

The quoted amount for my boat size for 2009 on Waterscape was 694 - the woman on the phone said it would be 714 because I'm on the Thames!! Apparently all the renewal notices were wrong and ours went astray anyway. But I'm just going to pop my form, paperwork and cheque for 694 in the post and wait for some official explanation of why I have to pay more for my licence, as well as the extortionate amount I pay for a Thames mooring (a stone's thow from several BW waterways). Should be interesting.

I had a gold licence at the standard cost on the Thames last year as well! That's why I'm so cross!!!

I've just tried to renew my gold licence, but BW are saying it'll be about 20 quid more because I'm moored on the Thames Shall I just tell them I'm a continuous cruiser (one with a mooring...)? Bah.

We fitted out a very old boat from scratch and put down wood veneer boards from Ikea throughout. Don't do this - there are too many places on an old boat like ours that you just can't stop a bit of water getting to! It looks rotten now and I expect we'll be replacing it with something more waterproof within the next year! (

Hello, I'm desperate to put a stove in my 39ft Broads cruiser that will heat the hot water in the calorifier (probably a Boatman). The problem is, I've not actually been able to have a look at a stove with a backboiler and I'm not sure how high off the ground all the pipe outlets will be! The calorifier is about 6 metres away from where I want the stove, under the bed and it is about a metre tall. Reading the other threads on this, I understand the pipes have to incline gently up and down to the calorifier and back to the boiler. The question is, will this be possible with the calorifier of the short, squat variety? My boyfriend reckons it's impossible; I don't really understand the plumbing ins and outs, but I'm sure it IS possible, we're just missing something! Any ideas?

Tenner an hour and they get to keep their rat.

Borrow my ferrets - no rats on my boat.

I have two boat ferrets - they can get to the places a cat/terrier just can't reach! No rodents on our boat.

My main problem with them is the price. Just ordered six windows for my boat. £2000...SINGLE glazed. That was our cheapest quote.

We did this back in March in our 1970s GRP Broads Cruiser. We had to in order to get it from where we bought it in Stourport to our mooring in London (it's a widebeam). We got lucky on the first bit - the channel was like a mirror - not a ripple! On the second bit (Portishead-Avonmouth) it was very, very choppy. Don't expect the marina to stop you going out - it's your decision! We had no pilot for this bit and the boat was rolling all over the place - the signal place in Avonmouth must have been laughing their heads off watching us come in. I wouldn't want to do that in a narrowboat, though! I guess you'd be forced to pay up and stay in the marina, or wait a long time in the pool (we would do this if we did it again - save a bit of money and it would be exciting!) Our boat was stripped out awaiting renovation so there wasn't much to go rolling around, but you might want to clear the kitchen side and tie the cupboard doors closed, just in case! Our pilot was perfectly prepared to take us at night if we had lights, by the way. He was really nice and easygoing - very helpful when you call them for advice too. Once you get to the Avon, it's beautiful - all these little deserted sandy coves with colourful sailboats on the sand and little rare-looking birds scuttling in the mud. It's a rare trip to make in an inland boat. We messed up our timing calling the lock at Bristol and ended up clinging to a wall waiting for the boats to come out! Double check this as it was a bit embarrassing (but we were total beginners at the time and they were very understanding)! Good luck - it's an amazing journey.

Eh? A Wicker man? Now I'm very confused.

I live on the Thames. In South London. I'm not sure we have a local woodsman...

I want to build a coracle. Anyone know where I can get some really long, thin, bendy lathes of wood? Champion Timber seemed baffled.

I used to live there until I was 18 and when we drove into town we used to leave the car by the racecourse. Drive past all the pay carparks on the other side to Diglis and keep going towards the racecourse restaurant. Sometimes there's parking on the road (no lines or restrictions or anything), but if not you can drive down onto a rutted track and park there for free! Mind you, not sure how safe it would be for a week. Especially if it flooded...

When all the stoppages opened up at the start of April (so I assume repairs had just been done!) we took our boat on its maiden voyage from Stourport, down the Severn, across the Bristol Channel, down the K&A and to the Thames. This covers quite a bit of water and the only place we had problems with canal gear in disrepair was the east K&A. One day we got stuck in a lock with a broken panel (in the end, after the BW man came out, on his advice and with the help of other waiting crews we had to force the gate for each waiting boat!). Later the same day, a swing bridge retained our key, so we had to wait several hours. Another day, there was another bridge problem (I forget exactly what now) and quite a lot of locks with a paddle out of action and a yellow BW sign on it. It was an adventure at the time, but I reckon that end of the canal is in a bit of a state!

We're getting to the point in our Broads cruiser fitout where new windows are moving towards the top of the list. The old ones are aluminium framed, all broken, very corroded and leaky, so we definitely don't want to get them refurbed. Also, they open inwards, which I find tremendously irritating. There's three down each sides; smallest are about 180cm long, longest are about 240cm. We want to replace them with all sliding windows. There's also a couple of hideously scratched slide-down perspex windows on the front, which need replacing as you can only drive with them open, they're so manky! I'm currently at a loss over what to do with these! I'm totally open minded about frame material (we've considered building our own from hardwood). Also, as the boat is GRP, I'm quite tempted to cut bigger holes and replace the awkward parallelogram shapes for regular rectangles - then maybe we won't need expensive bespoke ones! Does anyone have any recommendations for window builders with competative prices. I feel a bit queasy when I think about how much it's going to cost!! Ta Derri

Whoops! Always forget which way the river goes once I'm away from me boat

Sorry - think that's my typo. I've been using it a few days now - it really seems to be a dead good cooker for the money.