Single handed!

[mareco]

Hello everyone. I've had such a nice time reading all of your great posts on here and finding out lots of useful information, so thanks for that!

 

My situation, like many others that I've read on here, is that I still have to summon the nerve to Just Do It. I have a fair bit of boating experience, canoeing, yacht trips hugging the coast or across the channel, plus a couple of great nb holidays with hubby and kids years ago. I wouldn't say though that I have very much single-handed experience - apart from the canoeing of course, which just involves pointing in the right direction and paddling!! In the past it has most often been handling a boat with someone next to me giving instructions. (I'm good at following instructions, such as "get out of the b****y way Mary!). However I'm quite handy and very practical so this side of things does not fill me with dread. Everyone is a beginner at the beginning, aren't they!

 

My house is almost sold so I'm almost ready for "JDI". I live in Devon so there aren't many navigable canals down this way - apart from Tivvy which is really more like a long narrow boating lake! Yes, so I know I will have to change location. I know Kennet & Avon stretch so that's probably where I'll head for initially. As I don't have any friends on narrowboats who I could dump myself on for a few days I'm going to have a nb holiday in the summer to experience the single-handed bit.

 

My question is .... how would a liveaboard life be, realistically, for a single not-so-young (in chronological terms only) lady. I'm not worried about getting cold, wet, dirty etc and as I said I'm very practical.

 

Are there any other single ladies here, who could give me some 1st hand advice? Would it be JDI?

 

Thanks

 

Mary

[Bones]

My question is .... how would a liveaboard life be, realistically, for a single not-so-young (in chronological terms only) lady. I'm not worried about getting cold, wet, dirty etc and as I said I'm very practical.

 

Thanks

 

Mary

 

It should be just the same as for anyone. Check out Carries blog on the forum she seems to do quite well!

[mareco]

Thanks for that BONES. Excellent

[DHutch]

Have a good read around the forum too.

- There are a lot of threads on how feasable living aboard and single handing and the like.

 

 

Daniel

[Chris J W]

Hi, Mary,

 

Going to be doing the Single Handed bit myself, too, when I finally a) get my money from work and buy the boat!

 

I'm definitely in the "JFDI" camp, and as 'scary' as it is I'm so looking forward to it and the challenges it's going to bring. It's got to be better than working for a living for a while.

 

I think we'll have to arrange a "Single Handed Only" boaters banter one day!

 

Chris

[Barry]

Ha - took me while to suss what JDI is

 

Actually it wasn't till Chris added the F that it leapt out at me - hmmm need to think about that

 

Brain's running around in treacle this morning

 

I'll watch your progress with interest - you are further on in the getting afloat process than I - keep us up to date

 

The singles only banter - woo hoo - would we have to have a chaperone - tee hee

[Chris J W]

The singles only banter - woo hoo - would we have to have a chaperone - tee hee

 

And where would be the fun in that!

 

[Carrie]

I don't get it!!!!! What DOES it stand for? Doh. Too much easter egg, not enough brain food.

[anhar]

I don't get it!!!!! What DOES it stand for? Doh. Too much easter egg, not enough brain food.

Just Fucking Do It

 

The less aggressive version is of course Just Do It, without the gratuitous Fucking.

 

regards

Steve

Edited April 8, 2007 by anhar

[Jo]

Hi mareco.

 

May I wish you every success with your new venture.

 

You say "I'm going to have a nb holiday in the summer to experience the single-handed bit"

Very wise decision, you will then know whether you are going to love or hate it. You will also know whether you will be able to cope alone. Which part of the country are you starting out from?

My question is .... how would a liveaboard life be, realistically, for a single not-so-young (in chronological terms only) lady. I'm not worried about getting cold, wet, dirty etc and as I said I'm very practical.

 

There are many women of all ages living aboard on their own and doing it very happily. We have a friend who has her own live aboard boat and loves every minute of it. If she has any problems there is usually a nice young man only to happy to help her out. Whilst out on your summer trip you may get to see other lone crusiers and it will give you a chance to chat to them. You sound like you know what you are letting yourself in for, and if you decide to go ahead with the move, we will look forward to seeing you.

Have a lovely holiday.

[Chris J W]

Just Fucking Do It

 

The less aggressive version is of course Just Do It without the gratuitous Fucking.

 

regards

Steve

 

I was going to say it stands for "Flipping"

[Carrie]

There are many women of all ages living aboard on their own and doing it very happily. We have a friend who has her own live aboard boat and loves every minute of it. If she has any problems there is usually a nice young man only to happy to help her out. Whilst out on your summer trip you may get to see other lone crusiers and it will give you a chance to chat to them.

 

 

JDI - Thanks for the explanation Steve & Chris! I get it now

 

I agree Jo - not that I'd look for help from blokes in particular, but kind people do offer if you're in difficulties. Sometimes, people think you must be unhappy in your single state and are actually looking to change that situation! Just talking personally here. They find it hard to understand that you have chosen to live alone and don't want to give up that wonderful freedom! (especially if you've been there and done that already).

I'm wondering if there might still be a gender divide here? Is it my imagination that women who want to live alone are seen as anomalies in the way that 'batchelor' men are not? I'm guessing this from the reactions of people I've met - and my own mother! 'Yes dear - you're having a nice time, but when are you going to get a new man?!!!'

[honey ryder]

you can have mine if you want... he left me to do it on my own while he ferked off down the towpath because he was bored. it wasnt so hard really but there was virtually no wind... which makes all the difference.

its more a faff than difficult.

youve got to stop at the lock ( or bridge), tie off the centre rope or the front one then leg it up onto the lock, get the gates open, leg it back down again, untie, either pull the boat through or just hop on and drive it in, climb up a ladder with the centre rope again, blah blah.. im sure you can see what i mean about faffing.

i dont mind doing it on my own but its sooo much easier when people give you a hand, anything for an easy life.

[Chris J W]

JDI - Thanks for the explanation Steve & Chris! I get it now

 

I'm wondering if there might still be a gender divide here? Is it my imagination that women who want to live alone are seen as anomalies in the way that 'batchelor' men are not? I'm guessing this from the reactions of people I've met - and my own mother! 'Yes dear - you're having a nice time, but when are you going to get a new man?!!!'

 

I'm single at the mo, but most of my mates seem to be convinced that I'll be utterly damned to stay that way when I move onto a boat! They don't seem to get that I'm perfectly used to living on my own, and quite looking forward to it! They seem to think that most of the men will a combination of the arch-type hippy and Fred Dibbnah and that women by themselves will be dyed-in-the-wool lesbians! A very strange view of the world, I must say.

 

They don't even believe that youngsters like Dan exist!

 

Personally - I just they are jealous as I've gotten up the courage (ah-hem, and the cash!) to escape the rat race and persue a dream.

[mareco]

Hi - just back from a great day kayaking backwards and forwards across the Exe. Glorious, glittery day. I got stuck on a sandbank halfway across at one point as the tide went out a bit PDQ (that's Pretty Damn Quick Carrie ) but a mate was there to give me a push and a shove otherwise I'd have had to get a bit wet or sit there until the tide turned I think!.

 

Wow, thanks for all the interesting advice and supportive comments! Well OK I did mean to write JFDI - however I was trying to be aware that there might be some folk here of a more sensitive nature. Obviously I was wrong!

 

Jo I'm not sure yet where I'll be starting out from. It'll probably be Devizes or somewhere along that route. But I'm really open to suggestions.

 

Yes I like my own company too, although it took a while to get to this after a busy life with kids and home etc. But that's not to say I don't appreciate good company and I'm not too proud to ask for help if need be. Can't be good at everything can we girls? Have always been fiercely independent and I'm perfectly capable of looking after myself. Thankfully though I've never been the sort to have an attack of the vapours if my hair gets messed up or I break a nail. But you're right Chris, just because a woman likes being alone and doesn't need looking after, it doesn't necessarily mean that she is a "dyed-in-the-wool lesbian".

 

Mary

 

PS "gratuitous fucking" - doesn't that create a wash?

[Chris J W]

...never been the sort to have an attack of the vapours if my hair gets messed up ...

 

I know plenty of young, trendy-type, men that really WOULD get the vapours if their gelled creations got messed up!

 

PS "gratuitous fucking" - doesn't that create a wash?

 

That's a new keyboard you owe me due to coffee spurting everywhere! Just don't tell BW you've been causing erosion!

[mareco]

Heeeeeeeeeee

[blackrose]

I'm wondering if there might still be a gender divide here? Is it my imagination that women who want to live alone are seen as anomalies in the way that 'batchelor' men are not? I'm guessing this from the reactions of people I've met - and my own mother! 'Yes dear - you're having a nice time, but when are you going to get a new man?!!!'

 

Not true Carrie, I don't know why some women imagine that men don't have similar difficulties to deal with too? I also live alone out of choice and was asked by one woman on a boat near me what was wrong with me and if I'm gay! Another female neighbour often scoffs at my 'spaz-batch' lifestyle. It's almost as if they resent the fact that there's an independent, intelligent, decent looking bloke who doesn't have to rely on a woman & isn't under the cosh.

 

There are as many single women on boats at my mooring as single men, but I don't think anyone considers them oddities (and I'd certainly never be so crass to ask them if they're dykes!)

 

So it's not just women, I'm afraid we singletons are all seen by those less enlightened as anomalies, but in this current Daily Mail atmosphere of paranoia, single middle-aged men suffer from the further prejudice that we're perceived by some sections of society as potential paedophiles.

 

Having never been married or done the family thing I do realise that I'm missing out, but personally like yourself, I prefer the freedom of waking up on a Sunday morning without any plans - should I go to the coffee shop and read the paper, or have breakfast on the boat with Radio 4, or meet another single friend for Sunday lunch in a pub? When at the same time I know that my married mates are having to wake up early to take little Johhny to football practice or are getting screamed at to clear out the shed... (no thanks!)

 

Mike

 

PS) My mother constantly asks me when I'm going to get a new partner too!

Edited April 11, 2007 by blackrose

[Djuwenda]

Having never been married or done the family thing I do realise that I'm missing out, but personally like yourself, I prefer the freedom of waking up on a Sunday morning without any plans - should I go to the coffee shop and read the paper, or have breakfast on the boat with Radio 4, or meet another single friend for Sunday lunch in a pub? When at the same time I know that my married mates are having to wake up early to take little Johhny to football practice or are getting screamed at to clear out the shed... (no thanks!)

 

+1...

 

my thoughts exactly

 

Sometimes when I sit on the boat on a sunny week end day reading the paper and enjoying a beer, I look at the famillies walking by, carting nappies, prams, toys, sulkings kids and angry moms.

 

I sometimes just have to avoid the dads gaze, I cant help thinking: "what a fine mess you got yourself in pal..."

[blackrose]

I sometimes just have to avoid the dads gaze, I cant help thinking: "what a fine mess you got yourself in pal..."

 

 

Oh well, he may have the last laugh when we're old and lonely.

Edited April 11, 2007 by blackrose

[mareco]

I don't believe it - my house sale fell through! I'm gutted

[Chris J W]

If it's any help ... I'm getting about £40k less in my severance package than I was expecting just because I was one grade too low when I started. Pain!

Edited April 15, 2007 by Chris J W

[Big Steve]

I'm worried about going single handed because of all the bridges around here, don't motorists get irate when they have to wait for you to go to lift the bridge, go to boat, motor under bridge, tie up. walk back, lower bridge?

[Chris J W]

I'm worried about going single handed because of all the bridges around here, don't motorists get irate when they have to wait for you to go to lift the bridge, go to boat, motor under bridge, tie up. walk back, lower bridge?

 

Hadn't considered that! With luck, though, I'll be doing that part with a mate on-board who's an awful lot bigger than me!

[John Orentas]

I'm worried about going single handed because of all the bridges around here, don't motorists get irate when they have to wait for you to go to lift the bridge, go to boat, motor under bridge, tie up. walk back, lower bridge?

 

 

Thats all part of the fun, if you time things right and hit rush hour you can sometimes make 20 or more people late home.