Wheeeeeeeeeze

[bizzard]

Sorry this is a bit late Gibbo but all my time has been taken up developing and eradicating minor teething problems with my Dark bulb invention.

Well folks what with the dark nights now and the old forum being a bit boring lately with no nice big juicy arguments and rows to gloat over and all the usual boring inverter, batteries and toilet stuff over and over and over again i thought i'd let myself go and post something ridiculous for a change instead of being dead serious all the time, although of course because its dedicated to Gibbo i feel that it has to be appropriate so unfortunately it is sort of electrical.

So for all those insomniacs out there this is a must.

First of all gather together a couple of hundred old baked bean tins, a handful of pop rivets and six old redundant Micro-wave ovens.

Cut open and with a hammer beat out flat all the tins.

With the tins construct a large sort of coffin by fixing em together with the pop rivets with a nice large glass paneled door on one side.

Rip the six old Micro-wave ovens apart saving all the electrical gubbins and of course all the micro-waves.

Arrange and connect up this gubbins inside the tin box fixing the control knobs and timers inside and outside, stick a plug on the mains flex and plug it in.

Of course you must have sussed it by now, YES!!! this is going to be the very latest state of the art ultra high-tech, high speed micro-wave bed. You will of course want to be all nice and comfy in it Gibbo so load in blankets, pillows and a huge sheet of oven foil. You won't be needing a hot water bottle or electric blanket so a big saving there.

Ok so its time to

Sorry about this space folks, don't know what happened.

 

go to bo bo's Gibbo so climb in taking with you a meat skewer. Get all nice and comfy in there by arranging the bedclothes ect. If you want someone to read you a bedtime story and kiss you goodnight now's the time. Finally envelope yourself entirely with the oven foil tucking it in all around. Shut the door and have the skewer to hand.

Because this invention is still at the development stage it'd be wise to have someone standing by watching through the glass door, and at any signs of distress or mal-function can let you out.

The timer is set according to how big you are but for the average sized person 4 mins is about right.

A big deep sleep is now about to descend upon you with no time for dreaming.

You or your helper can throw the MAIN switch ON to set it going.

CLUNK!!!!!!Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzze!!!!!!!!!!. After a minute your helper should check you for any scorching and give you a prod with the skewer to see if your done, all being well switch on again for the final 3 mins. after which switch off, your eyes should pop open so leap out, now feeling fully refreshed wide awake, full of beans and ready for breakfast.

Well there you have it folks a full 8 hours sleep achieved in just 3 minutes, fantastic.

[BlueStringPudding]

[nigel fryer]

Two things you forgot to mention ! 1what size fuse ?

2 will it run off an inverter ?Many thanks lol

[bizzard]

Two things you forgot to mention ! 1what size fuse ?

2 will it run off an inverter ?Many thanks lol

No fuse needed as Gibbo the oven foil and skewer will make an excellent fuse.

Unless your inverter can deliver about 6000 watts i'm afraid its landline only.

[BlueStringPudding]

No fuse needed as Gibbo the oven foil and skewer will make an excellent fuse.

Unless your inverter can deliver about 6000 watts i'm afraid its landline only.

 

Which bit of the fuse will melt through in the event of some sort of overload? Gibbo's duodenum?

[bizzard]

Which bit of the fuse will melt through in the event of some sort of overload? Gibbo's duodenum?

Could well be, and the warning first of all would be a trembling tonsil, if he's still got em that is, if not an ear should glow white hot and drop off''plop'', or a fail safe device like a thermo- couple could be glued to his tongue wired up to switch it off.

[mickspangle]

I've got one of these but it won't work from my generator do I need pure sine wave etc etc

[Psycloud]

Where does the Smart Gauge go? Don't want to fry the batteries

[mickspangle]

You don't need a smart gauge. You just need a voltmeter, ammeter, hydrometer, galvanometer, lookup tables, slide rule, graph paper and the Boys Own Book of Batteries.