Sir Nibble I feel for you and know exactly what you go through. I have been sole carer to my special needs son since he was 8 months old,he is now 16 and I have yet to see any sensible help or ever get any respite.
Years back when I pressed for some help all I got was " we can't understand what you need...... ", when I pressed the point further all I got was " so you are saying that your son is in danger staying with you and we need to have him adopted".
This year the student social worker, appointed after my son went into melt down with extreme anxiety, begging people to kill him ( and also threateneing suicide) because he is so terrified of the future and can't cope with life just sat there saying there is no problem and he is just being a normal teenager. She also stated that I really should go out and leave him for several hours at a time so I could do all I needed, "what possible harm can there be?" Can you imagine what would have happened if I had acted on this advice and harm had come my son's way?
It seems that sadly most social workers are totally gormless and have no experience whatever of real life .