Today's handy hints

[roland elsdon]

1) don't say I didn't see you to a town class steerer when you,

A) can't see over the continuous cruising rubbish on your roof coal generators wheel barrow, roof boxes scrap bikes, plants, bits of old car pallets, bits of old wood, dog kennels

are on the wrong side C) going like the clappers D) sitting on a stool E) on the phone.

 

2). If your plants return to nature from their rest rotting the roof of your cottage, because you crash into a tree don't blame me. I know anything on the top of a boat unless strapped down falls in at some point including small furry animals , children, and ultimately yourself, and it's a long way in from top planks , that's why old boats chain down chimneys cans and anything else.

 

3) if you come flying round a blind bend and hit my bows because you can't stop it's your own fault. Water gets under the boat and strangely you can't stop. We know this you have yet to learn, that's why we creep slowly..

 

4) finally. Asking a bloke sitting in the middle of the canal 5 feet out from a lock to move so you can get Into the lock is likely to met by a comment questioning your parentage and sanity. He is clearly happy to be wondering why there is 3 inches of counter out of the water on both sides of his boat, and how now his lock wheeler has steamed off on the bike he is going to reach the next lock. Coming up to his bow as he uses the shaft to swing the boat will result in you loosing windows, and the comment "you can't be stuck I'm floating "may be ignored.

You just have to wait, maybe polish the brass, make a phone call or possibly even help...

 

I had fun today ( til it rained on the just painted cabin top) I learned more about humans than a lifetimes work in psychiatry.

Maybe more helpful hints tomorrow...

[Supertramp]

Did nothing happen after lunch then?

[John V]

must be a part timer