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Joelsanders "the angry boater"

gary955

By gary955
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Joelsanders Collaborator

Joelsanders

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Joel do we know each other as you apparently know me, don't really understand the comment about me being stuck somewhere.

 

I have had to deal with real angry people in the past the Father who wanted to kill the person who had mown down his daughter while drunk, A young man who's 63 year old mum was beat up by a burglar for 6 pounds, and I could go on, these people are the ones who have a right to be angry.

Last year I was moored at one of my favorite spots just next to a winding hole where a trip boat turns 3 times a day, another narrow boat pulled in the space in front of me where there was a no mooring sign, now I must admit the sign is not obvious when you first pull in. So I said to him, hi mate do you know your not supposed to moor there to which to which he replied bloody hell didn't see that and began untying his boat, 15 seconds later another boater appeared ranting and raving about blocking the winding, to which a massive argument took place, I thought it was going to end in fisticuffs. So my point here is the boater was going to move but because an angry boater intervened a situation turned really nasty.

 

Personally don't do sarcastic and patronising I tend to think it comes over as condescending arrogance

Thank you for being so open.

 

I doubt we have met and yet - YES - we absolutely do know each other. I am everyone you have ever met and different aspects of you are there in everyone I have met ... & myself too. In the words of Jimmy Pursey "understand him - he'll understand you ... for you are him and he is you."

 

We are all angry sometimes -and condescending & arrogant. We can all be giving, selfish, smart & dumb too. Our closest friends can become our deepest enemies and we can feel great affection & warmth towards those we once felt hatred towards - often changing our entire belief system about a person in a heart beat. The gentle, kind & loving person is equally capable of being harsh, mean & hateful.

 

That is you, me , your father, all the CRT executives, Max Clifford, those other boaters, all the characters you have referenced in your post - all of us. Just because we see one side of a person , it is easy to assume that is all there is. We all do it and that is because our emotions blind us from seeing the other side.

 

When we feel angry towards someone, we become blinded to their calm & compassionate side. Similarly , if we see someone as being fair , reasonable and open, we will probably be blind to their selfish , unfair and prejudiced side. If you have ever thought someone is "always like that" it just means you haven't looked closely enough. It is a misperception.

 

But, again, we are ALL everything - sometimes. Our experiences with each person dictate which energies come out.

 

When someone offers us things we want or need, we believe that is a good person. If they deny us something important to us, then they are "bad." Or are they? It can be intense. Neither of those perceptions is actually the truth, They are just our judgements based on our experiences, belief systems, values & prejudices.

 

Everyone has a right to be angry. Everyone has a right to every emotion. When you are born , you get the full package. That is what it means to be human.

 

Yes, you can be arrogant, condescending daft & closed. To me, that was how your first post came across. You can also be humble. sensitive intelligent & vulnerable. That is how I find you now. It doesn't mean I am RIGHT in those perceptions though. It is just my silly judgements based on how open or closed you are being towards me.

 

In just 2 posts from you , I have seen 2 completely different sides to you.

 

You might feel the same about my 2 responses to you. When you first posted, I regarded what you wrote as unworthy of a friendly or kind response so I opened fire. Now, it seems this exchange is the complete opposite for us both. Do you agree?

 

I do not want to speak for you though. Your perceptions of me are for you - and they are also your entitlement.

 

Personally, I often react strongly when someone judges a creative endeavour as "rubbish" rather than acknowledge that it is just not for them. That does not mean I am right to do so though. A good chunk of my life has been spent in the arts so its a world I try to support. When I see others disrespecting a world that I love, it comes across to me as something I want to defend . In this instance, not only did I see you as judging something you had not made an effort to try to understand but you also came across as abusive towards me. Consequently, and partly because I was in an irritable mood last night anyway, I decided to behave in a similar way. I quite enjoyed it if I'm honest ... and it felt justified. You gave me an opportunity to be rude & cutting. Yes, sometimes, I enjoy getting to do that too.

 

I try to be accountable for what I say and think . Consequently, I like others to do the same. That is another of my prejudices. I do not like people when they try to avoiding taking responsibility for their actions... Or what they say / write. Again, this has nothing to do with what is right or wrong. It is just something that triggers me & will often cause me to react.

 

When I referred to you being "stuck" , it was a metaphor. I saw you as being stuck in your thinking and I wanted to push your buttons to see what would happen. Sometimes when provoked, we dig in and become even more determined to fight our corner; other times we become more introspective and can maybe start to see things in another way.

 

This time I was not being sarcastic or patronising.

 

I hope you have an awesome day.

Edited by Joelsanders
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Naughty Cal Veteran II

Naughty Cal

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Why so deeply antagonistic Rache?

Because there are some people in life who deeply deserve it. And Joel, the angry boater, is one of them.

 

He seems happy enough to dish it out so im sure he will be happy enough to be on the receiving end.

I keep getting this sense that there is something deeply vulnerable & fragile about you. I don't want to be mean to you..... so I won't be.

 

Gd luck finding whatever you want / need.

There you go again.

 

What makes you so sure I have anything to find? Anything I need?

 

You are the "angry boater" perhaps it's you that needs to do the finding!

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Joelsanders Collaborator

Joelsanders

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I'm just another mirror to your own tortured, precious soul, sweet Rachel with an 'A.'

 

The day I no longer have things to find / learn / discover will be the day I'm ready to stop living.

 

As for what makes me so sure about your neediness, let's just say that my certainty is stronger than your doubt .

 

Yes, there I go again .... and there you go again. Over & over - day after day.

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Joelsanders Collaborator

Joelsanders

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Gawd...I think I'm going to be sick....

If it's any use, I'm actually starting to bore myself now.

Hardly. I don't do namby pamby feel good mumbo jumbo.

Call a spade a spade and have done with it. Why beat about the bush?

Mumbo jumbo namby pamby

 

Nice title for your first album

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Joelsanders Collaborator

Joelsanders

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More of what your shrink told you?Now come on everyone. Pull your chairs into a circle. Don't be shy there, join the group. Our counsellor Joel would like you all to introduce yourselves so he can analyse your thoughts.

But yes , you do appear to have manipulated me into that role and it's getting tedious.

 

For my own amusement & stimulation, I will now respond to your posts from a surreal perspective,

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gary955 Proficient

gary955

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Phylis /NC/Rachel

You're making yourself seem even more ridiculous than normal. Please stop, I'm embarrased for you.

I think you like to think of yourself as a big hitter on this forum but most of your posts are simply rebuttals of an argument without reasoned explanation, or increasingly, insults of other members. It really adds nothing.

The members list shows you te be one of the most prolific posters but your approval rate is amongst the lowest of any at less than 0.8 % of your post count. The average for most posters seems to be 4% to 8%. Interestingly Joelsanders was 26% when i looked.

If you dont like what the "angry boater" has to say then dont look, there's really no need to interfere if others wish to engage with the sort of thing that you clearly think is mumbo jumbo. By insisting on participating in the way that you are, you're sort of inadvertantly exposing your inadequacies.

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LoneWolf Rising Star

LoneWolf

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Hardly. I don't do namby pamby feel good mumbo jumbo.

 

Call a spade a spade and have done with it. Why beat about the bush?

 

but you do do getting into a rage after an argument and speeding around brayford pool landing you in court

 

You also do damaging your hand by punching your boyfriend as well iirc

 

Remind me who the angry boater is again?

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Naughty Cal Veteran II

Naughty Cal

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but you do do getting into a rage after an argument and speeding around brayford pool landing you in court

 

You also do damaging your hand by punching your boyfriend as well iirc

 

Remind me who the angry boater is again?

Two incidents in 30 years. Must make me the angriest person on the planet clapping.gif

 

For the record I wasnt speeding around the Brayford rather through it to get homeblush.png

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Naughty Cal Veteran II

Naughty Cal

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Phylis /NC/Rachel

You're making yourself seem even more ridiculous than normal. Please stop, I'm embarrased for you.

I think you like to think of yourself as a big hitter on this forum but most of your posts are simply rebuttals of an argument without reasoned explanation, or increasingly, insults of other members. It really adds nothing.

The members list shows you te be one of the most prolific posters but your approval rate is amongst the lowest of any at less than 0.8 % of your post count. The average for most posters seems to be 4% to 8%. Interestingly Joelsanders was 26% when i looked.

If you dont like what the "angry boater" has to say then dont look, there's really no need to interfere if others wish to engage with the sort of thing that you clearly think is mumbo jumbo. By insisting on participating in the way that you are, you're sort of inadvertantly exposing your inadequacies.

 

And that has exactly what to do with anything?

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mayalld Veteran II

mayalld

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Did you really perceive that my tone in my pm to you was an attempt to continue an argument ? Since you have not taken up my invitation to post what I wrote to you, would you object if I did so myself ?

 

 

"My view is that having been told that what you were doing wasn't allowed, instead of either engaging in discussion about that, or retiring to consult with the moderator on the grassy knoll, you reached a decision."

 

Yes absolutely . Having been specifically told by a mod that what I was doing was fine, why would I choose to listen to your guidance instead - especially considering the tone you chose -and continue to choose - to communicate with ? I'm going to hazard a guess that having people defy or ignore your directives might be something of a pattern in the world of Alan. It's coming across as a big issue for you. Again, I'm not judging you for it . I often do it myself when my buttons get pushed so I totally get it . I'm curious if you accept that observation though or whether you prefer to keep it bubbling away under the surface . It partly comes down to how finely tuned your skills of empathy are.

 

"You decided that you wouldn't abide by what people had told you was the rule, but that instead you would make up a new rule that was less stringent than the real rule and allowed you to do what you wanted to do. You didn't put it forward as an idea ("What about if I did this, would that be OK?"), you announced that this is what you were going to do. "

 

Again - not people . YOU? A rude stranger who came across to me as a control freak . So here are you suggesting that - had I asked your permission - you might have shown more benevolence ?

 

"If you adopt a bull headed attitude to doing whatever you want, then you must expect people to be scathing in their response to you."

 

Absolutely right ! But do you not see that this is exactly what you do as well? You are clearly very intelligent . I cannot imagine that you do not see this same bullheaded streak in your own personality and it is unfathomable to me that you would not understand that - when someone treats you as you treat them - it is because you have done something to illicit this behaviour . Or is it that you are very used to people caving in to your tactics ?

 

 

So many things to explain, and so little lunch hour.

 

Firstly, I don't know why the "world of Alan" is relevant. I'm Dave.

 

Secondly, you appear to be having some difficulty with the concept of what an argument is. At no point have I suggested that the tone of your PM was in any way out of order. Indeed, I will say that it was polite. It was, however, an attempt to (politely) continue the argument by PM. I don't do that. No adverse comment intended. I simply choose not to engage in that way.

 

Thirdly, let us consider my "tone". Here is the content of my post where I told you that what you were doing was against the rules;

 

 

 

OK, that is where you are going to increasingly find that people are hacked off with you.

 

You came here and you made a post specifically to tell us that you have a blog. People went and looked at your blog. Some liked it and decided to read it. Others decided that it wasn't for them.

 

So far, so good, and nothing to object to.

 

However, if it is your intention to post every week simply to advertise your blog, then patience will rapidly wear very thin. This site is "Canal World Discussion Forum". people come here to discuss stuff. It is not "Canal World Blog Advertising Forum", and posts that have no purpose other than to drum up readers for your blog are inappropriate and not permitted under the forum rules;

 

 

 

Essentially, if you want to come here and discuss stuff, that's fine, and you can even include a link to your blog in your signature. If all you want to do is advertise your blog, it isn't fine.

 

It is, in any case, not going to achieve anything. You have got the word out, and most of the people who might read your blog from here are now doing so. Continuing to advertise it isn't going to garner many readers, and is very likely to persuade some of your readers not to bother in future.

 

If what you write is worth reading, you may even occasionally find that other people choose to link to a particular item.

 

If you dislike the tone of that message, then that is a matter of your own preference., but I would contend that I tried to explain why there was a rule, and that the tone I adopted was reasonable. My later message, AFTER you had announced an intention not to follow the rules was, indeed, dripping with sarcasm, but that came after your decision to put yourself above the rules.

 

Fourthly, you appear to put enormous emphasis on people's positions of authority, and upon the way they interact with you, in deciding whether you are going to accept what they say (both here and on your boat).

 

In telling you that something is against the rules, I am relating a fact to you. It matters not whether I am in charge of enforcing that rule, or whether I tell you nicely. The fact that it is a rule remains!

 

Even if the rule was not related to you in the manner that you expect to be dealt with, the fact of the rule remains, and it gives you no excuse to ignore it (particularly when the person whose attitude you take issue with isn't an admin).

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Naughty Cal Veteran II

Naughty Cal

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Oh !

 

For the record, I'm not the boyfriend and I'm never going to Brayford.

 

I'm going to try surrealism in response to sweet Rachel with an A for a while .Feel free to join in.

 

It will be fun and calm things down a bit.

 

Good god no. I would rather jump off the nearest bridge than live within a 50 mile radius of you thanks.

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Joelsanders Collaborator

Joelsanders

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Two incidents in 30 years. Must make me the angriest person on the planet :clapping:

 

For the record I wasnt speeding around the Brayford rather through it to get home:blush:

For the record, I wanted to say how much I love your yoghurts , sweet organic Rachel with an A. So much better than Muller. Please share your secret,

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mayalld Veteran II

mayalld

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For the record, I wanted to say how much I love your yoghurts , sweet organic Rachel with an A. So much better than Muller. Please share your secret,

 

You appear to be posting nonsense, with the specific intent of causing disruption.

 

Back under your bridge!

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