Jim Riley

How many could swim? Suppose you can drown professionals with impunity. We are talking Littleborough to Summit flight here on the Rochdale. A queue? Nah!

A few of the locks nearby have narrowed anyway, signs say one boat only, so it might not have made any difference. The rest of the locks, they've used a Stihl saw to cut a channel in the stonework for the ladder.

Why is all the operating gear on the offside for Swing bridges etc - because it leaves the towpath clear for the 'oss and it's line. You'd a thunk they would "of " considered elderly boaters of the future when they built the canals.

2 lengths of orange string apart?

What is the level of risk though, how many kids play by the canal, how many die? I used to play by the canal when I was a lad, fishing for sticklebacks, later with a rod. I've just been moored in Castleford cut, Bulholme lock has a regular horde of youths, 12 yrs ish upwards, swimming by the lock, deep water on that stretch. Same at Lemonroyd, jumping off the lock tail and off the bridge above the adjacent wier. Would they give No Swimming signs any credence, no doubt their parents don't know, mine didn't, we had been told not to play near canal.

The cure we "proposed" in our youth as a cure for chapped lips would be efficacious. A tad of dog poo smeared on lips, stops you licking them.

Last time there was a plastic wood landing stage on the right before the lock, going up, partly burnt out but usable. Has that been taken away? Posts crossed in the ether while I had my dinner!

Brighouse? There is a landing stage just by the lock tail, has it been removed? I've had no problem single handed. The volockies were there last time I went through, no problems.

It's a lovely Lemony Snicket.

What about the PRN?

"Mabel, quick, cover up the budgie, Nick is coming round."

Exactly, the vollies are just there to help, not order us about. "To busy to ask if the boater wants help" says it all.