Thames Ring

[Evo]

I wake up early next morning and I'm all alone..funny...Ive been up first every morning so far..!!

"I've done you a cup of tea"

"Oh right, bring it here then".

"no. get up."

I glance down the boat and she's dressed aswell.

"Its lovely this morning"

"Really" chuckle chuckle

 

I leap out of bed, quickly get dressed, and fire the bed away.

Marie-Anne hates doing anything naughty, she hates being caught. I said nothing until we quietly slid out of the illegal mooring and continued to the lock.

"heehee did you get any sleep at all last night..?"

"sod off"

 

"ooh look, we are so early theres no lock keeper, your going to have to do it" snigger

"No problem, drop me off"

 

We got to the next lock and the keeper was there....but his shift hadn't started yet and the "Do it yersen" sign was up...She didn't see it and hung about waiting for him to do something, I was getting impatient, the sign was right in front of my face. The keeper was in and out of his hut milling about all over the place, dragging his notice boards out, eventually she plucked up the courage to say something. Next minute she was opening the lock for me.

 

"What you been messing about at?" all I got back was an evil stare.

 

It was a nice morning though, one of those real nice mornings. We get to the next lock and this is where I made a mistake the other day. I said a couple of days ago that I also had had trouble at Osney lock..well I didn't..it was Cleeve lock I had trouble at. As I approached it the flow from the Weir shoved the front of the boat forcefully to the left. I didn't bother to fight it, I let the whole boat drift over. The keeper was emptying the lock for 2 boats comming down at the time. They came out and As we went in he shouted to me "did you have trouble getting in then..?" "yes mate, a very strong flow shoved the nose right over, so I didn't bother trying", "Yeah I saw that, I'll put the lock on public and go sort it out, you OK to do the lock yourselves". "Yes mate, cheers". I have no idea what he went to do, but he seemed to be allready aware that there was a problem. We did the lock and told those comming in what was happening and that they would have to do the same.

 

It wasn't a problem, but If I had tried to get onto the pontoon it might have been, I could see myself getting full broadside across the lock quite easily.

 

 

Funny thing, I was allowed to have a beer at 11 oclock that day. She got the crossword out and we both sat at the back tootling along sipping beer struggling with it.

Edited September 2, 2010 by Evo

[Evo]

Things went on as normal then for a couple of hours, we had the odd spit of rain, and the odd 100mph gust of wind, but other than that fine. We got to Sandford lock lunchtime and I spotted the pub. on the way out of the lock "Hmm I wonder if she fancies eating out for lunch.?" I ram it in reverse and slide upto the pub mooring.."whats happening...oooh, pub, Ok". Whats going on here then I thought, no struggle, no making me feel guilty for dragging her to the pub, i reckon I've converted her.

 

We had another Ok meal and a couple of pints, and then set off again. Not for long though, a full belly and a few beers and things got a bit fruity, hey hey, "I must find somewhere to stop...!!!..NOW.!".

 

So about 7 we got up and had tea, we watched a film, and then went back to bed.

 

In the morning I noticed we'd only done about 3 fields after we left the pub..but I had had my second favourite afternoon .. hahaha...the mooring was a stretch of common land at kennington and was free, what could be better than that.

[Evo]

Next day will be our last...(how fast it goes). All we have to do is get to Kidlington. Which means off the river and back on the narrow stuff. We wanted to get on the canal asap and go up through Oxford on the cut rather than bypass it on the river. Big mistake..! what a dump, It was like going through a gippo camp. The most unloved untidy (cant believe they float) boats. They are all on long term moorings so you cant moor anywhere, not that you'd want to anyway. The towpath is covered in old batteries, chopped up bits of hedgerow, and general crap. It was horible. If I was BW i wouldn't want some Bronx slum practically the length of the town bit. I know this type of 'traveller camp' exists all over the network, it was just a shock after we'd come off the lovely river. I sound like a snobby up my own arse dick I suppose, but my old mum taught me that living like that was bad ( so I cant help it) - any lazy sod can live in sh*t. Its not all bad but a large percentage is. Anyway, we made it take us all day to get to Kiddlington and finally moored up under a bridge between 2 pubs. Forgot the pubs name for the moment, its recently changed name.

 

 

Thats it for us, so we tidy up, have some grub, and go and get pissed in the pub with the bloke on the boat behind. A good night.

 

Next morning the Daughter is one her way, I'm reading my book, Marie-Annes got the sodding vac out again, all of a sudden the rear of a boat goes past the window going backwards - The engines running with no one at the helm. The tiller looks locked in straight position. As the front end goes by theres this bloke steering with what looks like a pole. WTF is going on here..!!! I leaned out the cratch to have a look. It looked like he knew what he was doing and slid down the side of all the moored boats no problem. It was Weird though. What happens if he has to stop quick...? I mean, I assume all the motor controls are 70ft away.

 

Its a nice morning and they arrive to take over the boat. We do a couple of hours with them through some swing bridges and locks, I feel like I'm talking to myself, I wish people would just carry on what they are doing steering the boat and looking where they are going when I am telling them something, Why is this idiot staring at me.? is he lip reading or something, for gods sake watch where you're going. He's all over the place..I've got to leave the boat with these for a week...oooh no..!!! We get off and walk miles back to the daughters car and go home.

 

All that good sleep and rest I had - wasted. A week now of imagining the boat sinking, burning, or of them locking themselves out, losing the keys, you name it I thought it - generally about 11:30 evernight I got sweaty and restless thinking all these things.

Edited September 10, 2010 by Evo

[Evo]

Now having been back a few weeks, for a river ring, we still prefer the Leicester ring. We've now done the Avon, Severn, Soar and Thames.

We had a great time on the Thames and everyone we met down there was brilliant, The EA lock keepers couldn't be any better. For a river the facilities (water etc) are very good. Everything is at the locks, which is a good idea, no searching for water/rubbish/sanitary points. I dont have anything to complain about, its a good experience and there are some interesting sights. You dont have to do anything in advance like worrying about tide times..pah, who gives a monkeys about that. If your really bothered all you need is the openimg times of Brentford or Teddington lock - look online. We did sod all and it made it more of an adventure. As WJM said 'let EA do all the worrying'. All you have to do is turn up.

 

The problem is the pubs are just crap. Once we left the Brewers Tap at Brentford - which is alot more a canal than river pub - after that pub wise it was a let down. Every pub on the river is the bloody same. They all want to sell you food and none have any atmosphere. Its as if they all belong to the same restaurant chain. I got fed up with the total lack of character, just boring modern or refurbed to modern pubs all staffed with exactly the same folk in very similar workwear uniforms. We need to give up trying to be Americans, we are not good enough at it. "Have a nice day" will be next.

 

Anyway, once your used to the size of the river , the huge cruisers, the sparse moorings, the equally-spaced automatic locks, and the fact that the next pub will be exactly the same as the last one, then you start to wonder what all the fuss is about and begin to want to get back on the old canal.

 

I didn't meet as many people either, a few nice chaps - a nice old boy who worked at one of the film studios, a Dutch guy at a water point, the 2 'old farts' in the motorised punt - who we'd had a lengthy chat with when they'd u turned and started on their way back.

 

Its the locks though isn't it...the fact that you dont actually have to do anything or talk to anyone for the whole trip. You arrive at a lock, you park up, you wait for the gate to open, you drive in, you wait for it to fill up/drain down, you drive out. You dont have to do or say anything.

 

The whole thing was basically all too easy. A massive great open space channel with plenty of room and very little traffic.

 

As we left the river to get back on the canal, instant communication and chatting at the awkward little lock by a very tight bend. 3 narrowboats buzzing around a little lock, 2 comming down and us going up...excellent...SOMETHING TO DO..!! about sums it up.!

 

Another interesting thing happened in the following week. My daughter has been away with us 3 or 4 times in the past on the boat...there was usually the 4 of us and the 2 grandparents. Everyone we met was always very friendly and nice to everyone including the kids. This was her first time on her own on the boat with her boyfriend but she remembered how nice everyone had been. This time she said the attitude of some is completely different. She's 21, he's 25, She said she couldn't believe have stuffy and horible people were until they found out it wasn't their boat. "As soon we told them it was my parents boat, they were fine, it was really weird". Whats all that about..? Folk are starnge.

[Neil TNC]

 

 

Its the locks though isn't it...the fact that you dont actually have to do anything or talk to anyone for the whole trip. You arrive at a lock, you park up, you wait for the gate to open, you drive in, you wait for it to fill up/drain down, you drive out. You dont have to do or say anything.

 

 

You obviously haven't hand cranked Molsey at 02:00am, after the power was turned off!

I enjoyed your report.

I see Steve the mooring warden caught you at Henley...he catches everyone, often when a boater has just got one pin in!

He does all the moorings from Henley Bridge down to Hurley.

Don't be fooled by his little ex EA launch, he really is a liveaboard narrowboater!

[Evo]

He was Actually like everyone else we met, a top bloke. He was telling me where to go in the town to get shopping - and where to get a superb full English, and he let me off a few quid for a short stay. He's Alright he is. Its was just the shock of people popping up all over the place demanding monies..!!! , Felt like I'd just been de-flowered.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Not that I know what that feels like you understand..! I'm only going on what Stephen Fry says.

Edited September 13, 2010 by Evo