Webchem

What's more, its free - Hurray!

Now there is an expression that I haven't heard in a long long time!

And I thought a Kelvin P4 was a computer processor

Her indoors has recently discovered that she has Canals in her blood. A delve into her family history shows that she is descended from a family of Waterman that appeared to be based in Worcester in the 1840s - at least that's what is says on various certificates and census returns. They then move by 1850 to Worcester Wharf, Birmingham. By the 1860s James Lane is a Coal Dealer in Birmingham. Worcester Wharf is essentially the entrance to Gas Street basin from the W&B end? Does anyone have any idea what a Waterman might have done, in Jim Shead's site is says they were boatmen that worked on the River, but he is listed as a Waterman working in the centre of Birmingham (as well as earlier in Worcester which would make sense on the Severn). Is it a case of once a Waterman always a Waterman? Am I right in thinking that this period of history was at the time when the railways were starting to really bite into the canal trade, so would he have moved to work on the W&B when various railways opened? His son is listed as having been born on Canalside in Worcester, is this a euphamism for born on a boat? We are very excited by this - which explains my complete lack of logic in writing this. Anyone of you wise people got any thoughts? Thank you Julian

But its much nicer! That bit of the stratford it gorgeous, not to mention that great electric lift bridge. Make sure you arrive at rush hour for maximum irritation.

Cukoo wharf is pretty good and its relatively secure - I think I saw a guard last time. It even has all mod cons like loos and showers - not to mention the water point. I have been through Minworth a couple of times over the last few years, once late evening - no problems. Then the following year, had a few issues with a couple of kids who had gone 'native'. They were just kids and a fake phone call to 999 later all was fine and peaceful. I had 26 large sixth formers with me, so what the hell they thought they were doing taking us on. They would have been mincemeat if I had let the lads off the leash. We had a policy of waving and smiling to all we saw who made eye contact, sadly these 'chavs' thought we were being racist. Advice about centre of Brum is good here. Monday night in Cambrian Basin is really nice. Yanmax is right, the whole area is fascinating, but I will be avoiding it until my family is a little older.

Forgive my ignorance here, but: The Stourbridge extension canal is the bit that goes into Stourbridge itself? The Stourbridge Canal is the section from the top of the 16 locks (where you make a left turn if coming from Dudley), down to the junction with the Staffs and Worcs? Am I right? If so where is the damage? Is it on the junction of the two Stourbrige Canals, or is it futher up? There is a big park at the bottom of the locks, and BW have always encouraged us to move on from there. Any thoughts?

I am always disappointed by Oxford. As a kid I remember it as this wonderful place - where has it gone? Recently I have decided that Oxford has turned its arse to the river and canal, and ironically unless the students are there its a pit. Sorry to all those Oxford loving people out there, and feel free to slag off Poole; I will probably agree with you. That little bit of the GU between Lapworth and the top of Hatton is gorgeous - especially at sunset!

I think as long as you are sensible, Birmingham is not as bad as you think. There are obvious no-nos, like don't moor once you start the Farmers Bridge Flight until you reach the pleasant rural nature of Birmingham and Fazely. Cambrian Basin in the Centre of Birmingham has always been a great place for us. There are apparently secure moorings opposite the Bourneville factory - no access from the towpath side. The Pearson's guide is pretty good on advising suitable moorings on the Birmingham and Fazely. Using the Black Country Museums moorins is always a good idea. There are loads of pubs in this area, if you want variety, then the Stourport ring is a better bet - you could always do the extra bit to Wolverhampton if you wanted a challenge. It goes through just about every type of canal landscape, and is less prone to 'Bandits'. We tend to do it anticlockwise (from either Tardebigge or Alvechurch), Mooring as follows: Night 1: Just past the reservoirs on the W&B. Night 2: At the Bottom of the locks that lead up to the Dudley Tunnel - don't go up into the basin, the locks leak or at least they did. Night 3: Either at the bottom of Stoubridge 16 - about 1 mile from the bottom lock, or just after first two locks of flight. We normally go to the BCM so this is a short day. Shopping at Merryhill Shopping Centre. Night 4: Just outside Cookley Tunnel on the Staffy and Worcester - choice of many pubs. Night 5: Either in the Stourport Basin (couple of nice pubs), or on the river in Worcester (shopping). Night 6: Stoke Prior (just before the start of the locks), there is a nice pub opposite the water point. Miserable fishermen, but other wise nice mooring, don't go too far from the pub as there is an industrial site that lets of steam all night (NICE)! Night 7:Top of Tardebigge flight, or near your boatyard. Quite a few pubs in this area. My experience of Black Country ring is pretty limited to B'ham Mainline and Birmingham and Fazely. Warwickshire ring is pretty good, you just need to be aware of where you moor on the entrance and exit to B'ham. Once in the centre its fine. We normally do - leaving from Rugby: Night 1: Just north of Stretton Stop Night 2: Just south of Polesworth on the Coventry - shops in Atherstone, and pubs in Polesworth. Night 3: And this is a big day - up early, Cambrian Basin - thousands of locks if this is too big a day then Curdworth is worth s visit. Night 4: After morning in B'ham, top of Lapworth flight - The Boot is well worth a visit. Night 5: Top of Hatton Flight - or bottom of Hatton Flight - Cape Horn is excellent, morining in Warwick Night 6: Outside the Blue Lias, be warned it gets very busy early evening. Night 7: By Masters Bridge in Rugby. We had some abuse in Minworth by some local 'Chavs' who chose to misinterpret our friendly waves as abuse (!). Hope that helps.

What is really scary is that the frequency of these threads seems to be increasing. Saltyseadog's classification is really interesting and exactly what I have also noticed. The sixth formers I take out always ask the question, 'Why do these people feel the need to be so damn rude? They don't know us, and we could turn on them and beat them up, but we are nice people who want to have a good time, and meet new people, share stories and have lots of laughs. Sir, (thats me), why are they so rude?' This is a fair question, and I guess that over a week I heard it once a day (and we had three boats). A year ago, we had two incidents like this per boat. I reackon we had maybe 10 to 15 incidents of varying severity, from refusal to look any of us in the eye - this really irritates teenagers, to effing and blinding - which for some reason does not irritate them as much. I am afraid towards the end of the week, I started answering the question (and loudly if the boat owner was in hearing distance), 'Probably because he has a small willie.' Sorry for my unteacherly rudeness here. Maybe all those minority of boatowners who are rude need a small injection of happiness. After all, most of you own something the rest of us want, and have a lifestyle that most of us want also. If you are having a bad day, just remember the line from Madacasgar (the evil penguins), 'Smile and wave boys, smile and wave.' This is free! Yes an article in the boating press might help - name and shame the people!