heather2002

Please don't mention widebeams Tomsk. Gordon Brown will find a way to tax anyone over size zero for having a wide beam and taking up more space on the planet. Since I am way larger than size zero, I'd thank you for not giving him any more ideas for funding M.P's expenses;)

--td 1 [a] the voc. particle; precedes a noun in the voc. case ...+ean, or -nean, blockhead, fool [bus] nm. g.v. buis; pl. buis, mouth of an animal; (in a ludicrous sense) mouth of a man [bùth] nm. g. ... www.smo.uhi.ac.uk/gaidhlig/faclair/bb/bb.txt - 273k

Yes Carlt. I am capable of being self deprecating too. Personally I don't like Laura Ashley and have zero interest in different boat engines. Anyway I'm off to Facebook to have fun with my friends who also have a dry sense of humour

Och it's no a dour humourless Scot is it? Feel free to borrow my signature;)

Oh there are no foreigners on the canals. I tried to have a conversation the other week with someone who looked suspiciously like a foreigner, but he turned out to be a weatherbeaten chap from Newcastle. I asked him where he was from and couldn't figure out which country it was until someone told me he was from Newcastle.

Brasso? This one needs wallpapering with Laura Ashley wallpaper before any polishing begins

I never met him, but R.I.P Jack

<<<I would suggest the ONLY reason a series 1 landy owner would wave would be to wipe the condensation from the screen as Carl suggests!>>> I'm sorry but your typos made me read this differently. I knew you meant lady owner though so I should not nitpick Would that be lumps or lamps? I never know whose who and who's Jock's Father sometimes

[ Heather....... A series 1 Landrover IS a classic car! in fact unlike the stereotype of classic car owners (E-Type Jaguars, Rolls Royce etc) very many people own "affordable classics" as an inexpensive means of motoring (especially if they are happy to tinker with them themselves) I would suggest the ONLY reason a series 1 landy owner would wave would be to wipe the condensation from the screen as Carl suggests! Unless, of course, it is the toxic fumes being emitted from the drives woodbines, which, invariably fogs up the windscreen? Is this a co-incidence, for today is the 60th birthday of the launch of the original LandRover Ummm Oh I see. Ummm I am glad that you have a vehicle that gets you from A to B I think the army uses landrovers so they must be fairly reliable. I think they may be used on Safari's too so I would definitely want one of those if I was being chased by a tiger. I rather like the look of little electric cars that are easy to park. What's the snob value of those? Fogging up the windscreen is not a major problem, is it? I have a litte hand held fan that could de-mist it. Too much paraphernalia in those modern cars I say. Woodbines? My uncle used to smoke those. I know a lot of people who tinker with themselves but I would not discuss them in this forum. I am way too snobby to do that.

You would not want to have a pint with me Carlt. I didn't have enough diesel to get to the water point and have been unable to wash for a week. I squatted on a boat because it was safer than the streets. Do you have an address I might use to sign on? Floating out here, I'm singing to myself........Ground control to Major Tom. Can you hear me; My circuit has gone. Oh drat. I've ran out of electricity........I'm adrift....Tell the disconnected I love them very much you know....................Please contact Gordon Brown to tell him that I can't afford an enema from all the food I have had to scrounge that has bunged me up. Please also add that he is the only man I know that can have an enema and still be full of shit.....light is flickering now......Hope there is enough left to send this...............................

What are tradesmen? Are they those minions we throw leftover cake to? * ducking the flames to follow this*

I love the way you managed to cram in your boat, classic car and land rover into two paragraphs Given the amount of post that goes astray in my area, I can now print your post out and wave it in the face of customer services. They don't even provide parking spaces for my imaginary Porche to park directly in front of the apologetic little hovels that I have to venture into to complain to customer services. Now I see why Post offices are closing nationwide. They have overpaid posties!

I'm in entire agreement with you Warrior. Where I might disagree with you is on a minor point. Normal life is the smiling and waving. Dissociated people don't smile and wave. OMG I am becoming a canal snob *waving and smiling at ya*

Knowing absolutely nothing about engines, I would not think that yours is a sign of snobbery. The knobs on top of the engine are not co-ordinated in shape. I would have given a verdigris finish to the green on the pipes. Of course this is just my humble snobby opinion on the aesthetics of an engine

Makes me angry reading this. A civilized society and civilized people show respect for elderly people. Disgusting arrogant twats! Grrrr

I think you cracked it Chickadee. Take everyone as you find them. I for one would never submit to having a tattoo but I do like some of the artwork on skin. Heavily tattood people to me, give me a first response of bohemian. I rather like bohemians so I am more likely to be friendly towards them. Tattoos are a statement and I can also understand why they might repel those who are more conservative. You were very tolerant at only swearing in front of the children. I'd have more than likely sworn at them for not assisting with the locks ROFLMAO I think Chris deserves at least 50 lashes with a wet noodle for that!

LOL Well I for one don't want to get out more on the Channel in a narrowboat. I am very happy to read the adventures of those who do push narrowboating to its limits though. I guess I'm a sucker for dogs, eccentrics and accounts of their personalities and adventures. I certainly don't judge anyone on the basis of having enjoyed any book as being an indoors type or an outdoors type though I probably should get out more. I do read a lot Ah but your old bucket makes them feel so good about their slightly newer buckets. I'll bet you have problems finding an exclusive mooring spot without being crowded by posh boats. Hyancinth Bucket is currently trying to locate your boat and will stalk you when she locates it

Hi Byeckerslike, Although I don't agree with everything you observed, I found your observations a hoot. They reminded me of Jilly Cooper's book on Class which I read way longer back than I care to remember. I have also observed snobbery on the canals. It takes all sorts. I find boating life on the canals to be very British. In this current politically correct climate we have to endure, I am anticipating a barrage of replies calling me racist in daring to declare something British . I will deal with them as they arrive. I love the Britishness of canal life. I am not a live aboard so I will experience boating differently to those who are. I don't know one engine from another. I just observe some boats passing that sound different. Some have hatches open to show off highly polished brass in the middle of the boat and I ponder to myself...............I wonder if he keeps the loo as clean as that? I have issues about your comments on those you describe as the great unwashed but shall deal with this in a seperate post. I hate the software that Canal World is using which is why I seldom bother to log in here. I like to see the original post in front of me when I reply. This software is so unuser friendly that I prefer the primitive interface on Facebook. At least I can have the poster's post visible there. Anyway Thanks for the belly laughs Bikers like. I enjoyed your take on it all.

It is true that I haven't read any of your other posts. I haven't logged in here for a long while. You are perfectly entitled to find Narrowdog rubbish as I am perfectly entitled to have fallen for the daft mutt and adorably daft owners of the mutt and their adventures. I guess it is different strokes for different folks, and that ever vanishing common sensical phrase of "live and let live" still applies in my philosophy of life. I very much doubt that you and I shall ever share a pint on either of our respective narrowboats but happy boating nonetheless Carlt

On the contrary Carlt, I think it displays someone who has observed and condensed snobbery into something that is the funniest read I've had since reading 'Narrow Dog of Carcassone. I think your post displays a lack of a sense of humour and an inability to detect satire.

>>The record for stupidity was flooding and nearly sinking a brand new boat on the second lock after picking up a brand new boat!<< Please share how you managed to do that. I just can't figure that out at all. Thanks Heather Thanks for all responses. Well we finally got booked up with Willow Wren in July. Will post back as to how it went. Heather

Hi, If you like scrambled eggs, then the microwave is perfect for these. Mix eggs, some milk, knob of butter and salt and pepper in a pyrex bowl or cereal bowl. Do not leave this unattended and cook on half power if possible. Stir frequently. You can even add bacon. Cook bacon seperately on plenty of kitchen towels on full power. You can cover with parchment paper to avoid splattering. Only takes a few mins and works better with streaky bacon. If you post again mentioning the type of food you like to eat, I can provide you with more ideas. happy boating Heather

Hi Again, Can anyone explain this to me? I've been reading on forums and blogs and a few things have popped up that I don't understand. The first one is: 'On the positive side the locks worked well and the paddle gear was mostly well serviced... but don't try to moor anywhere where there is no sheet-piling... and even then be careful.' My question is: What are the possible consequences of mooring where there is no sheet piling? Second question is: 'When we came back to the boat we found the pound had been lowered and we were hung up on the ledge.' What is a pound other than 100p : Thanks Heather

>>>Another alternative is to pop along to your local boat club and see if they have any members who like to do a bit of instruction, you might not get a certificate to wave about but the experience might be just as worthwhile! <<<< Thanks. I never thought about a boat club. Don't know if there is one in Warwickshire? Having decided upon doing a course, I find they are booked solid right through until September. Will keep trying though. Best wishes Heather