Tony1

I counsel caution, good sir. If you spend too much time perusing this forum you may develop an inexplicable fear of blue signs- for which medical science has a name (oldcodgeropathy), but currently has no cure. Luckily for you, my services as a source of all boating knowledge are available, and at very low cost. No issue is too obscure- I have an opinion on every subject, from ducks to diesel engines. Delay not, sir. Let us have at it.

That sentence should strike terror into the hearts of Thames boaters. I have heard several examples of when a campervan driver entered a car park, but left within a few minutes as they were unable to find a suitable/spacious spot. The camera had recorded their entry, however, and they were then sent a demand for payment of the 'minimum stay' parking fee (a few pounds), plus a penalty fee. The fee was disputed, but eventually the driver folded and paid up, worried that if they had persisted it could have risen to several hundred (with court costs etc), and involved bailiffs attending their house. So it seems that simply driving into some car parks can require a payment, even if you don't park there. If these sorts of scumbags ever move into mooring enforcement, everyone should worry.

I eat tinned stuff at least twice a week, and I've tried numerous brands- and I think Princes is really poor stuff, in general. I still keep one of their chicken curry pies as an emergency option, but they contain very little actual meat. The meatballs I tried were dreadful- both the sauce and the 'meat'. After trying 3 or 4 of their products over the last few years I've mostly abandoned the brand as being basically inedible garbage, but being sold at similar prices to far better products. I've learned the hard way about some awful brands that lurk on the shelves of supermarkets. Bramwells is one that has consistently disappointed, although arguably Princes is even worse. I personally believe these sorts of manufacturers use the lowest quality animal parts that can still be legally labelled as meat (and the other ingredients are not much better)- and it appears that they don't even bother to try and hide the awful taste with a half-decent sauce. These have become (mostly) the foods of poverty, ignorance and desperation, and should not be trifled with by those who are still fortunate enough to have an alternative.

It was not my intention to accurately quote anybody's 'razor', but rather to convey the gist of an idea. I was fully aware that 'stupidity' was within one of the original versions of this sentiment, but I felt that 'stupidity' was too strong a word to apply to a clerical error made by a person that I don't know, and who clearly hasn't made very many of these errors (or so it would appear). Sadly I don't have the sightings tab available, but whilst it was working I took the precaution of taking screenshots of all of my sightings, just in case CRT decided that it was no longer 'helpful' to display this information.

They can get into surprisingly small gaps- I left a bag of rubbish in the cratch overnight instead of taking it up to the bins, and it was gnawed through and spilled by the rats- and there was a single loose button fastener on the cratch cover. I saw them swim away and jump into a GRP boat moored behind me one night when I scared them off the bank, and there were many nights I saw them hanging about the place or running along the roofs of nearby boats. I have a feeling they dont want to set up home the way mice do, so they probably wont stay around (although I think they had made a home in that GRP boat). But my plan was just not to let them in at all. I covered all potential entry holes, but I wouldn't be surprised if they can even get in through mushroom vents. On the plus side, you never hear people talking about having rats aboard, so it seems they just visit and then bugger off.

Just a heads up in case you've not been there, but as an example- Chester basin is infested with rats, so don't leave doors ajar at night if you stop there. I'm sure the same is true for mooring in most towns.

Never ascribe to malice that which can be explained by error... It'll be a mistake by the checker. It's the one sighting on my list that I know wasn't me. If it really was a boat using a false license plate, there would be lots more of it on my sightings page.

If I know we're getting a bad heatwave and it'll be glaring sun all day long, I will always head for shade. I've been in a few places where there are just a few 'straggly' trees, or the shaded mooring spots are taken. So you might have to travel a bit- or do a few locks- to reach proper shade, but it's worth it. Ideally I'll look for a place where the trees overhang on both sides, and failing that I'll aim for a spot where the boat is at least shaded for the afternoon, when the heat really starts to build. But ultimately, even a few hours of shade is better than nothing. I'm happy to abandon most of the solar power for a few days to stay a bit more comfortable. I tried cutting up a white bed sheet into window-sized pieces, and I hang them over the windows using button magnets. Looks awful but it seems to work ok. Mine are hopper windows, so I can also take them out to allow more air movement, if there is any to be had. Also fans- at least one powerful fan, and maybe two, will be a real help. I tried rechargeable fans originally, but they aren't really that powerful, so I ended up with a 240v model.

That brings back memories- I went through March about a week after I got my boat in 2020. I remember thinking it was a really nice little town, but didn't stay long as I was on a long trip up to the Northwest. I'm not looking for a mooring, but just out of interest, do you know roughly how much they are asking for that mooring spot in March?

Yep, I found out the hard way that coal bags on the roof will damage the paint, if you don't have some sort of thick protective sheet in place.

I had a look at my sightings yesterday, and was amused to learn that my boat was spotted near Nantwich and also halfway along the L+L, on the same day last year. Even the Haggises can't do that sort of speed.

I have several pairs on order anyway, they will be mandatory for lithium battery owners next year.

Ah. Oh I seeeee..... Even though I'm straight, I'd say that a gay male wife would be preferable to female tea drinking wife, if my back was to the wall. Which it would be for a lot of the time.

To be honest, I can't stand tea. I can only drink coffee. So I don't think a spouse attracted by this method would be in any way compatible. It's not that I don't trust tea drinkers, obviously. I'm not tea-ist. I just wish they'd do it in private. I wouldn't rule out a relationship with a tea drinker who converted to coffee, but I feel it would be a rocky road....

Alas, I am in such a poor state that the teapot would have to be filled with military-grade hallucinogenic drugs for this idea to work. There are also some H+S concerns, i.e. as soon as the drug wore off I would be beaten to a pulp by the female boater. In an ideal world I would prefer to survive the encounter.

Yep, got the clipboard ready- just need the wife. I have considered using the approach of Papa Lazarou to acquire a boat wife, but I dont think it would work on female boaters.

I would like a diesel stove as it would remove the need for coal (and all the resulting dust), but for me personally, the price of them is so high that its not really worth making the change.

It might be quite romantic to sleep on top of a pile of coal under the stars etc, but with those boats its mandatory to wear a waistcoat, neckerchief, and boatman's cap from the 1930s, and I'm allergic to cosplay.

What a man (or Morlock) does with his goose grease is his own affair, but I will not have it stuck in my face (or anywhere else). My first reaction was disgust, but if Putin invades anyone else this winter then I might have to stop using the stove and buy a big tub of goose grease.

What insulating goose grease?? I fear this may be straying into some sort of ungodly sexual practices. This may not be the forum for this sort of thing ma'am.

Fill the shower with coal?? Pass me the smelling salts Mabel, for I fear I may faint with horror.... I'm not au fait with the showering habits of Morlocks, but the idea of the shower being out of action for 5 months is verging on savagery. (Besides, its already full of baggage and spare bedding)

I agree with this, which is why I keep 10 bags on the roof at most, and I find that a monthly fuel boat trip is usually enough to replenish in good time. Although there is the risk of a bad winter and icing up for a week or two, so I try to keep another 3 or 4 bags in the cratch. If I recall correctly, the benefit of the chap buying 25 or more bags in one go is that he gets a much cheaper price per bag, but he has to accept the lot in one delivery. Also, this chap will not be on the route of any fuel boats.

I remember the days when a wife would run efficiently on as little as a litre of vodka per month, but I've heard that some of the modern models are far less efficient, requiring large quantities of much more exotic and expensive fuels. (PS- no offence is intended to any wives who happen to read this poor attempt at a joke)

I like the plan, but I'm wondering if my wife might be persuaded to conduct the rocking tests whilst I stand on the bank recording the results with a clipboard. One slight snag is that I don't currently have a wife, but given my immense charm and good looks, that should be solvable. How much does it cost to insure a wife these days?

Joking aside though, for all I know 25 bags might be fine- but my winter cruising will involve a few locks (maybe more than a few), and the boat can get moved around quite strongly at times. Hopefully we'll get some well-informed info about it, but I do have an instinctive worry about putting more than 250-300kgs on the roof...