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  1. This little wheeze is for folk who, don't know, want to know, don't believe or have been told porky pies concerning the width of there vessel. So here is a very simple, cheap and cheerful way of making a home made boats beam measuring device, without all the expense of fancy electronics or by shooting things like Laser beans all around and about. The GIANT calliper gauge. All that's required to knock up your GIANT calliper gauge is as follows;- Three lengths of wood of about 4X1/2'',one bit about 7'6'' long and two bits about 6' long. 4 4'' nails, 2 G clamps and one hammer. Nail the two 6' long bits of wood end on to each end of the 7'6'' cross beam with one nail each so that they pivot, bang em in hard and bend em over on the back so as to make the pivoting action nice and stiff. Bang a nail right through each lower end of the 6' long bits so that the nail points face each other. these are the all important measuring points. To use your home made GIANT calliper gauge its best to have a bit of help as obviously the calliper is a bit unwealdly due to its necessary size. For those who are unpopular and have no mates in this world need not panic, its still quite easy to perform the measurement on your tod with a little thought, intrepidness, sensibility and your are reasonably fit with a good sense of balance, it should not be a problem. Ok, so with the two G-clamps at the ready held by your mouth, grasp with both hands your calliper gauge and step up onto your cabin roof and stand legs akimbo roughly in the middle with the callipers cross beam resting on your shoulders behind your head like a Dutch milkmaid. Grasp with both hands the side measuring bits that hang down and pull them towards you, bringing the two nails into perfect light contact with your gunwales. Now comes the tricky bit. Gently raise the calliper off the gunwales without shifting the devices pivots which being stiff should stay put. Lay it down on the roof or towpath and bung a G-clamp on at both pivot points for security in case anyone trips or cycles over your device and goes upsets the measurement which will cause you to do it all again. Now all there is to do now is to with a tape measure measure between the two nail points and you will be bestowed with and accurate measurement of your boats beam and can defy anyone who thinks its otherwise.. To measure a hysterical open working type boat or tug where a cabins not in the way you can either stand on the holds floor or again legs akimbo stand by placing a foot on each gunwale to execute the measurement. Also if your boat has two opposite side doors you can perform with a little manipulating of the gauge the measurement in the dry, if it happens to be raining, or out of the sun if you get sunstroke easily. When measurement is completed bang a load more nails in to retain and save the measurement for future reference and proof of width. That's it folks.
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