KiwiBill

Day 4: Birchills, Watling St, Anglesey, Catshill. A relaxed easy six hours. Escaped by the skin of my teeth from the Cannock Extension debacle. I could have been north of of Watling St. That would probably have meant eternity trapped in the virtual northern reaches of BCN. After four days of the Challenge I am finally finding the time to read the rules, learn from others and become accustomed to the virtual technology. One of the significant differences, for me, between a virtual and a real challenge is the reduced calorie intake necessary. The two pics below show Morning Tea and Lunch on a previous challenge with Nicki and John. On this trip all I have to do is take a quick glance and I am satiated. And I am not sitting steaming in full wet-weather gear. But mentally it has been extremely demanding. I am missing my nurse who knows, to the drop, my essential dosage of medicinal alcohol. I have become accustomed to having a minder and nurse around to find my marbles when I lose them. I remember the days when you could buy them from a bin in Woolworths. Replacement marbles are hard to come by now. Perhaps I could use all this modern gear to locate a Woolworths near 1950s Bradley Workshops. I could then pop out and get a handful of new ones. Even better, I am sure that somewhere in the region, at some time, there has been a major marble manufactory. And I could maybe go back and get a few thousand gross for a pittance. I am starting to enjoy this more, now that I am spending more of my valuable time reading teams' logs. Slocum took two years on his challenge. I would love to have on board a minder, nurse, helmsman, navigator, cook, librarian, quizmaster, historian, engineer and tech wizard. I left a Covid-19 Bubble of three in New Zealand for this Virtual Bubble of one. Crouched in my small virtual command module, I would like to be able to participate more in in the detail of all the required activities. I have become completely entranced by the White Witch of Chesterfield. I am completely under her spell. Do not rescue me! Morning Tea. Now there's a butty! And there's a plate of bacon & eggs! A large portion of chips is hidden by a giant serving of bacon. The happy chappy is Captain/Mate/Cook John.

Day 3: Bentley to Wednesbury Junction. Moored at Birchills Jn. Starting to catch up with other logs.

Be careful! The BCN crowd are devious. Not evil but to be approached with caution. My daughter married into them. It was actually the wedding of two boats and they have trained me up in the ways of the BCN. I swear they are inventing virtual catastrophes to pile on top of real canal stoppages. Or they change the rules. How can I fight back? A frail little old man trying to do it solo. I don't have time or energy to navigate let alone do challenges. On the second night I swear that, while I was moored up sleeping, some elves (or something) moved my boat. Did not wake me but I had to explain it to the White Witch of Chesterfield (aka Marie-Rose) and submit a revised log. The stewards are still deliberating. The penalty could be burning at the stake, deportation to New Zealand or, hopefully, just a docking of points. My daughter has been a boater between London and Sheffield for 20y and was solo in a boat like yours for 15y. Good Luck. Your withdrawal allows me to come last with honour.

Day 3 : Anson Branch. I am out of here. Not a place to be without navigator and minder. Things can only get better on the Bentley. I have been putting people wrong but I am allowed to because I am 77 and have escaped my minder. I was not on Odana or Black Beauty for Challenge 2014: I was on Poppy with Nicki, John and Allan KeepingUp. Rushall 2014. Ryders was the same. Glad I was forced to miss it yesterday Classic 2014 in Gas St before start Three Quarters of Team Poppy 2014

Make it a double issue of marbles. Initially I thought I was on Odana in 2014. Then I corrected it to Black Beauty. I have now unearthed evidence that it was Poppy. All further confusion will be sorted out by Nicki and John in Hockley Port. The pics with Allan KeepingUp are 2014 in Gas St before the start.

Snap! BCN Challenge 2014 in Poppy. I was quite glad that I did not have to return to Ryders yesterday. In 2014 I did a lot of walking in pouring rain. Ryders and Rushalls. This year at least I will not get wet but I am suffering from severe marble loss. I was hoping to bump into our 2014 Navigator this time. Allan KeepingUp is somewhere. I need you Allen to help me through the network. But still; I have not seen a single other competitor. This solo virtual boating for the elderly is too demanding for me. Tomorrow I need one hour of extra time and a few replacement marbles.

I am moored up in the Anson Branch at the eastern end of Bentley Canal. The Ryders closure has forced me to re-jig my plan and I am begging, like many others I am sure, for help on Day Three from the following sources: The ghosts of boaties and volunteers past to speed me through the locks. The White Witch to give me a bit more time. What will happen if I break the rules? Will she turn my narrowboat into a Floating Gin Palace? I live in terror. Design inspiration tonight to tweak my boat. I hope to squeeze a little more out of it without any effect on the BCN. Bentley Canal tomorrow.

I am looking at my rant of 10h ago and can't for the life of me remember what I was on about. I am embarking on a revised route because of the Ryders closure. That was where I had planned to be today. Maybe next time I will bring a navigator so more navigation can be done on the run. I had planned a quick cup of tea with Nicki & John in Hockley Port but I will be zooming past. I was upset that the bonus 2.5 min for locks yesterday did not affect me because I did not do a single lock all day. Maybe I can play my bonus as a wild card later on.

Strewth! This really is a Challenge. A guy lies down for a bit of a kip in the middle of the day and the rules change. You want to play dirty. She'll be right. That's the way we all are in New Zealand. It's the reading that is hard for us.

I am finding this solitary ethereal existence a bit trying. I wandered up from Gas St Basin to meet with John in the Prince of Wales but everything was deserted. So I had a lonely solitary beer or two and a good bangers and mash. As soon as I saw the facade of the pub it started to come back. Here be Bangers and Mash! Had I been here in 2014 before starting the Challenge at Sandy Turn with Nicki and John in Black Beauty. It all seems so distant and tenuous. Am I in limbo? Is Hell worse than this? Was John's shade sitting with me in the Prince of Wales? I am fortunate to have had John, in a previous existence, as a guide to all things Brummy. He is also my Faggotmeister. Sadly he has performed well below par in this role. His best effort was in Chester and it was a pack of deepfrozen mini-faggots from the local Freezer Warehouse. Very sad.

Safely settled in at Gas Street after my painless Bromford, Hawne, Lapal excursion. John will join me at his pub. I forget the name but know where it is. Tomorrow I am heading for Longford Bridge via Ryders. Very strange day: I did not see a single other boat. But at least it was not raining like it did in 2014.

I am well into the Lapal Tunnel now and the brickwork is sagging alarmingly. I don't think there is much life left in it. But the main problem is that the effects of my virtual flight from NZ are starting to hit me and I am virtually shattered. I am going to go on autopilot for an hour or two and set the alarm for Selley Oak Junction. I knew that the tunnel was having problems which is why I chose this route. I do not even know if the Worcester & Birmingham back to Gas Street is part of BCN. I am not here to score points and, doing it solo, I don't have time to research my route fully. Let alone do a Daily Quiz. Has one been issued on Monday?

A bit brisk at Bromford Junction for the start this morning. But the virtual trip from Auckland was painless compared with the usual long, cramped flight with Emirates and I am well under way. The Fourth is with me and my photo proves it. That is not the sun, not a nuclear fireball. It must be the Fourth.

It must be the Fourth which is driving me on. The halo around my head is not the sun, not a nuclear fireball: It can only be the the Fourth. It was a bit brisk at Bromford Junction this morning.

Odana has returned virtually to Hockley Port! KiwiBill (aka Nicki's Dad) will do a solo BCN Challenge while crouched in front of his computer in New Zealand. He may be a little behind the pack because he has to sift through all the info on the Forum.