Joelsanders

Oh ! For the record, I'm not the boyfriend and I'm never going to Brayford. I'm going to try surrealism in response to sweet Rachel with an A for a while .Feel free to join in. It will be fun and calm things down a bit.

But yes , you do appear to have manipulated me into that role and it's getting tedious. For my own amusement & stimulation, I will now respond to your posts from a surreal perspective,

If it's any use, I'm actually starting to bore myself now. Mumbo jumbo namby pamby Nice title for your first album

It's just what you've told me , Rachel (with an A).

I'm just another mirror to your own tortured, precious soul, sweet Rachel with an 'A.' The day I no longer have things to find / learn / discover will be the day I'm ready to stop living. As for what makes me so sure about your neediness, let's just say that my certainty is stronger than your doubt . Yes, there I go again .... and there you go again. Over & over - day after day.

I keep getting this sense that there is something deeply vulnerable & fragile about you. I don't want to be mean to you..... so I won't be. Gd luck finding whatever you want / need.

Woukd your shrink disagree

Thank you for being so open. I doubt we have met and yet - YES - we absolutely do know each other. I am everyone you have ever met and different aspects of you are there in everyone I have met ... & myself too. In the words of Jimmy Pursey "understand him - he'll understand you ... for you are him and he is you." We are all angry sometimes -and condescending & arrogant. We can all be giving, selfish, smart & dumb too. Our closest friends can become our deepest enemies and we can feel great affection & warmth towards those we once felt hatred towards - often changing our entire belief system about a person in a heart beat. The gentle, kind & loving person is equally capable of being harsh, mean & hateful. That is you, me , your father, all the CRT executives, Max Clifford, those other boaters, all the characters you have referenced in your post - all of us. Just because we see one side of a person , it is easy to assume that is all there is. We all do it and that is because our emotions blind us from seeing the other side. When we feel angry towards someone, we become blinded to their calm & compassionate side. Similarly , if we see someone as being fair , reasonable and open, we will probably be blind to their selfish , unfair and prejudiced side. If you have ever thought someone is "always like that" it just means you haven't looked closely enough. It is a misperception. But, again, we are ALL everything - sometimes. Our experiences with each person dictate which energies come out. When someone offers us things we want or need, we believe that is a good person. If they deny us something important to us, then they are "bad." Or are they? It can be intense. Neither of those perceptions is actually the truth, They are just our judgements based on our experiences, belief systems, values & prejudices. Everyone has a right to be angry. Everyone has a right to every emotion. When you are born , you get the full package. That is what it means to be human. Yes, you can be arrogant, condescending daft & closed. To me, that was how your first post came across. You can also be humble. sensitive intelligent & vulnerable. That is how I find you now. It doesn't mean I am RIGHT in those perceptions though. It is just my silly judgements based on how open or closed you are being towards me. In just 2 posts from you , I have seen 2 completely different sides to you. You might feel the same about my 2 responses to you. When you first posted, I regarded what you wrote as unworthy of a friendly or kind response so I opened fire. Now, it seems this exchange is the complete opposite for us both. Do you agree? I do not want to speak for you though. Your perceptions of me are for you - and they are also your entitlement. Personally, I often react strongly when someone judges a creative endeavour as "rubbish" rather than acknowledge that it is just not for them. That does not mean I am right to do so though. A good chunk of my life has been spent in the arts so its a world I try to support. When I see others disrespecting a world that I love, it comes across to me as something I want to defend . In this instance, not only did I see you as judging something you had not made an effort to try to understand but you also came across as abusive towards me. Consequently, and partly because I was in an irritable mood last night anyway, I decided to behave in a similar way. I quite enjoyed it if I'm honest ... and it felt justified. You gave me an opportunity to be rude & cutting. Yes, sometimes, I enjoy getting to do that too. I try to be accountable for what I say and think . Consequently, I like others to do the same. That is another of my prejudices. I do not like people when they try to avoiding taking responsibility for their actions... Or what they say / write. Again, this has nothing to do with what is right or wrong. It is just something that triggers me & will often cause me to react. When I referred to you being "stuck" , it was a metaphor. I saw you as being stuck in your thinking and I wanted to push your buttons to see what would happen. Sometimes when provoked, we dig in and become even more determined to fight our corner; other times we become more introspective and can maybe start to see things in another way. This time I was not being sarcastic or patronising. I hope you have an awesome day.

A pleasure to encounter such an intellectual heavyweight.... you have opinions and suggestions too? Inspirational,. It's a shame you don't feel the canal system is big enough for the 2 of us though. It's unlikely our parts will cross , however, as you appear to be stuck somewhere and I plan to keep exploring. It's a huge pity I didn't get your message sooner though . You see, I've just been to the theatre and I didn't enjoy what I saw. The themes were abstract and neither the style nor the content interested me. Foolishly, those were my ridiculous thoughts as I left. If I'd only had the benefit of your input in advance I'd have seen things as they really are. Now I understand that not understanding it had nothing to do with me or my limitations at all ! It was just rubbish! Not my problem cos I'm awesome and have an amazing set of judgement skills about everything. Those directors and the cast should go and live with you so that I never run the risk of seeing them again. Best of luck to you and thanks for taking the time to share your wisdom. A genius, I know that what I wrote here will have confused you a bit so, if it helps, I'm being sarcastic and patronising,

I also have a flat which I rent out and the money from that more or less keeps me going I've only been living afloat full time for about 5 years. . I'm still a bit in love with it all tbh . That worries me slightly as I'm fearful about what might happen when / if my infatuation phase passes. I have no regrets though - just slight changes i sometimes want to make regarding water sand waste storage . Unlike a lot of the comments here, I sometimes think a slightly shorter boat would have been better for me - cheaper , easier to moor etc etc. The grass is always greener .

Anyone want to trade a Dutch barge for some anger management sessions? Will settle for a replica . Interesting topic this . Before I clicked on it , I had haggling in mind for some reason -a somewhat different aspect of the trading process. However haggling raises some interesting points about bartering too . How - historically or currently - does one compare the value of one service or product with another?

Thank you for sharing your perception of what I need and how I can achieve it. However, I've already been transparent about my agenda . If you'd care to scroll back , I think you 'll find that my agenda is spelled out very clearly .

I've covered much of this already today. It was your manner in telling me what I can and cannot do that I objected to (not the content) and yes I responded to you in exactly the way you had communicated with me .... which in turn is exactly the same as I have documented in my encounters with others. That is the point. I wrote to you privately about this but you did not respond. If you want to post my unedited comment to you, you have my blessing to do so, I have to head out but will respond properly later.

No, I think we have a misunderstanding here. I was clearly and very specifically told that it was ok to post about my blog and then later - after the objections came in - told it wasn't .

It is , of course, only a hypothetical concern that everyone with a blog would announce their posts if one person was allowed to. This is not intended to sound at all arrogant (if you do not like / understand what I am dong it will probably seem that way though ) BUT I am aware that the angry boater blog is very unusual and taps into aspects of the human condition that go way beyond boating issues. That knowledge gives me a confidence and certainty that i would not have if I was offering a more traditional narrative with photos etc. Most people are interested in this "stuff of life" as it centres around the essence of what it is to be human. That is important and interesting to most people .... and difficult for others. It excites me to share what I know / think / believe with like minded people, especially other boaters. The belief - misguided as some of you may think it is - that I have something worthwhile to say that might be useful to others at a deep human level motivates me to push this in any way I can. I understand that people who tap into my way of thinking will really value this and that those who do not get it may find it infuriating. That's how life works though and I'm happy to take the slaps with the hugs . If I was presenting a more traditional viewpoint , i don't imagine I would feel so compelled as to put this amount of time into getting it out there. I wouldn't feel inspired enough or , for that matter, confident enough.

The same argument would stand though. Why shouldn't every blogger post their unedited blog posts here too?

March 6th. 3.02 pm. The message was not from you - but from another admin . I simply received advice from one of the team that was incongruent with the forum's rules. It was obviously a mistake - albeit one that caused me some embarrassment. On the other hand, it also brought my blog a lot of unexpected attention. I absolutely do not want to embarrass the admin who advised me as they did ... which is why I deliberately haven't named them . However, I also wanted to make the point that I was not acting as a total maverick (at least on this occasion). If you feel it's really that important, message me privately and I'll forward the specifics,

It's a great sound bite so thanks for quoting it. Unfortunately, when read in context, it's not as contentious as it appears to be. However I'm curious - for you - why selfish thoughts / desires are synonymous with showing a lack of respect to the rules or other boaters ? I can understand that it would be utterly disrespectful if i actually did hijack my own water point or stay at your favourite patch for 6 months but can you not differentiate between selfish desires and actual behaviours? If not, you are presumably saying that every single time a selfish thought crosses your mind, you feel that you are being disrespectful ? Or are you claiming that you are incapable of feeling that - sometimes - you want to put your own needs above others?

Thanks Matt... and, if not reading what I write isn't hardcore enough, I noticed there is a settings option on the forum where you can opt to have anyone's posts "ignored". Who's first? http://www.canalworld.net/forums/index.php?app=core&module=usercp&tab=core&area=ignoredusers

Those of us who do not like your work are not intolerant or naysayers as we have been referred to as (not by you I should add) we just don't like it. We should be allowed to express that without feeling we are committing some sort of faux pas. (1) But we're all intolerant sometimes. Don't you think? (2) You are allowed to express the fact that you do not like something without feeling you are committing some kind of faux pas. I am genuinely surprised that you feel that this basic right of yours is not being respected. That's not my perception st all. However, if I open myself to criticism from people who do not like what I post , why would you be exempt from criticism from people who do not like your comments about my post ? What's the difference?

I felt that too and experienced some self pity & anger when I felt I was being misjudged. On the other hand , by being made to appear more contentious than I was, more people have found this thread and seen the blog. The egocentric side of me will take that over ambivalence or anonymity any day. Bad news. I'm starting to warm to you, I was just thinking the same. No such thing as bad publicity etc Thanks. The lock one wasn't my favourite tbh. It could probably have done with another edit before I put it out there.

Thanks! A perception that I was here to plug my blog and not contribute in any other way may have been a factor. I see it as a testament to how strongly such members value this forum that they would want to protect its etiquette and style. It's very rare that anyone acts with malice unless they feel there is a reason to. Good morning Rachael. What would life be like without its little mysteries? (It's rhetorical. Don't feel obliged to focus your mind on that one ). Glad to see the laptop survived , after all.

Thank you very much. See you there ... and here