Wow, can't believe it has come to this. I was talkng to hubs about the boat going up for sale. We have put so much into making her our home, and now we are going to have to say good bye. Mick said he has come to terms with it so the emotional attachement is not there as it is with me. I feel very numb at the moment, the thought of having to give her up to someone.

I feel a deep attachement at the moment, so it willbe something I have to come to terms with and start detaching myself a little. We finished restaning the wood surround ont he cratch cover at the weekend, and most of the touch up aintwork (the splat around the sploosh name) is also now done, so it is just a tiny bit aorund the gas locker now.

The interior is sound, and we have a book an inch thick with everything that has ever happened to her. I really hope someone loves her as much as we did. We went out in her for an afternoon last weekend it was gorgeous, I so miss those trips we made to our next stop off, water hole, pump out, they all meant a trip out and peace and enjoying the water.

Still, life waits for no-one and moving back to dry land has helped the kids and Mick to settle down and be less hassled and doing less. The kids get to walk to school now and Mick gets 2,000 less things to do in between picking me o rthe kids up, and we have halved the petrol costs, so some things have impoved.

Not having the water view is sad though. One of the boat oners said to us, 'gutted mate, wo will be our neighbours this summer now?', as we used to bump into the same folks regularly and it was lovely spending those gorgeous summer evenings in the bow with a bottle of wine. I really will miss those nightss.

But I will get through that. I can always go back to it once the kids are older et.

Dad is OK ish. He is still fighting to get home. Off all his tubes and stuff now, on a normal ward, but having trouble tolerating a full stomach tube feed at the moment, which is really bad as this is the one thing that will get him home. The cancer is in his blood and quite agressive but he's not in pain yet.

He is in total denial about the cancer. He has an infected lymph node according to what he says nothing else, and once it is better he will be fine. Well, quite frankly if he says it, that's what it is as I don't think handling your own demise is the top of anyone's list, and I can't imagine his thoghts right now espeically since he has all day to contemplate the world.

I just wish he didn't have to go through it. I don't even want to think about life without my father in the world. It's too much to take in, so it is easier not to.

I just hope he gets home so at least he can be with his family when he needs it, all day, until such times comes.

Other than that, work is completely mad, there are no hours left over, and people are going left right and centre with all this economic down turn. I had organised a red nose day fancy dress day at work to cheer us all up, but not we have an annoucement of more redundancies no-one feels like celebrating anymore.

Not the most cheerful of blog entries I'm afraid ,sorry about that.