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About this blog

a narrowboat in a white bikini

Entries in this blog

farty

I came back from a weekend away, stepped on board to unlock the doors and the action of me tipping the boat a bit to one side allowed one "cheek" to come up a bit and release a whole barrage of bubbles from the nether regions. It rather amused me, though I am a fan of toilet humour.   the other fun stuff this week is that I accidentally bought a new motorbike. I was just bidding away on ebay, you know how it is, drop in a silly bid occasionally and try your luck at getting something for not
honey ryder

honey ryder

9

Giz a Job

Before life on board the good ship ( read: metal tube) Honey Ryder, my day consisted of, drag myself out of my flea pit at around 9.50am, splash some water on my face, have some breakfast and then hop on my pushbike and arrive at work at 10am. My work happens to be my "dream" job of working on a motorbike magazine. It doesn't pay well, but the perks stack up high. This is what is often called Golden Handcuffs and I've been wearing them for nearly seven years.   yes, life wasn't at all bad back
honey ryder

honey ryder

7

lucky escape

this is anecdotal and I dont have eyewitness levels of accuracy about this next entry but stick with it...   It was Sunday, I was expecting some friends on a boat who I met last year on the river Lee, they are a lovely couple and perhaps the only real boaty friends Ive made apart from the french yaching couple I met in Limehouse basin over the winter.   Anyway, this couple, I shall call them Mr n Ms Axe. They are heading up to a dry dock somewhere past Watford, so planned to meet up with me
honey ryder

honey ryder

6

She's back!

So she's back folks! the Honey Ryder story ended in August 2009.   the new life, the new boat search commenced in July, just before I said ta ta to the floating caravan cigar box (aherm narrowboat)   what started as an adventure turned into a saga and a whole new world of material, er materialised as the saga unfolded and is being added to the next book. The Honey Ryder blog is currently being turned into a novel (semi fiction)   I travelled to Poole, Ipswich, Burnham on Crouch, Brighto
honey ryder

honey ryder

5

literary genius in the making

Narrowboating might be the death of me if I don't sell it soon.   Ok, so it's not actually for sale at the moment but it will be. I've had enough of this "living the dream", "life on the cut", "river gypsy lifestyle", and several other clichés.   Narrowboating, it's definitely not cricket. it's definitely not boating, it is definitely narrow though so I will give it that.   Im currently thinking of titles for my book, Ive searched and searched and I still cant find a book about the subje
honey ryder

honey ryder

5

the TO DO list

once again it was time to move on, having spent two weeks at Victoria park in London we needed to move to a new mooring spot.   Living on a boat is never dull and rarely boring, there is always something to be done. Whether that is something you actually want to be doing is another matter. Quick frankly, I was all up for a nice cosy weekend of cooking, faffing and sifting. Downsizing my stuff once again, because you can never have too few things. Minimalist is going to be my middle name. Ho
honey ryder

honey ryder

5

Its 57' long and 6'10" wide, its HONEY RYDER

It was a summer of discontentment. so a plan was formed. ----= As I was being wheeled down the creamy walled hospital corridor into the operating theatre, the large cuddly nurse at my side was asking all the kinds of questions possible to calm a slightly agitated, perfectly healthy patient. Attempting but not succeeding too well at the "hairdressers distraction technique" she didn't quite manage to take my mind off the me the fact I was wearing a backless gown, paper knickers and someone wo
honey ryder

honey ryder

4

Just like marmite?

finally me and the man agree on something, we are definitely selling the Honey Ryder next year. Well, I say selling, I mean trying to sell it next spring time ish.   First we have work to complete on the exterior paint, and an engine service or two to complete before then, plus fitting a new solid oak kitchen floor, renovate the kitchen and spruce up the showerroom.   That's where the agreement ends though. we need to complete the work, sell the boat and find a new living arrangement.  
honey ryder

honey ryder

4

Sofa bed 0 - Reclining chair 1

I whipped out the sofa bed and replaced it with a chair, but now Im looking for something else to sit on, has anyone ever seen those moroccan floor cushion things that roll up into a chair or roll out flat to be a bed?   Ive looked everywhere for them and can I eck as like find any anywhere.
honey ryder

honey ryder

4

the best laid plans....

SO here we go, its t-minus "lets get the fek outta here" 5 minutes to freedom....   im up early, im fresh and clean and ready to go, the preparations have taken us 3 months, ok we're lazy buggers and it could have been done in a couple of weeks but hey c'mon this narrowboating.   -Bottom painted, check   -engine serviced,check   -boiler fixed... er, kindof but no... we still have a small leak,... it'll be rate.   -all tanks full with fuel and water,check   -are we wearing sunglass
honey ryder

honey ryder

4

the sound of silence and extra ballast

Dear readers out there, you may have read about my crime ridden 2007, having a push-bike stolen off the roof of the boat last april was the start of it, followed by having another push-bike stolen from where I work.   followed by, and not necessarily in the right order: having my car broken into at Tottenham, having a friends car broken into next to mine at Cheshunt, watching kids rifling through a stolen handbag and reporting it to not very interested police, my flat was burgled in Croydon,
honey ryder

honey ryder

4

life doesn't get better than this?

A change is as good as a rest, or something like that. I've been trying to answer all my own questions of how I'd like my life to be, where I want to live, how I want to live, love and be loved. It's quite a hard thing to do, as each time you think you've answered question another two pop up.   It's like my to do list, it never gets shorter, it just changes with the times.   I've been reading Bones blog with interest recently as she's been on her holidays and visiting lots of other boat
honey ryder

honey ryder

3

cookin' on gas! Sausage n' Mash

At last! After two fairly busy days of gas pipe cutting and faffing we finally got our gas system gas tight thanks to our new bubble tester.   After 6 trips to the chandlery for this and that and a small piece of 1/2 inch pipe I finally cooked our first meal on the boats cooker ( not the camping gas or log burning stove). Not exactly a culinary masterpiece, but sausage and mash was a tasty first hot meal for sure.   now I need to call the man again for the boat safety and hopefully, finger
honey ryder

honey ryder

3

the brighter side to life

It seems the media is a worry wart, doom and gloom surround us. What is there worth getting up for when all around us the bank are losing our money, the companies we work for are ditching us to stay in business, our savings gather no interest, pensions are worthless and house prices are falling through the floor... yada yada yada..   well, quite frankly, I don't pay any mind to this endless attack on my sensibilities. Ive got far better things to think about, Im a positive thinker, a survivor
honey ryder

honey ryder

3

double yellows

I never thought I would see the day when the river has a "no parking yellow line" painted on the side.   until I got home my impression was that the bend with the yellow line painted on the pilings was so people could see the bend more easily. In fact I got home last night to find a message taped to my door telling me to move my boat.   There is nothing at the side of the river saying I can't moor there, no written sign I mean... so I was quite surprised to see the message on my boat.  
honey ryder

honey ryder

3

The Victoria park posse

Life in London, moored on a busy towpath is never short of activity, gossip and curiosity. Not to mention unruly dogs and children.   This week, life in the nut house involved several events of note, hardly note-worthy on their own, but as a group, collectively they turn from curious to just plain odd.   So it all started on the Saturday morning when both myself and the Man set about a bit of bike fettling, the man was outside tightening up his bottom bracket (fnar) and I was inside struggli
honey ryder

honey ryder

3

solo cruising

I finally decided to move the boat, and as mr grumpy is busy un-grumping himself on holiday with a friend, this left the job to me and a friend who promised she would come and give me a hand. After hearing nothing from my friend and the time already being 10am and armed with the knowledge she was wining and dining and you know whatting the night before I decided it could easily be afternoon before she surfaced, I figured I may as well just head off solo and see how I went once I got to the first
honey ryder

honey ryder

2

stick me on a 40 wash and be done with it

A turbulent weekend just passed by in a blur, so im going to do a slo-mo action replay to see if I can see exactly where my time went. Saturday, I woke up to the sound of rain and pulled the duvet over my head to try and get 5 more minutes. A busy day lay ahead and I already had a grumpy boyfriend to contend with. He's pissed off that he hardly sees me during the week and he thought once he got me out of my shared flat and into the boat we would have more time to do stuff together. WRONG! I ha
honey ryder

honey ryder

2

the idiots guide to hull servicing

Ive searched the world wide web for information on what you are supposed to do with narrowboats when they need their bottom looking at.   i came up with a wealth of hit and miss information, so ive decided to do a "how to" of my own for the benefit of all those "new to steel boats" out there. ive got plenty of ideas on what to do if it was a plastic boat, its so simple i could do it with one arm behind my back.   steel hulls, especially ones that have been a bit neglected are entirely an
honey ryder

honey ryder

2

Hell in a handbasket

What is happening to me? Am I in an alternative dimension or something?   I woke up this morning as I usually do on a wednesday by my bank text messaging me a summary of the weeks statement on my account... I spy an odd number and an unusually low bank account, whats this? I nip onto my internet banking only to find to my horror that someone is withdrawing money from my bank account, somewhere in Italy or Spain with a clone of my bank card.   So far around 700 euros... yes we arent talking
honey ryder

honey ryder

2

could be worse...

just when I think I'm having a miserable time on the canals, I am always reminded that in fact some people have it far worse.     still doesn't stop the really funny young people who knocked on my boat at 6.50am this morning, just because they thought it would be funny to wake us up. The man was just ready to leave for work so they got a suprise when he popped his head out of the doorway asking if he could help them. Stuck for anything interesting to say, they wished him happy new year.
honey ryder

honey ryder

2

welcome to the zoo

I am fed up of being treated like a freak show, I think I shall put a message for all to read upon my roof ( apart from a for sale sign that is)     If you want to have your picture taken on someone's boat, first make friends with the owner. Don't just climb on while Im having my breakfast and let you mate snap away from the towpath. Cheeky bastard.   If you want to have a look around my boat, my home, then get to know me first and wait to be invited. Don't peer through the windows and
honey ryder

honey ryder

2

feeling a bit tan-tastic

Ive got my new dinghy! hurray.   I arrived in Cornwall at 4.30pm (after first driving to stansted airport and then to croydon and then back to harefield) to collect my new dinghy. Its a smart little thing, called a Minipram, it was made in the 70's for the lady i bought it from. She gave me home made cake and chocolate chip biscuits and a drink of fruity squash. With the dinghy and launching trolley strapped to the roof of my car and my wallet £100 lighter i was on my way again. Now if only a
honey ryder

honey ryder

2

french flipper

Ive been away to france again recently and in between visiting family and friends and a bohemouth french wedding party I visited a splendid little island south of Brittany. Belle I'le   its got a few little harbours and it brought back my hunger to be on the sea again, to feel the salt air making my skin feel all tight and to feel the motion of the gentle swells as Im anchored up with plink plopping as the water slaps the bow. Oh how I miss this sensation.     Canals are lovely, calm ser
honey ryder

honey ryder

2

A life Extraordinare

fail to prepare, prepare to fail.   yet I had prepared so much, I couldnt possibly think of failure. failure was not an option.   it was all booked, a merry go round of people, flights, cars, car hire, marinas and phrase books.   My boat, Varekai, a rather saltier version than my previous narrowboat Honey Ryder, was based in Gibraltar and I wanted to bring it to the UK, to the River Crouch to be more precise. A quick look on google maps will tell you that its not just around the cor
honey ryder

honey ryder

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