Jump to content

boat related humour - share your boating jokes


sailor mcgee

Featured Posts

24 minutes ago, Alan de Enfield said:

So you are CDO

 

Like COD but better because all of the letters are 'where they should be' (in order).

 

22 minutes ago, NB Lola said:

Now that’s funny, alas not about boats though.  Try harder!!

 

But it is about fish though! A ray of hope? Or a load of carp?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

A sailor and a pirate are in a bar recounting their adventures at sea. Seeing the pirate’s peg-leg, hook, and eye patch the sailor asks: “So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?”

The pirate replies: “We were caught in a huge storm and a giant wave swept me overboard. Just as me crew were pullin’ me out a school of sharks appeared and one of ’em bit me leg off.”

“Blimey!” said the sailor . “And how’d you get the hook?”

“Arrrr…”, mused the old salt, “I got into a fight over a woman in a bar, and me hand got chopped off.”

“Blimey!” remarked the sailor. “And how about the eye patch?”

“Oh that,” said the pirate, looking embarrassed. A seagull droppin’ fell into me eye.”

“You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?” the questioner asked incredulously.

 

“Well…” said the old sea dog, ” it was me first day with the hook.”

 


 
  • Greenie 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

so disappointing that a mod's wishes are being ignored or at the best circumvented.  we should respect these appointed authoritarian gentle-persons, they are unpaid volunteers and should not have the piss taken out of them.   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

.............................   coat  :boat: 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

5 minutes ago, Murflynn said:

so disappointing that a mod's wishes are being ignored or at the best circumvented.  we should respect these appointed authoritarian gentle-persons, they are unpaid volunteers and should not have the piss taken out of them.   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

.............................   coat  :boat: 

??

Link to comment
Share on other sites

7 minutes ago, Murflynn said:

so disappointing that a mod's wishes are being ignored or at the best circumvented.  we should respect these appointed authoritarian gentle-persons, they are unpaid volunteers and should not have the piss taken out of them.   

 

ANOTHER non-boating joke.

 

You'll get yourself a Warning Point like I did!

 

Actually, which posting rule is being broken? 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 blonde girls are on an island and they are much to far away from land to swim, they find a genie on the island who offers them each 1 wish, the first girl says “I wish I was smart enough to get off this island” so the genie makes her a redheaded girl, she cuts down a tree, makes it into a boat, and proceeds to row off the island. The next girl says “I wish I was even smarter then her so I don’t have to do so much manual labour” so she turns into a brunet and makes a sail boat and lets the wind take her off the island. The final girl says “I wish I was smarter than both of them!” So she turns into a man and takes the bridge.

Edited by Flyboy
Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, Greyladyx said:

Did you make her?

 

 

Your very random ?

 

 

Not judging I can be too.x

 

 

 

 

I first heard this pun in about 1974 when done by Led Zeppelin on their album "Houses of the Holy", with a track called "D'yer Mak'er". `A reggae track which when spoken out loud sounds like 'Jamaica'.

 

I don't think a lot of people got the joke at the time...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 hours ago, Mike the Boilerman said:

 

I first heard this pun in about 1974 when done by Led Zeppelin on their album "Houses of the Holy", with a track called "D'yer Mak'er". `A reggae track which when spoken out loud sounds like 'Jamaica'.

 

 

They nicked the idea, and arguably part of the tune, from Booker T & The MGs' reggae pastiche 'Jamaica This Morning' from a couple of years earlier. That pun was definitely understood at the time.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, Athy said:

They nicked the idea, and arguably part of the tune, from Booker T & The MGs' reggae pastiche 'Jamaica This Morning' from a couple of years earlier. That pun was definitely understood at the time.

 

It's a lot older than that!  It can be traced back to at least 1913, and has been called upon many times since, including by PG Wodehouse.  I remember hearing it on the radio in the 1950s.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 minutes ago, Mac of Cygnet said:

 

It's a lot older than that!  It can be traced back to at least 1913, and has been called upon many times since, including by PG Wodehouse.  I remember hearing it on the radio in the 1950s.

I do like the mental image of excess-loving hairies Led Zeppelin settling down with a cup of tea to read a book of Jeeves stories before going on stage.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

7 minutes ago, Flyboy said:

A cargo boat carrying red paint collided with another cargo boat carrying blue paint.   The crews were all marooned !

 

Another classic, but not such a long pedigree - attributed to Ronnie Corbett.  Another one from him:

 

"All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my right hand."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

22 minutes ago, Athy said:

I do like the mental image of excess-loving hairies Led Zeppelin settling down with a cup of tea to read a book of Jeeves stories before going on stage.

Not quite the same but back in the '70s there was this song called "All By My Self" (it was a terrible song) But it was practically note fore note Rachmaninoff's second Piano concerto. I'm not sure if he thought people just wouldn't notice. ?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

28 minutes ago, Mac of Cygnet said:

 

Another classic, but not such a long pedigree - attributed to Ronnie Corbett.  Another one from him:

 

"All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my right hand."

Yes but at least it was boat related.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.