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Are the canals unpleasantly overcrowded ?


yabasayo

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On 05/08/2021 at 23:54, Tony1 said:

lets just say that 9 miles between moorings is not ideal when single handing, if you're partial to a few large mugs of coffee in the morning. 

 

But if you couldn't stop, how did you manage to keep making coffee?

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6 minutes ago, Athy said:

But if you couldn't stop, how did you manage to keep making coffee?

 

Elementary, my dear Watson- two mugs of coffee were drunk before the cruising commenced, with a third placed on the roof just before casting off, and thus ready for the suspect to consume as he drove the boat, if you please. That cunning, caffeine-loving devil....

 

PS- I have perhaps exaggerated the challenges for dramatic effect, as is sadly my wont these days. I don't say that it was impossible to stop, but rather that it had certain challenges, which were not helped by it being my first few days on a boat, apart from a couple of holidays 5 or 6 years prior. 

You may rest assured that one way or another, the calls of nature did not go unanswered, but there were some interesting moments. 

 

Edited by Tony1
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I can see the headlines now...

 

"In an inexplicable boating accident today, a man was found with fatal propeller wounds having apparently fallen off the stern of his boat, which was found some distance away with the engine still running. Police are unable to explain why his flies were undone and he had a smile on his face..."

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9 minutes ago, IanD said:

I can see the headlines now...

 

"In an inexplicable boating accident today, a man was found with fatal propeller wounds having apparently fallen off the stern of his boat, which was found some distance away with the engine still running. Police are unable to explain why his flies were undone and he had a smile on his face..."

I once spoke to a CaRT area manager about recent deaths in the Canal Basin where I moor, he said when he goes to the Coroner’s Inquests one of the first question asked is if the victim’s trouser flies are open or trousers/belt undone when the body is found, as apparently a lot fall in taking a leak, especially if they have also consumed alcohol.

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2 minutes ago, PD1964 said:

I once spoke to a CaRT area manager about recent deaths in the Canal Basin where I moor, he said when he goes to the Coroner’s Inquests one of the first question asked is if the victim’s trouser flies are open or trousers/belt undone when the body is found, as apparently a lot fall in taking a leak, especially if they have also consumed alcohol.

This is one theory as to the number of deaths attributed to the Mythical Manchester Pusher to explain the number of bodies in the Rochdale canal in Manchester Gay Village area.

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5 minutes ago, PD1964 said:

 apparently a lot fall in taking a leak, especially if they have also consumed alcohol.

I suppose it's one of the few arguments in favour of a cruiser stern with guard rails.

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1 minute ago, Tracy D'arth said:

This is one theory as to the number of deaths attributed to the Mythical Manchester Pusher to explain the number of bodies in the Rochdale canal in Manchester Gay Village area.

I imagine we’ve all had that wobble when using the Urinal in the pub after a few too many beers and steadied ourselves with the hand on the wall to our front. Unfortunately on the side of the Canal that wall is not there.

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37 minutes ago, IanD said:

I can see the headlines now...

 

"In an inexplicable boating accident today, a man was found with fatal propeller wounds having apparently fallen off the stern of his boat, which was found some distance away with the engine still running. Police are unable to explain why his flies were undone and he had a smile on his face..."

 

I'm afraid in my case the headline would have more likely been something like: 'man arrested for indecent exposure on canal boat, carrying bottle of his own urine. Police suspect some form of bizarre fetish is involved' 

 

The tricky thing with the 'receptacle' method of ablutioning, of course, is that sometimes a civilian will appear on the bank where he has absolutely no business being (at least in my opinion), and despite one's best precautionary efforts. 

Or a GRP boat will appear around a bend ahead, approaching at a heady 7mph, and in order to avoid an 'incident' with potential legal consequences, percy has to instantly cease operations and beat a hasty retreat. 

Perhaps it is an age thing, but he does not regard the situation with the same gravity as I do, and he simply refuses to be hurried on such occasions, so that things can occasionally get messy. 

My apologies to those of a sensitive disposition if this is too much information. Given the subject matter, things were always going to take a grisly turn....

 

 

Edited by Tony1
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1 minute ago, Tony1 said:

 

I'm afraid in my case the headline would have more likely been something like: 'man arrested for indecent exposure on canal boat, carrying bottle of his own urine. Police suspect some form of bizarre fetish is involved' 

 

The tricky thing with the 'receptacle' method of ablutioning, of course, is that sometimes a civilian will appear on the bank where he absolutely no business being (at least in my opinion), and despite one's best precautionary efforts. 

Or a GRP boat will appear around a bend ahead, approaching at a heady 7mph, and in order to avoid an 'incident' with potential legal consequences, percy has to instantly cease operations and beat a hasty retreat. 

Perhaps it is an age thing, but he refused to be hurried on such occasions, and things can occasionally get messy. 

My apologies to those of a sensitive disposition if this is too much information. Given the subject matter, things were always going to take a grisly turn....

 

 

Here's another useful tip -- if peeing over the side while steering instead of into a receptacle, beware of sudden changes of wind direction...

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Never pee into the wind.  Same applies with a Shewee.

 

At Eton boys are taught to always wash their hands after reliving themselves.

 

 

 

 

At Harrow they are taught not to pee on their fingers.   So my son told me.

 

 

 

Edited by Tracy D'arth
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4 hours ago, Tony1 said:

 

I'm afraid in my case the headline would have more likely been something like: 'man arrested for indecent exposure on canal boat, carrying bottle of his own urine. Police suspect some form of bizarre fetish is involved' 

 

The tricky thing with the 'receptacle' method of ablutioning, of course, is that sometimes a civilian will appear on the bank where he has absolutely no business being (at least in my opinion), and despite one's best precautionary efforts. 

Or a GRP boat will appear around a bend ahead, approaching at a heady 7mph, and in order to avoid an 'incident' with potential legal consequences, percy has to instantly cease operations and beat a hasty retreat. 

Perhaps it is an age thing, but he does not regard the situation with the same gravity as I do, and he simply refuses to be hurried on such occasions, so that things can occasionally get messy. 

My apologies to those of a sensitive disposition if this is too much information. Given the subject matter, things were always going to take a grisly turn....

 

 

 

Seems like another advantage of a trad stern. If you close the stern doors behind you only those above you can see what you are doing and even then once "set up and started with a suitable recptacle" you can pull the hatch up to your stomach. 😁

Edited by cuthound
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5 minutes ago, cuthound said:

 

Seems like another advantage of a trad stern. If you close the stern doors behind you only those above you can see what you are doing and even then once "set up and started with a suitable recptacle" you can pull the hatch up to your stomach. 😁

Too much information !

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22 minutes ago, cuthound said:

 

Seems like another advantage of a trad stern. If you close the stern doors behind you only those above you can see what you are doing and even then once "set up and started with a suitable recptacle" you can pull the hatch up to your stomach. 😁

If you had a bigger suitable receptacle that you could sit down on, you could lose even more weight while steering along in complete privacy...

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