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Jennifer McM

Waterway Songs

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Every now and again I fall upon a website, just like a rabbit hole, that I can't get out of....  this website is one of them. 

 

Some of the lyrics are hilarious, and some are very touching: "Bosley in the Rain", "Bottom Blacking is Boring"...

 

"Call This A Holiday" has such a ring of truth about it 😂 http://www.waterwaysongs.co.uk/sounds/call_this_a_holiday.mp3

 

http://www.waterwaysongs.co.uk/SongMenu.htm

 

Lyrics from "The Grumpy Old Boater"..... (think we've met him! 😂)

 

Water temperature's rising, the oil pressure's low
He's coughing out black smoke wherever he goes
He should service the engine but we daren’t tell him so
For he is a grumpy old boater

Baggy jeans, oily tee-shirt, and scuffed leather boots
An abrasive old misfit, too fond of disputes
For politeness and manners he don’t give two hoots
For he is a grumpy old boater

Irksome and set in misogynous ways
He lives in the past, dreams of long bygone days
An outspoken critic of all he surveys
For he is a grumpy old boater

When boaters greet him he just cuts them dead
Averting his eyes he stares straight ahead
"How do?" and "Good Morning" and are words left unsaid
For he is a grumpy old boater

He'll shout and he'll swear at boats passing by
'Cos he thinks they're too fast and he’ll never see why
He can’t be a candidate for ‘Mr Nice Guy’
For he is a grumpy old boater

Alone on his boat through the long winter storms
He's a churlish hothead when the temperature warms
It's 'Bah Humbug' to summer and those leisure boat swarms
For he is a grumpy old boater

That queue at the locks just couldn't be worse
While stopped does he chat? No, quite the reverse
He'll gripe and he'll groan, he’ll chunter and curse
For he is a grumpy old boater

So take note grumpy boater, you know who you are
On tow-path, afloat, or propping up bar
A cantankerous dipstick who just goes too far
So push off you grumpy old boater

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There's the Eton Boating song, favoured by Rugby clubs:       And we'll all pull together

                                                                                             With our bodies between our knees. ect.

And there's the Russian one. The Vulgar Boatmans song;    Yoho heave ho, ect.

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I've known a few sea shanties in my past. Perhaps not to be listed here. But they were great. The lobster one is quite good.

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The poem, ''Casabianca''   The boy stood on the burning deck

                                        Playing a game of cricket

                                        The ball ran up his trouser leg

                                        And hit his middle wicket.

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1 hour ago, Nightwatch said:

I've known a few sea shanties in my past. Perhaps not to be listed here. But they were great. The lobster one is quite good.

That takes me back! Good advice about the dust too.

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6 hours ago, bizzard said:

And there's the Russian one. The Vulgar Boatmans song;    Yoho heave ho, ect.

I was born in Omsk.

Very close to Tomsk.

Where I spent my time

Manufacturing bomsk

 

😀

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13 minutes ago, Victor Vectis said:

I was born in Omsk.

Very close to Tomsk.

Where I spent my time

Manufacturing bomsk

 

😀

Boom Boomski.

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7 hours ago, Nightwatch said:

I've known a few sea shanties in my past. Perhaps not to be listed here. But they were great. The lobster one is quite good.

Oh, Mr Fisherman....!  :D

 

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"Leaky Windows" By Tina Turner.

Guess what I have been fixing today... .

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10th October 2018  7.30pm

Canal based songs with Dusty Miller & Dave Illingworth, & classic popular & blues songs with Rachel & John Brookes.

The Sports ConneXion,       Ryton-on-Dunsmore,  Coventry  CV8 3FL

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Have a listen to Buz Collins, excellent musician and friend sadly missed, where has time gone its 16 years since he left us.

 

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Come all ye dry land sail-i-ars and listen to my song
It's only forty verses and I won't detain you's long
It's all about the adventures of this old Lisburn tar
Who sailed as man before the mast on the good ship Calibar

Now the Calibar was a spanking craft, pitch bottomed for and aft
Her helm, it stuck out far behind and her wheel was a great big shaft
With half a gale to fill her sail, she'd do a knot an hour
She's the fastest craft on the Lagan Canal and she's only one horse power

Now, the captain was a strapping lad and he stood just four foot two
His eyes was red and his nose was green and his cheeks was a prussian blue
He wore a leather medal that he won in the Crimea War
And the captain's wife was the passenger cook on the good ship Calibar

Now, the captain say to me "Me lad, look here, me lad" says he
"Would you's like to be a sail-i-ar and sail the raging sea?
Would you's like to be a sail-i-ar on foreign seas to roll
For we're under orders from Portadown with a half a ton of coal"

It was early next morning, the weather, it being sublime
When passing under the old Queen's Bridge, we heard the Albert's chime
When going along the gaswork straits, a very dangerous part
We ran ahole on a lump of coal that wasn't marked down on the chart

Then all became cunfuse-i-en and the stormy winds did blow
The bos'n slipped on an orange peel, fell into the hold below
"Put on more speed", the captain cried "for we are sorely pressed"
But the engineer from the bank replied "The horse is doing his best"

Then we all fell into the water and we all let out a roar
There was a farmer standing there and he threw us the end of his galloses
And he pulled us all ashore
No more I'll be a sail-i-ar or sail the raging main
And the next time I go to Portadown, I'll go by the bloody train

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