Billy Boy Posted July 8, 2018 Report Share Posted July 8, 2018 Basking turd shark Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StephenA Posted July 8, 2018 Report Share Posted July 8, 2018 (edited) Blobs of it were appearing at Market Drayton today. Lay in bed this morning listening to gas bubbling up under the boat, and there was quite a bit of gas in the boat but I blame that on the curry and some beer. Edited July 8, 2018 by StephenA Removed duplicated entry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alan de Enfield Posted July 8, 2018 Report Share Posted July 8, 2018 2 minutes ago, StephenA said: Blobs of it were appearing at Market Drayton today. Lay in bed this morning listening to gas bubbling up under the boat, and there was quite a bit of gas in the boat but I blame that on the curry and some beer. Blobs of it were appearing at Market Drayton today. Lay in bed this morning listening to gas bubbling up under the boat, and there was quite a bit of gas in the boat but I blame that on the curry and some beer. Pardon ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Billy Boy Posted July 8, 2018 Report Share Posted July 8, 2018 4 minutes ago, Alan de Enfield said: Pardon ? Must be the gas repeating. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StephenA Posted July 8, 2018 Report Share Posted July 8, 2018 4 minutes ago, Billy Boy said: Must be the gas repeating. I clicked Submit reply and it sat there and did nothing - so I clicked it again.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Billy Boy Posted July 8, 2018 Report Share Posted July 8, 2018 Mrs cuffs me twice when I do nothing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mark99 Posted July 9, 2018 Report Share Posted July 9, 2018 When we leave the EU it will stop. On the basis that most poo sinks those people emptying must have a poor diet. Unless it's just the tip of the pooberg? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GUMPY Posted July 16, 2018 Report Share Posted July 16, 2018 This is a good explanation of sewage in water posted origionaly by Billyboy over 20 years ago on uk.rec.waterways This preamble is to warn you that some (or all) of the following some (or all?) people might find foul and horrible and quite disgusting. If you are a sensitive soul, please use the ZAP button now!!! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. ONLY PEOPLE WITH STRONG STOMACHES AND A PENCHANT FOR THE LAVATORIAL SHOULD CONTINUE WITH THIS BUM (Ooops!! Sorry) POSTING!! I have been persuaded (against my better judgement)to post this by friend who thinks it is mildly amusing!! I like beaches. Hot sandy beaches, with coral in the sea beyond them, ideal for snorkeling and diving. What better than to frolic in the oggin, laze on the beach, crack open a cold beer, light the BBQ, and go to sleep with the sound of the ocean in ones ear. Sadly, this idyll of paradise is spoiled by certain design faults in the human body, namely the calls of nature. For us chaps, wee-wees are no problem. Big jobbies are a different matter. (I did warn you. Please leave now if it is becoming offensive). A few years ago, after a night on a tropical beach I awoke late to see my companies bobbing about in the oggin. 'Hi! Guys! Early morning dip?' 'No! Aqua-crapping!' A whole new world opened in front of me over the next few hours. The discharge of one's solid bodily outgoings in an aquatic environment is perfectly feasible, so long as one takes due regard of the tips 'n' tricks passed on by others who have bravely carried out the necessary experimentation. For reasons that will be explained, the tips 'n' tricks are as follows: ONE. The aquatic environment should be warm(ish). This allows the exercise to be completed by a nearly nude body. Clothed bodies can lead to - complications. This rather rules out our somewhat chilly Canals, though they can be used in cases of emergency. I can think of at least one member of this group who has a penchant for dropping into canals fully clothed, and perhaps he (or she?) might now like to come clean as to what they are REALLY up to!! TWO. It is preferable to choose an aquatic environment in which there is a current (we're into water movement here, not Jules and the dreaded voles). THREE. The ideal depth of the aquatic environment, and the ideal geomorphological make up of the oceanic substrate, is a depth such that when standing on the substrate, a slight bending of the knees will bring the water level up to about neck height. Any deeper, and the current may start taking you away. Any shallower and thigh muscles may tire too quickly. FOUR. The technique is to enter the water, achieve the required depth of water, face the oncoming current, divest yourself of your clothing and .... get going. FIVE. You will now begin to gather some interesting phenomenological data about your body. Relaxing one's muscles sufficiently, to permit the exit of the solid bodily outgoings, requires a supreme effort of will. The human body (like the duck's) is carefully designed to prevent the ingress of moisture, to such an extent that it tends to overrule the egress of the outgoings. It is quite interesting to want to do something that your body doesn't wish to do. SIX. It is at about this time that you will learn two things - why you are facing into the current, and the effect of diet on your bodily outgoings. On the assumption that your body has permitted the egress of it's own, necessary outgoings two distressing scenarios can develop. Distressing Scenario Number One. FLOATERS are bodily outgoings that are negatively buoyant. BOBBERS can't make up their minds. They are definitely not (the preferred) sinkers, but neither are they full blown floaters. If you were not facing INTO the current, these little beasties would surface about 3 inches in front of your nose, an experience (I can testify to via bitter experience) that is surprising (OOoop!), worrying (especially in a communal session - Is it one of mine? - PLEASE let it be one of mine!!) and significantly distasteful. Distressing Scenario Number Two (!). The technical name for this is 'The Big Brown Cloud'. Confirmed aqua-crappers tend to avoid chicken vindaloos!! SEVEN. It must now be obvious that a further hint is to take particular care to organise your orientation to other people in a communal aqua-crapping situation. Be aware that some of your so called friends might shift their positions, especially those of a mathematical bent who can intuitively calculate current and drift rates. Be aware too, that genuine floaters can be affected by surface drift caused by the wind. A few years ago I spent 3 or 4 weeks living on Laughing Bird Cay (as it happens, for those of a geological nature, it is a faroe) (a 'faroe' being AKAIK, a stick of rock, rearing up upwards, hexagonal in cross-section) off the coast of Belize. A small island, (two or 3 football pitches in size) with me the only on-going inhabitant, sleeping in a hammock, slung between two coconut palms, with the local pelican formation flying team for entertainment. A visitor arrived for a few days one sundown. We had some food, drank some beer and slept. I was up at sunrise, and into the oggin for an early morning constitutional. He woke a few minutes later, donned mask, fins and snorkel, and explored the reef up stream of. He set off in a wide arc, and landed up downstream of me. I realised that I had not explained the lavatorial arrangements to him, just as there was a yelp and a splutter. I then explained what was going on. He fled to the radio, and asked to return to the mainland quick quick. 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haggis Posted July 16, 2018 Report Share Posted July 16, 2018 I remember reading that and Billy Boys many other entertaining posts. I haven't heard of him for a long time. is he still on his boat in the Rugby area or has he gone abroad again? haggis Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GUMPY Posted July 16, 2018 Report Share Posted July 16, 2018 8 minutes ago, haggis said: I remember reading that and Billy Boys many other entertaining posts. I haven't heard of him for a long time. is he still on his boat in the Rugby area or has he gone abroad again? haggis PM sent Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ditchcrawler Posted July 16, 2018 Report Share Posted July 16, 2018 6 minutes ago, Loddon said: PM sent thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ray T Posted July 16, 2018 Report Share Posted July 16, 2018 (edited) Shouldn't this thread be on this site? https://www.thefloater.org/ Edited July 16, 2018 by Ray T Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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