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xub1

How happy are you?

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I am very very happy. I haven't always been happy, but I am now. Every day is a sheer joy. It is like some kind of drug. I am just so really really happy.

 

Now I've begun this topic and begun to think about it more, I realise that it is/has a lot to it, how this happiness has been achieved. I will take some time to try and think how I am achieving it, as there are many factors, and each factor is a topic in itself.

 

But in the meantime how do others achieve happiness.....beyond getting boozed up?

 

It seems as though it is some kind of combination between knowledge and money....and of course health, which I am taking as a given.

Edited by xub1

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Gosh deep question! I see happiness as a transient thing - a moment when myself and my husband of 30 years say the same thing at the same time and look at each other with a big grin, a moment when I see something wonderful happen - a beautiful rainbow, a glimpse of a kingfisher, a group of ducklings following mum on the canal, etc. Mostly I value contentment over happiness, just a longer term feeling that all is well in my life, we can pay the bills, feed ourselves, have a roof over our heads and of course my husband of 30 years is still there for me :)

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I am groping about at this moment...behave yourself....for what it seems to be. I am from a working class background. I took a degree in media.....don't belive that urban myth about these being Mickey Mouse degrees. They are THE degree........mass mind control. It was kinda mind blowing for me to connect it all, the ideology, the psychology, the culture, the sociology, the anthropology, the politics, the geo politics, the history, the subliminal language of art.....applied art, not that gallery bollocks. And a whole bunch more. Heavy stuff.

 

The idea was to be able to understand enough to be able to understand and monitor what was going on and how it was happening. It is a perspective to view from............to be perfectly honest with you, even if I am hated, which i surely must be for saying this.........most people seem really confused, but they don't know it. It is like they are in a chase, like ball bearings in their chase. Me? Got through this. I suppose I should really just get my coat. There is no coming back from saying this, it is that affecting. But it is in this truth that happiness can, I feel, be found. But it has to be faced......very hard. Disturbing. The happiness comes from knowing where you are and what is going on. I have spent my life facing very difficult things, very difficult situations. I have given a lot but don't get reward, but take this on the chin as a price to be paid but which is worthy and a force of good. A hard path to save souls.

 

But I love you people so much that i have to level with you. Don't hold it against me.

 

I'm just pushing, or trying to, push the envelope into territories which we need to go into. as we can't stand still.....not in this world. we need to be up to scratch to protect and survive.....the canals are ours.

Edited by xub1

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I enjoyed a lovely evening with my family celebrating my mum's 76th birthday.this evening. My mum's cooking us a Sunday roast tomorrow. Within the next week or so we'll be moving into our newly acquired house in Stoke. Actually these things all add up to me being happy - except - and there's the rub - we hope the sale price of our boat makes our new life viable, but we have no idea what she's worth so maybe we've got it horribly wrong. So here I am n a world where I should have happiness but with so much uncertainty can't.

 

ho hum

 

Read my signature - it will work out good :)

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Gosh deep question! I see happiness as a transient thing - a moment when myself and my husband of 30 years say the same thing at the same time and look at each other with a big grin, a moment when I see something wonderful happen - a beautiful rainbow, a glimpse of a kingfisher, a group of ducklings following mum on the canal, etc. Mostly I value contentment over happiness, just a longer term feeling that all is well in my life, we can pay the bills, feed ourselves, have a roof over our heads and of course my husband of 30 years is still there for me :)

Ange, that is so spot on to what I am on about. you arte very eloquent, and I am thankful to you.

 

This is a challenging subject, but you sum it up so well.

 

The challenge is for the good, to make strong/affirm. You are a lovely person, and to my mind a clever and aware person. Thank you for your reply.

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certainly, I have had problems in my life, and which I see no end of. Very sad. But I try to aleviate this with some home-spun sense and ACCEPTANCE of an inferfection perpection. This is a liberationto move. You have to be able to live with yourself. I wish to test and make strong by thnis assult.

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I wish you all the best Xub - we're ;leaving the boat life because of health problems on my part but rather than dwell on that I prefer to look forward - there are lots of non boating adventures waiting for us

 

Life's a great adventure - I've just turned 50, every decade of my life has been a great adventure in different ways and I'm looking forward to this one.

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"Happiness" in that intangible something that cannot be bottled or marketed.

I believe to know happiness and contentment one has to first experience misery and strife...

For me I'd substitute the H word for inner peace and contentment...achievable through acceptance of life and an even keel in stormy sea.

Ill health and struggle to regain that which I took for granted is probably the roughest path I walked down these last few years.

I am in a great place..some of the time..and in a pretty awful place occasionally..

 

 

 

 

Hope all turns out well for you Ange,....being positive through what lies ahead will strengthen you..take care

 

I wish you all the best Xub - we're ;leaving the boat life because of health problems on my part but rather than dwell on that I prefer to look forward - there are lots of non boating adventures waiting for us

 

Life's a great adventure - I've just turned 50, every decade of my life has been a great adventure in different ways and I'm looking forward to this one.

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I am happy as today (after I finished work) I went into town and bought 15 new pairs of socks.... walking home through the park, I noticed a little old lady ahead of me,keep stopping and looking at trees. When I caught her up, she was stopped again and looking at a cherry tree in flower.

 

I stopped and began talking to her... she seemed a little taken aback at first but soon warmed and we sat on a bench together for a few minutes nattering about gardeners world and nature in general.

 

The reason I'm happy about this is because when it was time to go, she said "thank you for stopping and talking to me - my husband died recently and most people who know me try and avoid stopping and talking because they feel awkward"...

 

That was the only "decent" thing that happened in MY week but at least it made a difference to someone else... the rest of the stuff I put SO much effort into doing/being is 'worth' buggar all.

Edited by Quaysider
  • Greenie 1

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"Happiness" in that intangible something that cannot be bottled or marketed.

I believe to know happiness and contentment one has to first experience misery and strife...

For me I'd substitute the H word for inner peace and contentment...achievable through acceptance of life and an even keel in stormy sea.

Ill health and struggle to regain that which I took for granted is probably the roughest path I walked down these last few years.

I am in a great place..some of the time..and in a pretty awful place occasionally..

 

 

 

 

Hope all turns out well for you Ange,....being positive through what lies ahead will strengthen you..take care

 

 

Lovely Post Patty ann. My feelings put into finer words than I can muster !!

 

I wish you all the best Xub - we're ;leaving the boat life because of health problems on my part but rather than dwell on that I prefer to look forward - there are lots of non boating adventures waiting for us

 

Life's a great adventure - I've just turned 50, every decade of my life has been a great adventure in different ways and I'm looking forward to this one.

 

Good luck indeed Ange !!! I am having my own health problems at the moment but fate is going to need a very long crowbar to part me from my boats.

I do hope I never have to make that decision

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How to qualify happiness ? One way for me is , every morning I wake my wife of 39 years with a cup of tea and still know I am very lucky .

Another is standing at the tiller on a warm , blue sky day .

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Happiness ? That is a good question.

I have been fortunate enough to have travelled all over the world and met people who have very little money or if any at all. I would say that they are the happiest people I know.

 

But for most of us living in the West, life revolves around money, and it does help. but it is not the answer to happiness. I have a few friends who are worth millions, and are they happy ! I think not, most have all ended in a messy divorce and fighting over money.

 

Last year my brother tried to commit suicide, this was a terrible shock to me and the rest of the family as we were not aware of any problems, I am still trying to get over this horrible event. He kept all his problems to himself and again it was money related.

 

What makes me happy is to help others, either fixing problems or helping a friend in need, and passing on knowledge to others who are in need of it. More giving than taking makes me happy.

 

I love spending time with my family and friends this make me happy, and doing what I want to do when I want too.

 

The problem in life is that to many people go through live with blinkered vision, and don't take the time to see what is actually going on ,and what we have been educated to think.

 

I am still trying to work out why we are the only species on this planet to have money ? I am happy to have posted my point of view , but I will be much happier when I get my boat sorted out later in the year smile.png

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I'm happy tonight. I did the sound for the gig at our local pub and everyone said that it sounded very good.

 

The main act was Brooks Williams who was (as always) excellent.

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brooks_Williams

 

Support act, Tony Stark was good too.

 

This is the gig website

 

http://queensheadbelper.weebly.com

He is really very good indeed, when you see the genuine musical skill and talent that is out there it is astonishing...... makes me very happy. Then I turn the radio on and I am plunged into despair at the awful stuff that gets played. My youngest (Sam Cooper), supported Brooks a couple of years ago. Sam is available for gigs, Bar Mitzvahs, etc etc...... Yeah, OK its a plug, I know, Oh, He's on radio Stafford FM tonight as well, Think I'll get a spell on the naughty step soon.

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He is really very good indeed, when you see the genuine musical skill and talent that is out there it is astonishing...... makes me very happy. Then I turn the radio on and I am plunged into despair at the awful stuff that gets played. My youngest (Sam Cooper), supported Brooks a couple of years ago. Sam is available for gigs, Bar Mitzvahs, etc etc...... Yeah, OK its a plug, I know, Oh, He's on radio Stafford FM tonight as well, Think I'll get a spell on the naughty step soon.

k07105.gif

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Happiness to me, seems to originate in being (or at least, feeling) in control.

 

Or maybe expressed the other way around. One's money, job, relationships, health or home spiralling out of control generally results in unhappiness...

Ps and I agree about media studies. From the little I've seen of the subject its the thing is pick to study should I ever decide to go for a degree. A most unfairly maligned subject.

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Happiness to me, seems to originate in being (or at least, feeling) in control.

 

Or maybe expressed the other way around. One's money, job, relationships, health or home spiralling out of control generally results in unhappiness...

Ps and I agree about media studies. From the little I've seen of the subject its the thing is pick to study should I ever decide to go for a degree. A most unfairly maligned subject.

I'm certain it could be properly academic and studied and taught properly. However, I took it at A level, and the exam board had horribly simplified and dumbed it down, in the end I gave it up. A real shame, because it was very interesting, I just couldn't get on with how it was taught

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Old Groucho summed it up for me:

 

I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.”
Groucho Marx.

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Getting older helps. When you're young life is on rails, exams, career, marriage, mortgage, the need to achieve and conform blights our existence. As one gets older status anxiety shows itself to be nonsense, the knack is to stay alive and live in the moment. Happiness comes and goes, contentment is the key.

 

Things don't make us happy, they provide momentary satisfaction but they're never enough, there's always another thing round the corner and the wanting is corrosive because it steals our time. I've known a few models of a life well lived, but they're rare. My aunt and uncle who lived in a suburban semi were some of the most contented people I knew. He always worked in manual jobs but had a little money put on one side. He was a keen gardener and had a tidy shed and an old car but few other possessions. Watching him and his wife sit around their small coal range with a kettle on the boil, and the clock ticking in the corner and chiming the quarters was as contented as I've seen anyone. I once knew a retired single woman, a family friend of a girlfriend. She never stopped smiling. She must have been in her mid sixties and she was continually like child at Christmas, which is unusual because she was also one of the most intelligent women I'd ever met. Life seemed continually amazing to her, and she could barely contain it. It was as if she knew something no one else knew.

  • Greenie 1

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When I saw this site I thought that it would be one of those fluffy things,where everyone would be giving out vibes that would give me a glow.

Instead I have been blessed with being allowed to share comments that have made me look at our somewhat humble life.

My wife and I are both aged 77 and whilst not running marathons our doctors have told us to keep doing whatever we are doing.

When we go to bed we fall asleep within minutes which maybe because we have got on with our day and are content with how we have dealt with fellow human beings and our past decisions.

We are not as well off financially as many but we pay our bills and have some left over for the rainy days.

So are happy and glad to have met the nice people on this site ( you know who you are!).

  • Greenie 1

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Getting older helps. When you're young life is on rails, exams, career, marriage, mortgage, the need to achieve and conform blights our existence. As one gets older status anxiety shows itself to be nonsense, the knack is to stay alive and live in the moment. Happiness comes and goes, contentment is the key.

 

Things don't make us happy, they provide momentary satisfaction but they're never enough, there's always another thing round the corner and the wanting is corrosive because it steals our time. I've known a few models of a life well lived, but they're rare. My aunt and uncle who lived in a suburban semi were some of the most contented people I knew. He always worked in manual jobs but had a little money put on one side. He was a keen gardener and had a tidy shed and an old car but few other possessions. Watching him and his wife sit around their small coal range with a kettle on the boil, and the clock ticking in the corner and chiming the quarters was as contented as I've seen anyone. I once knew a retired single woman, a family friend of a girlfriend. She never stopped smiling. She must have been in her mid sixties and she was continually like child at Christmas, which is unusual because she was also one of the most intelligent women I'd ever met. Life seemed continually amazing to her, and she could barely contain it. It was as if she knew something no one else knew.

Cracking post, especially the first paragraph.

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Just got back from a lovely and happy day out, and read the posts here; some wonderful and touchingly wise words.

 

There was an interveiw with a German man who had been conscripted in WW2. This was in that amazing documentary series 'The World at War'. He was saying that before he got called up he was an ordinary citizen, and he really felt the strain of the propaganda which was pointed at him. When in the army the stress went because the soldiers never got the news/propaganda.

 

I think it is true that being lied to is very stressful because you are having to work very hard in such a tricky situation, and this creates a stress, ie someone wanting to mislead you.

 

For me, life is based on decisions. If I let someone else choose for me then that may not lead to me being happy. But if I make my own choice it may mean that I am choosing against the crowd and they will not like this as I am rejecting their choice, and this can then cause me trouble by the crowd. There is a pressure to conform to what is prescribed. Also the sheer weight of the masses' choice make me unsure of my own choice...it confuses me and puts me in two minds and makes me doubt my ability to go my own way. But I believe that happiness is most likely found not in the direction of the crowd, for the most part. And also I am not clever enough or informed enough or experienced enough to be certain my choices are correct, and I can't afford mistakes. But yet I have to make my own choices which will lead to happiness. It is then a constant task for me to be 'on guard', and always checking everything. The way I have found to do this is to persue Truth. If I know the truth then I am safe.

 

There is so much of the lie in this world, crafty lies, subtle lies. This is explored well in Bacon's essay 'Of Truth'. There is a poem towards the end (it is a very short essay, maybe only three pages) which says the mattereth very well. It says that there is nothing better than standing on the hill of Truth where the air is always clear and serine, and not to be ........oh better to read it. I can't use my android well yet, but you can get the essay with a search for Francis Bacon-Of Truth-line by line meaning.

 

The thing about this essay, and especially the poem towards the end, is that this is how I have found my happiness in this world of lies and misleadings. Truth is such a powerful friend. A film is an artificial construct, of course, from beginning to end. In a way this can be then considered a lie if it is presenting as truth to be believed unquestioningly. I think happiness is to be found by making your own choices which are measured and validated by weighing against Truth. If it is true and you are one against a million, then you are correct and should follow your own way. If you deal in lies then you can never be certain. You will enjoy that essay, I promise you. Get the one with the line by line meanings. So good.

Edited by xub1

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For me happiness is being me. Being allowed to be me. That is something that is so easy to take for granted but trust me, you can lose that and when you get it back every day suddenly becomes a place of beauty. I have off days, times when I am worried/scared/hurting but underneath it all there is this wonderful seam of happiness that I treasure.


. I once knew a retired single woman, a family friend of a girlfriend. She never stopped smiling. She must have been in her mid sixties and she was continually like child at Christmas, which is unusual because she was also one of the most intelligent women I'd ever met. Life seemed continually amazing to her, and she could barely contain it. It was as if she knew something no one else knew.

 

That is perfect and pretty much sums up how I feel now, I am called 'smiler' at work because I am always smiling. I lost that for many years but now see so much beauty everywhere, just a simple ride along the canal to work is incredible. I can't claim the intelligent part though lol

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It took a long time for me to work out what made me happy. I always thought that this would be achieved by realising my ambitions to progress in my work life. Despite various promotions, happiness didn't follow. It was only several years later that I realised I wasn't suited to the corporate world. I'm too much of a rebel.

 

I've now found things that make me happy. If I eat well, exercise a lot, tinker with and fix things, live in a quiet environment more often than a noisy one and have an odd relationship or two; I'm happy. Not 24 hours a day 7 days a week, but mostly.

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