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going to blush asking this one

nursegrowl

By nursegrowl
in Living Afloat

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Whitewater Collaborator

Whitewater

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Reminds me of two things, good idea to remember if your sidehatch is open, esp if it opens onto your bed. The second, a lock keeper and his wife watching a couple getting friendly on the bench opposite their lounge. When they had finished, gave them marks out of ten for effort and style, they left in a hurry

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robkg Collaborator

robkg

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Having just read another thread about banning forced draught diesel heaters, can I suggest that you switch on your Eber/Webasto while you are being intimate. Just bear in mind however, foreplay is not recommended as the heater won't run long enough without breaking down!

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FadeToScarlet Veteran

FadeToScarlet

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When we were camping in the Lake District, a young couple in the tent opposite decided to enjoy an amorous moment, shall we say.

 

At 10am, in a tent next to the main road in and out of the camp, with lots of children walking past. A crowd of about 30 people had gathered, all of us hideously embarrassed and wondering who'd go and tell them to stop. No-one was brave enough, so I did.

 

I walked over to the tent, and interrupted the gasps and sighs with, "Just so you know, there's a crowd of people outside, and everyone can hear exactly what you're doing!"

 

They stopped and left the campsite ten minutes later.

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Denis R Community Regular

Denis R

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A crowd of about 30 people had gathered, all of us hideously embarrassed and wondering who'd go and tell them to stop

It could be argued that the embarrassed ones were probably on the other side of the campsite, and the 30 or so who had gathered were perhaps more eagerly awaiting the final crescendo than they were admitting? :lol:

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FadeToScarlet Veteran

FadeToScarlet

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It could be argued that the embarrassed ones were probably on the other side of the campsite, and the 30 or so who had gathered were perhaps more eagerly awaiting the final crescendo than they were admitting? :lol:

 

It would be nice to think that the 5 year-old-kids who were in the crowd didn't fully know what was going on....

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Chertsey Veteran

Chertsey

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When we were camping in the Lake District, a young couple in the tent opposite decided to enjoy an amorous moment, shall we say.

 

At 10am, in a tent next to the main road in and out of the camp, with lots of children walking past. A crowd of about 30 people had gathered, all of us hideously embarrassed and wondering who'd go and tell them to stop. No-one was brave enough, so I did.

 

I walked over to the tent, and interrupted the gasps and sighs with, "Just so you know, there's a crowd of people outside, and everyone can hear exactly what you're doing!"

 

They stopped and left the campsite ten minutes later.

Spoilsport!

 

Seriously though, I'd worry more about the mindset of the crowd who gathered to listen that that of the people inside. Why not just ignore it and walk swiftly past?

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Denis R Community Regular

Denis R

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It would be nice to think that the 5 year-old-kids who were in the crowd didn't fully know what was going on....

:lol: It would be even nicer to think that their parents/carers/other campers ushered them away before they became worried that someone was committing murder or could ask any of the "what are they doing, mummy?" type questions.

Come to think of it, at the same time, instead of disrupting them completely at the height of their passion, you could have suggested to them that they at least chew the pillow 'til they're finished :lol:

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FadeToScarlet Veteran

FadeToScarlet

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Spoilsport!

 

Seriously though, I'd worry more about the mindset of the crowd who gathered to listen that that of the people inside. Why not just ignore it and walk swiftly past?

 

It was the kind of awkward, standing around, "Well, someone needs to think of the children... but I'm far too embarrassed to say something..." kind of crowd. It didn't seem voyeuristic or jolly, just very British, "erm, I don't know what to do, jolly awkward eh?" kind of thing.

 

Come to think of it, at the same time, instead of disrupting them completely at the height of their passion, you could have suggested to them that they at least chew the pillow 'til they're finished biggrin.gif

 

I didn't tell them to stop, I just let them know that everyone could hear them- if they were embarrassed enough to stop, well... :lol:

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  • 1 month later...
carlt Veteran II

carlt

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Jacques Brel, shurely? Bless his chain smoking, yacht sailing, manic depressive socks. And he even sang one about a lock-keeper, too. What a guy.

 

L'eclusier

The only problem with the Brel version is that the subtitles are a lot less poetic than the translation/interpretation, sung by SAHB so aren't as hard-hitting, if you don't speak French.

Edited by carlt
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sociable_hermit Experienced

sociable_hermit

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Anyway back on topic... playing music is a great way to avoid people listening!

 

Need to be careful with the choice of tunes, though. For example:

 

Melvins / Wildhearts - lots of tricky rhythmn changes (could be a winner) :lol:

Drum'n'bass (Pendulum etc.) - seriously high bpm - lots of KY required? :lol:

Ramones - nothing over 3 minutes long :lol:

Coldplay / Snow Patrol - oh, where did they go? Why was I feeling happy anyway? Everything is going beige... :lol:

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  • 4 weeks later...
Dekazer Rising Star

Dekazer

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The only problem with the Brel version is that the subtitles are a lot less poetic than the translation/interpretation, sung by SAHB so aren't as hard-hitting, if you don't speak French.

 

I can thoroughly recommend the Scott Walker Sings Jacques Brel album, if you like that sort of thing. I don't, but the OH does, so I speak from bitter experience :lol:

 

Oh, and if you still like that sort of thing, Jake Thackray and Ivor Cutler. No good for getting jiggy to though, I must say.

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