Jump to content

Living alone on a boat


Jen_P

Featured Posts

Forgive the personal question but ....

 

Wondering how many people live alone on their boat (as opposed to being in a couple or with a family)

 

And, if you're one of those living alone, are you less lonely than you would be on land?

 

I'm curious because a) I'll be living alone on my boat and B) I've written a book on loneliness and am constantly getting requests from the press, especially with Christmas approaching, to talk about loneliness.

 

I am just wondering whether life afloat will be a more sociable living arrangement than living by myself in a flat would be.

 

It'll be strange for me anyway as a) I've never lived on a boat and B) for the last ten years, I've shared a house with my best friend so I'm not exactly accustomed to living on my own.

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Living alone on a boat just step outside go for a walk and people you may meet will tend to talk, unlike those land lubbers in the bottom half of this country who do not even know their neighbours.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

When I was a single ccer I found the best way of meeting people when tying up somewhere new is to go for a towpath wander with an empty mug.

 

A word of warning though, this tactic led directly to me ending my single boating days and I now have 2 kids.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Generally if you are a sociable person on dry land you'll have no problem on a boat. Having a dog helps enormously I find, it gives you an excuse to talk to perfect strangers and vice versa.

 

I like the empty mug idea but I think if I tried it these days folk would just throw a few coins in it and make a hasty retreat.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

When I was a single ccer I found the best way of meeting people when tying up somewhere new is to go for a towpath wander with an empty mug.

 

A word of warning though, this tactic led directly to me ending my single boating days and I now have 2 kids.

 

No chance of that! I'm just that little bit too old to have kids.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I live on board with my partner, but as she is in the middle of a 7 month contract abroad, I currently technically live alone.

 

There are two differences with boats which mean you may well be more lonely (or at least more alone) than in a house. First, you have less space to entertain, this is particularly true for me as I am currently renovating, but I have certainly missed out on a few occasions to see people because I have not had the space to invite them over! Secondly, (depending on mooring situations) boats move around, so whereas you might meet someone who could be a good friend one day, they (or you) might not be there the day after! This does go two ways though, as you can just as easily go from having no-one around to being surrounded by potential friends in a days travel too...

 

I think boaters in general are influenced by this moving pattern and therefore are more accustomed to connecting with strangers (with or without an empty mug).

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Being on ones own is not the same as being lonely.

 

 

but you knew that you wrote the book. wink.png

 

Yes, I did!

Personally, I am at my loneliest when in the company of people with whom I can't connect.

But I also feel lonely if I'm on my own too long especially at weekends and on bank holidays!

 

I live on board with my partner, but as she is in the middle of a 7 month contract abroad, I currently technically live alone.

 

There are two differences with boats which mean you may well be more lonely (or at least more alone) than in a house. First, you have less space to entertain, this is particularly true for me as I am currently renovating, but I have certainly missed out on a few occasions to see people because I have not had the space to invite them over! Secondly, (depending on mooring situations) boats move around, so whereas you might meet someone who could be a good friend one day, they (or you) might not be there the day after! This does go two ways though, as you can just as easily go from having no-one around to being surrounded by potential friends in a days travel too...

 

I think boaters in general are influenced by this moving pattern and therefore are more accustomed to connecting with strangers (with or without an empty mug).

 

I don't tend to entertain at home now - perhaps because I am house sharing. I've bought a wide-beam so having people over should be possible.

 

I won't be CCing. I've got a mooring. There are 8 boats there. I went for a nosy last weekend and they let me in (it's through a locked gate) and I got talking to a couple of people who were really friendly. They've invited me to the pub this Wednesday too! So it should be a fairly sociable place. Fingers crossed.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I hope when you wander down the towpath with a mug you haven't left the teapot on the roof.

 

It wouldn't matter, he's already drunk the tea so it's OK if the pot goes cold.

How does carlt's system work anyway? People seeing a man with an empty mug might think either

"He doesn't need a cup of tea, he's just had one". Or worse still:

"Unsociable ****, he made a pot of tea, didn't invite me, and worse still left the teapot on the roof to emphasise that".

On the other hand, I'm single and carlt is not, so what do I know?

 

Boaters do seem to be more sociable than bricks and mortar neighbours generally, judging by all the comments on this forum (once the handful of antisocial posters are discounted). At least London neighbours anyway, although as I've said elsewhere we do usually get to know the people immediately next door over time. A lot of people on the forum seem to meet each other in their travels or at the "banters", but so far I've only met two; I should get out more.

 

If you have a rush of blood to the head and and enter the BCN Challenge you'll get to know quite a few of them, and a few pieces of Birmingham junk too by the sound of it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I live without any other people, but my cats are my best company! At the moment I am not within shouting distance of anyone else either. The fella who works in the chandlery by me seems a bit anxious about my safety/security, but to be honest, I'm not worried.

I used to be one of those people who can't miss a party or a gathering and couldn't countenance the idea of being alone, but I'm much more hermitty these days and more selective about socialising. However, much as I am ambivalent about people as a rule, I could not be without my animals.

 

The thing with boating is, you can moor in the arse end of nowhere, or near to people, and change your mind as much as you like. You can go and be social or avoid contact, and other boaters are fairly good at identifying and respecting which you are doing. Personally I don't really like having non-boaters over but boaters annoy me far less... Still, after one night I am more than ready for them to go home!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

marinas are normally very sociable.

I'd say the towpath is less so.

In marinas people often rely on each other for all sorts of things...safety, wood cutting tools, coal deliveries, sugar, spare fire lighters etc etc....

 

If you face your boat in such a way that you can say hello to people walking past, you'll soon be having people on board for a cuppa every week. Boaters also know that respecting peoples space is important, so may not encroach unless invited.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

How does carlt's system work anyway?

I've never analysed it enough to say how, it just does.

 

I first discovered the method when I left my boat for a stroll with a full mug but had just emptied it when I encountered a friendly soul leaning out of his side hatch who asked if I'd like a top-up.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

I won't be CCing. I've got a mooring. There are 8 boats there. I went for a nosy last weekend and they let me in (it's through a locked gate) and I got talking to a couple of people who were really friendly. They've invited me to the pub this Wednesday too! So it should be a fairly sociable place. Fingers crossed.

 

 

I'd say boaters are WAY more sociable than them as live on the bank. Some have a thin veneer of hostility though until you reveal yourself as a boater too, prior to which they are taking you for a landy.

 

My own experience of living on the sort of small private mooring you describe is that initially everyone is extremely friendly to the point of intrusiveness, then it calms down and you get to know each other very well. You help each other out and life is generally lovely for a few years then the cracks start to show at which point it's time to untie and shove off and find another place to moor with eight new neighbours. If you don't, major fallings-out follow swiftly.

 

Or just CC as you'll be good at engaging with all the odd peeps out and about on boats by now :)

 

Nice wine, this....

 

MtB

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I lived on a narrowboat by myself for 13 years. It wasn't a tea cup which got me two children it was online dating :rolleyes:

 

I met plenty of people when out boating but as I was travelling round a fairly wide geographical area (I a genuine cc'er :lol: ) it was 'I remember you and your boat forgot your name' kind of thing.

 

I'm the kind of person that doesn't really have many friends anyway. Quite sociable but not that bovvered about that subject. I had a canine friend on board the whole time which was helpful :)

 

I do think living on a boat is more sociable than in a flat but it depends on your sense of 'community' and whether you are going to be traveling about a lot or intend to be in a fixed area.

 

I'm biased because I can't stand living on land but everyone is different in that respect.


Eta just noticed you will be on a mooring. That will be interesting!


One definitely does meet a lot less other boaters on an offside mooring, it insulates you, I find which can be a disadvantage or an advantage depending on your viewpoint.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Any minority with a shared interest tends to be friendly within that group. We found that when we started boating many years ago.

Sometime you have to break the ice by some form of greeting.

We're finding that somewhat less so as new folks come onto the water and haven't yet adapted.

To some extent you have to be slightly extravert of give them an excuse to open the conversation. I do that by 'wearing' a variety of flags from my tiller - that gets them going, 'specially if it's an ensign flag....

 

It can't be all that bad - you've already seen good response from this forum, now you have to translate that into face-to-face.

 

BTW - it'll help if you get out on the boat occasionally once you've got some confidence and the weather's better and mix a bit. Once you've achieved the status of a Master (Mistress) Mariner you'll acquire a buzz.

Edited by OldGoat
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Any minority with a shared interest tends to be friendly within that group. We found that when we started boating many years ago.

Sometime you have to break the ice by some form of greeting.

We're finding that somewhat less so as new folks come onto the water and haven't yet adapted.

To some extent you have to be slightly extravert of give them an excuse to open the conversation. I do that by 'wearing' a variety of flags from my tiller - that gets them going, 'specially if it's an ensign flag....

 

It can't be all that bad - you've already seen good response from this forum, now you have to translate that into face-to-face.

 

BTW - it'll help if you get out on the boat occasionally once you've got some confidence and the weather's better and mix a bit. Once you've achieved the status of a Master (Mistress) Mariner you'll acquire a buzz.

 

Like "ooh thats a nice engine you've got in there"

 

or "Was your boat built by xyz boatbuilders?"

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Also, after some unspecified but generally short length of time as a boater, other boaters seem to know this instantly, and can pick you out of any number of non-boaters hanging round the canals or in canalside pubs. I find this very interesting, and not really directly related to the obvious, such as big knitted jumpers and diesel stained jeans. Me and MtB discussed this at great length after about ten different occasions within six weeks where total strangers just picked us out, one lot even opening with, "scuse, me, you're obviously boaters, can you tell me..."

Edited by Starcoaster
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Generally if you are a sociable person on dry land you'll have no problem on a boat. Having a dog helps enormously I find, it gives you an excuse to talk to perfect strangers and vice versa.

 

I like the empty mug idea but I think if I tried it these days folk would just throw a few coins in it and make a hasty retreat.

 

To use the dog as a means of interacting you don't actually have to own a dog. Just ask the dog owner a question bout their dog. They will be delighted to tell you more than you really wanted to know.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

To use the dog as a means of interacting you don't actually have to own a dog. Just ask the dog owner a question bout their dog. They will be delighted to tell you more than you really wanted to know.

 

Although I live on the land Mrs T got me a dog when I retired some five years ago now. I was most surprised at the number of people both dog owners and not who would stop for a chat.

 

It opened up a whole new social world to me.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am a die-hard dog borrower/botherer.

In Braunston I pretty much know every dog, and more than once I have been one side of a bridge and heard someone frantically yelling a familiar dog name on the other, followed swiftly after by a high speed furball barrelling into me, having heard my voice and deciding to make a break for it to say hello.

Jodie the collie hurling himself onto Sickle, nearly pitching Mr. Fincher's Ipad into the cut in the process was memorable! :D

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.