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The things that nobody thinks to tell you.... Part 2


Starcoaster

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Tawny has an odd variation of this game, called 'which way is the front' caused by her mirror image construction. This can be further complicated by seeing a boat approaching in one of the mirrors on the end walls of the cabin. After a couple of days, I get really confused

 

 

Richard

 

You mean that is a state of mind that only occurs after a couple of days on board?

 

Oh! ;)

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13a. And once you have figured out which side the land is, you relax and go back to sleep. Then a boat scares you witless by going past on the towpath side.

 

smile.png

 

MtB

 

You should have seen my face when I woke up on Tawny on Saturday to find that the boat was on the other side of the cut!

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Two years of boating and two years since my original forum post quite literally launched a new career for me later... I had wine with dinner again tonight.

 

1. People laugh at you for thinking that you can ever wear a dress/skirt while living on a boat. But they soon pipe down when circumstance catches you resplendent in a floor length party dress, fleece jacket, socks and yes, flip flops... Hanging down into the engine bilge and disconnecting one of your batteries in an emergency, while scowling at the fully Helly-Hansoned up Experienced Boater who is helpfully calling out distant advice to you while staying totally clean themselves.

 

2. You dont think twice about asking someone you only met in the pub last night to watch your boat/feed your cats for you while you go away for a few days, and you also know after a half hour of talking to them that they will be safe and trustworthy to do so.

 

3. You can spot another boater in the pub at 50 paces, but you have no idea how.

 

4. So if you find a set of boaters lost keys on the towpath, you simply walk to the nearest pub and home in on the two-three groups of boaters present psychically within 30 seconds of entering, without having to ask the bar staff to make an announcement, and invariably find your man.

 

5. Similarly, random diesel-scented strangers will seek you out in the pub, say youre obviously a boater and ask you which boat is yours... Even when you have been in the shower for hours and have donned your best togs and a full face of make up and had planned to go out clubbing with the REAL people, leaving your inherent boaty-ness behind.

 

6. You can always spot the part-timer/ over-important I own a boat types at canalside businesses, before you even hear their voices, by the presence of their pressed going to the pub Chinos, deck shoes and prominently placed brand new keyfloats on the bar in front of them. Before they even open their mouths, and loudly state something irrelevant about their engine, how often they clean the boat, or how nice the mooring they are on is, you just know that they are boaters, but only go to the boat twice a year and are just showing off.

 

7. You no longer look up in disbelief when you find someone staring into your kitchen window and passing a loud Attenborugh-esque commentary about Oh look, she has a sink! She must have running water in there! Oh my word, she is WASHING DISHES! Do you think her water comes from the canal?

 

8. Youre really careful about where and how you put things down so they wont fall off the side when the boat rocks; but then remember that youre in a house!

 

9. You stand stupidly in the hotel bathroom for 30 seconds looking for the switch for the shower pump before remembering how real life works, and turning the water on.

 

10. It seems perfectly normal to you to share your life history, hopes and dreams and secret fears with your new best friend who moored next to you for one night only, got drunk with you and whose name you cant remember, who then set off in the morning before you woke up, because you connected. And obviously, you are best friends and pick up right where you left off when you run into each other again two years later on, unexpectedly, somewhere else far, far away.

 

11. Your Mother is completely flummoxed when you visit her by your propensity to turn off all unneeded lights and equipment the second you finish using them-When throughout your teenage years, you were never happy unless you left a light show to rival Vegas in all of the rooms you walked out of.

 

12. Both you and your Mother are equally flummoxed to learn that when you do visit said Mother in a house, you have literally forgotten how to get up a flight of stairs, other than on all fours, like some kind of retarded puppy.

 

13. You have no idea which side the land is on when you wake up, and trying to decide without cheating and opening a curtain turns into something of a choose your adventure game for you every time you wake up on a new mooring.

 

14. You always grab the collar of any dog before they leap to shore, just to make sure that they are not inadvertently jumping off on the wrong side. Again.

 

15. Comments from canal-side pub garden gongoozlers like Oooh, do you live on your boat? How lovely! You are so lucky! What a lovely fairytale life you must lead! Lead to fast invitations to spend a day on your liveaboard boat... The day that you need to empty the toilet and collect your 30 bags of coal from the road bridge 200 yards away from the cut.

 

16. Random strangers on the towpath out walking for the day regard you as the wildflower almanac, and ask you if those weird-looking mushrooms near your mooring are safe to eat. And then believe you, whatever you say, just because you live on a boat and so, are obviously akin to a herbalist, and never buy your edible fungi in Asda or anything like normal people do.

 

17. People spot you working on your computer on the bow of your boat in the height of summer, and automatically assume that you are an unemployable rabble-rousing anarchist writer or political activist, and are either claiming the dole, living on Daddys money, or simply could not hold down a real job to save your life... Just because you are under 60, and not suited, booted and in an office, as there is no way on Gods green earth that someone can legitimately work in such nice conditions and actually get paid to do so, obviously.

 

18. When friends and family phone you, they get used to your response to where exactly are you moored at the moment? Being Oh, Northamptonshire I think, or possibly Warwickshire... Or at a push, Oxfordshire...

 

19. You start to feel like just living on a boat has caused you to become insular, single minded and disconnected from the rest of society to the point that simple shopping trips into town or meetings with non-boaters become something to psyche yourself up to, choose your outfit for and put your game face on for, long before you go out.

 

20. You go from feeling like the Messiah of living afloat and trying to indoctrinate people into the wonder of boat life at every turn, to actively deflecting people from realising that you live on a boat to avoid the never-ending same-y questions that this always promotes.

 

21. Aldi is your most favourite shop, ever. You plan moorings and stop-offs around it and everything. Oh, they also sell food? Who knew!

 

22. You start to answer to the name of your boat; in fact, you head turns faster when someone calls it than it does if someone says your own name. This becomes particularly confusing if you named your boat in honour of a long-dead relative, and you spend a few seconds after someone intones it thinking that the person in front of you is psychic, and about to deliver a message from your long lost relative, rather than simply asking you if that is your boat!

 

23. People nod approvingly and commend you for the low carbon footprint that you must have and the low-impact lifestyle that you lead... While you hang out of the open door talking to them and sweating like a pig because the coal stove is too hot despite all the windows being open, trying to make yourself heard over the noise of the engine running to charge your batteries.

 

24.

inverter_zps2d859113.jpg

 

25. That dodgy, vaguely scary bloke with the prison tattoos that you moored by a while ago in desperation is now the most trustworthy and reliable friend that you know.

 

26. That Chino'd up Shiny Boater with the comb-over toupee and prominently displayed Aston Martin keyring was actually the first person who rolled up their sleeves and helped to dig the crud out of your weed hatch for you when you got proper stuck.

 

27. Gas ran out boiling the kettle, and not during a shower. I WIN this round of gas bottle roulette, thank you for watching, tune in next time.

 

28. The sound of the bow thruster is like the mating call of the Shiny Boat, because when I hear it, I know there's a 50-50 chance that said boat is about to start trying to hump my Springer. And apparently, shiny boats are really hot for Springers.

 

29. You have had a go with a bow thruster/ Girly Button. And you liked it, and are not quite sure how to deal with this, actually.

 

30. Youre not a Real Boater until youve spent at least one night on Tawny Owl.

Love it ,

 

 

Your nuts ?

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Brilliant clapping.gif

 

Loads resonate with me - these in particular

 

 

13. You have no idea which side the land is on when you wake up, and trying to decide without cheating and opening a curtain turns into something of a “choose your adventure” game for you every time you wake up on a new mooring.

 

14. You always grab the collar of any dog before they leap to shore, just to make sure that they are not inadvertently jumping off on the wrong side. Again.

 

You'd be amazed how skinny Millie looks when she's taken a dunking biggrin.png

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Yeah, No14 really rings so true, when we had four dogs including a blind one it was a nightmare.

Pip the blind dog was a Yoodle (Yorkie x miniture Poodle) and she literally had blind faith, if we said "out" she along with the other 3 would just launch themselves up on the side deck and then off the boat. One of us would have to guide them off the correct side as they were conditioned to get off the boat on the port side.

Starry you do know you have a book in you.

Phil

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  • 8 years later...
On 12/08/2014 at 05:28, Felshampo said:

31. You're not a real boater until you wear a panama hat, have a muffin top and can ignore passing walkers who smile and say hello because your shiny boat means your considerably richer than they are.

Ahhh, The cheap Chinese 240V inverter in the advert above, (Might get changed), does not have an Earth Leakage Brreaker, or an RCD, (Residual Current Detector), AND the allo case is not earther. Firstly drill a small hole, and find a stainless washer to fit a self tapping screw, or small thru not and bolt for a section of grren & yellow ground wire to the hull if it's a steel or alloy boat, OR the engine frame. Finally use the test button on the RCD/ELB every month. 

 

 

 

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30 minutes ago, Lifeboat Elsie May said:

Ahhh, The cheap Chinese 240V inverter in the advert above, (Might get changed), does not have an Earth Leakage Brreaker, or an RCD, (Residual Current Detector), AND the allo case is not earther. Firstly drill a small hole, and find a stainless washer to fit a self tapping screw, or small thru not and bolt for a section of grren & yellow ground wire to the hull if it's a steel or alloy boat, OR the engine frame. Finally use the test button on the RCD/ELB every month. 

 

 

 

More dangerous and incomplete advice. You are going to kill someone, STOP IT.

 

You know a bit, not enough, and its worrying me.

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37 minutes ago, Tracy D'arth said:

More dangerous and incomplete advice. You are going to kill someone, STOP IT.

 

You know a bit, not enough, and its worrying me.

SOOW, he does not have a RCD or ELB. I use a mains double RCD just after the shore pwr socket, and a white version of the link which is an ELB, plugged into the far Easterm 5kW inverter that I use when all else fails and I need 240V power for a tool or three that is not in my Einhell Lithium set. So it allows me a way of moving around using a 7Ah 12V portable power box I made up with a 20A fuse and car type ciggy plug and socket. Use the same battery for the odd 2m VHF Ham chat as I need more height to get anyone even locals. Poratable 50 ohm coax loop antenna, but it's a narrow one so near polar in circular field strength. I make all of my Hamster antennas, even a 5 element Cobweb HF 5 loop set that does not need an earth and was in the garden until a neighbour complained about her TV squiggles, so I pleaded guilty and sold it. Alas her TV's Yagi was a serious one and too close to direct line of sight to the Slim Jim 2m VHF. Old Slim Jim knew about designing any type of antenna that most folks could make. 

How to kill yourself if you read top of Google search:

If it detects electricity flowing down an unintended path, such as through a person who has touched a live part, the RCD will switch the circuit off very quickly, significantly reducing the risk of death or serious injury.

 

Sometimes an idiot will forget that an ELB or RCD is not a circuit breaker or fuse, unless you get 5kW of power through one, and then the attachment to the positive terminals will melt. Net result can be a fire.

 

This is how to gamble on life in Fleabay that I posted, "Count Em Flipdrivel "!!

Collins Card Games.jpg

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1 hour ago, Lifeboat Elsie May said:

. Finally use the test button on the RCD/ELB every month. 

 

 

 

For your education the test button does not prove you have an earth or that if you have an appliance leaking current to earth the power will be cut off.

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4 hours ago, ditchcrawler said:

For your education the test button does not prove you have an earth or that if you have an appliance leaking current to earth the power will be cut off.

For your missing electrical education read this from a company who really know their Sh1t about breakers.

Failure reasons:

Not reseting after the test

Not tripping when the test button is pressed

Tripping slowly it should be fast and instant

RCD switch feeling floppy after the test.

 

The incorrect part is than an ELB/RCD will not function at all if there is no earth. So it does not need testing. 

 

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3 minutes ago, Lifeboat Elsie May said:

For your missing electrical education

 

You are arguing with a chap who used to do commercial wiring on offshore oil rigs.  On a thread you have resuscitated from eight years ago.

 

I don't always agree with @Tracy D'arth, but with you I'm beginning to. 

 

A little knowledge is a dangerous thing. Less than that can be lethal ...

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When idiots post random information on facebook groups it is very hard to determine the accuracy of the info. posted.

 

On here some members have built up many years of experience and credibility.

 

I would say lifeboat elsie may's advice can be 100% flushed..

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4 hours ago, TheBiscuits said:

 

You are arguing with a chap who used to do commercial wiring on offshore oil rigs.  On a thread you have resuscitated from eight years ago.

 

I don't always agree with @Tracy D'arth, but with you I'm beginning to. 

 

A little knowledge is a dangerous thing. Less than that can be lethal ...

Unless that wiring was underwater it has nothing to do with how you wire a boat, although the cost of Gold plated contacts for some systems related to shore power rules them out. 

  Wiring a boat and a lifeboat in particular has a lot to do with keeping the water out, so never assume an area will stay dry, as leaks do happen and boats do get flooded or damp. 

  Electrolysis is also important in the case of trips into areas where the water is salty, like a river estuary. So all of the wire should be tinned Copper, and the terminals crimped not soldered, although I don't use them too often. Got a thing about minimum resistance, so they are a double edged sword. 

  

On topic: Irritated that most marine engines do not use tinned wire, as it's not stupidly expensive. Daft bean counters ago !!!

https://marine-electricals.co.uk/product/tinned-twin-round-cable-2-x-1-5mm/

 

Nearly all searchlight and tillerpilot power sockets and plugs are Gold plated contact, in my time offshore and circumnavigation the worst electrical issues are with the Chrome plated brass electrical units. I had a so called marine power socket for a deck light in my stern arch. It just fell apart after I spent several weeks going to windward. So I just soldered the wires together and use a sealant in the hole. One of the flexible solar panels also fell apart, but was replaced under a 3 year warranty.

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2 hours ago, Lifeboat Elsie May said:

On topic: Irritated that most marine engines do not use tinned wire, as it's not stupidly expensive. Daft bean counters ago !!!

 

Probably because the boat wiring specifications were amended prior to 2015 when the requirement was deleted.

 

Why don't you stop posting, your ignorance is embarrasing

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1 hour ago, GUMPY said:

I'm beginning to think that @Lifeboat Elsie May is AI generated and is incapable of rational thought.

 

Its Molly of Liquid Moly fame and he is just daft, and dangerous with his incorrect advice. I would like to see him banned before he kills someone.

His thoughts may seem rational to him in his deluded mental state.

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1 hour ago, GUMPY said:

I'm beginning to think that @Lifeboat Elsie May is AI generated and is incapable of rational thought.

 

 

I too have been thinking the same. The superficially credible tosh s/he writes on here rarely stands up to detailed analysis, just like a lot of ChatGPT stuff.

 

Also seems incapable of being offended, another ChatGPT trait. 

 

 

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16 minutes ago, MtB said:

 

I too have been thinking the same. The superficially credible tosh s/he writes on here rarely stands up to detailed analysis, just like a lot of ChatGPT stuff.

 

Also seems incapable of being offended, another ChatGPT trait. 

 

 

What if the question was asked of Molly and if an unsatisfactory answer or none at all was posted  then he could be banned and post deleted?

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19 minutes ago, Tracy D'arth said:

What if the question was asked of Molly and if an unsatisfactory answer or none at all was posted  then he could be banned and post deleted?

 

I doubt that would happen. I asked the mods to do something about him during his liquid moly stage on the grounds that he was offering advice in a very positive form that was dangerous and was likely to cause inexperienced members a lot of problems. The reply I got was that the mods did not feel technically knowledgable enough to act. I really can see their point, but now several more members have questioned his statements and advice, I feel they have enough confirmatory information to act.

 

 

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23 hours ago, Lifeboat Elsie May said:

Ahhh, The cheap Chinese 240V inverter in the advert above, (Might get changed), does not have an Earth Leakage Brreaker, or an RCD, (Residual Current Detector), AND the allo case is not earther. Firstly drill a small hole, and find a stainless washer to fit a self tapping screw, or small thru not and bolt for a section of grren & yellow ground wire to the hull if it's a steel or alloy boat, OR the engine frame. Finally use the test button on the RCD/ELB every month. 

 

 

 

 

Is it only me who is confused about this post which seems to have nothing to do with the post it is replying to which was posted nearly 9 years ago

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