Homemade biscuits.

[bizzard]

For a start folks this recipe needs no ingreedients or bloomin cooking, how about that!! Here's how to Impress your guests with your homemade biscuits.

Lay on a flat surface a sheet of 20 0r 50 grit abrasive production paper. Take each biscuit which you've been and bought in turn and place them name downwards upon the abrasive paper and rub each one on the paper until the makers name has been obliterated and then turn them over and with an old nail etch-scribe your own name on em. Is that easy or is that easy. Save up all the biscuit dust that the process produces and when enough has been swept up off the floor and saved, mix with a little water and mold it into nice biscuity shapes, whilst soft and doughy scribe again scribe your name upon em before baking each until firm and crispy with a blowlamp or by waving them about over a candle flame. This ensures no wastage and you get your full moneys worth.

ps. I wouldn't bother with certain biscuits like Cornish wavers and cream crackers though as they're too fragile with an uneven surface and will just be reduced to crumbs and dust if dealt with by the above hi-tec process and so you'll have wasted yer dosh buying them. Yum Yum.

 

[patty-ann]

Thats my sort of cooking, brilliant idea

[MtB]

I don't think this would work with my favourite trpe of biscuit either, dead fly biscuits.

 

 

MtB

[the barnacle]

I don't think this would work with my favourite trpe of biscuit either, dead fly biscuits.

 

 

MtB

 

you must of watched that documentry Swarm? mmmm tasty.

[MtB]

 

you must of watched that documentry Swarm? mmmm tasty.

 

Nope. Never heard of it.

 

I've called them that since I was a brat, as did most of my brat friends

 

 

MtB

[the barnacle]

 

Nope. Never heard of it.

 

I've called them that since I was a brat, as did most of my brat friends

 

 

MtB

 

i saw a documentry a few nights ago called swarm - there was a fly swarm with trillions of flys in africa (i think) the locals used wet frying pans to collect flys then baked them into fly buscuits - half a million flys per buscuit.

[bizzard]

Aldi sell squashed fly biccys, 47p loads of them in a packet, good value, well baked and crispy.

[bizzard]

Aldi sell squashed fly biccys, 47p loads of them in a packet, good value, well baked and crispy.

To make your own and for the main ingreedient you will need the services of a friendly spider that can spin strong webs.

[Phil Ambrose]

For a start folks this recipe needs no ingreedients or bloomin cooking, how about that!! Here's how to Impress your guests with your homemade biscuits.

Lay on a flat surface a sheet of 20 0r 50 grit abrasive production paper. Take each biscuit which you've been and bought in turn and place them name downwards upon the abrasive paper and rub each one on the paper until the makers name has been obliterated and then turn them over and with an old nail etch-scribe your own name on em. Is that easy or is that easy. Save up all the biscuit dust that the process produces and when enough has been swept up off the floor and saved, mix with a little water and mold it into nice biscuity shapes, whilst soft and doughy scribe again scribe your name upon em before baking each until firm and crispy with a blowlamp or by waving them about over a candle flame. This ensures no wastage and you get your full moneys worth.

ps. I wouldn't bother with certain biscuits like Cornish wavers and cream crackers though as they're too fragile with an uneven surface and will just be reduced to crumbs and dust if dealt with by the above hi-tec process and so you'll have wasted yer dosh buying them. Yum Yum.

 

Mmmm another wizard Bizzard wheeze. Makes my mouth water just thinking about it, reckon you'd give Bettie a run for her money,

Phil

[Ange]

Bloody brilliant Mr Bizz! I feel silly now when I think of all that time I've wasted in the past messing around with flour, sugar, butter and eggs.