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Special needs children on boats


SilverGilt

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I've already decided to put a "Lifejackets always ondecks" rule in force on whatever boat I choose, but I wonder if anyone has any experience with having special needs children on boats. My ex will have full custody but my is obsessed with boats, and cars, loves swimming and water and I'd like to be able to take him onboard occasionally, even if just moored up. However I'd like to hear if anyone has experience with special needs children on board as I imagine there's quite a bit to consider. If it's too daunting I guess I'll rent a hotel room somewhere!

 

Thanks.

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I have no real experience of Autism but it would be such a shame to deny your child the opportunity to visit or even cruise with you on your boat. Perhaps you would need some friends along to help with the boat while you take care of him/her.

Edited by Breals
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It really depends on your child. "Special Needs" is a label which covers a wide range of conditions.

Certainly, we have had visually impaired children on board who are also in the autistic spectrum.

 

Was there anything in particular you needed to do that? Did they stay belowdecks only or were they allowed to walk about above with a lead? Autism itself is a spectrum so it's hard to say really what he can and cannot do, let alone how it will be in a year, just wondered if there were things in particular (i.e. wearing lifejackets, staying moored rather than attempting to cruise, etc) people may have had experience in. I can then take it on board in my head and have a few more ideas.

 

The idea of having friends help would be a good one as well as I've several friends who work with autistic children who'd also love to cruise around on a boat! Even the ex could come round as we get on rather well if we wanted a cruise. It's the safety I'm a bit more worried about - he tends to wander a bit and having a lock on his door has occured to me, but then I wonder just how safe it is to have locks on doors inside a boat (or maybe I've watched Titanic one too many times).

 

Right enough whittering need to get back to my son now.

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Its a difficult one to answer on a general basis.

You might find it difficult to cope with the needs of the boat

and your son at the same time, especially at moments

like working locks. You might find it useful to have someone

on the boat to look after the needs of your son while you are

looking after the needs of the boat (or vice versa).

 

IMHO Lifejackets are a must for special needs children as they

are usually unaware of danger.

Also, make sure you minimise the trip hazards and ensure there are

adequate guard rails etc.

 

When we have children on board who like to wander, one of their carers

normally sleeps between them and the door, so they can't go for a moonlit

walk without waking the carer. We have moveable beds on castors which

allow them to do this, but presumerably you could rig a camp bed up

to achieve the same result.

 

Hope this helps.

Edited by Golden Duck
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Its a difficult one to answer because able bodied people/non asd's are being asked for their opinion. They are not the ones to ask. Ask those with asd's instead. Some will tell you they dont want lifejackets, there's nothing you can do - others will be quite happy to wear life jackets - especially if ALL the crew is wearing them.

 

Its a difficult one to answer on a general basis.

You might find it difficult to cope with the needs of the boat

and your son at the same time, especially at moments

like working locks. You might find it useful to have someone

on the boat to look after the needs of your son while you are

looking after the needs of the boat (or vice versa).

 

IMHO Lifejackets are a must for special needs children as they

are usually unaware of danger.

Also, make sure you minimise the trip hazards and ensure there are

adequate guard rails etc.

 

When we have children on board who like to wander, one of their carers

normally sleeps between them and the door, so they can't go for a moonlit

walk without waking the carer. We have moveable beds on castors which

allow them to do this, but presumerably you could rig a camp bed up

to achieve the same result.

 

Hope this helps.

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I think you should go ahead and give it a go. I see no reason why you shouldn't share the life with your child, regardless of needs. You know your child and I am sure you will be able to get an idea about what they might need before they arrive. Its a good idea to ensure that you have a crew to do the works so you can spend the time with your kid showing them the 'ropes'. You could start off with lunch onboard, rather than a cruise and then go along to the locks to watch other boats going along, and if you took your windlass you could help the boaters out as they go through (if they want help). Getting used to a new environment may be enough for the first time.

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Its a difficult one to answer because able bodied people/non asd's are being asked for their opinion. They are not the ones to ask. Ask those with asd's instead. Some will tell you they dont want lifejackets, there's nothing you can do - others will be quite happy to wear life jackets - especially if ALL the crew is wearing them.

 

Not necessarily. While it won't help much of someone has never had experience with special needs children to give up commentary, I have had some good tips here already from people who work with or are familiar with special needs. My son may not want a lifejacket, but he's jolly well going to wear one anyway! Autism doesn't mean "get away with whatever I want" in my house. Yes, Mum leads by example, which helps with the arguments :angry: but I hadn't really considered the other aspects, and was glad to get a few pointers.

 

So again, thanks everyone!

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You don't say how old your son is, and it isn't clear how autistic he is. My son has asperger's syndrome and the degree of his autistic behaviour can vary from day to day, depending upon levels of stress and tiredness. However, he is 17 and a competent swimmer, I have no concerns whatsoever about him being on the boat. The only rule we have is that if he doesn't feel like doing locks he doesn't have to - thereby allowing him to monitor his own levels of stress/ concentration/ boredom, etc.

 

One thing I would say is that it is important for him to understand about change well in advance of it happening. Even enjoyable things can be too much for him to cope with (sensory overload, when he can't cope with all the new information coming in). When he has moved from one school to another it has been necessary to let him come to terms with it in small doses, and to monitor or oversee him (discretely from a distance) when he did his first walk home from middle school - or his first solo bus trip to the nearest big town, and so on.

 

How about making your son's first visit when you are moored, then discussing a short trip with him, and building up from there? I would suggest that if you are worried about him wandering about while you are steering it is important to have other, competent, adults on board, and be ready to abandon anything at short notice should it be necessary.

 

Most autistic people are happiest when there are clear rules that make it easier to understand the complex world around them - although they may tend to get very didactic about them, and upset if other people don't stick to them. So if your son understands that he must always wear a lifejacket, then you probably won't have too many problems with this.

 

All the best with it, I'm sure your son will love it.

 

Best wishes

 

Catrin

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You don't say how old your son is, and it isn't clear how autistic he is.

He's only three at the moment (I won't have a boat for a year maybe two). We don't know actually how autistic he is on the spectrum- he's having his first CFS assessment the end of the month, but as far as what other specialists and professionals have said, it's gone from Aspergers, to mild, to moderate...each time it feels like I'm being kicked in the chest. But that's another story.

 

*snip*

 

 

All very brilliant points, I really do think starting out moored, let him rush about safely and explore the space at his own pace a few times (as he's a wanderer) would help considerably, and then slowly introduce other things. Thank you so much for your input.

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Hi

 

I have no experience with Autism and would not wish to tell you what to do and you may have already thought of this.

 

As he is only three and you can cope with him, and the boat is in the future, why not start to introduce him to the canals now.

 

To all of you out there with children with special needs you have my utmost respect and admiration.

 

Please take this in the way it is meant with love and not condescension.

 

 

Edit: typo

Edited by bottle
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As well as skippering the boat, I also teach canoeing and I paddle with a teenage boy with aspergers every few weeks. Your words are very familiar to me.

We have progressed in well defined steps and we always discuss what we are going to do before we do it, so there are no sudden surprises. I have found that clear and literal instructions seem to help (none of this "when I nod my head, hit it !" type instructions).

 

For the first few weeks (when the weather was warmer), he enjoyed spending more time in the water than on it, but now he is paddling his own boat and loving it.

 

Today, we paddled a backwater on the river which involved negotiating a lot of obstructions like low hanging branches, logs in the water, gravel shallows, etc and he asked when we could do that again.

 

Although, there are behavioural similarities, every child is different and I am still learning.

 

You don't say how old your son is, and it isn't clear how autistic he is. My son has asperger's syndrome and the degree of his autistic behaviour can vary from day to day, depending upon levels of stress and tiredness. However, he is 17 and a competent swimmer, I have no concerns whatsoever about him being on the boat. The only rule we have is that if he doesn't feel like doing locks he doesn't have to - thereby allowing him to monitor his own levels of stress/ concentration/ boredom, etc.

 

One thing I would say is that it is important for him to understand about change well in advance of it happening. Even enjoyable things can be too much for him to cope with (sensory overload, when he can't cope with all the new information coming in). When he has moved from one school to another it has been necessary to let him come to terms with it in small doses, and to monitor or oversee him (discretely from a distance) when he did his first walk home from middle school - or his first solo bus trip to the nearest big town, and so on.

 

How about making your son's first visit when you are moored, then discussing a short trip with him, and building up from there? I would suggest that if you are worried about him wandering about while you are steering it is important to have other, competent, adults on board, and be ready to abandon anything at short notice should it be necessary.

 

Most autistic people are happiest when there are clear rules that make it easier to understand the complex world around them - although they may tend to get very didactic about them, and upset if other people don't stick to them. So if your son understands that he must always wear a lifejacket, then you probably won't have too many problems with this.

 

All the best with it, I'm sure your son will love it.

 

Best wishes

 

Catrin

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I've already decided to put a "Lifejackets always ondecks" rule in force on whatever boat I choose, but I wonder if anyone has any experience with having special needs children on boats. My ex will have full custody but my is obsessed with boats, and cars, loves swimming and water and I'd like to be able to take him onboard occasionally, even if just moored up. However I'd like to hear if anyone has experience with special needs children on board as I imagine there's quite a bit to consider. If it's too daunting I guess I'll rent a hotel room somewhere!

 

Thanks.

 

Hi SG,

My daughter has mild aspergers and she loves the boat, whenever she is stressed she comforts herself by hiding in the house, with the boat we take the house with us (does that make sence) so she can enjoy the ever changing scenery and the travelling and still feel safe. Depends on the severity of the condition I suppose, take an extra pair of hands/eyes to superivise.

Regards,

Ally p.

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SilverGilt,

 

Long before my son had his diagnosis, we just knew he needed different treatment. It was clear he needed to take things very slowly, and be very sure of things. He has always needed to understand things and get them clear in his head, there was never any point in pushing him into things before he was ready. This is still true now.

 

I'm sure that you will find that your son has much greater potential than it may seem at the moment. Remember that just because someone is autistic does not mean that they have no abilities. Professor Temple Grandin who has completely revolutionised animal handling in the US is autistic and was not able to speak until she was four or five. It is her 'autistic' perception of things that has made her able to understand animals (her book 'Animals in Translation' has helped me to understand some aspects of autism better).

 

It is not long ago that I read in a report that my own son would continue to need considerable support throughout his school career. I thought he would be unable to get through GCSEs or be able to work. He is now halfway through his A levels and we are discussing degree courses (in slow, careful steps - to relatively local colleges).

 

Bottle,

 

Thank you for your kind words. It has been enormously difficult at times, but as my son has got older he has got better able to cope with things. We have also learned how to avoid problems, and what to do when things do happen. Often the problem is not with him, but with other people. He has said 'it is a disability, not a visibility', but has also said that he would reject any kind of visible badge or sign that would warn people that he is autistic. The truth is if he wasn't autistic he wouldn't be him.

 

Love etc

 

Catrin

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I have asperger's syndrome and reguarly helm the boat single handed though locks while my other crew member (my grandad) is seting the lock ahead.

- Im 19, and have been in and around boats of types since i can remeber.

- Quite how relevent that is i dont know! I dont know a huge amount about it tbh, other than the fact that even asbergers itself contains a HUGE spectrum of ablity.

 

 

 

Daniel

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Funnily enough on my last trip I discovered that one of my friends who came with me has Aspergers - I think like you Daniel he is at the milder end of the spectrum... In fact is Aspergers just part of the spectrum of what we call normality anyway?

 

I think Aaron really struggled with his Aspergers in his childhood and teens, but now he runs his own landscape gardening business and despite his slight eccentricities, you would never guess that he had any sort of so called syndrome. And he was perfectly at home in charge of the boat, as I expected he would be.

Edited by Breals
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In fact is Aspergers just part of the spectrum of what we call normality anyway?

 

 

When I told one of my colleagues that my son had Aspergers he said - "well aren't all men a bit autistic anyway?". There is a theory that autism is an extreme form of the 'male brain', which makes quite a lot of sense to me.

 

Best regards

 

Catrin

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My five year old son has just recieved his statement of special needs. He hasn't been formally diagnosed with autism yet but it is expected.

 

When he was 2 days old he left hospital and moved onto our 53 year old wooden butty. Since then he has spent no more than 10 days on dry land.

 

He hasn't fallen in yet and is aware of the potential wetness when he does.

 

Both my, and my partner's, family all expected us to sell our boats and get a house when his special needs were identified. Obviously because of the 'safer' environment a house offers.

 

My response is simple, when (not if) he falls in I know I have a fair amount of time to get in and get him out. If he runs out of my front door he meets soft, wet water. When he runs out of a house front door he meets roads, cars and danger. I live a mile from the nearest metalled road. Give me a boat anytime.

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My five year old son has just recieved his statement of special needs. He hasn't been formally diagnosed with autism yet but it is expected.

 

When he was 2 days old he left hospital and moved onto our 53 year old wooden butty. Since then he has spent no more than 10 days on dry land.

 

He hasn't fallen in yet and is aware of the potential wetness when he does.

 

Both my, and my partner's, family all expected us to sell our boats and get a house when his special needs were identified. Obviously because of the 'safer' environment a house offers.

 

My response is simple, when (not if) he falls in I know I have a fair amount of time to get in and get him out. If he runs out of my front door he meets soft, wet water. When he runs out of a house front door he meets roads, cars and danger. I live a mile from the nearest metalled road. Give me a boat anytime.

 

It would be a shock to the waterways pardigm to know just how many of us are disabled: aspergers (or one of the other asd's) deaf, partialy sighted, asthmatic, in wheelchairs, have mobility problems, etc. I think we're all coming out of the woods now. Its a real good thing. This thread is nice to read too, and encouraging. None of that 'Hey Roger this is heavy stuff' either! I chuff at the idea that a five year old child aspie should live on land, and I agree with Carlt entirely that the waterways actually provides a safer environment than living in a house. Just because we're 'disabled' dont mean we cant not do things - see the ability not the percieved disability - its society with its 'normal' attitudes that is the real disability.

Edited by roger
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