2 nights at 2 boats

[Evo]

Thought I would do another of these sort of blogs...helps me remember the trips

 

Friday Afternoon

 

This is going to be our first little cruise of the year....My entire wardrobe has been stuffed into a bin liner and rammed into the boot of our Fiesta along with 4 days grub, a crate of beer, and a tiny selection of her Wardrobe - amazingly her bag looks the same size as mine.

 

We arrive at the mooring, its pissing down, we offload, its still pissing down and now the wind has picked up. We have a cup of tea.

The boat behind Fires up, a couple of boats further down the mooring are allready running. I fire up Rebecca..for a moment I can see sod all, I'm engulfed by a blue/white hellish fog. The Diesel stink clears, and surprise surprise - Its still pissing down, it didn't seem to be raining in the horrible fog.

I feel like we are on the grid of some 80's truck race..all these van engines ticking over waiting to go....I shout "we going or what..?? I dont mind getting wet"

 

She shouts back "Yeah......Go for it, I'll sort everything out in here"..."Hmm, Thought you might"..."What was that"...."Nothing"...The big hand hit the 12 for 2 O'clock...BRRM BRRRM were off...chug chug.

 

We have decided after mucho deliberation - but not much looking at those horrible chevron things on a Nicholson - that we are going to Long Itchington - of course Via Braunston. The boat is moored at a farm Coventry side of Brinklow...so we go through Rose at Brinklow where 10 boats are all lined up being prepared...blimey I hope this dammed weather picks up for everyone...especially me.

 

For us now its down the old familiar stretches to Rugby - I might aswell of swam to Newbold I was that wet and cold. It suddenly stopped raining....Oh shit we're in the tunnel thats why...nice lights though eh. When we came out it actually did stop raining but way too late for me....I was about to go hypothermic. "We'll just get through Hillmorton and park up, then I'll get the Chilli on" she says...."O k k ey dooo k k ey". We fly up the 3 locks and then...!!! "WTF..Hey up duck, looks like they've had a Sunami here..look at that..!! its sunk". We chugged passed What I now know is Boatbots boat...very grim....We tootle on for approx 1/2 mile and park up.....I immediately hog the bathroom and have a red hot shower, awesome.

 

Marie-Annes done the Chilli, so grub followed by a couple of beers, QI, Mock the week, another QI...zzzzzzzz.

Edited April 9, 2010 by Evo

[Evo]

Saturday Morning

 

Wake up about 7:00 and remember instantly the soggy ground we moored on last night, so a quick gorp out the port hole to make sure the mooring pins haven't been sucked out and left us broadside across the cut. Nope fine. It seems quite sunny, blimey. "Get up Mrs your turn for tea, 1 sugar please"...."Sod off...!!!". "OK, I'll do it"..."No, I'll do it, dont start climbing over me".Hee, hee that worked then..!

 

So we are just south of Hillmorton locks and we want to be parked up at Long Itch near the Two Boats about tea time. Might aswell get gowing. Hmmmm Rebecca's not starting that well for some reason....tons of smoke and will only slow idle...strange. Bollox, I remember now, I put those dammed old heater plugs in when I was experimenting with timer relays.. this is what it used to do before...what a cretin....wheres the originals...??? arghh no..!! there in my scabby old jacket pocket at home. Crap. 3rd try though and she's up and running properly....magic.

 

I set off towards Braunston heading basically South East straight into quite a fierce head wind. I'm wearing just my fleece but I'm OK to start with, after an hour or so though the cold wind has penetrated bone deep, I'm bloody freezing. Even though it warmed up through the morning I was still looking more and more like a corpse. Now what do I need from Swindlers..hehe..be there in a minute..hmmm.

 

NO CHANCE, as we approach Braunston its the usual chaos. Moored boats right up to the bend with the droopy willow tree. Get there and find a boat on the water point on the opposite bank and what with that and the moored boats theres only room for one and of course theres another boat comming from the other direction. Holy crap. He waves me through though and as I immerge into Swindlers parking lot there are 3 boats breasted up waiting to get through where I'd just come from....arrgh sod it..so I turn immediately right and carry on our way. Suddenly a massive great working boat comes chugging round the other side of the Triangle at exactly the same time. Oh nooo, I'd better hit the brakes, he's just in front. Hey I think I recognised that bloke,no it cant be, anyway we end up following him all the way to Calcutt. At first it was great, we were going along at normal pace, the guy on the boat in front kept looking round, it might be him.

 

This stretch went on for ages, I didn't remember it being this long. Oh well, we're hopping along with that big bugger in front just fine no problem. Suddenly though everything comes to grinding halt we've run up the back of someone who only wants to do 2mph....very, very frustrating. NO really really really frustrating, in fact I'm boiling up again just writing about it. Painful, painful. Theres now 3 of us all queued up behind him. Another Sunken boat down that stretch....whats with all these boats sinking, Crikey.

 

We finally arrive at the turn onto the Grand Union and we all follow the 'slow bloke to Calcutt'. "This is painful duck, and I'm still freezing, shall we stop here and have a fry up". "Oh yes, we didn't have breakfast did we". I'm on the bank tying up when The lady from the old boat in front comes along and says were stopping if you want to go ahead"....."No thanks, we're stopping aswell, I'm starving and freezing and he's going too slow". Bloke off the boat is staring at me....suddenly it comes to me...Its Steve from Brinklow boats. We shake hands and he Says "I'd got to stop... I couldn't go that bloody slow anymore, I've had to keep knocking it out of gear". We had nosh and then went down the 3 locks with Steve and his family. Steve, incedently, and his

buddies from brinklow boats Simon & co, are the guys that put the new trad top on our boat, and it was on their yard that it was all shot blasted,epoxied, and foamed. The boat was moored there for some time aswell. Its an amazingly small world...all the boats that were out at easter and we end up following someone I know. I dont know many people with boats.

Edited April 9, 2010 by Evo

[RLWP]

Keep it coming. You're boating on one of our regular stretches, so I can pull pictures out of my head to match your anecdotes!

 

Richard

[Evo]

Saturday Afternoon

 

Just before Calcutt is Napton reservoir...it looks a very desolate place compared to how it was 35 years ago. My dad used to take us fishing there when I was a kid, even in the winter it seemed busy. There was a sailing club with a clubhouse and boathouse on one lake and little sail boats were always out. Both the huts are gone now and not a boat in site. 1/4 of the lake is infested with weed. Back then (1970-74) we used to fish the canal or lock if the ressy was slow. I dont remember seeeing a single boat go

through in all the times we were there....a bit different now eh..!!

 

Anyhow as we leave the last lock Steve says you go first our mooring is just along here, so off we go. I must admit the size of the marinas in this area is frightening. Ventnor farm is huge, and calcutt the other side was massive too. Theres way too many boats in one area. If even 10% of them decided to go out for a cruise it would be bedlam at the locks. I guess the money grabbing farmers dont care about that though eh...get Em in...stack em on top of each other if ya have to.

 

Marie-anne gets the Nicholson out..."hmmm theres a few locks along here you know"....."yeah, I know, after we pass The Boat pub about 5 of them ..? me and the boys cycle down those on our Tuesday night ride"..."Errgh no...theres alot more than that, in fact we've got 10 to do before Long Itch"...."Bloody hell, looks like we're on our own aswell."

 

We pass the weirdest looking boat I have ever seen...I still dont know what it is and why its the shape it is. Thin and square at the front and rear, fat and round in the middle, no paint, no windows, and a sort of gun turret looking lid in the top.....maybe RLWP knows what it is.

 

As it happened we weren't on our own, a really nice bloke and his family with a very nice looking Napton Boats hire boat (it had a sliding roof centre section) went down with us. We were lucky, we had a very straight forward decent of the Stockton flight with another boat and pratically no one else about..excellent. They moored up at the Blue Lias pub, we carried on through the next 2 locks and found a spot just before the TWO BOATS (pub of course).

 

I haven't mentioned it yet but Beryl the Peril and Freddie the Frog are comming tomorrow. (Marie-annes mum and her buddy). Things are about to start happening, I just know they are...!!! The Idea of Long Itch was to enable them to join us for a day. We could cruise upto Radford Smelly and back, we then moor at the TWO BOATS again for the night....Excellent plan.

 

We have a great mooring on the hard stuff just before the pub (dead easy to find) so i have now got some time to kill but its started raining, so it has to be inside . I know I'll modify the toilet, I want to swing it round 45 degrees to make it easier to use. Without getting nasty and messy, even for me doing a number 2 in there is hard work. The plan originally was that someone could be having a crap and not block the passageway up. Its Never happened like that though, everyone shuts the doors to the corridor and turns the bog into the full bathroom, so it would make sense to swing the toilet round to face into the room. I've gotta say it was just about posible teh old way for a small bloke , but who wants to sit in broom cupboard having a crap.

 

Slacken the massive Jubilee clip and just rotate it round on the base I thought. OH YEAH...!!! I started and everything went wrong, so as it was my turn to make the tea I went and did that instead.

 

Nice big Stew with steak and Kidney and tons of chopped up veg. Right that'll be about an hour...now then back to this bog. a voice pops up "I need a wee, have you finished yet ?"...."Err.. nearly".

 

First of all I cant get the dammed plastic shroud off, I finally do that and slacken the clip but the bog wont rotate, I apply some force and something happens..it moves...haha right nip it up ..job done...try a flush..shit water everywhere..oh god....I get some encouragement from the setee at the front.."Whats happening in there, you better not have knackered it my mums comming tomorrow".

Bloody hell Whats happened now.??..I'll have to get it off completely...whizz big jubilee off and pull out flush pipe..open shower curtain and dump bog in there for a bit.

Right lets have a look at this...oh..theres a sticky up lug to locate toilet in the proper position...I go and get the bread knife and chop that off...next theres a hole in the gasket that lines up with a hole in the bottom of the bog..I dont think we need to bother with that. Right lets give it another try. haha thats better, thank you god, right stick the shroud back on...funny..it dont fit anymore....go and get the bread knife back and make some mods to shroud....perfect. "It's all done duck, what do you think..??" ... "yeah looks OK"..."go on then give it try"..."well bugger off then". There was actually a slight leak on the isolator tap now but I kept that quiet. I just kept nipping back with some kitchen towell and drying it up occasionally. Fix that later.

 

Right, everything done, grub polished off, bit of a read and a Sudoku, lets go to the pub. There is live entertainment on - a sort of lounge singer - and he's not bad. The Guiness starts disappearing like I've had my throat cut and she's on Red Stripe, pretty soon we've reached the stage where we aren't going to be leaving in a hurry. We had a really good night, got a bit pissed, sang along a bit, and only had 50yds back to the boat about midnight. When back on board I slipped into the bog unnoticed and mopped up around that dammed tap again. Fix that in the morning.

Edited April 9, 2010 by Evo

[Evo]

Sunday morning.

 

Well whats happened to the weather, lovely and sunny first thing, mind you I only noticed because I got up for a pee, went straight back to bed though, and finally got up quite late. We are expecting Beryl at 10.00 but I'm not holding my breath.

 

Surprise surprise I can see them walking towards us about 10:30. However, Theres been an incedent of course...!!!

 

She got involved in a squable in the car park with the Landlord of the pub. Well I say got involved, it was her and freddie that were actually the problem. He objected to them parking their car in his car park and going off walking their dogs. He got quite upset about it apparently and the only way they could appease him was to promise to use the pub later....blimey USE it We'd practically drank it dry the night before. They get to the tow path and of course turn right, not left, and go for 10mins in the wrong direction.

 

Anyway, they are here now, we are all set and ready to go, they announce they want to get off again and walk the dogs for the first bit. OK...OK..OK... They jump off and are a little ahead, but the towpath turns to mush and we soon pass them. Next minute they've caught us up and want to get back on board....apparently Beryl has upset someone else...she's been well and truly told off for not picking up all of her dog shit. She had actually picked it up with her tissue but put it in the hedge because she'd not got her poo bags with her. This bloke went absolutely potty apparently. Became quite nasty, and appeared on the brink of a coronary.

 

Oh well...a normal Sunday morning for Beryl then....have a fight, get lost, Turn up late, and finally turn someone into a jibbering idiot.

 

We dont go far and another flight of locks appear...Bascote. First is a staircase of two, followed by 2 ordinary single locks. These 3 take a while because we are in a queue. Its chaos at the staircase, but not to worry theres some hoity toity women taking charge. Lots of "I says" and "You go over there"..."WILL you wait here"...."Sit...!!!....I said SSSITTT".

We'd started off just a little bit late and were now parked up behind a pair of boats full of scouts. This old boiler from some other boat was in her element...."I'm in charge...!!! I'm in charge..!!!"..."Look at me ..!!! Look at me..!!! Well sod that I drive round the corner and screw her right up. "Oh I say What has that idiot come round for...!!!"

Luckily she had to leave...hubby was through the locks and on his way. She didn't want to, but thank god she left. What is that poor blokes life like...holy crap.

Anyway the scouts are on a couple of hire boats and their leaders are proficient enough not to need her help or anyone elses and soon sort themselves out....we are off again, but slowly, having to refill the locks each time....We have company though so its no problem.

We are through Bascote, then the next and the next, Fosseway locks, untill, with the sun out and an easy armco mooring visible we stop for lunch. Marie-Anne had roasted a big Ham in the oven whilst my stew was cooking last night, I love those big roasted hams.

Basically we had a great big salad, with Freddies Summer pudding to follow...arrrgh thats better. What hangover...?

 

Sunday afternoon

 

We've only got Offchurch lane lock to do...there was a restaurant boat moored there at one time, I dont know how well he did, but he's not there now. I used to cross the bridge twice a day going to work and back in the late eighties/early nineties. That seems like yesterday - but its not is it".

 

Theres a winding Hole just round the corner and we turn around...crikey nearly went straight passed it, it was hard to spot , you wouldn't believe that would you, I mean a great big 70 odd foot wide bit, but it was sort of hidden. Two lads were fishing in it and I made a right old mess - that bloody wind....once it gets you, thats it, right we are going over there then. Finally get round and park up at the same lock we just came through...its got rubbish bins and she wants to off-load.

 

Poor old Marie-anne now had her work cut out...we are definately on our own. Even Beryl who's done loads of locks on her own never moved off the boat, she's got an injured shoulder - so she says...!!! over vigorously stirring her tea..?? particularly heavy lump of fruit in her yoghurt...?? Seriously I do believe her, "rotating" something or other she's got.

Unfortunately, for some reason all locks are full and need emptying....about 25 turns on those stiff WWII mine looking things and its not until we get to Bascote that she has help. She's not comming anywhere near me tonight, she'll be well pumped - and have a humungus 'vice like' grip....sod that...!!

 

 

Ah Well here we are again - The TWO BOATS - I'm going to moor up this side of the bridge this time. My so called crew are off, racing up the towpath, I haven't even locked up yet. Then they suddenly realise this is where Beryl upset that bloke this morning...."Hurry up you, we might need some protection" I just lock the cabin door and leave the rest of the back open. Off to the pub...Trouble is Marie-anne and me never came back..!!! Once Beryl had made herself known to the Landlord, had a glass of wine, keeping her promise to him, they were off.

We reflected on the day, the boat, the kids, the usual shit,whilst all the time this bloke was setting up his mics, keyboard, and guitars.

The Guiness and Red-Stripe were flowing again..!!! We had another good night that went on late...Stroll along back to boat about midnight....hmmm what we having for tea then duck. "chilli/rice/Stew/ French stick, followed by summer pud". "Sounds great to me..!!!"

 

Wake up early hours of morning to hear rain, I force myself to get up and cover the back up....urrrgh.!!!!

 

Wake up again, this time its to the Butlins Tannoy man, right above my head, "YOUR FRONT PINNNN HAS COME ADRIFT, HELLLLOOOO, YOUR FRONT PINNNN HAS COME ADRIFT" followed by total silence....."what the hell was that..!!..who was he shouting at"...."Its normally "MORNING CAMPERS" isn't it..??" says Marie-Anne..."No, its normally COME IN NO.7 YOUR TIME is UP".

Edited April 12, 2010 by Evo

[Jamboat]

More, more ! Best laugh I've had for ages, did you get the leak fixed

[Evo]

Monday morning

 

I Jump up, get dressed, look out the port hole, and sure enough its our PEEEEN that has come adrift. The fronts allready poking out so I go up the front and weigh anchor (pull pin out of water and chuck it on the front). Pull up the rear pin and chuck that onboard, fire her up, into gear and off, all took about 30secs from getting out of bed. I regretted it instantly of course, I wasn't wearing anything substantial, no hat no coat, and I was instantly getting cold. Still, eventually, when the St Bernard arrived with a cup of tea and all my clothing, I was fine.

 

The engine had still taken 2 goes to burst into life (and clouds of smoke), we will be passing BMC specialists Calcutt today...hmm...think I'll bite the bullet and buy some new heater plugs.

 

In the mean time its lock no.1 almost immediately...all on our own again....Marie-anne could normally drive these days but doesn't like being in the big wide locks on her own. We get up that and head for the Stockton flight. All is still very quiet and its not really that early in the morning. We go up the first lock and are sitting in the second when I see another boat going into the first, sod it we'll wait here, no point in them having to empty every lock following us. So NB Albert joined us and Marie-Anne got some help, and I didn't have to keep jumping off holding a rope. We went up the whole flight together, and of course chatted about various things. I asked about the Thames ring and wether she had ever done it...."Oh yes" she said , "twice, brilliant, but takes you 3 weeks. Well it did us, and we didn't stop that much". From what she was saying, we aren't going to make it in a fortnight....Marie-annes going to want to stop all the time.....I'm going to want to stop all the time. We'll have to have a 3 week holiday next year...shame eh..!! I dont think so..!! haha

 

We left Albert and her crew and carried on to find a mooring for breakfast...I was starving. Pulled in on the armco just passed Kate boats, and had a lovely Fry up.

 

Simple enough cruise now back to Calcutt, but the winds picked up. I'm following someone round the bend to the first lock when the wind across the corner gets him and shoves him towards, and pins him against, the bank. Incredible force. I slide in behind him with the same problems with the wind. The lock gates open and a brave sole in a Hire boat crawls out. No, No give it some welly and start turning....clasp head in hands.....he's gonna stick his nose into that wind, the winds gonna hit him and he'll be on our laps before he knows it. It was even sooner than that...he ended up pinned against the wall in front of the bloke infront of me.

The bloke in front now had his head in his hands...."whats up..???" I say "I was just wondering how many times this bloke thinks its ok to hit my boat". He replies. The poor sod in the hire boat couldn't get off us.,,,he just bumped his arse along us until he was clear. Me and the guy in front now had to get in the lock...painful. When we came out to the next one and had to wait on the side for a bit we devised a new plan..well not intentionally actually, it just sort of happened. We stuck together side by side and went in very fast...excellent plan and Marie-Anne said that at one point we actually looked like we knew what we were doing. haha. In and out the last lock and park up.....its Chandler time...rub hands together.

 

"I'll wait here"..."OK, wont be long, just want some heater plugs". "Get some milk".."OK boss". I positively skip over the lock and into Calcutt chandlers....Huh whats happened here...its half the size. They've got milk and my plugs so 10 mins later I'm back on the boat. "you Allright..? she says "Yeah, couldn't wait to get back to you dear". She really is that dim sometimes, well maybe not, but she hides it well. Cuppa tea time.

 

Monday Afternoon

 

Right, jump up, lets get going...."you want to go to Swindlers dont you"..."Nope....well if the moorings empty It would be rude not to stop".

 

Well for a change absolutely nothing happened, we cruised all the way back to Braunston just talking about various things and watching the poor sods comming the other way. The wind was now behind us and with the rear doors shut we was OK. It must of been very cold going straight into the chill wind though.

 

We arrived at Midland Swindlers and the mooring was available so performed an exquisite swing left and reverse..and glided into position...tie up....come on then. This is when I was informed about the Alde 10 year life expectancy and all that, so not such a great visit...also found out the price of wooden port hole liners...holy shit....right I'm making my own from solid, I'll cut some slices from that tree stump when we get back I think to myself".

 

We leave Swindlers and head out of Braunston looking for a mooring for the night...I go about half a mile and moor up using the pins. I disappear in the engine hole to fit my new heater plugs, Marie-Anne fires up the genny and starts vaccing up. I immerge from the hole and am sort of disorientated, we dont seem to be on the bank anymore, we are generally floating about half across the cut...oh crap those useless pins have come out again. I rush around re-fitting the tiller and pulling the pins out the water, I am soon on the move again though. Another half a mile and theres some lovely armco...!! Surely she must of noticed we'd moved. Oh well. Lets see how she starts in the morning now. "Whats for tea...??" .... "Ham,Pate,Chicken,salad"..."lovely".

 

"Oh damn..!!, I should of got a new bog tap when I was in Swindlers"..."Why, what's wrong with the old one..??"....."Nothing...!!".....etc...etc

[Evo]

Tuesday

 

We set off Tuesday morning knowing its our last day and its back to work tomorrow, but we put a brave face on knowing its only the first outing of the year and there will be more to come. Weekends at the Greyhound Sutton Stop, and Coventry Basin for example. In fact thinking of that cheered me up....not like the last time when it was the end of a 2 week cruise and we were not likely to go again for a while, I was practically crying in my beer then. The weather was slightly warmer and less windy which made for quite a pleasant trip back. Everything was going exceptionally well. Hillmorton locks was unbelievable, passing someone comming up at the same as you go down dont half make it easy...lock gates open just drive in for both of you. It was that easy I thought we'd stop for Breaky. Scrambled egg and stuff.

 

It was real easy, no one in the tunnel, no one pulling out the marinas, first in all the "bridge hole duals"..slight wait at the swing bridge at Rose for 2 boats comming through, but then Home. Job done.

 

"Right Duck, I'll stop here and get that poxy Alde out, give me till 7:00 then come back and pick me up". So Marie-anne buggers off and I start work...

Blimey it was one of those jobs that your dreading but turns out to be unbelievably easy. I suppose I did fit it in the first place, but that was over 10 years ago. Drain system, 2 securing screws at the front, 2 pipe connections, 1 gas connection, undo elec connector, slide up flew pipe and slide complete boiler unit out. 15 mins...20 with draining the system. Still cant see

where its leaking, oh well I'll take it home and strip it.

 

Whilst I've started I'll flush out the entire system, so I go to the back and lift up the rear most floor hatch...oh my god its full of water, I go to the next hatch and lift that, even more water, oh no wheres that come from..??? How longs it been there...?? doom and gloom...!!!

 

I know what your thinking...!!!! its that leaky bog tap....!!!! noooooh...hahaha...that stopped leaking all by itself the next day...unusual, but true. I'm really scratchin my head on this one. The only thing thats happened was a mishap in a leaky lock last year..water from the middle of a badly leaky lock gate blasted in all over the place on one of our trips, but I hadn't thought it had made it into the cabin....it must have...oh well I spent an hour getting it all out with sponges and a bucket. 10 2 gallon bucket fulls..!!! my spare pump is at home...Doh.

 

Everything is fixed now....boiler welded up...floor all dried out....new taps for water shut off and bog...She's raring to go again...!! so are we..!!! but for.......................bloody work.

Edited April 14, 2010 by Evo