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1st 2 wks in 10yrs


Guest z1100r

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I just had my first 2 week holiday - last one was 10 years ago.

 

Not long bought the boat off the in-laws

 

The planning went like this:- Me her etc.

 

"Wahay...lets go..!!!!!"

" Where" she says

"...huh..errrm...errrm...lets go up the Nene, not done that before".

Do a bit of research - got to buy another license...

"s*d that for now"

"lets do the Avon ring again"

"NAh we did that last time"

"oh for gods sake I dont care...lets just go....which way is the boat pointing"

"right we're doing the Leicester ring the opposite way round to last time....get yourself up Tesco's lets go. oh Bottled beer only please ..guiness, Stella...oh and some Cider...no wine for me thanks".

"How much do you want..."

"lots".

 

Afternoon 1

Set off in panic mode....going a little faster than I should....gotta make Tusses bridge tackle shop before it shuts or the whole trip will be ruined. Horible realisation sets in..Nuts, not going to make it...curse curse...its gone six...arrrgh s***.

Chug upto Tusses ...its open...oh thank god...7PM closing on Friday in the summer...PHEW.

Rightio lets hit the Greyhound (Sutton Stop).

11:00 Bed....lie there thinking

2 pints of Maggots...3 Pints of Guiness...Ham egg and chips...early bed....Perfect.

 

Day 2

Sun out ... up early....on the move early...fantastic....just the two of us..previously had crews of 6 and always takes that many people ages to get ready to move. Really frustrating....Now I can leave the missus in bed and get moving if I want. Incomming phone call...uh oh...things are too good ...whats happened allready. Mother-in-law would like to spend a day with us and she's bringing her mate - also bring lunch. Hmmmmmmmm. Only got one car...what to do...how to do it. Ahaha "Get your fat A to Market Bosworth in the morning and we will be there, we'll take you to end of the Ashby and back ......OK" Sounds smashing she says. I didn't realise how much of a slog it was going to be to get to Market Bosworth...it was further than I thought and we arrived late 'ish. Up to the chippy for tea....long walk uphill to village centre...painful. Settle down with a cold Cider and have a fish. Dark .. bed.

 

Day 3

Up at 7:00...raring to go...."what time they say they were comming"..."they didn't.".."oh great"....Occupy myself cleaning boat, polishing port holes - was about to start taking the engine out and re doing the entire fit out when a phone call said they weren't far away. TFFT.

 

Oh cr*p they've brought the dogs...hairs everywhere again...!!!

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What happens .... they come all the waydown to the boat to tell us we have to go back to the car for the grub and booze they have brought with them. (whats wrong with your s*dding phone all of a sudden)..Ok the missus does that bit. What next....everyones back at the boat and Beryl ( The mother-in-law ) decides she's left her newspaper in the car and accuses Freddie her mate of doing it deliberately...she must of because she remembered her own. Freddie decides...right..I'll get it then, and stomps off back to the car....these people are 70+.....I'm cool...I'm cool. I have a fag. I had to.

 

Anyway.. we had a great day in the end..went through the tunnel at Shug and had a quick look at the works not going on at this end to extend the canal. Executed a near perfect wind and parked up for some scoff. ooops ...sorry moored up.

Had quite a laugh actually...Lovely Homemade Runner bean and onion chutney and some other stuff she'd made that blew you head off. God I sound as old as them. Sun was out, boat was purring along ..... wind down now ..wind down..relax..haaaaaaaa. ..theyre getting off in a minute ...its bound to be bad....they're bound to take ages....its always lots of useless talk....stop thinking about it....I had a Stella and another fag.

 

Back on our own fairly quick and off to Stoke Golding...I like Stoke Golding....nice pubs...and nice place ...cant finger why i like it so much..I just do. Blimey we got there late...seemed to be miles away from village centre...but we weren't that far really....nice evening walk....nice few pints.

 

Get back to boat to find a hire boat next to us full of Drunk kids....one girl was particularly bad... but - apart from being shocked at how bad girls language is these days - they were OK. Think they all passed out pretty quick, because I never heard a sausage all night....zzzzzzzzzzz..blimey I sleep well on this boat.

 

 

Day 4

 

Right, lets get out of the Ashby and on our way. Lovely morning again....stop at Hinckley Marina for rubbish bin, newspapers, and ...and...and ...nothing really...but it was an OK stop...a stretch of the old legs. Its actually surprising to me how long the Ashby is...so I guess I shouldn't be too shocked at being on the road for 4 days and only got from West Brinklow to East Nuneaton. Stop at Sainsburys in Nuneaton for mega shop....luckily we bought some DVD's of old film classics for wet and windy afternoon Matinees..

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On our way out of the Ashby some bloke on a boat comming the other way shouted over..."you going down the Oxford..??" I got a bit muddled and didn't actually know so I said "yes".....THe chap says "theres a big queue of 20 boats at Sutton stop cos a hire boats damaged the lock."..."Is there..oh dear"...then we turned right...he must of thought I was a right plonker. Anyway back to Nuneaton. Back on board and raid the shopping. Then on the move.

 

"How far we going then Duck...whats the next planned stop..?". "I dont know.!.. I'll get the Nicholson out...where are we...?". "oh for christ sake, about 15mins from home"...stab finger on map.."try Hopwas....its supposed to be dodgy here"...."WHAT..!!!...you better get your head down then" .."Why..??"...."we'll be driving all night...you can take over at 10 ". ..."I'll go inside and have a proper look and make a proper plan shall I." "yeah, good idea, and come back with a cup of tea".

 

As you can see .... I'm chilling allready....and I got my cup of tea....surprisingly.

 

We got to the middle of nowhere before I decided this looks a good place to fish and stopped. "what you doing..??" ...."I'm stopping here". "its a bit early isn't it....?" "We've got a fortnight".

 

I was catching fish like there was no tomorrow...excellent......she got bored and decided to clean the dammed roof. "wheres the bucket...wheres the mop...wheres this ...wheres that..where does this go"...humph...I give in..."lets clean the roof". I'm stopping at a puib tomorrow ..definate.

 

It was a very nice evening again..chucked everything back on the roof...had some top grub...a few beers...and an early night.

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Day 5

 

Atherstone locks today.....first set of proper locks with just the two of us....Now I dont know about others that go with their partners on their own...but what I have mostly found is that the female side of the Duo likes to do the locks....now why is that...in Marie-Annes' case its because she's sh*t scared of driving the boat into the lock and looking a proper chump and getting in a pickle...I wont let her read this bit. We have the usual exchange..."I'll do the lock you drive her in". "Nope, I'll do the lock...i like doing it" "OK". So we proceed as normal, and as usual, there are a few helpers for her, so being down on crew members makes no difference.

 

The second lock was a first for me though...comming up - as it turned out - was a motor and butty. The motor came up and waved me forward to go down. I didn't know what the hell was going on. I got in the lock and a bloody great rope was dangling about all over the place. Then the motor is reversing upto the lock gate. Whats going on here then - I cant see the butty down below yet. Quite interesting..never really thought how they did it...anyway it turned out to be a gaggle of school teachers taking a load of wood somewhere. They have it hard these teachers dont they.

 

Anyhow, locks an absolute doddle...took a while though...forgot how many there are. On the new master plan...we're going to Hopwas. Just your average day on the cut really...Stopped for a Fry up in the morning...guzzled numerous bottles of BudWeiser...dawdled along...Marie-anne had a drive for a bit.

But Then I met the b*tch. There was this boat weaving all over the place in front...I could tell it was a woman cos she kept darting from one side to the other to see where she was going...forgetting she was holding the tiller whilst she did it. Quite frustrating for a while....but eventually she moored up - and the two faced tart that I am - I smiled, waved, and said hello nicely as we tickled past. Thought no more of it.

 

Massive line of boats at Hopwas...seemed to go way passed the pub...started to worry about finding a mooring, but slotted in perfect about 3 corners away. Grub on board then off to pub...Marie-anne had too much wine and got tiddly...she also got very strange went all deep and meaningful and philosophical on me...water off a ducks back...ignore her. I think I did supper that night...best we had all fortnight. Left over Chilli and toast soldiers.

 

Day 6

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Yeah ...Day 6...For 10 minutes it was superb...We'd stopped coventry side of Fradley junction not far from Fradley...but I cant remember exactly where at the moment. Enough in front of that Woman for her not be a problem today.

 

Oh I missed something....we bumped into our old next door neighbours at Hopwas...they were on another boat going in the other direction....Turns out they bougt it new and they'd had it made in China..I was gobsmacked...made in bl**Dy China with a Yanmar chinese engine. My god, whatever next. I became very protective all of a sudden of my old Brumagen boat and BMC motor. B*llox to em. We did inform them of the problems with the lock at Sutton stop...but they said they'd heard it was 50 boats queued up..????

 

Anyway back to Fradley....we are having beautiful mornings...absolutely gorgeous...we'll kick off early and get through first load of locks. As I roll up to the swing bridge at the Junction I notice the water point...we'll have some of that I think...no one about at the moment.

 

Well b*gger me....I get the hose pipe in the hole and guess who chugs by...I thought ..Oh nooooooo!!!.

Not a whole day of that crap.....I cant face it. She was in one of those what appear to be ex canaltime boats...all seem to have there orange rings hanging at the back. She tootled round the corner with engine flat out and stuff churning out the back , and then the back of the boat lifting up 3 foot as she wacked it into full reverse ...lunging over the right side and gorping down the gunnel then 5 quick steps to the left and a gorp down the left gunnel...boat rocking and rolling....She pops in the lock and I thought oh well she will be a good bit ahead now and theres a good number of locks...no problem.

 

However, Whilst I was still filling up with water a queue had formed. I was going off on one at the Marie-anne ..."look at that, that horible woman has just pinched the lock, and now theres a queue"..."I'm sure she didn't pinch the lock...do you want some Jam on toast and a cuppa"...."yeah all right".

 

Join the queue...someone pulls in behind...and a grumpy looking bloke jumps off and walks up to the lock...he doesn't come back. Hmm Looks like 2 gay boys to me...theres no women on the boat...his shorts are too far up his **** for my likeing...what kind of walk is that...oh jesus.

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Dam it ..I missed a day...and not a day I should forget either. We only did about 3 hours and didn't go very far at all....It was the day the weather turned super nasty....I was on the tiller of course at the time..when it started to drizzle a bit...she shot inside and put the kettle on...the drizzle turned to rain...I'll be Ok in my tee shirt it'll stop in a minute..blue sky ahead...I didn't look behind...suddenly a mssive clap of thunder..and a billion golf balls of ice were dumped on me and the boat...madam appeared at the hatch and passed me my big flourescent heavy duty mac..but the hail just kept on comming...she just stood in the back door of the boat laughing at me. Sod this..that'll do for today...not long passed a pub..park it back up again. got even more soaked doing that...unbelievable. Eventually turned back to rain and finally drizzle...

 

I know I'll have a fish...what a session...sod all for an hour then 2 2lb roach. We were in the most non descript bit of narrow canal ever. 15mins later another bite, followed by a massive fight for 20mins and a huge double figure mirror carp..I shouted Marie-Anne to get the landing net..she popped out with a camera instead..."GET THE NET" ..she did ...the fish was ready...everything was going good...until she plunged the net in and started scooping about trying to capture a fish twice the size of the landing net..finally she lunged at my line and twang...gone. Good job there was no one about...no seriously I had a little moan...but then let it go. We had some nosh then walked back to the pub...I had a tale to tell but only Marie-Anne to tell it to..and I did..lots of times.

 

My fingers were dancing on the old texting machine that night...I told everyone.

 

 

 

So what day am I on now...oh yeah... when the weather cleared that women went past.

 

Day 8

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So Then ....back to Fradley Junction.

 

Me and the guy I have presumed is posibly a sausage jockey just nod at each other in aknowledgement of each others existence and wait our turn. We eventually pass through the first lock..the hold up is apparently caused by a couple of "working boats with buttys" going down to Redhill IWA show. I'm finding it more and more difficult to believe what peeps on the canal say though....its now got upto 100 boats stuck at Sutton Stop...yeah yeah. We leave the first lock and chug to the next..."What was that grumpy bloke like".."Grumpy".....we wait at the second ..in an even bigger queue. Marie-Anne jumps off and Grumpy bloke walks by....Shorts man seems to be having bother pulling his boat in against the wind so I go and help him. He's a really nice chap and its an absolute beaut of a boat...I love the bow....and we start talking.

 

Looking back the holiday started there for me really.

 

It was a glorious sunny day and I spent most of my time walking the boat along in queues...Marie-anne came back a few times and told me Grumpy had cheered up and was a real nice chap too. They'd been chatting away. I got the full story...It was Shorts' new boat and his wife..yep wife... had told grumpy to take him on a booze cruise round to the boats first service. I always get it wrong...I wont mention names in case they dont want to be associated with having talked to me. The boat is called FRENCHLANDS..and a stunner.

 

We passed through all the locks....we even passed the "horible women" whilst she was moored for lunch who - as Marie-Anne pointed out - was probably a really nice lady and is totally oblivious to all my chunterings about her. I was still glad we passed her. We'd gone ahead of Shorts and Grumpy and moored up for the night at some pub pretending to be an Italian restaurant....I hate Itallian food. Shorts and Grumpy must of pulled in a bit back on the same moorings...cos there they were in the excuse for a pub - having a meal. We popped in for a pint had a brief chat took one look at the menu and then walked to the chippy in the village....went back to boat ..fished for 15 mins met one of them weird guys who who absolutely hates people touching his boat...strange man. He had earlier watched me reverse into the mooring as I went all the way back down the side of his boat...craning his neck out to make sure I never rubbed his boat....horible man. Talking to the couple behind us..they confirmed he was one of them weirdos...he'd been ranting at someone earlier.

 

We'll have an early start tomorrow and make up some time..

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Day 9...The sea trials..??

 

We was up quite early to bright sunshine yet again. Just having a cup of tea when a boat goes by like a scolded cat....blimey he's moving a bit..!!!!

 

He's flying and long gone...I bet there was a few folk upset by him. He was going faster than he should anyway..let alone on a really narrow bit of cut, along a huge line of moored boats.....Oh well....he wont hold us up...lets cast off and do a bit. Its really nice cruising along 7:30 in the morning sun...Herons, buzzards, and hawks everywhere. I actually saw a black otter like thing...I presume a mink.

 

We Left Branston...through Burton...and came to Wittington...We rounded a bend by a winding hole and suddenly there was a boat comming at us, with this white bearded bloke driving - he looked just like Buster Merry??? off Only Fools. The thing was he was in reverse, going very fast, and totally out of control. There were boats everywhere...I thought if I gas this a bit I'll just miss him - no chance of stopping. I did miss him...or rather he just missed me, however, he carried on unproturbed and torpedo'd this poor chap in a moored canaltime boat....straight into the side of him with a hell of smack. Guy just stood there with his mouth open. Even I could here all the crockery smashing on both boats...He went on to cause more chaos...he was now wedged between moored boats and going like a train...UNBELIEVABLE...I couldn't believe what I was seeing. INCREDIBLE....the odd bit was he didn't seem to give a sh*t. Was pretending he knew what he was doing. Surprised he wasn't linched.

 

We carried on to our first lock...BARROW DEEP..sounds like something from Tolkien. The 6:30 in the morning maniac pulls up behind me...apparently he'd been one of the boats that Gandalf had smacked into at Wittington. He was stopped at the water point at the time. He was pretty peed off about it all....As it happens the locks are doubles and we went down a few of them with this guy and his missus...he was manic...gotta do everything at 100mph....nice bloke and had a laugh with him though. They had retired and lived on their boat and were off to Sawley Marina to look at a new one. Eventually his haste got him infront of us at a lock with someone else...an old boy who was single handed....didn't last long ...next lock at Shardlow the old boy goes "hahaha he's left me too - long gone".

 

We chug along a bit and then ..WOW....its like the sea..."I'm just gonna burn some carbon off me heater plugs duck"...hehehe Under the M1 flat out...that'll do it ...down to normal and tootle into Sawley Cut. I now have a moment of madness and sheer panic.

 

Spot a place on the busy wall....the wind is blowing off the wall considerably....no problem for a man of my helmsmanship skills..I steer in and pull along side - a touch of reverse to stop her ..quick get off grab the centre rope I shout..she does....I quickly follow and take over...the wind gets the rear of the boat...we are both now on the bank and I cant hold it....the boats just ploughing back out....MArie-Anne jumps on the rope to assist....I'm thinking this isn't going to happen....but with super human strength from both of us we overcome it and drag it in...."BLOODY HELL that was close"..I exclaim....she says..."its still going backwards have you left it in reverse"..."oh crap what a tit"..hold this". ..."you Knob".

 

Safely tied up...."look at that" ....manic ex lorry driver is across the other side looking at his new boat...or rather it looks more like he's trying to convince them how good his old one is.

 

Day 10

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Day 10 was great....we got up lateish 9:00 maybe.... we had some breaky....we had a chat with next door neighbour about busses...we went and had a look around Sawley Chandlery...I'm worse than a kiddie in a sweetshop in them places (I NEEEEEEED ONE OF THOSE)..and then we waited at the bus stop...didn't wait long before bus comes...£8.60 to East mids airport...sh*t how much.??....all round the houses and we finally get there. Next bus is going to be 45mins...oh sod that lets get a taxi....£20.

 

WE WERE ONLY GOING TO REDHILL SHOW FROM SAWLEY MARINA.....what did I say about believing canal people ...... we were only round the corner on the boat...it cost me nearly £30 to get there. On the boat we would of been there in 10 minutes for nowt. Some plonker told us it was £50 to park your boat...absolute crap. I was annoyed.

 

Great day though....I bored the pants off the missus talking to HM Plant guys about Isuzu's....they were giving them away..£2700 for a complete unit...thats 42hp 1700cc engine/Newage PRM160/oil coolers/2 alternators/fully marinised. Incredibly (or maybe deliberately) direct swap for BMC with skin tank...it would of been an 'out with the old and in with new for me'...with nothing to do whatsoever...man, I was tempted.....but there's nothing wrong with my BMC its great....its a good job we'd had the sea trials the day before and the old motor had impressed me. They'd found Marie-Anne a chair and one of the other salesman was boring here to death with his life story.

 

All quite amusing after and was an enjoyable hour really.

 

Still cant believe that price...felt like putting one to one side for a hundred years time when the BMC has worn out. Anyway, I got reminded of the cost of the journey into the show when we sat down lunchtime with a couple who'd come from Lincoln on the train for a fraction of what we'd paid. Had 3 pints and good chinwag with those 2......enjoyable. Had a chat with the President guys....whats going on....different boiler ..different engine..toilets, showers, bedrooms....its a different boat aint it. Nice chap though...Nice chap at the Foxton Lock Inclined Plane appreciation society stall aswell.

Bought a few bits and bobs...had a discussion with a bloke about electric powered boats...but I was tiddly then...he may of noticed...not sure.

 

Some plonker tried to sell me a drying off rag for £30..holy crap. I bought two similar things from Sainsburys in Loughboro a couple of days later for a couple of quid.

 

Taxi back.....£13.

 

 

I think we stayed in and watched a flim that night....yeah... Marley and ME Yawn Yawn.

 

Oh well wakey wakey Day 11.

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Fairly late to kick off.....said goodbye to the neighbour who decides now is the time to announce we'd been on someones mooring all the time. Oh well..no harm done. She said it was OK...so if your on here and read this and you moor in front of a 100 year old tug boat with a huge funnel thats for sale ...sorry.

 

We go through the manned lock at Trentlock and up past the Redhill show....which pissed me off even more. "Anyway, up the Soar then Duck".

 

Initially we had a party of girls in a day hire boat wearing pink and lime green lycra. They were quite funny....shouting and squealing on a day cruise they had been doing every year for the last 5 years or so. They were great and no bother at all..competent and safe. They probably wouldn't of tried to send their boat off into the middle of the river whilst they all stood on the bank. :lol:

 

Uneventful until Loughboro...where we suddenly remembered a pub we'd stopped at on our previous Leicester ring in the other direction...amazingly FRENCHLANDS was parked outside...I wonder if shorts and Grumpy are in there..moored up and went in but they weren't..had a coupe of pints anyway and then went shopping.

 

 

My god we did some locks that day....for a river..I didn't remember them from the previous trip...having a reduced crew was showing.

 

The girls stopped at the hire place in Barrow and we cruised on.

 

.... it was late when we moored up on a mooring belonging to a long defunct Indian restaurant. Somewhere near Mount Sorrel. It had been another sunny day but peed down as we moored. Never got off the boat again that day..had a bit of a fish ..caught a load of small chub but lost 2 monsters....and was plagued by a 3 or 4lb Jack pike grabbing everything I caught.

 

 

Next day was going to be the slog through leicester.....lots of warnings about stopping there and god knows what else....I have never feared these places, mainly because everywhere we've stopped has been great. Marie-Anne had done her training there so she held no fears of Leicester, but theres always this nagging thing that someone has had grief....why are all these locks padlocked...blah blah.

 

Oh well lets get some kip.

 

 

 

Day 12 and Leicester ....oooohhh..fear for your life. :lol:

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We get up in the morning and I prepare....I slip into my chainmail underwear(3 day old stuff) and bullet proof life jacket...I get the lead hammer from the wet locker and hide it up by the stern tube greaser. I hang my catapult round my neck and take a knife from the kitchen drawer. I'm ready. I check out the other weapons...3 windlasses, 2 mooring pins, and my willow branch diesel diptick. "If we need to tie anyone up duck I've got more rope that you can poke a stick at."

 

Marie-Anne dons a white capped sleeve T shirt and dark glasses - she just looks plain intimidating.

 

"Ok into Leicester then chucky. Drop the window boards"

 

We take it slow at first...scanning the banks for posible bandits......"dam it, a lock, you drive and dont stop, I'll jump off and get it ready".

 

The whole thing is ruined....theres 2 Indian lads at the lock, they spoil it all by being dead interested in how the lock works and whats going to happen when all the water comes in. I drop my guard and turn into a tour guide...after we are through they say cya and carryon down the towpath.

 

I get back on the boat palms all sweaty, heart racing.... :lol:

 

We carryon through Leicesters darker bits....derelict bits...floating rubbish bits....until finally we are in the city centre area.

 

I actually like this bit....the last time we were here we moored up and the girls all went shopping whilst me Vic and my lad cooked a Pike we'd caught and I got in the water and declagged the pepper pot. (Water exhaust inlet thing).

 

This time we just cruised through...its still nice...and on a sunny day a great place to stop. It was a grey day for us and we'd just had a day off and wanted to make Kilby for the night stop....so we pressed on....through lock after lock..not seeing a single soul...not a boat ..not a native...until at one lock I had another go at demonstating the workings for whole Indian family here on holiday.

 

We reached Kilby..moored up and hit the pub...spoke to a guy on the way down the towpath who said "its paupers night tonight...3 course meal for £8.....I'll see you there".

 

Had a steak and chips..not had one all holiday...of course some beer...and then back for some sleep...this boat makes me sleepy.

 

Just before bed I wiped all the prints off the implements in the armoury.

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Thanks ladies....

Ally, thats not the first time you've shouted that is it.... :lol:

Aira...you'll miss it when its over!!!...I nearly cried when it was over..I did not want to get off this boat.

Alex...I dont know what it means..but.. :lol:

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Thanks ladies....

Ally, thats not the first time you've shouted that is it.... :lol:

Aira...you'll miss it when its over!!!...I nearly cried when it was over..I did not want to get off this boat.

Alex...I dont know what it means..but.. :lol:

 

 

Your holiday adventure sounds really interesting. Intend to do something like this myself when I have saved the funds for a boat. You seem very knowledgeable, is it ok if I use you as a resource?

 

Look forward to your response

Adele :lol:

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day 13 ... Magic boat..and Pirates

 

Its a scorching morning again..in Kilby...Marie-Annes on at me ..."we need water"...."dont forget we need water"..."OK its only over there,.where we going today."

"To get some water".... "bloody hell ...shall we get some water now then." "yes please".

 

Yes we needed water....Bliimey... it took ages and ages and ages....We'd not filled up for a week....not that I'd been a mega user of it...as she pointed out.

 

This time we caused a queue.....A party of Aussies on a Viking Afloat boat appeared from one direction and someone who'd been moored 2 boats up from us came from the other.....but our tank just went on and on filling....it got embarrassing......

"Right Mrs. your peeing in the hedge from now on".

 

"orrr rite sport...is this the bladdy whoarta point" " yes mate ,be finished in a minute......are you from Yorkshire..???".

"Haha...these things are a bagga ta park...thinkI'll just hang ere" .

 

English chap comes up "will you be long..??". ...

 

I was wetting myself....typical...absolutely typical...The difference between Aussies and Brits

 

After a while The busybody Aussie leader decides ....had enough of this ...and shouts from the front "forward mate....lets get gowehin"

 

Eventually we left Kilby....taking all their water with us....not far to first lock. I knew there was a lock and I knew the English bloke at the water point would be comming along soon so I just dawdled along on tickover. Sure enough he arrives and we do the next god knows how many locks together....alot easier ...alot quicker...and alot more fun.

 

He had the best Gizmo (boys toy) ever...a remote control for his boat. He could drive it along sitting in the cratch if he liked....brilliant and spooky. Caught me out everytime...these were another nice couple, he was retired she wasn't....the perfect scenario .. :lol:

He'd had lots of fun with the remote - whistleing his boat to come out of locks or move back and forth inside one. Zooming down a big wide bit with no apparent helsman...Superb.

Had a nice morning with these guys.....had some serious rain at the end but they stopped for lunch and we didn't.

 

Suddenly nature calls...well not that suddenly...I have time to pass the tiller to Marie-Anne and disappear inside.

 

Tum te tum...crikey its a bit hot in this bog...(never been whilst on the move before)......out the blue I hear Marie-ane shouting at someone. Then I hear "Get off, no you cant"

 

What the hells going on out there...typical the only time I've had me trousers down all trip and she's got grief outside. It quietens down a bit so I finish up in piece.

 

I waltz back out on deck .."We've got pirates" says Marie-anne. "You what,!!!! ...where." ..."down there".....I look down and theres 3 kids in dinghy hanging onto one of our fenders. "so thats what all the shouting was about".

 

Step aside..I'll handle this....put the old stern face on.....walk down guwhale..."Let it go"...."she said we could"..."no she didn't...now let it go" really fierce this time....the little kid in the front looks like he just had an accident...but he's also the cheekiest of the lot. I grab hold of the fender to shake them off but dont want to be too violent....I didn't want them jamming the prop up. I negotiate with the little tot in the front.."wheres your paddles".. "it snapped" "a tow would be ok but you haven't got a rope, what your doing is dangerous" ..."yes we have got a rope"...."well give it here then and let go of the fender"....He did reluctantly.....I held onto their rope and let the dinghy slide carefully out the back of our boat. Now i had them...cast adrift or tie them on...they had all shut up and were watching me intently...I thought sod it, he trusted me, I'll tie them on for a bit....."Thanks mister...take us up to the lock" Cheeky git. Anyway they all lay back and we towed them 1/4 of mile to the lock....The little sods were having a great time...one of them got the fags out and they all lit up..I couldn't believe it.

 

We got to the lock - where they appeared to know everyone - and hopped onto the wall and dragged there dinghy out...then they were all over Marie-anne...."we'll do the lock for ya missus".....and they helped her do that. Then they waved goodbye and that was that.

 

We carried on to Foxton....and moored up. The phone went....it was Beryl....!!!!!!

Edited by z1100r
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We are still on the same day....we've not gone very far..thats all. We kinda did long days to make sure we made it back home...now we will be doing short days so's not to get back too soon. Oh well. We never do stick to a plan...Hopeless. As it happens handy ..because the weathers turned.

 

So Beryl rings and asks if its Ok to bring her grandaughter along - and of course her mate Freddie - tomorrow for the ascent of Foxton locks....yeah no worries ..great....see you in the morning then.

 

Its raining but we go and have a look at the inclined plane and museum, and then the little shop...ooh look chandlery bits. I hope they get that lift working in my lifetime, be great to see it working again, and a massive achievemnet for those involved.

 

We got the DVD's out then and watched 'A Bridge too Far' from one of our Nuneaton Sainsbury's bargain multi pack classic series....Funnily enough I'd never seen it before. A Big bar of dark extra black chocolate - Tea - and Cider. Definately chilled out now. No beer that night - strange.

 

We discuss the new plan...can we make welford arm for a night....yeah doddle it.

 

Day 14

 

As always when Beryl is involved theres a cock up...Marie-Anne calls her and says give us a ring when you get close and we'll go book in with the lock Keeper..."Yep..got that..will do..good idea"......we have breakfast...I have a bit of a fish....Freddie rings "were about 30 mins away" ...its all going too smooth.

I go up the locks and book the boat in...not much of queue...only 2 boats in front and nothing comming down. Should be perfect. Should be.

 

Give it 15 mins and then move upto the locks. We get called in.. Do the first lock..no sign..the the next..no sign..then the next....were half way up ..still no sign....an hour has gone by since we moved off to the locks...."WHERE THE BLOODY HELL HAVE THEY GOT TOO". Well I had to shout - she was at the top of the lock. We've got one more to do and they finally arrive. Its taken them an hour and a half to do a tops 25min journey. I should of been suspicious when they said 30 mins away. I should of been suspicious anyway..purely because it was them.

 

We had a good morning with them though a jovial chat..piss take..and regurgitating some tales of the cruise...mainly the ones I dare not put in here.

 

They left to walk back down to the pub at Foxton for lunch..we pushed on to Welford. Moored in exactly the same place we had 7 years ago with the whole family on board....strangley different with only 2 of you. Fished again until the rain drove me back inside. Decided on another Matinee....Finished of the chocolate and watched 'The Great Escape' whilst waiting for the pub to open.

 

We got bladdered that night talking to another guy off a boat.

 

Day 15 ... Late start... :lol:

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Were only going to crick today....thought I'd better check on diesel with my trusty stick....hmmmm...low... might aswell fill up today rather than leave it empty on the mooring. Seems lower than I would of expected though.

 

Set off in very windy conditions and met up with the guy we'd been talking to the night before.....he was single handed and trying to get his boat into the single lock on the way out of the walford arm.....he'd set the lock and gone back to his boat but everytime he pushed the front out, by the time he'd got to the back the wind had pushed it back in again.....I moored well back and went off to help him....it was amazingly windy across the corner.....but he bashed and bored his boat into the lock eventually. Having seen all this I went well left and let the wind do the work of turning me in....went in like a greased pig.

 

Hah,hah...fist in the air and a laugh at madam. Nice day after that, just chugged along until I saw a marina sign advertising fuel and pump-out. Yeah lets go in there and do the business....£142 later. Crikey overall we've used 140 quids worth of fuel....but as the marina guy pointed out...5-8 hours a day for 15 days thats pretty good....I was still smarting though.

 

The best bit was the pumpout...we've had trouble with a smelly loo for years and I'd finally fixed that with a huge vent pipe...but I'd never been happy with the pumpouts we'd had in the past...never seemed to get it all out.....this guy found out why and was persistent enough to keep trying. One minute it would suck like mad and work properly...the next it would turn into a dribble.....he pulled the thing off a few times and then exclaimed "ere.. theres a piece of plastic down there...I got the very long nose pliers out and pulled it out....It was one of those bottle seals you have to peal off..like on a litre bottle of milk only thicker....some wally in the past had chucked it down the loo. It was a perfect size for the pumpout pipe and blocked it completey. With that out he went on to do a perfect job....excellent.

 

Kept Marie-Anne happy ...she and Beryl have allways had this thing about the loo. Stinky horible thing.

 

We pulled up at crick and went off shopping. I fished AGAIN...."wont be long duck"...hehe....popped back inside to get a bottle of beer ..pulled open the front door and it fell off in my hand...holy crap they are heavy....The hinge pin had snapped clean in two. I then spent the rest of the evening fixing that...glad I'd fitted that on-board genny and left all the tools on board....had to drill it out and all sorts. Took ages.

 

Boring after that...had tea.. watched telly and went to bed.

 

Spent 20 mins in the morning watching a Heron catching its breakfast...absolutely amazing....it was dead oposite one of our windows and seemed to have no idea we were there....really was a sight to see....man, they are fast.

 

I was starting to get depressed now....only Braunston, Newbold and then home.

 

Day 16

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How strange.....I thought when I started on about Foxton "now dont forget Watford". I forgot it didn't I. Like everyone else seems to....Dont see much difference between Watford and Foxton myself but look how one has become a tourist attraction and the other a sleepy backwater (as the lock keeper called it). Just thought I'd give him a mention...nice chap. I recollected our first trip up Watford flight on our first Leicester ring...a very sunny warm morning....a perfect photograph burnt into my memory of Marie-Anne and the kids running up the hill by the locks...Beryl and her dogs...Victor in full health..and the Lockkeepers cottage. A complete contrast to a grey windy day on our own.

 

Told you I was getting depressed....holy sh*t. Oh well Braunston to look forward to ..chin up.

 

Again its an easy day from Crick to Braunston. We were there by mid afternoon.....moored up in a perfect spot...got it all neatly tied up....then realised we were in a disabled reserved mooring space. Thought I'd better move it..so cast off and moved the other side of the bridge....only for someone else to pull into that place 10mins later and not care.

 

Couldn't be ar*ed to go fishing..read the paper...did the crossword...then we walked up the shop. Popped across to Chandlery...I'm positive Marie-anne takes me to these places to cheer me up. Picked up oil, grease and stuff...I'm sure she just wanted me to have something to carry - and to play with when we got back. She thinks I'm stupid and dont notice these things. I'm being treated like a 3 year old....Its great.

 

We get back to the boat and I open up the engine hole and have a play whilst tea is cooking.

 

"Which pub we going to then...in the village or back to that lock"...."ooh..lets go back up to the lock.

 

Interesting night.....lots of large parties of weekender boat trippers all steaming or well on the way to getting there. Table of uni students playing some weird games where they all end up taking there trousers off. 10 of them stiing round a huge table all in the buff from the waist down. As Marie-Anne said "arrgh....I hope they wipe those seats down when they've left".

Team Daventry on there yearly cruise - 2 boats, special Tshirts the lot...and of course arse*oled.

Oh and down in the lock pound the noisiest lot I'd heard all fortnight.

 

I was informed our daughter and her boyfriend were joining us for the trip to Newbold tomorrow...now she's more dippy than Beryl...how the hell they will ever find us - god only knows...oh well at least I've had some warning....I'm going to park on Midland Swindlers mooring in the morning....now thats a serious chandlers. They can do what they like...and no I'm not sulking.

 

Braunston is nice isn't it..always liked it...love walking round the marina. Its always sunny and warm when I go there and it always looks so picturesque. We had a walk round in the morning waiting for the call.

Edited by z1100r
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Well Penultimate day...

 

Daughter rings..."we've parked my car at the Barley mow Newbold, on our way in his van". "Come on then Duck ...lets go up to Swindlers I'll show you those port hole liners and other stuff..hurry up".

 

We have a problem.....an hour later another call..."we are here but we cant find you, walking along the towpath into Braunston"...."STOP, where are you parked" TYPICAL... bloody pub next door to where we are and then they've set off in the other direction and crossed over the canal aswell. Why the hell couldn't she ring before they set of aimlessly.

 

Anyway, I didn't care, I was still in 'plumbing' and about to move into 'stern tubes and Python drives'... :lol:

 

So they finally arrive and I'm dragged out of Swindlers..."what they doing over there..!!"....they're on the wrong side....oh well we'll pick them up..fire up Rebecca and get going.

 

My god Saturday is not a good day to go to Braunston...its heaving on the way out.....boats everywhere in both directions....a real tight squeeze at times.

 

Its heaving with boats all morning in fact....never seen so many in one 5 mile section. So I'm doing the driving and we're just chugging along in a procession.....Sausage sarneys and a cup of tea arrive.....well Mr. boyfriend goes green and starts turning away and leaning over the side.....nothing comes out but he dont look good. Traffic dissipates so I hand him the tiller....off ya go then I'm going for pee...he's hopeless...just like that bloody women was in the first few days. Finally gets the hang of it, until a boat comes in the other direction at a bridge hole..."ere quick you do this" he says "you been eating Rhiannons grub whilst we've been away..fatal that". "No, I had a few wierd drinks last night"..."oh right pissed then..no sympathy"

 

He gets used to driving it sort of...but he still looks a bit peaky and didn't finish his other sarney I noticed. "hair of the dog"..."yeah OK"

The womens chops are going at it like mad..we stand and stare straight ahead..occasionally sipping lager...not saying a word.

 

We get to the first lock and they all jump off...the ladies go upto the lock... flyblow disappears in the hedge and tries to eject his stomach lining.

 

Theres a few locks and he's at it non-stop all the way through them...hahahaha..chuckle chuckle. "Whats up with him" a passerby says "Its too choppy for him...tut"

 

We get to Newbold and I do it again ...moor in the wrong place on 'long term permit holders only' ...so decide to unmoor and move up whilst they get the beer in.....Spent the whole afternoon and evening in the pub......I'll teach the b*stard.haha....Didn't seem to bother him though.

 

We knew we were near home now...one of Marie-annes friends popped in for a drink with her hubby and it became like we'd never been away. HUMPH.

 

I'm not going to do the last day...its was horible...the weather didn't help ...nice and sunny..we got back emptied our stuff off the boat and went home. For a few days I kept going back to the boat after work making lame excuses I had to do stuff....but it was over. FANBLOODYTASTICTHOUGH and cant wait till we go again.

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  • 3 months later...
Well Penultimate day...

 

Daughter rings..."we've parked my car at the Barley mow Newbold, on our way in his van". "Come on then Duck ...lets go up to Swindlers I'll show you those port hole liners and other stuff..hurry up".

 

We have a problem.....an hour later another call..."we are here but we cant find you, walking along the towpath into Braunston"...."STOP, where are you parked" TYPICAL... bloody pub next door to where we are and then they've set off in the other direction and crossed over the canal aswell. Why the hell couldn't she ring before they set of aimlessly.

 

Anyway, I didn't care, I was still in 'plumbing' and about to move into 'stern tubes and Python drives'... :lol:

 

So they finally arrive and I'm dragged out of Swindlers..."what they doing over there..!!"....they're on the wrong side....oh well we'll pick them up..fire up Rebecca and get going.

 

My god Saturday is not a good day to go to Braunston...its heaving on the way out.....boats everywhere in both directions....a real tight squeeze at times.

 

Its heaving with boats all morning in fact....never seen so many in one 5 mile section. So I'm doing the driving and we're just chugging along in a procession.....Sausage sarneys and a cup of tea arrive.....well Mr. boyfriend goes green and starts turning away and leaning over the side.....nothing comes out but he dont look good. Traffic dissipates so I hand him the tiller....off ya go then I'm going for pee...he's hopeless...just like that bloody women was in the first few days. Finally gets the hang of it, until a boat comes in the other direction at a bridge hole..."ere quick you do this" he says "you been eating Rhiannons grub whilst we've been away..fatal that". "No, I had a few wierd drinks last night"..."oh right pissed then..no sympathy"

 

He gets used to driving it sort of...but he still looks a bit peaky and didn't finish his other sarney I noticed. "hair of the dog"..."yeah OK"

The womens chops are going at it like mad..we stand and stare straight ahead..occasionally sipping lager...not saying a word.

 

We get to the first lock and they all jump off...the ladies go upto the lock... flyblow disappears in the hedge and tries to eject his stomach lining.

 

Theres a few locks and he's at it non-stop all the way through them...hahahaha..chuckle chuckle. "Whats up with him" a passerby says "Its too choppy for him...tut"

 

We get to Newbold and I do it again ...moor in the wrong place on 'long term permit holders only' ...so decide to unmoor and move up whilst they get the beer in.....Spent the whole afternoon and evening in the pub......I'll teach the b*stard.haha....Didn't seem to bother him though.

 

We knew we were near home now...one of Marie-annes friends popped in for a drink with her hubby and it became like we'd never been away. HUMPH.

 

I'm not going to do the last day...its was horible...the weather didn't help ...nice and sunny..we got back emptied our stuff off the boat and went home. For a few days I kept going back to the boat after work making lame excuses I had to do stuff....but it was over. FANBLOODYTASTICTHOUGH and cant wait till we go again.

:lol: as you say FANBLOODYTASTIC best i have read in ages, I bet that most folks car relate to how you felt at the end of your 2 weeks. Thanks very much Terry Edited by Terryryan
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