Daft comments/questions

[DHutch]

Lunch time, at work: I help myself to a slice of ham, and a colleague asks:

 

'Oh, you're eating ham? I thought you were a vegetarian!'

'No', I reply 'I love eating meat! Whatever made you think I was a veggie?'

'Well, you live on a boat, so I thought you must be a vegetarian'...

Thats awesome!

[sueb]

Look Mum they are eating mince pies - Christmas day at Stoke Bruerne

Sue

[Gibbo]

From another boater (asking about a particular battery monitor in the pub and I suggested he change the battery type to the correct one as detailed in the manual) whilst on an anonymous boating trip ..................

 

"Oh yeah?, what makes you such a f*ckin' expert on it?"

[FadeToScarlet]

From another boater (asking about a particular battery monitor in the pub and I suggested he change the battery type to the correct one as detailed in the manual) whilst on an anonymous boating trip ..................

 

"Oh yeah?, what makes you such a f*ckin' expert on it?"

 

Oh, go on. What did you say in reply?

[Gibbo]

Oh, go on. What did you say in reply?

 

I actually replied "oh nothing, it was just a guess"

[Big COL]

A question you all must have corrected in the past, I've now stopped correcting it and have this reply, the look on peoples faces is amusing

 

Question

 

Where did you get your long boat from? I stole it from a Viking.

[Tullz]

Slightly

 

Just had a bloke knock at the door and ask, "Are you number 4?" Our door is bright yellow with a large black number 5 at eye level - well duh!

*sheesh*

 

Tullz

[WotEver]

Slightly

 

Just had a bloke knock at the door and ask, "Are you number 4?" Our door is bright yellow with a large black number 5 at eye level - well duh!

*sheesh*

 

Tullz

 

At work, right above the door we have a metre high silver "8" on a black background. Above that on a vertical red banner with white writing is "Number Eight". At least once a week, someone will press the buzzer and say "I'm looking for number eight - do you know where it is?"

 

Tony

[NB Phoenix]

At work, right above the door we have a metre high silver "8" on a black background. Above that on a vertical red banner with white writing is "Number Eight". At least once a week, someone will press the buzzer and say "I'm looking for number eight - do you know where it is?"

 

Tony

 

 

Is it next door?

[Naughty Cal]

Our next door neighbour keeps getting knocks on the door for us despite the fact we have a number 44 on both the garage and our front door

 

On topic though, i am now getting fed up of being asked "Is it yours?" and "Is it new?" (despite the fact there is an RNLI sticker in the window from 2004)

[Athy]

Well is it yours? And have you got Que Sera Sera tucked away on a mooring on those remote waters too?

[Naughty Cal]

It is ours (me and OH) and que sera sera is nowhere to be seen

[Matthew Knowles]

It is ours (me and OH) and que sera sera is nowhere to be seen

So...is it new?

[Naughty Cal]

So...is it new?

 

No, its just clean and shiny, and currently damage free (reaches round to find some real wood in an office full of the fake stuff )

[Matthew Knowles]

No, its just clean and shiny, and currently damage free (reaches round to find some real wood in an office full of the fake stuff )

And Phylis....does it go fast?

 

<hides>

[Naughty Cal]

And Phylis....does it go fast?

 

<hides>

 

Yes

 

(throws nearest heavy object in Matthew's direction)

[Matthew Knowles]

Yes

 

(throws nearest heavy object in Matthew's direction)

Ouch!

[Naughty Cal]

Ouch!

 

I knew that mud weight handily placed on my desk would come in handy

[Nightwatch]

Well is it yours? And have you got Que Sera Sera tucked away on a mooring on those remote waters too?

You're pushing your luck, Athy,if i dare say so.

 

Martyn

[Athy]

You're pushing your luck, Athy,if i dare say so.

 

Martyn

 

Yes, I probably am - but of course I was jesting, we all know that said boat has been spirited away to Poland as spare parts for their burgeoning narrowboat industry.

[tonyb]

being asked as my wife and i struggled to hold my boat into the side after sinkng my 25ft marine ply cruiser on the langollen canel, did you mean to sink it??????

[magpie patrick]

A question you all must have corrected in the past, I've now stopped correcting it and have this reply, the look on peoples faces is amusing

 

Question

 

Where did you get your long boat from? I stole it from a Viking.

 

 

Oh...

 

Down on the G&S they're called long boats... (as opposed to narrow boats)

 

Best question (not necessarily daft) from a foreign tourist in Gloucester while I was on the boat...

 

Is the River in Stratford the same one as the river in Bath? (took me a second to realise they are both "Avon"!)

[carlt]

A question you all must have corrected in the past, I've now stopped correcting it and have this reply, the look on peoples faces is amusing

 

Question

 

Where did you get your long boat from? I stole it from a Viking.

I often find myself correcting people who, erroneously, refer to Viking Longships as "longboats"...

 

...but anyone can make a mistake, if they are expressing interest and enthusiasm for a subject they may have little or no experience in

[andywatson]

No doubt eveyone who's ever washed a car has been told by many of those passing by that they'd bring theirs round for you to wash has heard the boating equivalents as follows:

 

-Do you live on it?

-How long is it?

-That's a shiny one or you've missed a bit (when painting or polishing)

 

I therefore propose a survey of the least original and daftest comments (and caustic replies)

 

Come on then, this must be a rich seam..............

 

I've just noticed that this thread has run for over a year.

There are some right crackers on it but I think the winners prize must go to chrisjw's reply, posted in the first 7 minutes.

Fine examples of well meaning mediocrity.

[nb Innisfree]

Ex neighbour asked if our nb had two floors