Its finally happened

[Hudds Lad]

Yesterday, whilst moored just out of Polesworth and enjoying a well-earned libation after a long stint from Minworth Top Lock that morning, i had occasion to lean out of the cratch and shout at a passing hire boat.

I’ll usually give them the benefit of the doubt, after all its only 6 or so years since i was one myself, but this one took the biscuit.

I’d heard a boat coming, i’d heard it ease the throttle for the fishist a handful of boat lengths behind us, i’d expected to hear it ease off further. The opposite, warp drive was engaged. As the blue bows passed the front of our boat, i just managed to lean out as the steerer and half-naked first mate drew level. I enquired if he intended to slow down, as he passed at full chat, he replied that he already had, and to demonstrate this lightly touched the top of the throttle lever. And just like that, like a navy blue Fiesta Popular with cream go-faster stripes and a cherry bomb exhaust and perhaps a stick-on sun visor with Kev & Rosanna on it, they were gone around the corner leaving nothing but breaking waves and a path of destruction behind them.

 

My name is Andy, and i am a grumpy boater  

[Chris Lowe]

Just wait for them to run aground at that speed they'll have fun getting it off the mud.

[alan_fincher]

1 hour ago, Hudds Lad said:

......................they were gone around the corner leaving nothing but breaking waves and a path of destruction behind them.

 

Out of interest exactly what did they actually destroy?

[magpie patrick]

2 minutes ago, alan_fincher said:

 

Out of interest exactly what did they actually destroy?

Hudds lads temper by the sounds of it!  

 

But destruction to the banks and marginal vegetation would occur, with even one boat you can see the additional silt load enter the water 

[robtheplod]

1 hour ago, Hudds Lad said:

Yesterday, whilst moored just out of Polesworth and enjoying a well-earned libation after a long stint from Minworth Top Lock that morning, i had occasion to lean out of the cratch and shout at a passing hire boat.

I’ll usually give them the benefit of the doubt, after all its only 6 or so years since i was one myself, but this one took the biscuit.

I’d heard a boat coming, i’d heard it ease the throttle for the fishist a handful of boat lengths behind us, i’d expected to hear it ease off further. The opposite, warp drive was engaged. As the blue bows passed the front of our boat, i just managed to lean out as the steerer and half-naked first mate drew level. I enquired if he intended to slow down, as he passed at full chat, he replied that he already had, and to demonstrate this lightly touched the top of the throttle lever. And just like that, like a navy blue Fiesta Popular with cream go-faster stripes and a cherry bomb exhaust and perhaps a stick-on sun visor with Kev & Rosanna on it, they were gone around the corner leaving nothing but breaking waves and a path of destruction behind them.

 

My name is Andy, and i am a grumpy boater  

i hear you my friend! 

[MtB]

1 hour ago, Hudds Lad said:

Yesterday, whilst moored just out of Polesworth and enjoying a well-earned libation after a long stint from Minworth Top Lock that morning, i had occasion to lean out of the cratch and shout at a passing hire boat.

I’ll usually give them the benefit of the doubt, after all its only 6 or so years since i was one myself, but this one took the biscuit.

I’d heard a boat coming, i’d heard it ease the throttle for the fishist a handful of boat lengths behind us, i’d expected to hear it ease off further. The opposite, warp drive was engaged. As the blue bows passed the front of our boat, i just managed to lean out as the steerer and half-naked first mate drew level. I enquired if he intended to slow down, as he passed at full chat, he replied that he already had, and to demonstrate this lightly touched the top of the throttle lever. And just like that, like a navy blue Fiesta Popular with cream go-faster stripes and a cherry bomb exhaust and perhaps a stick-on sun visor with Kev & Rosanna on it, they were gone around the corner leaving nothing but breaking waves and a path of destruction behind them.

 

My name is Andy, and i am a grumpy boater  

 

 

TRANSLATION:

 

I'm Andy and I here to learn how to moor up my boat properly...

 

🤣

[IanM]

I probably only shout at one boat a year... this years was the hire boat which untied and pulled out on me in the longer pound on the Lapworth flight who then went straight into the lock Becky had just set for me.  The crew of the boat even said thank you for setting the lock for them!  To add insult to injury they pulled over after the main bit of the flight for lunch.

 

Needless to say when they actually hit the side of us when we were moored at Hockley Heath they may have got a few choice words!

[Rob-M]

18 minutes ago, IanM said:

I probably only shout at one boat a year... this years was the hire boat which untied and pulled out on me in the longer pound on the Lapworth flight who then went straight into the lock Becky had just set for me.  The crew of the boat even said thank you for setting the lock for them!  To add insult to injury they pulled over after the main bit of the flight for lunch.

 

Needless to say when they actually hit the side of us when we were moored at Hockley Heath they may have got a few choice words!

Sometimes it can be difficult when moored in a pound, I was below Gailey lock on Sunday and boats were starting to move about so was half expecting someone to appear from the lock as I pushed off.  If they hadn't gone on and set ahead I would take the next lock but if they had set it then I would pull over and let them through.  We had a boat set off in front as we exited Filance lock and the lady said to my wife if Penkridge lock had been full she would have felt guilty taking it from us but as it needed filling she was happy to jump in front of us as she had set the lock .

[ditchcrawler]

26 minutes ago, IanM said:

I probably only shout at one boat a year... this years was the hire boat which untied and pulled out on me in the longer pound on the Lapworth flight who then went straight into the lock Becky had just set for me.  The crew of the boat even said thank you for setting the lock for them!  To add insult to injury they pulled over after the main bit of the flight for lunch.

 

Needless to say when they actually hit the side of us when we were moored at Hockley Heath they may have got a few choice words!

I did the same thing to another boat a few years ago. Coming down the cut, nothing on the lock landing and saw the gates being pushed open so sailed straight in thanking them for opening up for me.  When I realised what had happened I apologised but the lock crew just said "serves him right for not getting his arse in gear" I did set the next lock and let them pass. 

[Captain Pegg]

25 minutes ago, ditchcrawler said:

I did the same thing to another boat a few years ago. Coming down the cut, nothing on the lock landing and saw the gates being pushed open so sailed straight in thanking them for opening up for me.  When I realised what had happened I apologised but the lock crew just said "serves him right for not getting his arse in gear" I did set the next lock and let them pass. 

Always a dilemma when moored on the approach to the next lock as to whether to prep the lock and then untie mooring lines or tootle up to the lock landing first and ‘claim’ the lock before setting it.

I was delayed by a queue of boats created by a failed top paddle at Wychnor on Sunday. One particular lady was doing lots of work helping folk through but she said to me she’d had to stop and wait further back amongst other boats moored above the lock because there was an abandoned boat on the lock landing and one boat already waiting when she arrived.

 

As I exited after ascending another boat approached from above and pulled alongside this lady’s boat and then proceeded toward the landing as it was vacated. I motioned to him to stop and then informed him that the boat he was in the process of overtaking was in the queue ahead of him. Looking at it, he said “Is it?” in a very questioning tone. So I explained to him the situation and that the occupant was busy making herself very helpful to others. He thanked me and I hope he then resisted the temptation to be an a-hole.

 

[MtB]

31 minutes ago, Captain Pegg said:

I motioned to him to stop and then informed him that the boat he was in the process of overtaking was in the queue ahead of him. Looking at it, he said “Is it?” in a very questioning tone.

 

 

Back cabin doors open, tiller arm on, engine running is usually a clue!! 

 

And vice versa.

 

 

[Arthur Marshall]

1 hour ago, ditchcrawler said:

I did the same thing to another boat a few years ago. Coming down the cut, nothing on the lock landing and saw the gates being pushed open so sailed straight in thanking them for opening up for me.  When I realised what had happened I apologised but the lock crew just said "serves him right for not getting his arse in gear" I did set the next lock and let them pass. 

Coming through Stone this morning (heading to Stoke), boat sitting on the services, lock gates open, bloke just sitting on the back of his boat. I assumed Rob the Lock had set it for me till the bloke shouted as I went past.

So I stopped, let him in and as as he went up I asked where he was going. Yorkshire, he said. Not this way, I said. Bugger, he said...

[Captain Pegg]

1 hour ago, MtB said:

 

 

Back cabin doors open, tiller arm on, engine running is usually a clue!! 

 

And vice versa.

 

 

 

Ordinarily I'd treat a boat moored on bow and stern lines and not on the lock landing as not being in the queue, irrespective of anything else, so it was reasonable for the guy to assume he could carry on. I'd have done the same. It was just the initial non-acceptance of what I said that was off. I did wonder if it was because I was steering a very scruffy boat.

[Mad Harold]

Tied up on the jetty on the river just before lock 1 on the Huddersfield Broad, emptied the lock and opened the gates and as I was walking back to my boat a narrowbeam sailed straight into my prepared lock.Wouldn't bother me normally, but I had just come back from Dewsbury and was feeling pretty knackered.

Had a word with the skipper who did volunteer to back out, but I said ok carry on.

He said he thought I was the Lockie!!

Do I look like a bloody Lockie?  🎃

[Rob-M]

7 minutes ago, Mad Harold said:

Tied up on the jetty on the river just before lock 1 on the Huddersfield Broad, emptied the lock and opened the gates and as I was walking back to my boat a narrowbeam sailed straight into my prepared lock.Wouldn't bother me normally, but I had just come back from Dewsbury and was feeling pretty knackered.

Had a word with the skipper who did volunteer to back out, but I said ok carry on.

He said he thought I was the Lockie!!

Do I look like a bloody Lockie?  🎃

Did you have your best blue polo shirt on...?

[Victor Vectis]

Last time I went down Hatton I was wearing a blue T-shirt and a life jacket.

 

A couple of people mistook me for a lock smurf!

[ditchcrawler]

1 hour ago, Mad Harold said:

Tied up on the jetty on the river just before lock 1 on the Huddersfield Broad, emptied the lock and opened the gates and as I was walking back to my boat a narrowbeam sailed straight into my prepared lock.Wouldn't bother me normally, but I had just come back from Dewsbury and was feeling pretty knackered.

Had a word with the skipper who did volunteer to back out, but I said ok carry on.

He said he thought I was the Lockie!!

Do I look like a bloody Lockie?  🎃

Had that happen in Worcester, met the people again the same afternoon and she apologised, I was wearing my blue overalls at the time. Diana has a similar problem wearing a blue IWA tee shirt

[Hudds Lad]

8 hours ago, alan_fincher said:

 

Out of interest exactly what did they actually destroy?

The peace and quiet? it was just a phrase, poetic licence etc.

 

7 hours ago, MtB said:

 

 

TRANSLATION:

 

I'm Andy and I here to learn how to moor up my boat properly...

 

🤣

I was moored fine Mike ya cheeky beggar, there was a partially sunk cruiser further up the cut but judging by the tide mark it had been that way for a while.

 

Anywho, we’ve had a fun morning dragging the @rse of the boat through Atherstone so now we’re off for some nosebag and a few pints of Abbot in the Greyhound  

[Captain Pegg]

2 hours ago, Hudds Lad said:

The peace and quiet? it was just a phrase, poetic licence etc.

 

I was moored fine Mike ya cheeky beggar, there was a partially sunk cruiser further up the cut but judging by the tide mark it had been that way for a while.

 

Anywho, we’ve had a fun morning dragging the @rse of the boat through Atherstone so now we’re off for some nosebag and a few pints of Abbot in the Greyhound  

There must be something better in the Greyhound although the beer choice wasn’t that great when I was there two or three weeks ago.

[MtB]

The Greyhound is always rammed full whenever I go in there.

 

I think this puts a lot of people off. If it wasn't always so full, they could do a lot more business. 

 

 

 

[Balloon]

4 hours ago, Mad Harold said:

Tied up on the jetty on the river just before lock 1 on the Huddersfield Broad, emptied the lock and opened the gates and as I was walking back to my boat a narrowbeam sailed straight into my prepared lock.Wouldn't bother me normally, but I had just come back from Dewsbury and was feeling pretty knackered.

Had a word with the skipper who did volunteer to back out, but I said ok carry on.

He said he thought I was the Lockie!!

Do I look like a bloody Lockie?  🎃

Someone who cruised straight into my freshly prepared lock once in their yogurt pot, when I confronted them with steam hissing out of my ears, told me I “didn’t look like someone who had a boat!!!”

 

why the hell would I be preparing a lock then?? And just what does someone who has a boat look like 🤔

[MtB]

1 minute ago, Balloon said:

Someone who cruised straight into my freshly prepared lock once in their yogurt pot, when I confronted them with steam hissing out of my ears, told me I “didn’t look like someone who had a boat!!!”

 

why the hell would I be preparing a lock then?? And just what does someone who has a boat look like 🤔

 

 

More to the point, what does "someone who has a boat" look like then?!!! 

 

Ok I know. Harold Shipman.

 

 

[Balloon]

1 minute ago, MtB said:

More to the point, what does "someone who has a boat" look like then?!!! 

 

3 minutes ago, Balloon said:

And just what does someone who has a boat look like 🤔

As I said….!

[MtB]

1 minute ago, Balloon said:

 

As I said….!

 

 

Look you, am I actually supposed to read a post before jumping in with both feet?

 

 

[Balloon]

4 minutes ago, Balloon said:

Someone who cruised straight into my freshly prepared lock once in their yogurt pot, when I confronted them with steam hissing out of my ears, told me I “didn’t look like someone who had a boat!!!”

 

why the hell would I be preparing a lock then?? And just what does someone who has a boat look like 🤔

I’m going to name and shame (or show and shame!) this guy because he later managed to make me cry in a heated confrontation at a different lock, and therefore shall NEVER BE FORGIVEN 

 

his T-shirt sums him up

 

 

2 minutes ago, MtB said:

 

 

Look you, am I actually supposed to read a post before jumping in with both feet?

 

 

Tbh it was nice to be agreed with. I appreciated you seconding my comment