CaRT Press Release. Lock Beams

[Jen-in-Wellies]

CRT PRESS RELEASE

1st April 2022

 

IMPROVING LOCK BALANCE BEAMS ON THE CANALS

 

Over the next 12 months, the waterways and wellbeing charity will worked with dozens of volunteers, community organisations and youth groups to deliver a major improvement to the canal and river infrastructure of our waterways.

 

The biggest improvement in recent years that the Trust has made has been to change the many signs on its property from black and white to shades of blue. This has lead to increased wellbeing of all visitors to the waterways.

 

The next phase of the project will take things still further and remove some inconsistent branding from the built environment of the waterways. Most lock balance beams are still either painted black and white, in the old British Waterways brand colours, or worse, in bare wood, with white ends. To maintain a consistent image across the Trusts environment, a major program will repaint all lock beams in the Trusts dark blue, with pale blue ends. The pale blue on the ends of the beams are an important health and safety feature, allowing visitors to spot them in reduced light conditions.

 

To this end, we will be diverting all navigation staff from other maintenance tasks to working with volunteer groups on painting while the project is going on. We believe that consistent branding will be more beneficial to boaters and other users and visitors to our waterways.

 

Considerable work has gone on by our engineers to select a paint for lock beams that will adhere well to rotting wood. A feature of many lock beams on our 200 year old canal system. Unfortunately, this paint is very expensive and we have decided to cancel next winters program of lock gate replacement as the best use of the Trusts funds.

 

April Blague, community engagement coordinator at the Canal & River Trust, said: “We are really proud of this new plan to improve our Waterways. This continuation of our rebranding to a Wellbeing Charity will improve the waterways experience for all our customers."

 

“Research shows that being by the water makes you happier, and it’s satisfying to make a difference. The volunteers are doing an amazing job and their hard work will pay dividends this spring and beyond as visitors appreciate all the newly repainted locks. They will rightly feel very proud with what they have achieved.

 

For more information about how to volunteer or donate to the Canal & River Trust, please visit www.canalrivertrust.org.uk.

 

-ends-

[koukouvagia]

Ha ha. (Mind you, many a true word spoken in jest).

[Alan de Enfield]

7 minutes ago, Jen-in-Wellies said:

.........the waterways and wellbeing charity will worked...........

 

Hmmmm - more work needed (or a proof reader)

 

Be careful what you wish for !

[dmr]

Its a good jhob its April 1st otherwise I would likely have believed this.

[Athy]

3 minutes ago, Alan de Enfield said:

 

Hmmmm - more work needed (or a proof reader)

 

!

There's at least one other instance, in para 2, but I take these as a gentle comment on the standard of literacy found in real CART blurbs, as an ingredient of what is a most pleasing piece of satire.

[magnetman]

Oh god that is depressing reading ! 

 

Oops caught me !

Edited April 1, 2022 by magnetman

[MtB]

15 minutes ago, Jen-in-Wellies said:

The pale blue on the ends of the beams are an important health and safety feature, allowing visitors to spot them in reduced light conditions.

 

It is a terrible indictment of the general direction of CRT that I found this bit particularly credible and it wasn't until further in that I checked the date.

[Andy_B]

Very accurately targeted at CRT's obsession with branding and deafness to boaters.

[Jen-in-Wellies]

The world famous Bingley Five Rise Locks are already being repainted. Unfortunately, they have used dark blue on the ends and light blue for the rest of the beams, not the other way round. Fortunately, this was spotted half way up and they will be painted again.

[Rob-M]

Someone has too much spare time on their hands.

[Athy]

27 minutes ago, Rob-M said:

Someone has too much spare time on their hands.

probably got paint on them too.

[Heartland]

I have also heard that the CRT are also experimenting with Chlorophyl to use that green substance to convert light into other energy sources to power their work boats, but then it is April 1st.

[Iain_S]

3 hours ago, MtB said:

 

It is a terrible indictment of the general direction of CRT that I found this bit particularly credible and it wasn't until further in that I checked the date.

 

3 hours ago, Andy_B said:

Very accurately targeted at CRT's obsession with branding and deafness to boaters.

 

Glad to know I wasn't the only one who found that a bit close to the truth 

[Machpoint005]

The "press release" was rendered more "authentic" by the typoes and poor grammar.

The past tense of "to lead" is not spelt like the metal.

 

4 hours ago, Jen-in-Wellies said:

>> April Blague <<

 

And there was the huge clue ...

... except she should probably have been called Avril.

[David Mack]

And of special interest to one of our members, apparently the Scottish Deer Centre this morning discovered a live @haggis!

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=pfbid06BaRV4xoT2NpqeT1rA6Y32cw1UHWRHxtNvHeYXSDao2CYXG2aTU7j9CyJq4BdFRMl&id=110379419008839&m_entstream_source=timeline&ref=page_internal&__tn__=-R

[haggis]

I told you that haggis were real and not a fiction of imagination and this proves it. Pity the post was made today which will encourage some to think it is an April Fool. 

Would I adopt the name of a fictional character, I ask you? 

[Heartland]

Then again Mr Burns could be spinning in his grave

[Athy]

4 hours ago, Machpoint005 said:

 

The past tense of "to lead" is not spelt like the metal.

 

 

As alluded to several posts ago, yes.

Edited April 1, 2022 by Athy

[Midnight]

Made me smile but regrettably quite believable given the total incompetents running the show at the moment.

[reg]

 

 

Blague definition: pretentious but empty talk; nonsense 

Edited April 1, 2022 by reg

[Athy]

9 hours ago, reg said:

 

 

Blague definition: pretentious but empty talk; nonsense 

I hadn't heard it used in English before.

From the French "blague", meaning a joke.

[Jen-in-Wellies]

3 hours ago, Athy said:

I hadn't heard it used in English before.

From the French "blague", meaning a joke.

I was looking for a French synonym for fool, or foolish, or joke, that didn't look like its comparable English version.

[Chris Lowe]

1 hour ago, Jen-in-Wellies said:

I was looking for a French synonym for fool, or foolish, or joke, that didn't look like its comparable English version.

 

You could have used 

poisson d'avril

[Jen-in-Wellies]

4 minutes ago, buccaneer66 said:

 

You could have used 

poisson d'avril

I considered Avril Poisson, but too many people already know what it means.

Edited April 2, 2022 by Jen-in-Wellies

[Chris Lowe]

I must dig out and reuse my fake canal map I did 40 odd years ago for the Wey & Aruns newletter.

3 minutes ago, Jen-in-Wellies said:

I considered Avril Poisson, but too many people already know what it means.

bolondok napja