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The One-Post Thread


Tony1

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Typical Newbie. Posts in General Boating where no one is going to see it. Should have posted in in the Animals and Pets section of the Virtual Pub, where lots of llama owning boaters would be able to help. Can the Mods move it?

Llamas and boating have a long history, all the way back to Noah who had to make a choice between letting them, or the sabre toothed tigers on board.

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8 minutes ago, Jen-in-Wellies said:

 

Where can I cruise the Ark I am having built by Collingwood for me, my entire extended family and our pets to live on? CaRT's published maximum boat dimensions are all in metres and don't mention cubits anywhere. Is cassette, or pump out better for the quantity of waste I'm expecting to be generated?

Noah

 

Interestingly, the original Ark was excavated in Turkey and found to have a Lister SR2. Bit of WD40, and it ran first time. 

 

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50 minutes ago, Athy said:

:clapping:

Whoops, that makes two posts.

But you didn't include a moderator warning posters to refrain from personal abuse.

 

 

Damn. 

Schoolboy error there. 

 

This is what happens when you scribble away late in the evening after drinking too much celebratory beer. 

 

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I think "<X>" might have been something to do with batteries. As any fule kno, they have to be charged to within an inch of their lives for at least 28 hours a day to get them to even illuminate the tiniest LED according to the phalanx of battery experts on here. Whilst back in the real world, people are happy to buy some, use them then buy some more three years later when they eventually pack up. 

 

Do I win the Five Pounds?

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3 minutes ago, MtB said:

I think "<X>" might have been something to do with batteries. As any fule kno, they have to be charged to within an inch of their lives for at least 28 hours a day to get them to even illuminate the tiniest LED according to the phalanx of battery experts on here. Whilst back in the real world, people are happy to buy some, use them then buy some more three years later when they eventually pack up. 

 

Do I win the Five Pounds?

 

Obviously the subject matter could be almost anything, but in this case I had in mind a real life example, with the idea of adding authenticity. 

How often should I feed Dave, my liveaboard llama..? 

 

The question troubles me night and day.

 

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Just now, Tony1 said:

 

Obviously the subject matter could be almost anything, but in this case I had in mind a real life example, with the idea of adding authenticity. 

How often should I feed Dave, my liveaboard llama..? 

 

The question troubles me night and day.

 

Nearest I can get to a Llama, ask these folks, on The Coventry Canal.

DSCF3745.JPG

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8 minutes ago, Tony1 said:

How often should I feed Dave, my liveaboard llama..? 

Your first mistake. As far as liveaboard large South American mammals go, you can't beat a capybara. Being vegetarian and semi-aquatic, they can feed themselves on the abundant flora from CaRT's lax approach to towpath mowing and offside tree control. The main problem is finding a canal that has been dredged sufficiently recently to give enough depth for them to swim.

Edited by Jen-in-Wellies
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1 minute ago, Jen-in-Wellies said:

Your first mistake. As far as liveaboard large South American mammals go, you can't beat a capybara. Being vegetarian and aquatic, they can feed themselves on the abundant flora from CaRT's lax approach to towpath mowing and offside tree control. The main problem is finding a canal that has been dredged sufficiently recently to give enough depth for them to swim.

 

Practical advice for a practical boater (and his imaginary llama).

 

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8 minutes ago, Tony1 said:

 

Obviously the subject matter could be almost anything, but in this case I had in mind a real life example, with the idea of adding authenticity. 

How often should I feed Dave, my liveaboard llama..? 

 

The question troubles me night and day.

 

 

Ah but there's the thing. I am thinking this is an allegory where your battery bank is, like mine, called "Dave", and needs feeding in much the same way as a real life llama aboard might.

 

 

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18 minutes ago, Tony1 said:

 

Obviously the subject matter could be almost anything, but in this case I had in mind a real life example, with the idea of adding authenticity. 

How often should I feed Dave, my liveaboard llama..? 

 

The question troubles me night and day.

 

Wow, your boat must be getting a bit crowded as you now have a llama as well as a butler. I suppose one looks after the other though

What were you celebrating last night? 

 

Edited by haggis
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Poster O: posts something related to some longstanding grievance with Poster N which nobody else on the forum remembers

 

Poster P: changes the subject by starting a debate about composting toilets 

 

Poster Q: tries to calm down the debate about composting toilets by posting about Brexit

 

Poster R : tries to liven up the debate by posting a vlog

 

Poster S: posts how much they hate vlogs and vloggers, and especially this vlog and these vloggers. And especially vlogs about composting toilets

 

Poster T: posts something about how it's the CRTs fault for letting things slide really.

 

Everybody else: Posts their agreement with Poster T, and the forum is a happier, more united place again

 

The rest of the thread is just puns

Edited by enigmatic
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43 minutes ago, haggis said:

Wow, your boat must be getting a bit crowded as you now have a llama as well as a butler. I suppose one looks after the other though

What were you celebrating last night? 

 

 

Well Mr H, it appears that I am once again Laird of the Electrical Systems, which in my view was ample reason for celebration, after a few days of major puzzlement and frustration. 

 

My misbehaving MPPTs finally capitulated and started working in coordination with the fiendishly elaborate control system I concocted. 

I think they heard Nick Norman was looking into the matter, and decided to stop their shenanigans at once. 

 

PS - I'm afraid I had to dispense with the butler, both cooks, and even the maid. Budget constraints, really.

My imaginary shipmate Wilson still hangs about as you can imagine, but his days may be numbered...

 

 

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1 hour ago, MtB said:

 

Ah but there's the thing. I am thinking this is an allegory where your battery bank is, like mine, called "Dave", and needs feeding in much the same way as a real life llama aboard might.

 

 

 

A battery bank called Dave? What a ridiculous idea. 

 

My battery bank is called Dimitri, and he is considerably less trouble than that thug of a llama. 

 

 

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1 hour ago, Wittenham said:

Very good and I do think this thread would be improved immensely by assigning real CWF user names to the Poster letters. 

 

My legal team have advised that any resemblance to persons (or llamas) either living or dead is purely coincidental. 

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