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Self distancing


bizzard

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16 hours ago, bizzard said:

Many folk don't know how long a metre is, never mind 1.1/2 metres.  There's many ways to self distance oneself without goin about with a yard stick or tape measure when out and about especially when in shops.  Extra strong pungeant BO is a good one for keeping folk clear of you and coupled with bad breath as well even better, so no washing or bathing or changes of clothes whatsoever and chew plenty of garlic or onions before setting out, with a few spares in your pocket.

   But I have better solutions for this problem.  No one likes getting poked in the eye by spikey umbrellas, everyone should have one erected when out and about, come rain come shine, regardless. Enormous Sombrero's would work too up to a point, but better still the wearing of something big and noisy on your head would be better. An old steel dustbin lid or a very large industrial Wok which is more appropriate being of Chinese origin. The big deafening warning clang when either of those two meet one another should surely keep folk apart.  All quite simple. I shall telephone that dreadful Hancock fellow at the ministry tomorrow about my ideas. :closedeyes:.

You're late to the party. I have already proposed that everbody shall be required to wear crinolines.  They will be internet-aware and automatically retract to the current government standard as it passes through 1.5M, 1.0M and so on. Imperial versions will also be allowed.  Reports that early versions could occasionally contract to 0.0M are irresponsible.

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