Popular Post bizzard Posted June 16, 2020 Popular Post Report Share Posted June 16, 2020 Many folk don't know how long a metre is, never mind 1.1/2 metres. There's many ways to self distance oneself without goin about with a yard stick or tape measure when out and about especially when in shops. Extra strong pungeant BO is a good one for keeping folk clear of you and coupled with bad breath as well even better, so no washing or bathing or changes of clothes whatsoever and chew plenty of garlic or onions before setting out, with a few spares in your pocket. But I have better solutions for this problem. No one likes getting poked in the eye by spikey umbrellas, everyone should have one erected when out and about, come rain come shine, regardless. Enormous Sombrero's would work too up to a point, but better still the wearing of something big and noisy on your head would be better. An old steel dustbin lid or a very large industrial Wok which is more appropriate being of Chinese origin. The big deafening warning clang when either of those two meet one another should surely keep folk apart. All quite simple. I shall telephone that dreadful Hancock fellow at the ministry tomorrow about my ideas. . 3 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cuthound Posted June 17, 2020 Report Share Posted June 17, 2020 I believe the Chinese solved the social distancing problem for returning infant schoolchildren by getting them to wear wide brimmed sombrero style hats. ? Damned clever those Chinese. ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Naughty Cal Posted June 17, 2020 Report Share Posted June 17, 2020 One of these might suit some people better 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen-in-Wellies Posted June 17, 2020 Report Share Posted June 17, 2020 (edited) I'm in two minds about self distancing. ? How would someone with multiple personality disorder self distance? Edited June 17, 2020 by Jen-in-Wellies Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stilllearning Posted June 17, 2020 Report Share Posted June 17, 2020 24 minutes ago, Jen-in-Wellies said: I'm in two minds about self distancing. ? How would someone with multiple personality disorder self distance? By taking a long hard look at themselves? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen-in-Wellies Posted June 17, 2020 Report Share Posted June 17, 2020 7 minutes ago, Stilllearning said: By taking a long hard look at themselves? Through a telescope. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magnetman Posted June 17, 2020 Report Share Posted June 17, 2020 I always quite fancied a pool noodle hat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bizzard Posted June 17, 2020 Author Report Share Posted June 17, 2020 6 hours ago, Naughty Cal said: One of these might suit some people better In the words of Mr Hancock,'' That is incredibly incredible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magnetman Posted June 17, 2020 Report Share Posted June 17, 2020 Apparently you are allowed to invite others into your bubble but I'm unconvinced of the merits of doing so in this particular situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
system 4-50 Posted June 17, 2020 Report Share Posted June 17, 2020 16 hours ago, bizzard said: Many folk don't know how long a metre is, never mind 1.1/2 metres. There's many ways to self distance oneself without goin about with a yard stick or tape measure when out and about especially when in shops. Extra strong pungeant BO is a good one for keeping folk clear of you and coupled with bad breath as well even better, so no washing or bathing or changes of clothes whatsoever and chew plenty of garlic or onions before setting out, with a few spares in your pocket. But I have better solutions for this problem. No one likes getting poked in the eye by spikey umbrellas, everyone should have one erected when out and about, come rain come shine, regardless. Enormous Sombrero's would work too up to a point, but better still the wearing of something big and noisy on your head would be better. An old steel dustbin lid or a very large industrial Wok which is more appropriate being of Chinese origin. The big deafening warning clang when either of those two meet one another should surely keep folk apart. All quite simple. I shall telephone that dreadful Hancock fellow at the ministry tomorrow about my ideas. . You're late to the party. I have already proposed that everbody shall be required to wear crinolines. They will be internet-aware and automatically retract to the current government standard as it passes through 1.5M, 1.0M and so on. Imperial versions will also be allowed. Reports that early versions could occasionally contract to 0.0M are irresponsible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BilgePump Posted June 17, 2020 Report Share Posted June 17, 2020 Anyone out and about could have two metre cords with stones on the end attached to a belt. Twirl round the aisles like a Dirvish? and lord help anyone without the same who gets too close. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ditchcrawler Posted June 17, 2020 Report Share Posted June 17, 2020 How about a Tee Shirt or Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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