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Live aboard narrowboating and the impact on family life (children over 18)


JamesC

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Hi,

 

I've been having a conversation with my wife about plans for retirement and whether a live aboard narrowboat is an option for us. Now, although we are still a long way off knowing where our two children will end up living, she is concerned that not having a house and instead spending our retirement on the cut would have a negative impact on our relationship with our children (and potential grandchildren).

 

So, I'm interesting to know how live aboard narrowboaters feel their situation either positively or negatively impact their relationship with their children (and other family members)?

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Our kids at first thought we were weird as did other family. They all thought we would soon tire of it. 31 years later still full time liveaboards everyone knows we wouldn't go back full time to a house for a gold pig. We have a great relationship with all five kids and nine grandkids. Do it whilst alive as u will not be able when dead. 

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30 minutes ago, JamesC said:

Hi,

 

I've been having a conversation with my wife about plans for retirement and whether a live aboard narrowboat is an option for us. Now, although we are still a long way off knowing where our two children will end up living, she is concerned that not having a house and instead spending our retirement on the cut would have a negative impact on our relationship with our children (and potential grandchildren).

 

So, I'm interesting to know how live aboard narrowboaters feel their situation either positively or negatively impact their relationship with their children (and other family members)?

My experience of both being a father, a son and a son-in-law, is that you could get knotted up trying to second guess where your relatives might end up living!  With a boat you can move your home close to individual relatives as, and when desired/needed.  We keep a car, and still see both kids and both sets of parents once a month either at our, or theirs...

Edited by The Dreamer
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Just a thought...do what YOU BOTH really fancy doing.Life's too short & the world is full of 'if only' folk.Your family will love/cope with your decision & hopefully want what is best for you !

Edited by The Bearwood Boster
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I live aboard alone and continuously cruise extensively. As a family we hired many times when I was a kid, so they obviously love the boaty bits and never turn down a free holiday onboard with me. Since owning the boat other members of the family have joined us on a few days cruising and seemed to enjoy it just as much even though they'd never done anything like it before. Sometimes takes a little planning to get everyone in the right place at the right time and possibly have a hotel booked to make things more comfortable when the guest numbers are larger but it's always worked out great. 

 

Get it done! 

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We sold the house whilst my daughter was away at uni. Although the children had not slept in their own bedrooms for over a year they were still not happy about the loss of storage and security.

Luckily giving up the house and going self employed improved our finances substantially so we were able to give the children a deposit to get their own house.

They both enjoy visiting the boat for a night or two, but no longer than that.

 

.............Dave

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1 hour ago, JamesC said:

That was exactly my response to her.

  It sounds like it's more your dream then your wife's. It will not work if both of you are not 100% for it. I've seen this before and the relationship broke down after a year, one couple split up and the other lost a lot of money selling the boat and moved back on land. Both spent most of their time moored in a Marina and seldom went out. Both cases the men were more into it then the woman. Is your wife using the kids to politely say she does not want it?

Edited by PD1964
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33 minutes ago, dmr said:

We sold the house whilst my daughter was away at uni. Although the children had not slept in their own bedrooms for over a year they were still not happy about the loss of storage and security.

Luckily giving up the house and going self employed improved our finances substantially so we were able to give the children a deposit to get their own house.

They both enjoy visiting the boat for a night or two, but no longer than that.

 

.............Dave

We have 5 kids and 9 grandkids. Our boat is only 68 feet long so there is only room for the one bed. Ours never stay over as the floor is un comfy ?

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2 minutes ago, PD1964 said:

  It sounds like it's more your dream then your wife's. It will not work if both of you are not 100% for it. I've seen this before and the relationship broke down after a year, one couple split up and the other lost a lot of money selling the boat and moved back on land. Both spent most of their time moored in a Marina and seldom went out. Both cases the men were more into it then the woman. Is your wife using the kids to politely say she does not want it?

Wise words. I am lucky, my wife wouldn't live anywhere else but unless you both want it 100 percent just forget it. I've seen dozens and dozens of couples appear with great enthusiasm over the years soon to disappear. 

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31 minutes ago, mrsmelly said:

We have 5 kids and 9 grandkids. Our boat is only 68 feet long so there is only room for the one bed. Ours never stay over as the floor is un comfy ?

Give them enough beer and they sleep anywhere, one on the sofa, the other in the dogs bed (but dog does have a very good bed).

 

.................Dave

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  Living on the canals will not just be about the children especially being a couple. I don't know where your going to find the answers your after or certainly an honest answer. Most active posters on here either live or have a narrow boat, so they are all for the life on the canals and will tell you it's the best life and they all enjoy it.

 To get a true reflection you also need to speak to the couple's who have tried it, didn't like it and moved off. These people are probably not active on here anymore and want nothing to remind them of the mistake they made,  so on here you will get a bias answer to the question unless couples are truly honest.

 Also you will get advice from Single people living on a boat, their life on a boat is a complete different scenario to that of a couple, remember that.

  

Edited by PD1964
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9 hours ago, PD1964 said:

  Living on the canals will not just be about the children especially being a couple. I don't know where your going to find the answers your after or certainly an honest answer. Most active posters on here either live or have a narrow boat, so they are all for the life on the canals and will tell you it's the best life and they all enjoy it.

 To get a true reflection you also need to speak to the couple's who have tried it, didn't like it and moved off. These people are probably not active on here anymore and want nothing to remind them of the mistake they made,  so on here you will get a bias answer to the question unless couples are truly honest.

 Also you will get advice from Single people living on a boat, their life on a boat is a complete different scenario to that of a couple, remember that.

  

Here is one https://www.narrowboatworld.com/12044-winter-living-on-a-narrowboat

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13 hours ago, system 4-50 said:

From September 2020 we shall be doing the school run for two of our grandchildren and use of the (leisure) boat will move further down the priority queue.

 

That's exactly what we have found for the last few years. It's a privilege to be so involved with our grandchildren, but the boating has suffered. However, our priorites are still the right ones even though we have now "retired".   

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I would love to live full time on my boat. However my wife was completely honest with me from the start and always said she is happy holidaying on a boat but could never live on one full time.

 

The compromise for us was buying a canalside house when I retired.  Wife gets her house and holidays and I get to play with my boat every day if I want to.

 

You need to find out your wife's exact feelings regarding living on a boat and if she doesn't want to do it full time, find a compromise that works for both of you.

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3 minutes ago, cuthound said:

I would love to live full time on my boat. However my wife was completely honest with me from the start and always said she is happy holidaying on a boat but could never live on one full time.

 

The compromise for us was buying a canalside house when I retired.  Wife gets her house and holidays and I get to play with my boat every day if I want to.

 

You need to find out your wife's exact feelings regarding living on a boat and if she doesn't want to do it full time, find a compromise that works for both of you.

There's no way my first wife would have lived on a boat. We had a large 5 bedroomed house aged 28. This amongst other things is why she was my " first" wife ?

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5 hours ago, ditchcrawler said:

I have never been so toasty as on my narrowboat, though I might feel like a slave" to the stove (centrally placed, no ecofan) sometimes. The Eberspacher is left "on" auto all the time, and comes on if the fire starts to go out. The solid fuel stove with back-boiler is a bit dirty, I just wipe surfaces down with one of those wipes for kitchens every day, and that's about it. The boat seems well insulated, also well ventilated as cat comes and goes frequently.

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2 hours ago, LadyG said:

I have never been so toasty as on my narrowboat, though I might feel like a slave" to the stove (centrally placed, no ecofan) sometimes. The Eberspacher is left "on" auto all the time, and comes on if the fire starts to go out. The solid fuel stove with back-boiler is a bit dirty, I just wipe surfaces down with one of those wipes for kitchens every day, and that's about it. The boat seems well insulated, also well ventilated as cat comes and goes frequently.

 

Blimey, it must be well ventilated if a cat can get in and out of the air gaps! ?

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On 16/02/2020 at 21:19, PD1964 said:

  It sounds like it's more your dream then your wife's. It will not work if both of you are not 100% for it. I've seen this before and the relationship broke down after a year, one couple split up and the other lost a lot of money selling the boat and moved back on land. Both spent most of their time moored in a Marina and seldom went out. Both cases the men were more into it then the woman. Is your wife using the kids to politely say she does not want it?

Sorry, have been offline for a few days. Yes, to a degree it is my dream more than my wife's. We've been talking about it more over the last few days and she is now more approving of the idea having both agreed that we wouldn't want to spend our entire retirement on a boat (unless like a number of people on here we change our mind). Like somebody else has posted, it may be that we spend a year or two on the boat and then fall back to a house with mooring.

Oh and we can live with the cold winter weather - we currently live in a 400 year old draughty house :)
 

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Just to put the other side of the argument. I wouldn't live on a boat in a million years. Far too restrictive in room and, sometimes, facilities, not to mention expensive for what you actually get. I do have a narrow boat but it is purely for the pleasure of pootling up and down our local canal and having the occasional bar b que bankside.

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7 minutes ago, pete.i said:

Just to put the other side of the argument. I wouldn't live on a boat in a million years. Far too restrictive in room and, sometimes, facilities, not to mention expensive for what you actually get. I do have a narrow boat but it is purely for the pleasure of pootling up and down our local canal and having the occasional bar b que bankside.

I found all my houses restrictive. They were stuck in the same place. I am having to use one more often than I would like at present caring for my old mum. Being in the house bores me to death but it wouldn't do for us all to be the same. I have posted for years that living on my boat costs me more than my house ever did but the extra cost is worth it for the better lifestyle. My boat is however well specced. The only way to find anything out properly is to try it. Far better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. I suggest the op tries it whilst alive as it's too late when you have joined the gonna dos who have died. 

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