They Dont Hang Around Long

[Dr Bob]

I polish mine everyday.

[tree monkey]

17 minutes ago, Dr Bob said:

I polish mine everyday.

It's mine and I will polish it as much as I want

[Guest]

10 hours ago, Alan de Enfield said:

It was directed at me, and I don't have a clue.

It strikes me that I'm disinclined to explain to someone who claims to be both an experienced boater and (male?) human a mushroom vent / masturbation pun. Either there is more disingenuity in his posts (so to speak) than is apparent or all hope is pretty much lost...

 

For the more earnest I'm slightly tempted to make some responses to 'those of us who enjoy it', 'abuse', 'Ive been doing that on my boats since 1980 and its never been commented on before' and so forth but I'll leave those as an exercise for the more word-play friendly reader.

 

(There is a long tradition of bad British humour so you can have fun imagining how museum like the atmosphere is right now.)

[Alan de Enfield]

30 minutes ago, TheMenagerieAfloat said:

It strikes me that I'm disinclined to explain to someone who claims to be both an experienced boater and (male?) human a mushroom vent / masturbation pun. Either there is more disingenuity in his posts (so to speak) than is apparent or all hope is pretty much lost...

Then apparently 'all hope is lost' I had no idea to what you are referring.

I was male last time I looked.

I have been boating & also 'ditch crawling' for about 40 years.

Never heard the term in either context.

[peterboat]

1 minute ago, Alan de Enfield said:

Then apparently 'all hope is lost' I had no idea to what you are referring.

I was male last time I looked.

I have been boating & also 'ditch crawling' for about 40 years.

Never heard the term in either context.

Same here mate maybe we are just to old?

[Guest]

So what do you two call the mushroom shaped vents on the top of many canal boats?

 

Y'know... these things: https://www.midlandchandlers.co.uk/search?query=mushroom

Edited February 12, 2020 by TheMenagerieAfloat

[Alan de Enfield]

Just now, TheMenagerieAfloat said:

So what do you two call the mushroom shaped vents on the top of many canal boats?

Vents (Roof for the use of)

Edited February 12, 2020 by Alan de Enfield

[Guest]

8 minutes ago, Alan de Enfield said:

Vents (Roof for the use of)

Grasshopper, you are learning.

[Guest]

17 minutes ago, peterboat said:

Same here mate maybe we are just to old?

A bit vague perhaps... There are various roof venting options these days. Solar and everyfink. Innit.

[WotEver]

The direction this thread has taken is reminiscent of watching an episode of Perry Mason. I’ve seen all the words but I’m unable to make any coherent sense of them.

What on Earth IS TMA talking about?  Mushroom Polishers? Masturbation? Abuse?  What has any of this to do with fat boats on inappropriate waterways, or even the unrealistic expectations of the owners of such? Even if those owners are expensive. 

[Arthur Marshall]

17 minutes ago, TheMenagerieAfloat said:

Grasshopper, you are learning.

Don't worry about it. If you have a look at the political bit, you'll notice that there are some bona fide members who like to behave like trolls. They'll pretend to misunderstood, or to be ignorant of something, just to try to get a rise out of other members. Sometimes I rise to the bait, but it's best just to let them giggle behind their metaphorical net curtains, congratulating themselves on how clever they are. 

Now the political stuff is ghettoed, they're escaping into the pub and general areas. Ignore them, and they'll go away again, with a bit of luck.

[roland elsdon]

Well I genuinely did not understand the phrase mushroom polisher, until I worked out it was dislike of those who like maintain their boats.

Neglect is so trendy. However I am ahead of the game as the only time my car gets cleaned is when they service it.

My boat is mopped and polished whenever I can. It was what I was taught by ignorant narrowboat folk 40 odd years ago. On the Grand Union .

[Alan de Enfield]

10 minutes ago, roland elsdon said:

Well I genuinely did not understand the phrase mushroom polisher, until I worked out it was dislike of those who like maintain their boats.

 

Well, that at least 3 of us.

[WotEver]

25 minutes ago, roland elsdon said:

Well I genuinely did not understand the phrase mushroom polisher, until I worked out it was dislike of those who like maintain their boats.

What’s wrong with keeping your boat looking nice?

[Guest]

16 minutes ago, WotEver said:

What’s wrong with keeping your boat looking nice?

Mushroom polishing definitely won't send you blind... (and I hear @roland elsdon is particularly proud of his).

 

But it is an excellent description of some of the posts from some of our more veteran forum members.

[Guest]

53 minutes ago, Arthur Marshall said:

Don't worry about it. If you have a look at the political bit, you'll notice that there are some bona fide members who like to behave like trolls. They'll pretend to misunderstood, or to be ignorant of something, just to try to get a rise out of other members. Sometimes I rise to the bait, but it's best just to let them giggle behind their metaphorical net curtains, congratulating themselves on how clever they are. 

Now the political stuff is ghettoed, they're escaping into the pub and general areas. Ignore them, and they'll go away again, with a bit of luck.

Ah, was unaware of the forum rearrangement. But I do see what you mean about the trolling. I was having a difficult day when I replied to this thread and needed some lighter distraction. Is a shame how rotten they are being with some of the (even) newer members but people are only people wherever one finds them...

[roland elsdon]

3 hours ago, TheMenagerieAfloat said:

Mushroom polishing definitely won't send you blind... (and I hear @roland elsdon is particularly proud of his).

 

But it is an excellent description of some of the posts from some of our more veteran forum members.

Actually our cabin  roof vents are painted.

They are not brass. You can see the confusion. 

However our brass work is done daily when possible.

 

[blackrose]

On 10/02/2020 at 09:56, Mike the Boilerman said:

 

This is the nub of it. The GU was designed and built for narrow boats, but is being filled up with widebeams by people with little or no interest in boating. People whose only or main concern is to obtain accommodation as similar as possible to a house, but cheaper.

 

 

 

 

 

I'm no expert on the history of commercial use of the southern GU but weren't there always broad beam boats using it? According to Wikipedia "The section of the main line between Brentford and Braunston (formerly the Grand Junction Canal), was built as a 'wide' or 'broad' canal – that is, its locks were wide enough to accommodate two narrowboats abreast (side by side) or a single wide barge up to 14 feet (4.3 m) in beam."

 

The other thing to mention is that the owners of widebeam boats certainly have no monopoly on lacking any interest in boating. In absolute numbers I'm pretty sure that award goes to the owners of the many thousands of moored narrowboats across the country that never move.

Edited February 13, 2020 by blackrose

[Guest]

29 minutes ago, roland elsdon said:

Actually our cabin  roof vents are painted.

They are not brass.

Have you no respect for tradition?!? I think I've just decided that boats without (occupants who know wtf) brass mushroom vents (are) are definitely not what the canals were built for. Suggest you remove your craft to hard standing in shame forthwith until the matter has been rectified. 

[Guest]

15 minutes ago, blackrose said:

 

I'm no expert on the history of commercial use of the southern GU but weren't there always broad beam boats using it? According to Wikipedia "The section of the main line between Brentford and Braunston (formerly the Grand Junction Canal), was built as a 'wide' or 'broad' canal – that is, its locks were wide enough to accommodate two narrowboats abreast (side by side) or a single wide barge up to 14 feet (4.3 m) in beam."

Yes, but we can't go letting actual historical fact go getting in the way of a bunch of old prejudiced whingers having a good time bitching at those they perceive as being different to themselves.

 

Similarly we can talk of 'the life' and 'boating' as though those forced into either by economics in days gone by were somehow more inherently dedicated to them than those forced into them by economics today. When we all secretly want such realities cleared from the cut in favour of retired people diddling around with brasses and muttering about how superior they are. 

Edited February 13, 2020 by TheMenagerieAfloat

[roland elsdon]

24 minutes ago, TheMenagerieAfloat said:

Have you no respect for tradition?!? I think I've just decided that boats without (occupants who know wtf) brass mushroom vents (are) are definitely not what the canals were built for. Suggest you remove your craft to hard standing in shame forthwith until the matter has been rectified. 

Ha ha very good. However our vents are pre midland chandlers brassy things. They are pitted and ancient bit like me. 
The Grand Union Canal Carrying Company did not run to fripperies.

 

Back to my boat in 2 weeks today from the rain and the wind of Australia.

First job clean the brass.....

[roland elsdon]

We were forced on to the canal in 1980 through economic necessity. We came to love it. Picked up the traditions, carried cargo ran trip boats, and polished brass. 
Its ingrained. We escaped  emigrated bought acreage and returned. Cant get it out of the blood, and happily we see new generations loving it.

[Captain Pegg]

4 hours ago, blackrose said:

 

I'm no expert on the history of commercial use of the southern GU but weren't there always broad beam boats using it? According to Wikipedia "The section of the main line between Brentford and Braunston (formerly the Grand Junction Canal), was built as a 'wide' or 'broad' canal – that is, its locks were wide enough to accommodate two narrowboats abreast (side by side) or a single wide barge up to 14 feet (4.3 m) in beam."

 

The other thing to mention is that the owners of widebeam boats certainly have no monopoly on lacking any interest in boating. In absolute numbers I'm pretty sure that award goes to the owners of the many thousands of moored narrowboats across the country that never move.

 

4 hours ago, TheMenagerieAfloat said:

Yes, but we can't go letting actual historical fact go getting in the way of a bunch of old prejudiced whingers having a good time bitching at those they perceive as being different to themselves.

 

Similarly we can talk of 'the life' and 'boating' as though those forced into either by economics in days gone by were somehow more inherently dedicated to them than those forced into them by economics today. When we all secretly want such realities cleared from the cut in favour of retired people diddling around with brasses and muttering about how superior they are. 

No it wasn’t. Not between Berkhamsted and Braunston which as I have already pointed out is why it has long been maintained to different standards and is less suitable for wide beam craft than the southern part of the route despite having been built to the same standard (other than the aforementioned geographical pinch points which are also absent on the southern section).

 

JP

[Mike Hurley]

10 hours ago, TheMenagerieAfloat said:

 human a mushroom vent / masturbation pun. 

I got it straight away, shape of the end of the male appendage.................

[Guest]

5 hours ago, roland elsdon said:

Ha ha very good. However our vents are pre midland chandlers brassy things. They are pitted and ancient bit like me. 

When you get back suggest you post a photo (OF THE MUSHROOM VENTS) so we can all admire the paintwork im sure you maintain diligently and those more aged than me can help you identify what the flip metal they are made of...