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Vanessa1402

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3 minutes ago, Mike the Boilerman said:

 

Me too. Being solo and suiting myself is totally BRILLIANT!

 

And yet I seem to find I get along SO WELL with peeps in the same position. 

 

 

Indeed. I’ve had more relationships than I care to remember- from 10 years of marriage to a torrid 20 minutes If that counts. And I don’t see why it shouldn’t , all connections are valid, however brief. 
 

I have learned that men make wonderful friends but terrible partners-or maybe that’s me? Anyway, I love being free to please myself. As it were. 

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I think I was born in the wrong era - I just don't understand any of this Cods and Pollack's (Didn't mean to mention fish - maybe I got away with it !!).

Individually I understand the words, but string them together and ……………………………...

 

 

What Does Self-Partnering Mean?

In Western developed society self-partnering is barely recognised.

And even if we have some kind of idea what it might be, do we know how to do it?

Possibly not …

Self-partnering is the biggest determinant within this Thriver Community, because to have a true recovery after narcissistic abuse depends on one essential ingredient, “Am I willing to self-partner myself or not?”

Also is the willingness to understand this: “My relationship with narcissists reflects back to me how I am not as yet self-partnered, and how I can be affected in terrible ways because of this.”

Our unfortunate programming – the turning away from self-partnering – is the biggest reason why we were narcissistically abused … truly.

Therefore, it is time for this article, as this topic is too big to address in a video …. and I really hope it can help you if you are feeling confused about self-partnering.

I also deeply wish that you will be inspired to understand how everything in your life is determined by how self-partnered you are or aren’t.

Edited by Alan de Enfield
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5 minutes ago, Vanessa1402 said:

kind of gets up my nose when people are smug and superior about their lifestyle choices.

 

Oh bugger.... 

 

Best I don't mention I torn between me bote and my pretty little thatched cottage near the canal now then eh?....

 

 

 

Edited by Mike the Boilerman
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2 minutes ago, Vanessa1402 said:

Ah, so you see that living a “real life” (I.e a life that you have decided is superior to one chosen by others) can be combined with paying attention to things that happen on the internet. 
kind of gets up my nose when people are smug and superior about their lifestyle choices. You are no better or worse than anybody else, including those who choose to follow social media. Even if you have decided to dismiss that as vacuous. 

I never said I was better or worse but obviously you want what my life has or you wouldn't be on here asking about living on a narrow boat.

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1 minute ago, Alan de Enfield said:

I think I was born in the wrong era - I just don't understand any of this Cods and Pollack's (Didn't mean to mention fish - maybe I got away with it !!).

 

 

What Does Self-Partnering Mean?

In Western developed society self-partnering is barely recognised.

And even if we have some kind of idea what it might be, do we know how to do it?

Possibly not …

Self-partnering is the biggest determinant within this Thriver Community, because to have a true recovery after narcissistic abuse depends on one essential ingredient, “Am I willing to self-partner myself or not?”

Also is the willingness to understand this: “My relationship with narcissists reflects back to me how I am not as yet self-partnered, and how I can be affected in terrible ways because of this.”

Our unfortunate programming – the turning away from self-partnering – is the biggest reason why we were narcissistically abused … truly.

Therefore, it is time for this article, as this topic is too big to address in a video …. and I really hope it can help you if you are feeling confused about self-partnering.

I also deeply wish that you will be inspired to understand how everything in your life is determined by how self-partnered you are or aren’t.

100% computer generated text...

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Just now, PD1964 said:

I never said I was better or worse but obviously you want what my life has or you wouldn't be on here asking about living on a narrow boat.

Is it all or nothing in your world? Is there a “way” of living on a narrow boat that is pre prescribed? Who made the rules,you? 
suppose I lived on a narrow it’s and yet immersed myself in social media. I read about Kim Kardashian’s toilet habits between lock changes perhaps, or kept up-to-date with Katie Price’s latest car crash relationship. Would that mean I had to be frogmarched off my boat and installed in the nearest trailer park?

For a person who probably imagines themselves to be all about freedom , you’re coming across as a bit narrow minded. 

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14 minutes ago, Vanessa1402 said:

Is it all or nothing in your world? Is there a “way” of living on a narrow boat that is pre prescribed? Who made the rules,you? 
suppose I lived on a narrow it’s and yet immersed myself in social media. I read about Kim Kardashian’s toilet habits between lock changes perhaps, or kept up-to-date with Katie Price’s latest car crash relationship. Would that mean I had to be frogmarched off my boat and installed in the nearest trailer park?

For a person who probably imagines themselves to be all about freedom , you’re coming across as a bit narrow minded. 

  Sorry I live life on the real canals not through YouTube Vlogs, So please wait till you get a narrowboat (IF you ever do) and live on it before you judge those that do full time. 

  Anyway just off for a walk down the canal with the dog as a nice night, not a bad life.

 

Edited by PD1964
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39 minutes ago, Vanessa1402 said:

What’s the sigh for, do you disapprove of a more empowering way of saying “single”? 

What on earth does an ‘empowering way of saying “single”’ even mean?  I know lots of folk in relationships and I know lots of single folk. To the best of my knowledge none of them have felt disenfranchised by describing themselves in those terms. It’s just more PC BS. 

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Oh dear! Looks like lots of peeps are getting very airyated over perceived misogynists and/or Gender discrimination. 

Personally if anyone wants to put me down, cover your ‘nads, grit your teeth and accept what’s coming. 

If I want to work the locks that’s between me and the steerer. If I want to steer, that’s between me and the lockwheeler. 

If I do either or both incompetently, that;s no one else’s business, it’s not YOUR boat I’m damaging. 

 

MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS PEEPS!!!!

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Just now, Dyertribe said:

Oh dear! Looks like lots of peeps are getting very airyated over perceived misogynists and/or Gender discrimination. 

Personally if anyone wants to put me down, cover your ‘nads, grit your teeth and accept what’s coming. 

If I want to work the locks that’s between me and the steerer. If I want to steer, that’s between me and the lockwheeler. 

If I do either or both incompetently, that;s no one else’s business, it’s not YOUR boat I’m damaging. 

 

MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS PEEPS!!!!

 

Far Canal, watch out, she's WELSHISH......

 

 

 

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11 minutes ago, Dyertribe said:

If I want to work the locks that’s between me and the steerer. If I want to steer, that’s between me and the lockwheeler. 

If I do either or both incompetently, that;s no one else’s business, it’s not YOUR boat I’m damaging. 

Yes, yes, but are you self-partnered?  Apparently this is the new ‘in phrase’ according to someone called Emma. 

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1 minute ago, WotEver said:

Yes, yes, but are you self-partnered?  Apparently this is the new ‘in phrase’ according to someone called Emma. 

Nope, I was single until the ripe old age of 35 and have now been married for 25 years. 

When I was single, i was just that, single. (Self partnered sounds like a weird form of masturbation IMHO). 

Should i find myself without a husband at anytime I will be, once again SINGLE. 

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42 minutes ago, WotEver said:

What on earth does an ‘empowering way of saying “single”’ even mean?  I know lots of folk in relationships and I know lots of single folk. To the best of my knowledge none of them have felt disenfranchised by describing themselves in those terms. It’s just more PC BS. 

  She was single at the start of this Thread now she's self-partnering, I don't understand it, I must be doing something wrong, as she says I'm "narrow minded" Shame I'm a couple of years older then her, have my own boat, retired so don't need to work again, have successful children with grandchildren. Yet she has moved in and lives with her parents, is saving for a narrow boat and has not yet retired. Being narrow minded has it's benefits. Sorry Vanessa you glamour queen (sorry that was me being narrow minded looking at your avatar, maybe I should have a more open one, but as they say a picture paints a thousand words, or a couple of books to a Librarian)

Edited by PD1964
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1 minute ago, Dyertribe said:

Nope, I was single until the ripe old age of 35 and have now been married for 25 years. 

When I was single, i was just that, single. (Self partnered sounds like a weird form of masturbation IMHO). 

Should i find myself without a husband at anytime I will be, once again SINGLE. 

Ditto :)

 

Except for the husband bit... that would have to read ‘wife’ in my case. And the age when I got married... that was 33. But that was my 2nd marriage... and... this is getting too complicated now ;)

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2 hours ago, WotEver said:

If I didn’t open the door for my missus (car, shop, home, whatever) not only would I feel very uncomfortable but she would wonder what she’d done to upset me. I also give up my seat to ladies on a bus or train and if I get a response such as “Do I look disabled?” as I have on occasions, my reply is along the lines of “Not at all, but I can’t escape my manners.”

 

"You shouldn't hold the door open for me just because I'm a lady!"

"I didn't. I held it open for you because I am a gentleman."

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1 hour ago, PD1964 said:

  She was single at the start of this Thread now she's self-partnering, I don't understand it, I must be doing something wrong, as she says I'm "narrow minded" Shame I'm a couple of years older then her, have my own boat, retired so don't need to work again, have successful children with grandchildren. Yet she has moved in and lives with her parents, is saving for a narrow boat and has not yet retired. Being narrow minded has it's benefits. Sorry Vanessa you glamour queen (sorry that was me being narrow minded looking at your avatar, maybe I should have a more open one, but as they say a picture paints a thousand words, or a couple of books to a Librarian)

A deeply unpleasant post. Why be so nasty just because another person has a different set of beliefs?

Yes, you should open your mind, if only to accept they have the right to hold and express their beliefs without fear of riducule.

That's just plain decency, nothing to do with gender

Oh and thank your lucky stars that you've ended up in a financially secure place where you own your own boat. Don't gloat about it - we were there a couple of years ago until ill health on my part shattered our dream.

 

Edited by Ange
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2 hours ago, PD1964 said:

  Sorry I live life on the real canals not through YouTube Vlogs, So please wait till you get a narrowboat (IF you ever do) and live on it before you judge those that do full time. 

  Anyway just off for a walk down the canal with the dog as a nice night, not a bad life.

 

Dear me! I think you’ll find I was calling YOU out on judging others-which you continue to do-and pointing out that smugness is not an attractive character trait. 
In your opinion, your lifestyle may be the best thing ever. Others may disagree. Guess what? You’re not right and neither are they. 
What is clear is that you can’t bear a bit of criticism , constructive or otherwise. 
I suggest you learn to take yourself a little less seriously. Then perhaps you wouldn’t vine across as a humourless , self righteous individual. Enjoy your walk. 

1 hour ago, Dyertribe said:

Oh dear! Looks like lots of peeps are getting very airyated over perceived misogynists and/or Gender discrimination. 

Personally if anyone wants to put me down, cover your ‘nads, grit your teeth and accept what’s coming. 

If I want to work the locks that’s between me and the steerer. If I want to steer, that’s between me and the lockwheeler. 

If I do either or both incompetently, that;s no one else’s business, it’s not YOUR boat I’m damaging. 

 

MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS PEEPS!!!!

I don’t think anyone even suggested they care tbh. 

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1 hour ago, WotEver said:

What on earth does an ‘empowering way of saying “single”’ even mean?  I know lots of folk in relationships and I know lots of single folk. To the best of my knowledge none of them have felt disenfranchised by describing themselves in those terms. It’s just more PC BS. 

Because “single” may imply one is lacking something maybe?  

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