Newbie

[PD1964]

3 minutes ago, TheMenagerieAfloat said:

In some relationships I'm the instigator/bread winner/typically the driver/etc. In others I've been the one who has doors held open for them/blushes when given jewellery/etc. 

 

Talking abt the dynamic. Not the genitals. 

OK

[LadyG]

I've wandered in to Mumsnet ?

[mrsmelly]

19 minutes ago, TheMenagerieAfloat said:

It probably isn't to someone who knows a (presumably older than me) woman with the confidence issues that can come from the upbringing someone like that may have had. 

 

But in the abstract, yeah, it kinda is.

 

FWIW I observe a lot of 'learned helplessness' in both partners in many long term couples. I've never consistently been either 'the man' or 'the woman' in a particular LTR so need to be able to pick up most skills. But I do get the attraction of not doing.

 

And we haven't discussed the men who feel they 'ought' to steer/put an animal out of its misery/fix the plumbing/etc but find whole experience intimidating and emasculating. 

 

Had the funniest conversation with an ex the other day... They were *shocked* to find I'd been the one to propose to my ex spouse, despite them being very egalitarian in many respects. 

 

Realised that I'd been 'the girl' with that one and would never have proposed. Whereas it felt perfect natural when I was 'the man'. 

The thing is its PC today to be enraged when we treat women and men differently. If you ask my mum she says that womens rights and equality etc are ridiculous as she always liked it when men doffed their caps to her in the street and if on a bus stood up to offer their seat and always but always opened a door for her in shops etc. She is in  no way subserviant to the male of the species but is not so precious as many of the youngsters about today who feel its only right to complain about everything. Mum is 99 so she is from an age of polite people long since gone which is a shame, she of course also went through the entirety of WW2 as a n adult so the trivia such as equal rights that people moan about today would have been in nobodys mind.

[PD1964]

10 minutes ago, LadyG said:

I've wandered in to Mumsnet ?

I just don't know what she's on about, obviously studied Philosophy or something.

Edited January 2, 2020 by PD1964

[MtB]

16 minutes ago, LadyG said:

I've wandered in to Mumsnet ?

 

So is there a dadsnet?

 

Curious if not....

 

 

 

[Laurie Booth]

21 hours ago, bizzard said:

Incidentally. During the 1970's we were invited by a friend that worked at BBC TV centre White city who took us on a tour of the place. His name was Mike Kennedy and in charge at the time of seeing to the 9pm BBC2 news, incoming news, film, photo's ect.  On the tour we watched Cilla Black rehersing for her Cilla Black show. The cast of Colditz also rehersing. We then went for a drink up in the celebs bar. In the there drinking were Cilla Black, Cliff Richard and guess who else, BLoody Jimmy SaVILE.

I thought perhaps you may have known Mike Kennedy a tallish chap with specs, he was a fellow member of Round Table.

 

Sorry I don't know Mike Kennedy. Great for you to have met so many celebs in one place. I was in a similar situation at Pinewood studios, I was being treated for lunch there and my host whispered to me "If you run about this restaurant with a signature book, I'll kill you "

  

[WotEver]

38 minutes ago, mrsmelly said:

The thing is its PC today to be enraged when we treat women and men differently. If you ask my mum she says that womens rights and equality etc are ridiculous as she always liked it when men doffed their caps to her in the street and if on a bus stood up to offer their seat and always but always opened a door for her in shops etc. She is in  no way subserviant to the male of the species but is not so precious as many of the youngsters about today who feel its only right to complain about everything. Mum is 99 so she is from an age of polite people long since gone which is a shame, she of course also went through the entirety of WW2 as a n adult so the trivia such as equal rights that people moan about today would have been in nobodys mind.

If I didn’t open the door for my missus (car, shop, home, whatever) not only would I feel very uncomfortable but she would wonder what she’d done to upset me. I also give up my seat to ladies on a bus or train and if I get a response such as “Do I look disabled?” as I have on occasions, my reply is along the lines of “Not at all, but I can’t escape my manners.”

 

I don’t consider that good manners have anything to do with sexism and if the lady in question says “No, after you” then I’ll oblige. 

[restlessnomad]

1 hour ago, PD1964 said:

 

What¿ Are you being serious or just acting the fool with that remark?

I can confirm that it was a indeed a joke and was received as such by the intended recipient( judging from reaction smiley left)

Edited January 2, 2020 by restlessnomad

[restlessnomad]

53 minutes ago, LadyG said:

I've wandered in to Mumsnet ?

In the past, whenever I searched for a desirable location to live, mumsnets comes as the top hit in google search (basically moms have been asking similar question).. so has been really useful for me.

[Laurie Booth]

11 hours ago, PD1964 said:

  I often laugh at some older men I see on the canal a lot who have not been boating long who shout at their other half while she struggles to get the lock gates open.  They have that traditional mentality that they steer and the woman has to do the locks, often they aren't strong enough to do them which leads to an argument as the man will not help and just stands there on the boat in the lock while she waits for a helpful passer by.

Well, my wife refuses to steer our boat so she does the locks. Yes, I'm fed up of nasty remarks from on lookers suggesting I'm a male pig.

[PD1964]

Just now, Laurie.Booth said:

Well, my wife refuses to steer our boat so she does the locks. Yes, I'm fed up of nasty remarks from on lookers suggesting I'm a male pig.

The male pigs are the ones that shout and be little their wife's when they're obviously struggling or un able to open the lock gate, whilst standing on the back of the boat with a face like a slapped ar$e.

[Laurie Booth]

1 minute ago, PD1964 said:

The male pigs are the ones that shout and be little their wife's when they're obviously struggling or un able to open the lock gate, whilst standing on the back of the boat with a face like a slapped ar$e.

Tell that to the onlookers 

[haggis]

21 minutes ago, Laurie.Booth said:

Well, my wife refuses to steer our boat so she does the locks. Yes, I'm fed up of nasty remarks from on lookers suggesting I'm a male pig.

If anyone makes a comment about me working the lock, I just tell them that I have the best job and if they hang around they will see how little I do and how much iain does. 

 

haggis

[MtB]

25 minutes ago, Laurie.Booth said:

Well, my wife refuses to steer our boat so she does the locks. Yes, I'm fed up of nasty remarks from on lookers suggesting I'm a male pig.

 

When I go out cruising with Coasty its brilliant coz she WILL steer the boat, and I gets to do the locks. Yay!!!!

 

In fact we mighr posibly have the odd slight argument about who has to steer the bote....

 

 

Now don't get me started on bloody vollies, barging in when it's MY TURN to do the locks....

 

 

 

[Vanessa1402]

1 hour ago, TheMenagerieAfloat said:

In some relationships I'm the instigator/bread winner/typically the driver/etc. In others I've been the one who has doors held open for them/blushes when given jewellery/etc. 

 

Talking abt the dynamic. Not the genitals. 

Meh, kind of why I’m self partnered now, too much role playing and nonsense in relationships. Had my fill and then some . 

[PD1964]

2 minutes ago, Vanessa1402 said:

Meh, kind of why I’m self partnered now, too much role playing and nonsense in relationships. Had my fill and then some . 

Self partnered is that the new "Single"

[WotEver]

1 minute ago, PD1964 said:

Self partnered is that the new "Single"

So it would appear.... :::sigh:::

[Vanessa1402]

Just now, PD1964 said:

Self partnered is that the new "Single"

Yup- phrase coined by Emma Watson. It’s all over social media, where you been at? 

1 minute ago, WotEver said:

So it would appear.... :::sigh:::

What’s the sigh for, do you disapprove of a more empowering way of saying “single”? 

[PD1964]

Just now, Vanessa1402 said:

Yup- phrase coined by Emma Watson. It’s all over social media, where you been at? 

Having a life outdoors on the canal and not living it on social media. Sorry for living in the real world.

[Vanessa1402]

Just now, PD1964 said:

Having a life outdoors on the canal and not living it on social media. Sorry for living in the real world.

Yet here you are on social media.... 

[PD1964]

6 minutes ago, Vanessa1402 said:

Yet here you are on social media.... 

Yes, sitting on the front of my boat in the cold fresh air, shame it's cloudy as I'd rather be looking at the stars.

Edited January 2, 2020 by PD1964

[MtB]

13 minutes ago, Vanessa1402 said:

Meh, kind of why I’m self partnered now, too much role playing and nonsense in relationships. Had my fill and then some . 

 

Me too. Being solo and suiting myself is totally BRILLIANT!

 

And yet I seem to find I get along SO WELL with peeps in the same position. 

 

 

[restlessnomad]

9 minutes ago, Vanessa1402 said:

Yup- phrase coined by Emma Watson. It’s all over social media, where you been at? 

What’s the sigh for, do you disapprove of a more empowering way of saying “single”? 

thought self-partnered means slightly different from single, it shows the intention as oppose to status.

 

[Vanessa1402]

1 minute ago, PD1964 said:

Yes, sitting on the front of my boat in the cold fresh air.

Ah, so you see that living a “real life” (I.e a life that you have decided is superior to one chosen by others) can be combined with paying attention to things that happen on the internet. 
kind of gets up my nose when people are smug and superior about their lifestyle choices. You are no better or worse than anybody else, including those who choose to follow social media. Even if you have decided to dismiss that as vacuous. 

[restlessnomad]

fight.. fight.. fight..