Jump to content
Strawberry Orange Banana Lime Leaf Slate Sky Blueberry Grape Watermelon Chocolate Marble
Strawberry Orange Banana Lime Leaf Slate Sky Blueberry Grape Watermelon Chocolate Marble
Sir Nibble

Let's run a canal.

Featured Posts

Bored, so I thought I would start a fun what if.

Scenario.

We, us, CWDF have dug a canal. It's just over a hundred miles long with forty two (😁) locks twelve of which are in a single flight. It has a navigable width of twenty five feet and fourteen by seventy two foot locks. It passes through both urban and rural areas with "heritage" all over the place. It connects to a navigable CaRT river at each end. Water abstraction for the summit pound is agreed but pumps not yet installed.

Having dug it, we have to bring it into use. We are the steering committee. Proposals?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
10 minutes ago, Sir Nibble said:

Having dug it, we have to bring it into use. We are the steering committee. Proposals?

We need to decide on the minimum water depth / boat draft allowed.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Have we got an aqueduct?  We need an aqueduct.  If we have an aqueduct, particularly if it is long and high, we can light it up at night, and all the people we want to bring their boats to see it.  Of course, we need lots of boats, because as the nice people  at ANT will attest, trying to run a comparatively short stretch of navigation, whilst maintaining our independence, means we will have to charge an extraordinarily high licence fee!   

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 minutes ago, The Dreamer said:

Have we got an aqueduct?  We need an aqueduct.  If we have an aqueduct, particularly if it is long and high, we can light it up at night, and all the people we want to bring their boats to see it.  Of course, we need lots of boats, because as the nice people  at ANT will attest, trying to run a comparatively short stretch of navigation, whilst maintaining our independence, means we will have to charge an extraordinarily high licence fee!   

Of course we need boats, we wouldn't have dug it otherwise. Unfortunately no aqueduct but it does pass through a lovely piece of natural woodland we could light up if we want a Walt Disney canal.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You need an expensive medal and advertising campaign to attract cyclists, runners and fishermen to spoil the experience of the boating community? (Now ducking and hiding).

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 minutes ago, Sir Nibble said:

Walt Disney canal.

Na, don’t want a Disney canal, we would have to add coconut essence to the water, and play an eternal loop of “It’s a Small World”.

 

note: I am now aware that the whole of CWDF will be humming the aforementioned ear worm...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
27 minutes ago, Sir Nibble said:

Bored, so I thought I would start a fun what if.

Scenario.

We, us, CWDF have dug a canal. It's just over a hundred miles long with forty two (😁) locks twelve of which are in a single flight. It has a navigable width of twenty five feet and fourteen by seventy two foot locks. It passes through both urban and rural areas with "heritage" all over the place. It connects to a navigable CaRT river at each end. Water abstraction for the summit pound is agreed but pumps not yet installed.

Having dug it, we have to bring it into use. We are the steering committee. Proposals?

Lack of ambition I fear.  We should do the 300-foot canal!

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grand_Contour_Canal

 

Our (probably) next Prime Minister was spouting on about supporting it a few years ago - he seems to have gone quiet on the topic since he got into a position he could actually make it happen!

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
58 minutes ago, Alan de Enfield said:

We need to decide on the minimum water depth / boat draft allowed.

I would also want to set the maximum beam allowed.   14' locks and 25' canal width.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Jerra said:

I would also want to set the maximum beam allowed.   14' locks and 25' canal width.

I would think that room for two 14' boats to pass each other would help ...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 minute ago, restlessnomad said:

We need canal builder tycoon sim game...

or for my left leaning friends... canal minister 2020

You don't mean the NCCC do you ?

 

 

 

 

 

(National Corbyn Canal Co).

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
14 minutes ago, Alan de Enfield said:

You don't mean the NCCC do you ?

 

 

 

 

 

(National Corbyn Canal Co).

only a bourgeoisie will have such impure thought, the canal company will be called 'national united canal of the proletariat'

Edited by restlessnomad
  • Greenie 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
11 hours ago, Sir Nibble said:

Bored, so I thought I would start a fun what if.

Scenario.

We, us, CWDF have dug a canal. It's just over a hundred miles long with forty two (😁) locks twelve of which are in a single flight. It has a navigable width of twenty five feet and fourteen by seventy two foot locks. It passes through both urban and rural areas with "heritage" all over the place. It connects to a navigable CaRT river at each end. Water abstraction for the summit pound is agreed but pumps not yet installed.

Having dug it, we have to bring it into use. We are the steering committee. Proposals?

Reduce the lock width to a sensible 7'

  • Greenie 1
  • Horror 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The talk so far has centred upon geographical and physical features. How about people? Such a canal would need lengthsmen and other competent staff to ensure smooth running and prompt, professional repair to any damage or malfunction, and to ensure a consistently navigable depth.

 

Incidentally, Snibs, is this waterway a total figment of your imagination or is it based upon a real one?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

We need a parakeet reserve, a sensory towpath, an outdoor gym, a cycle track, and a space for meditation. The newts need somewhere to live, and the water voles. 

 

The forty-two locks could be a focus for poetry and meditation... 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

First thing you need is a committee to create signs. They should come from an industry with no knowledge of law, engineering, environment or common sense. The signs need to be welcoming and inclusive, gender neutral and non threatening. Ideally they should be sign only so as not to offend the illiterate or those for whom English is not a first language.

 

Right thats the easy bit

next

  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
14 hours ago, Sir Nibble said:

Of course we need boats, we wouldn't have dug it otherwise. Unfortunately no aqueduct but it does pass through a lovely piece of natural woodland we could light up if we want a Walt Disney canal.

 

Sorry, that is light pollution, we need to ban modern ideas like that.

I need a budgie budget.

Cost per lifting bridge, also a caisson as per Falkirk.

KELPIES, LOTS OF ART, iron horseshoe men in water.

Anchor practicing by artificial weir.

Welly Boot Throwing and Beer Festival Weekend 

test

test2   

,,,,3

Edited by LadyG
--------

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, Athy said:

The talk so far has centred upon geographical and physical features. How about people? Such a canal would need lengthsmen and other competent staff to ensure smooth running and prompt, professional repair to any damage or malfunction, and to ensure a consistently navigable depth.

 

Incidentally, Snibs, is this waterway a total figment of your imagination or is it based upon a real one?

Completely imaginary

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.