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cheshire~rose

Aunty Wainwright's Splendid Summer Charity Auction

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To put an end to the messages I get asking when the next round of auction silliness will occur I thought I better pull my finger out and get on with it

 

Here it is folks, the much anticipated 2019 Aunty Wainwrights Charity Auction Catalogue.

 

The expected eclectic mix of 10 lots with something for EVERYONE.  Of course, if any of you have an item you would like to add to the auction then there is always space for a few more items so just let me know. I have no noodles, sardines or any ducks (yet) But I am sure there will be some tantalising morsel to covert that you will want to bid on so scroll on down.

 

All proceeds raised go to Chesterfield Canal Trust to further the wonderful work they are doing on the restoration.

 

If you have been living the life of a hobbit and don't know about the great work they do then you can read a lot about it here :

http://www.chesterfield-canal-trust.org.uk/gallery/photos/staveley-town-lock/

 

There are loads of photos of people working really hard doing proper heavy construction work and they would really appreciate your help to pay for a bit more cement or a few blocks.

 

We have a canal to restore by 2027!

 

The rules:

 

Bidding starts as soon as a lot is listed and any forum member can bid as many times and on as many items as they wish. If you wish to bid on something in secret then you can message me and I will post the bid on your behalf.

 

Each has a start price of 1p and has no reserve.

 

Bidding closes at 7:30pm on Monday 19th August 2018. Just over a week to go.

 

The winner will be the person with the highest bid entered BEFORE 7:30pm.

 

Payment can be made by Paypal - direct to Chesterfield Canal Trust, cheque or in cash.

 

It is possible to post any of the items to the winning bidder if required. Postage will be charged at cost price and the most economic method will be offered. If you are concerned about the cost of postage please ask for a quote before bidding.

 

Items can be collected from Chesterfield or Clayworth (near Retford). We can also take items to Alvecote for One Big Weekend for those who are going, or possibly to hand them to someone from your area who will be there :

 

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To bid simply create a post stating the lot number and title of the item you are bidding on along with your bid price.

 

Good luck everyone!

 

Lot 1: A beautifully engineered vintage baloon whisk, just what every boater needs, a method to mix your Angel Delight without putting the inverter on! Stainless steel blades on the whisk and a nylon gearing making it smooth and easy to operate as. It has a contemporary red handle.

 

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Lot 2: An ornamental life ring with the words "Welcome Aboard" printed in it.  A quality item covered in canvas it measure approximately 25cm and so this would be inapropriate to use to save a life.

 

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Lot 3: A Teeny Weeny collectible little Marmite pot. Now this really will suit everyone because if you love Marmite you will adore this little 70g jar but if you hate Marmite you will love the fact that the jar is empty :) No use by date to worry about on this lot!

 

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Lot 4: Oooh this is a lovely thing, I have no idea what I should call it but it is some sort of old flask in a leather holster. I am sure someone on here will know what it is and what they were used for but it is certainly very old.  The leather holster would benefit from cleaning and feeding but is in good condition for it's age. Inside is a glass flask with what I believe to be a silver plated base and lid. I have a few photos of this for you - please do chip in and tell us about it if you have come across one before.

 

68706226_10157288532344070_5470191187090

 

 

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67892131_10157288532514070_1650522409633

 

 

Lot 5:  They say more than a handful is a waste, so what if it is more than a bladeful?  The one and only  heroic Tree Monkey pulled this lot from the weedhatch on Carrie~Lou during The BCN Challenge. This is the perfect lot for anyone who desperately wishes they owned a boat but doesn't have one (yet). Your opportunity to own your very own bladeful. This is guaranteed  to be a 100% authentic BCN Bladeful (not all bladeful's are the same you will understand). You could display this in a glass cabinet with pride. Careful analysis of it's composition leads me to believe it is primarily created by a 42DD brassiere of the George at Asda variety. It has been carefully woven together with a pair of tights (possibly American Tan shade) a bit of twig, remnants of a supermarkey carrier back with a soupçon of polyester wadding and a leaf.

 

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It was carefully dried out to be preserved just for this auction:

 

67799872_10157288532649070_4719535391714

 

Lot 6: A book "101 Things to do With a Retired Man" in excellent condition

 

67833268_10157288532584070_2440150983066

 

Lot 7: A Very Special Biro. This biro was used by Tim and Pru to sign their autographs in Python's visitor book. The original pen that was to be used was a cheap nasty biro so I reached into my handbag and handed over this pen that I had picked up from somewhere or the other.... it is a lovely metal pen which writes really nicely and it has the rubber tip so you can use it as a stylus on your iPad as well. I didn't know where I stole picked it up from but after they used it one of the other volunteers recognised itand it seems that Harold Lilleker and Sons are a local funeral directors. One of their team volunteers on Python occasionally and must have left his pen and I nabbed it :). I really hope that Tim and Pru had no idea that I had given them a pen from a funeral directors to use, but I suspect if they did it would cause as much hilarity as it did over a beer that evening in the pub garden. The volunteer who got the signatures has already placed a bid of £7 on this pen 

 

https://www.haroldlillekerandsons.co.uk/

 

67741558_10157288532104070_6719369634719

 

Lot 8: An absolutly beautiful set of studio pottery mugs with the names of the sountern navigations on them, Kennet & Avon, River Thames, Basingstoke, Rivers Lee & Stort, River Wey and The Grand Union. A delightful set in perfect condition and something that has got to be worth a decent bid on for anyone who's favourite boating haunts are in the south.

 

68297185_10157288611169070_8720661877387

 

Lot 9: A lifejacket. When we bought our boat we were told there was a life jacket in one of the lockers and that was no lie, we already have enough life jackets so we are selflessly offering this one for auction. I would suggest that anyone wishing to use it may want to have it properly tested before relying on it :)

67734294_10157288532864070_4065738105364

 

Perhaps it would be better placed in an aviation museum?

 

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Lot 10: A coach bolt. This is one of the coach bolts that Fred Dibnah used to build his workshop. It is mounted on a piece of floorboard from his house.  It has a certificate of authenticity with it too:

 

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Of you go then! Happy bidding!

 

 

 

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14 minutes ago, cheshire~rose said:

Lot 4: Oooh this is a lovely thing, I have no idea what I should call it but it is some sort of old flask in a leather holster. I am sure someone on here will know what it is and what they were used for but it is certainly very old.  The leather holster would benefit from cleaning and feeding but is in good condition for it's age. Inside is a glass flask with what I believe to be a silver plated base and lid. I have a few photos of this for you - please do chip in and tell us about it if you have come across one before.

 

68706226_10157288532344070_5470191187090

 

 

67938296_10157288532429070_1554732604433

 

67892131_10157288532514070_1650522409633

 

 

More pictures please, specifically of the base of the flask and both ends of the holster, and something to give scale.

 

Immediate reaction is it looks like a blackpowder priming flask for a flintlock pistol or rifle, used for the extra fine ground gunpowder to go in the priming pan. 

 

Being glass it could be quite rare indeed - they were not much used in glass except as showpieces, as a spark from the glass and metal is a bad thing ... 

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I would just like to clarify I am not part of the baleful lot, although depending on the stock of booze in said bidders cupboards I might reconsider 

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58 minutes ago, cheshire~rose said:

It was carefully dried out to be preserved just for this auction:

Yous cannot sell the Tree Monkey - I think Pud might object a little. 

 

14 minutes ago, tree monkey said:

I would just like to clarify I am not part of the baleful lot, although depending on the stock of booze in said bidders cupboards I might reconsider 

I don't have any booze in the cupboards but I do have several local distilleries and a good postal service if that helps.

 

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Can we see the blade full being modelled please? I want to know if it will make suitable banter wear

 

Richard 

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39 minutes ago, tree monkey said:

I would just like to clarify I am not part of the baleful lot, although depending on the stock of booze in said bidders cupboards I might reconsider 

No and you are not dessicated either

58 minutes ago, TheBiscuits said:

 

More pictures please, specifically of the base of the flask and both ends of the holster, and something to give scale.

 

Immediate reaction is it looks like a blackpowder priming flask for a flintlock pistol or rifle, used for the extra fine ground gunpowder to go in the priming pan. 

 

Being glass it could be quite rare indeed - they were not much used in glass except as showpieces, as a spark from the glass and metal is a bad thing ... 

Ooh Interesting, photos to follow tomorrow

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16 minutes ago, mrsmelly said:

Lot four I bid thirty quid.

And we're off with MrSmelly bid on lot number 4 - does he secretly know what this item is? If he does will he tell us? Who is currently in possession of the bladeful? Who will model the desiccated delight? Will Monkey pass the over shoulder boulder holder baton onto Richard? Will Mrs Tawny Owl be in for a shock? Tune in tomorrow folks for the next instalment of Aunty Wainwright's Open All Hours Auction.....

 

Rusty was so much better at this than me....

 

 

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I'd say send the pics for lot 4 to the curator at the Royal Armouries.  If it's of real value you can squeeze Tim for hundreds not tens ...

7 minutes ago, Tumshie said:

Rusty was so much better at this than me....

Yeah but he quit so you have to do it ...

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8 minutes ago, TheBiscuits said:

I'd say send the pics for lot 4 to the curator at the Royal Armouries.  If it's of real value you can squeeze Tim for hundreds not tens ...

Maybe thats why he put his bid in quick - hoping that nobody would pay attention after :P

 

8 minutes ago, TheBiscuits said:

Yeah but he quit so you have to do it ...

Bothersome Beagle that he is. Oh well I shall shoulder on as I must.... 

 

Edited by Tumshie
spelling
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No, No, No, No.

You're not having our damn duck.

Last winter you organized this farcical auction when we were going abroad during winter time .....forcing me to find a very nice proxy voter who bid on my behalf to secure said duck....again....for the second time.....and cause Mr Biscuits to spend a fortune on some random tosh. It was impossible to bid on something from Singapore when 8 hours ahead (I am usually well ahead of everyone here).

So this year we organize our annual trip to Singapore for mid summer .....as far away from the auction season as possible....and you start your bleeding auction which ends while we are still out there. No. You're  not having the duck. I am not doing a poxy vote again! You can have some mythical noodles that may or may not exist and may never arrive. Maybe a photo of them might be better. 

Our trip to the Far East was timed around your auction and now you change it. Time for a referendum methinks. Totally undemocratic. Wot a balls up!

 

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£1 for lot 1

Edited by Dr Bob
Being a muppet
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1 minute ago, Dr Bob said:

No, No, No, No.

You're not having our damn duck.

Did you see the falkirk wheel ducks I posted earlier - I saw them an I though you might like them; unfortunately I haven't worked out how to obtain one.

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I'm suddenly feeling inspired to get the damn noodles back from Wyvern and deliver them in person!

 

Last time I was on Kharis I kidnapped the duck and he had a great time ...

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Just now, TheBiscuits said:

I'm suddenly feeling inspired to get the damn noodles back from Wyvern and deliver them in person!

 

Last time I was on Kharis I kidnapped the duck and he had a great time ...

To be honest I'm not sure Dr bob could cope with that again 😬

 

 

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5 hours ago, cheshire~rose said:

 

It is possible to post any of the items to the winning bidder if required. Postage will be charged at cost price and the most economic method will be offered. If you are concerned about the cost of postage please ask for a quote before bidding.

 

Items can be collected from Chesterfield or Clayworth (near Retford). We can also take items to Alvecote for One Big Weekend for those who are going, or possibly to hand them to someone from your area who will be there

Any other delivery methods available?  I'm asking for a friend ...

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2 minutes ago, TheBiscuits said:

Any other delivery methods available?  I'm asking for a friend ...

Does it cost £5 more if it goes via Bristol?

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9 hours ago, Tumshie said:

And we're off with MrSmelly bid on lot number 4 - does he secretly know what this item is? If he does will he tell us? Who is currently in possession of the bladeful? Who will model the desiccated delight? Will Monkey pass the over shoulder boulder holder baton onto Richard? Will Mrs Tawny Owl be in for a shock? Tune in tomorrow folks for the next instalment of Aunty Wainwright's Open All Hours Auction.....

 

Rusty was so much better at this than me....

 

 

Does MrSmelly secretly know what it is or has The Biscuits just got all of us drawn into the cast of the screenplay he has in his mind? By suggesting lot 4 is actually a very rare item he knows thinks that Auntie Wainwright will be rubbing her hands in glee and racing off to an expert to get it valued while on the other side of the stage MrSmelly makes what is an apparently generous stand with what could be considered a killer opening bid.

 

I would also point out that all this interest in The Bladeful, none of you really have any understanding of modern art do you? It does not require modelling, it is a complete work of art. I suspect, if I asked nicely, Mrs Tawny Owl could potentially work out how the modifications made by Carrie~Lou's prop to the original structure of the over the shoulder, boulder holder may have effected the breaking strain of the item but, that is really irrelevant as it is the finished item that is the work of art and we should all hail our hero Monkey for the day he reached into the depths of the murky BCN waters to retrieve this fne item.

8 hours ago, Dr Bob said:

No, No, No, No.

You're not having our damn duck.

Last winter you organized this farcical auction when we were going abroad during winter time .....forcing me to find a very nice proxy voter who bid on my behalf to secure said duck....again....for the second time.....and cause Mr Biscuits to spend a fortune on some random tosh. It was impossible to bid on something from Singapore when 8 hours ahead (I am usually well ahead of everyone here).

So this year we organize our annual trip to Singapore for mid summer .....as far away from the auction season as possible....and you start your bleeding auction which ends while we are still out there. No. You're  not having the duck. I am not doing a poxy vote again! You can have some mythical noodles that may or may not exist and may never arrive. Maybe a photo of them might be better. 

Our trip to the Far East was timed around your auction and now you change it. Time for a referendum methinks. Totally undemocratic. Wot a balls up!

 

.

.

.

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£1 for lot 1

Look, if your duck is a dam duck then I think it could find some gainful employment over at Whaley Bridge, tell him to get his CV up to date and he could earn some good money while you are swanning off around the world.  £1 for lot no 1? Isn't that poor duck already mixed up enough?

 

I am sure your poxy friend would be willing to assist you with bidding if required

8 hours ago, TheBiscuits said:

Any other delivery methods available?  I'm asking for a friend ...

I am sure you will think of something you have not already covered 😂

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This morning's update on the current bidding:

 

Lot no 1 :  A Vintage Whisk - Current bid £1: Dr Bob

Lot no 2 :  A Decorative Life Ring - No bids yet

Lot no 3 :  An Empty Marmite Jar - No bids yet

Lot no 4 :   A mystery old flask - Current bid: £40 MrSmelly

Lot no 5 :   A Bladefull - No bids yet

Lot no 6 :   A Retired Man's Book - No bids yet

Lot no 7 :   A Pen used by Tim & Pru - Current bid £7 (non- forum user)

Lot no 8 :   A set of studio pottery canal mugs - No bids yet

Lot no 9 :   An airline type life jacket - no bids yet

Lot no 10 : A Fred Dibnah Coach screw

 

Please refer back to the photos in the opening post for details of the lots and feel free to ask questions before bidding if you wish

 

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32 minutes ago, cheshire~rose said:

This morning's update on the current bidding:

 

Lot no 1 :  A Vintage Whisk - Current bid £1: Dr Bob

Lot no 2 :  A Decorative Life Ring - No bids yet

Lot no 3 :  An Empty Marmite Jar - No bids yet

Lot no 4 :   A mystery old flask - Current bid: £40 MrSmelly

Lot no 5 :   A Bladefull - No bids yet

Lot no 6 :   A Retired Man's Book - No bids yet

Lot no 7 :   A Pen used by Tim & Pru - Current bid £7 (non- forum user)

Lot no 8 :   A set of studio pottery canal mugs - No bids yet

Lot no 9 :   An airline type life jacket - no bids yet

Lot no 10 : A Fred Dibnah Coach screw

 

Please refer back to the photos in the opening post for details of the lots and feel free to ask questions before bidding if you wish

 

Bloody hell!! Its all afix innitt!! The bloomin auction house is inflating the bids 😂

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1 minute ago, mrsmelly said:

Bloody hell!! Its all afix innitt!! The bloomin auction house is inflating the bids 😂

Whoops!

 

Amended:

 

This morning's update on the current bidding:

 

Lot no 1 :  A Vintage Whisk - Current bid £1: Dr Bob

Lot no 2 :  A Decorative Life Ring - No bids yet

Lot no 3 :  An Empty Marmite Jar - No bids yet

Lot no 4 :   A mystery old flask - Current bid: £30 MrSmelly

Lot no 5 :   A Bladefull - No bids yet

Lot no 6 :   A Retired Man's Book - No bids yet

Lot no 7 :   A Pen used by Tim & Pru - Current bid £7 (non- forum user)

Lot no 8 :   A set of studio pottery canal mugs - No bids yet

Lot no 9 :   An airline type life jacket - no bids yet

Lot no 10 : A Fred Dibnah Coach screw

 

Statutory notice: The value of your bids may go down as well as up :icecream:

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15 hours ago, Tumshie said:

Did you see the falkirk wheel ducks I posted earlier - I saw them an I though you might like them; unfortunately I haven't worked out how to obtain one.

Presumably they sell them at the Falkirk Wheel.  If so, I could get one, if you really want one ... Onward delivery might be a problem, although I'll be near your latitude next week.

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18 hours ago, Tumshie said:

Did you see the falkirk wheel ducks I posted earlier - I saw them an I though you might like them; unfortunately I haven't worked out how to obtain one.

 

2 hours ago, Iain_S said:

Presumably they sell them at the Falkirk Wheel.  If so, I could get one, if you really want one ... Onward delivery might be a problem, although I'll be near your latitude next week.

We got one at the Wheel when we were there last summer.

 

Donald can't understand him.

 

 

MacDuck.jpg

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2 hours ago, Iain_S said:

Presumably they sell them at the Falkirk Wheel.  If so, I could get one, if you really want one ... Onward delivery might be a problem, although I'll be near your latitude next week.

Thank you that is very kind, much as I like them I don't really need one but I appreciate the offer. 

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