Gas hob numptyness rating

[Dr Bob]

1 hour ago, philjw said:

Have you tried one of the other burners?  Is the result the same?

All other burners (2 of them) are the same.

39 minutes ago, cuthound said:

 

Ah, you need to hold it in for a bit longer, say 20 seconds after it has lit, and if that isn't long enough, keep increasing it by 10 seconds each time until it stays in after you have released the button.

But even after 20 or 30 seconds it still wont stay lit after I let go....unless I hold it via a cloth.

Mrs Bob hardly holds the knob for any time and I'm not happy with that.

[Jennifer McM]

3 minutes ago, Dr Bob said:

All other burners (2 of them) are the same.

 

 

Gas oven? I've to turn our gas oven knob to 'full' before releasing it after ignition, otherwise the flame goes out.

[twbm]

One more variable - the exact location of the Kettle. Is Mrs Bob positioning it to heat the flame cut out more efficiently?  

[magpie patrick]

It isn't a conscious difference in technique, so length of time etc aren't the issue

 

I don't know the answer but in this tale of mine lies how such riddles work. Years ago, when mobile phones were less well developed, I couldn't make a call on site in Dursley -  no signal. My female colleague had no trouble, so lent me her phone, but it still wouldn't work for me, yet my phone would work for her.

 

Then I stood on the kerb and increased my height by about 4 inches... she was taller than me and it made all the difference.

 

There is something about the cloth that replicates mrs Bob, but we don't know what...

[bizzard]

Pushing nob on China hob need China flag using by hand make glood stlong  frame in wun pop.  pushing tee trowel  on nob no glood noorty bad frame, go pop pop pop no frame lite.    Pushing China flag on nob give wun pop big good framing stlongly make vely eezy coffee,

[ditchcrawler]

8 hours ago, frahkn said:

When a reply involving capacitance, paths to earth and other technical erudition comes along - can it please explain the difference between Dr Bob and Mrs Bob in this area.

Dr Bob dosen't wear tights

[system 4-50]

Its all about capacitance. Most mature women's underwear has a greater capacity than most mature men's, so this is why women are better with the knob (hob knob) than men.

[bizzard]

There's also the matter of bodily spontaneous combustion, ignition of person caused by electrical sparky nylon underwear,  basically, passing wind whilst wearing this can set the person on fire, more usual with women especially vegitarians,

[Jennifer McM]

1 hour ago, bizzard said:

Pushing nob on China hob need China flag using by hand make glood stlong  frame in wun pop.  pushing tee trowel  on nob no glood noorty bad frame, go pop pop pop no frame lite.    Pushing China flag on nob give wun pop big good framing stlongly make vely eezy coffee,

I've heard about this prenomination where someone goes to sleep and wakes up speaking Chinese.... never thought I'd come across such a case    

[Tonka]

4 minutes ago, Jennifer McM said:

I've heard about this prenomination where someone goes to sleep and wakes up speaking Chinese.... never thought I'd come across such a case    

Chinese people do this every night

[WotEver]

I like hob knobs. 

[roland elsdon]

You are an earlier riser than her, and ( here is the real issue prefer instant coffee to real) 

 

as a non medical medical you should realise that means you have a stronger vital spark than her

A person with a strong vital spark is likely to conflict with those of a lesser spark. ( cant get my wife up in the morning) over gettin going in the days activity

 

clearly your  cooker igniter has a lower vital spark than you and conflicts. The lazy aressed thing sees its you, buries it head in the duvet and waits 

 

i suggest you spend a few thousand pounds on a lifecoach motivator for it.

 

all issues are caused by our inability to accept change and alternative therapy will invoke change.

i am back in 5 weeks and could assist. My fees are $75 an hour. I know where you are.

[Dr Bob]

2 hours ago, ditchcrawler said:

Dr Bob dosen't wear tights

I do have a kilt and scarlet sporran.

 

(That reminds me. I did promise a photo! ?)

 

25 minutes ago, roland elsdon said:

 

clearly your  cooker igniter has a lower vital spark than you and conflicts. The lazy aressed thing sees its you, buries it head in the duvet and waits 

 

No. I dont think it is about how big a spark it has, its more about once up, the flame is sustained at full size without collapsing. Keeping it up is the key.

Wot we need is someone really clever and can explain how the flame supressing thingy works. Its suppressing when i do it and sustaining when Mrs Bob does it except I can keep it up if I use a tea towel.

[Boater Sam]

Gas ignition is not an issue.  The spark ignites the gas OK.

 

The flame on the burner has to impinge on the thermocouple tip, which generates a small voltage. This voltage is sufficient to hold on the solenoid in the gas valve to keep the port open and allow full gas flow.

 

 But the solenoid has to be held all the way down by the action on the knob long enough for this voltage to be generated.

 

It is pressing the knob IN THE CORRECT POSITION that opens the gas valve initially and closes the solenoid mechanically.

The knob should be turned to the full flame position and held fully down for a few seconds to enable the thermocouple to heat, the solenoid will then hold the valve open when the knob is released maintaining gas flow. The control of the flame size can then be adjusted.

I suspect that you have turned the knob but not to the correct position. When you cover it with a cloth you cannot see the markings and you then hold it BY CHANCE in the correct position.

 

Body capacitance, luck, static and sex have nothing to do with it. Its dumb, it just works, it doesn't know why.

[roland elsdon]

Im not interested in the effect of a tea towel on keeping things up. What goes on between yourself and a tea towel is down to you. ( mind you i think here in victoria it is now legal to marry white goods, certainly many locals are married to their fridges)

 

i am shocked given your progressive attitude to some matters that you dismiss alternative therapies so readily. You ignore the offer of life coaching without consideration , moving immediately  to believing that there must be some archaic mechanical defect. This is so typical of the narrowthinkibgmoneygrabbinghouseowningbabybooming generation.

Accept the dominant paradym and embrace the future. I have arranged a friend who is a sound therapist to fengchung your boat. Because their tortoise has daylight sensitivity they can onlywork between 0200am and 0600am.

they will be around shortly to play mood sounds to your igniter. Expect sounds appropriate to rebirthing and explosions.

[Boater Sam]

24 minutes ago, roland elsdon said:

Im not interested in the effect of a tea towel on keeping things up. What goes on between yourself and a tea towel is down to you. ( mind you i think here in victoria it is now legal to marry white goods, certainly many locals are married to their fridges)

 

i am shocked given your progressive attitude to some matters that you dismiss alternative therapies so readily. You ignore the offer of life coaching without consideration , moving immediately  to believing that there must be some archaic mechanical defect. This is so typical of the narrowthinkibgmoneygrabbinghouseowningbabybooming generation.

Accept the dominant paradym and embrace the future. I have arranged a friend who is a sound therapist to fengchung your boat. Because their tortoise has daylight sensitivity they can onlywork between 0200am and 0600am.

they will be around shortly to play mood sounds to your igniter. Expect sounds appropriate to rebirthing and explosions.

Well, looks like the forum has claimed another one.

The rate of attrition of members is worrying.

Back to the home Roland, you will be happy there amongst friends. Remember your Teddy. 

[roland elsdon]

But they only let me out last year...

[Boater Sam]

Ah, so you are better now?

We are much better since the radiation, we had FISH last night, 2 Fish, Had to eat them by the afterglow 'cos the sun went down. But the ants kept talking all the time.

And Bob thinks he has a problem 'cos he can't light the gas? 

[1st ade]

As Magpie P says, SOMETHING must be different, you just haven't worked out what it is yet (my favourite was a computer which anyone could log into sat down; most people couldn't stood up...)

 

Cloth towel, electricity from thermouple; are you barefoot and leaking what little voltage there is to ground?

[Dr Bob]

3 hours ago, roland elsdon said:

Im not interested in the effect of a tea towel on keeping things up. What goes on between yourself and a tea towel is down to you. ( mind you i think here in victoria it is now legal to marry white goods, certainly many locals are married to their fridges)

 

i am shocked given your progressive attitude to some matters that you dismiss alternative therapies so readily. You ignore the offer of life coaching without consideration , moving immediately  to believing that there must be some archaic mechanical defect. This is so typical of the narrowthinkibgmoneygrabbinghouseowningbabybooming generation.

Accept the dominant paradym and embrace the future. I have arranged a friend who is a sound therapist to fengchung your boat. Because their tortoise has daylight sensitivity they can onlywork between 0200am and 0600am.

they will be around shortly to play mood sounds to your igniter. Expect sounds appropriate to rebirthing and explosions.

Oh no. You're not sending round another duck?

[Dr Bob]

3 hours ago, Boater Sam said:

Gas ignition is not an issue.  The spark ignites the gas OK.

 

The flame on the burner has to impinge on the thermocouple tip, which generates a small voltage. This voltage is sufficient to hold on the solenoid in the gas valve to keep the port open and allow full gas flow.

 

 But the solenoid has to be held all the way down by the action on the knob long enough for this voltage to be generated.

 

It is pressing the knob IN THE CORRECT POSITION that opens the gas valve initially and closes the solenoid mechanically.

The knob should be turned to the full flame position and held fully down for a few seconds to enable the thermocouple to heat, the solenoid will then hold the valve open when the knob is released maintaining gas flow. The control of the flame size can then be adjusted.

I suspect that you have turned the knob but not to the correct position. When you cover it with a cloth you cannot see the markings and you then hold it BY CHANCE in the correct position.

 

Body capacitance, luck, static and sex have nothing to do with it. Its dumb, it just works, it doesn't know why.

Now there's ya boy. Way to go! Sam is really clever!

So the thermocouple is generating electrckity to hold a solenoid open. When I do it 'naked' I can't be generating enough. Is that due to the capacitance difference between Mrs Bob and I or is it an earth problem?( i know, I know, it's -ve not earth but wotever).

It is not the position though. I try it in all positions but to no avail . Mrs Bob gets  it to work between 8 and 9 O'clock ( on the knob silly). I've tried it at all of those. It is defo not about the position of the knob. 

[Dr Bob]

12 minutes ago, 1st ade said:

As Magpie P says, SOMETHING must be different, you just haven't worked out what it is yet (my favourite was a computer which anyone could log into sat down; most people couldn't stood up...)

 

Cloth towel, electricity from thermouple; are you barefoot and leaking what little voltage there is to ground?

Mmmm?

Well I've always got socks on and most of the time do it my slippers ( I'm not whimp but the floor can be cool). Mrs Bob however does it either barefoot in the mornings or with socks on later in the day. 

[Arthur Marshall]

The problem has changed. The initial one was that it went click but didn't light. Now it lights but won't stay lit. 

The next stage is obvious. The burners will stay lit but the kettle will never boil. 

[roland elsdon]

3 hours ago, Boater Sam said:

Ah, so you are better now?

We are much better since the radiation, we had FISH last night, 2 Fish, Had to eat them by the afterglow 'cos the sun went down. But the ants kept talking all the time.

And Bob thinks he has a problem 'cos he can't light the gas? 

Did i meet you professionaly at some point. Your delusions  sound familiar.

ants could be bobs problem there was an outbreak of flame ants  near calcutt last year. Of course flame ants suck the fireons out of the atmosphere.

[Boater Sam]

What delusions?

Its Bob that is deluded, he can't see the blue flame, is he colour blind? Its a Quantum Field problem caused by the Higgs Boson field which is throughout the universe. Either that or he needs an exorcist.

Roland and I rule OK? For god's sake don't argue with us.