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wandering

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Everything posted by wandering

  1. Carried away with what? I’m just stating the truth of what happens. Perhaps you dislike it because it reveals something about yourself and your kind but to characterise what I am saying as though I am getting carried away with myself is disingenuous. I’m perfectly calm and reasonable. Next time, say what you mean clearly to avoid misinterpretation. I agree that your comment is laced with hostility and now you’re back tracking and saying I am getting carried away with myself. I see what you’re doing. Get a grip. You’ve revealed yourself to me. You’re not the arbiter of other people’s enlightenment either. Don’t act so bold.
  2. It’s worth pointing out that not even 60 years ago—in my parents’ lifetime, in my lesbian aunts’ lifetime, maybe even in some of your lifetimes—heterosexuals put laws in place that would make me illegal. I could be punished, beaten and imprisoned. That isn’t ancient history. This still happens in some parts of the world. The reverberation of this regressive practice is still felt by people like me. It was your heterosexual police force who would entrap us like we were wild savages, they would raid our gathering spots, unable to leave us alone, veritably foaming at the mouth to oppress and subjugate. They would pretend to be like us so they could hurt us. Alan Turing helped Britain to win the Second World War and his reward from the heterosexual majority was castration. Truly and utterly shameful. It was this society where even popular homosexuals feared being themselves. Kenneth Williams, who the British public adored for his role in the Carry On films and Just a Minute, could never feel truly comfortable with himself because of the society he was born in, despite the deep public adoration for him and his talent. I posit his profound self-loathing was created by a society that hated who he really was and loved his created persona on stage and film. When we are told to just integrate, I dare say why don’t you lot make a society that is welcoming and caring for people like me so that this so-called integration is possible? Why is it incumbent upon me to do that? You create laws to criminalise me, you castrate me, you threaten and hurt me. What are you doing to help me integrate? Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.
  3. The dominant group will always feel victimised by minorities doing things that don’t include them. Being pro gay isn’t anti straight. Just like being pro Black isn’t anti white. They feel left out. I call this a taste of their own medicine. A group of gays is seen as a slight to them in some way hence the need to say “why can’t you just do what the rest of us do” (aka conform and submit). We aren’t the rest of you. It is types like this who make us make a point of our differences. I recall once someone saying to me, as though I should take it as a compliment that “you’re not really super gay” as though being gay were a bad thing. I’d be happy never to mention who I sleep with or what I do behind closed doors ever again. I agree, I don’t think we are special. I have heterosexual friends and mix with them and never does who we sleep with come up in discussion (probably how many heterosexuals prefer it). But they understand and empathise with why I need to find others who are gay. Because guess what? Most people aren’t. I could misinterpret a situation with a man and end up in hospital or worse, dead. Attacks on gays are on the rise. I don’t attend Pride or get involved in the politics of the LGBT. But I don’t, continually, proclaim my lack of understanding of such things as though it contributes any value to the discussion which is being done in this very thread. Calls of “I don’t understand X, Y or Z” just highlights your ignorance. It is 2023. You have all the information at your finger tips. How about we drop the “I don’t understand why they congregate” façade and say what you really mean? Gays want to meet other gays and have sex, surprise surprise. Clutch your pearls elsewhere. It’s so bloody tiring. I hope OP does find other boat folk who are gay and gets a chance to connect with them. I know I’ve thought about it on my travels as a solo gay vagabond boater. Seeing a rainbow flag sticker in a boat window makes me relaxed because it signals to me they’re my sort. I know this may be novel to other people who dONt UnDeRstANd but it’s small gestures and signs like this that make me feel comfortable in a world that wants to shut me up, hide me away or, worse, blend in.
  4. He is trying to do 'his own thing' by finding others like him? Why is "doing your own thing" basically code for "be just like the rest of us"? The subtle intolerance of Brits never ceases to impress me. The veneer of friendliness falls away with barely as much as a bump. You can't understand because presumably you're not gay. That's OK. Gay people look for other gays because we're a minority and not everything has to be understood by you (frankly, I find a lot of heterosexual behaviour downright bizarre and will never understand it myself but each to their own) and that's also OK. No help mixing with 'all walks of life' if none of them want to have a relationship with you. Seeking out other gay men increases the likelihood of that happening. Why do you think gay bars and the like exist? The man is asking if there are other gays around the north, not segregating himself like some homosexual shut in.
  5. Yeah think that might have been it in hindsight 😅
  6. When I have opened the weed hatch in the past, a flood of water has come in which I’ve got rid of with the pump. I assumed this behaviour was typical of an opening so close to the water but I still don’t know for certain this was the cause anyway. Maybe in between checking and setting off, which must have been ten minutes, something happened/developed en route.
  7. Aye, I'm eagerly awaiting the surveyor report. You're right that it had been fine and I had nearly completed a full return journey from Leicester to Lincoln until it sank on the journey home, as if by random. Until I get the report back and have a proper inspection, it's all speculation that is was the weed hatch that failed.
  8. I hope so! I think the shock I'm feeling is just seeing the inside look like that as I normally keep it very clean and tidy. I wasn't expecting things to be so muddy. Wet, yes, but the mud adds a new dimension to the shock plus I think there's a film of oil over everything too...
  9. Is this something a competent engineer could do for me? I don't want to mess up anything but since I'm not super au fait with engines (except the usual popping in oil and coolant). It sounds pretty straightforward but reading a map is pretty simple and I still end up very lost... No I had turned it off way before then and shoved a cloth in the exhaust outlet.
  10. Thought I'd share some pics here of the boat after being refloated: 1. https://ibb.co/vJq4rqj 2. https://ibb.co/bX2Y8SS 3. https://ibb.co/yqw9LVg 4. https://ibb.co/b6TrcVQ 5. https://ibb.co/7yTcWzL 6. https://ibb.co/QKqp4yz I suppose from seeing it, understanding my own limitations re: handy work and not really knowing how big the job in front of me is. I just assumed getting it all out and starting a fresh might be the easier thing to do, especially if I can give a labourer a "fresh canvas". But I don't know much! This is my first time dealing with something like this.
  11. Ohh, OK! That is a good piece of advice. Didn't know that. I was told they will take it out and it can be on hard standing for a while but if she floats then you make a good point about it the ladders. I assume they imagined she needed to be on hard standing in case there was a hull issue (which I don't believe there is. She was only surveyed 7 months ago and I was told she is in very good nick for her age. I wonder if the marina will allow me to work on her from the water rather than hard standing...
  12. Judging from what I had seen everything looked the same as it was before it sank except this time water wasn’t pouring in from the weed hatch. Granted there was some water damage to the floorboards (which now have holes in), walls and other things (like the fridge, the fuse box looked like it had sort of exploded). Engine was all mucky and oily. Anyone know what a newer engine might cost or getting a second hand one in a decent condition? May be worth replacing my old BMC for something newer? On Monday they’ll take the boat fully out of the water and pop it on hard standing. I’ll reach out to their team once the insurer have got back to me to prioritise the engine. I’ve already asked the businesses based around Redhill if there are any fitters around so I can fish for quotes re fixing it out and some kind strangers (including painter and decorator and a carpenter) have offered their expertise and help too. I can do the messy work of gutting it as it’ll be on hard standing for a month before I have to start paying the Marina for the pleasure. So any labourers will have a blank canvas to work on. I’m glad she is only 39ft as that makes things a bit better from a cost perspective. I’ll keep all you updated on how things progress.
  13. My boat appears to be floating again but the insides are a big, dirty mess. Craftinsure said it's likely to be written off but they're awaiting the surveyor report. They also said I can make an offer to buy the boat back before they sell it as scrap. Hope if I can buy it back I can gut it myself and have enough money to pay someone to make it livable again...
  14. can I come over for tea, love risotto and egg fried rice
  15. I am with craftinsure and I paid £209.23. I'm in the process of my first ever claim so will tell you soon whether it's worth it or not.
  16. Aye, the insinuation that swearing is the reserve of the uneducated or proof of a limited vocabulary is a kind of snobbery I can’t abide !
  17. Maybe we move in different circles lol
  18. Agreed! I've had some trouble with boatyards in the past, with them fleecing me as a newbie, so if there is another one out there up to these awful shenanigans, I would want to know!
  19. Do you mean how am I posting literally or emotionally? I had an old laptop stored at my parent's house (where I've taken refuge on their sofa) and my phone was in my pocket when I abandoned the boat. Newer laptop and iPad still on the boat (and probably very dead by now). As for emotionally, the forum is a nice distraction.
  20. Yeah, I don't advocate using these words, they're not very nice imo but in Scotland people use the c word far and wide with ease.
  21. My hatch has a bar with two holes at each side to screw it down tightly. I'd previously opened and closed it before without any issue or leaks. I think the one starboard side came loose owing to the vibrations of the boat (just an assumption) ! It was fine when I checked it before setting off and then it suddenly wasn't fine. Not sure when happened... I didn't get the best look either as the engine bay was filling with water quite quickly. I'm praying they do! I'll definitely deny all responsibility. Thursday's gonna be an intense morning...
  22. The C word is a term of endearment where I'm from... 😂
  23. https://youtube.com/clip/UgkxvDJg8lM9TZ2bpVhcthKGrWGpTxiE06Dx?si=3TdAyr_Gkr-FcVAd
  24. Christ if I end up with nothing I’ll truly be lost. Let’s hope they can help me.
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