Right just to clarify, i was trying not to put my life story on here but seems it might just be easier. Caught the wife with another fella at work been going on a year im now going to loose the house i owned for 15 years before i met her, dont want to rent and am sick of working as much as i do so want to work less see kids more on my time at the moment living in house its awquard she has the kids days i work i have them when see works while we build up some funds, i cant do weekends because of the kids i cant do over night because of the kids, i also cant let her know my plans because any problem she can cause she has so far. so just to clarify im not trying to be aquard and not search google, or not travel or not do the 2 day course which i would gladly do. im just stuck and want to come out of this with a year off resetting and trying to rebuild. Im sorry, thank you for help it is apppreciated.