"Have you always lived in that little cabin?"
"Oh yes, in fact I was born in that stove"
Cocking his ear to listen to the beat of my Lister HA2........
"Gardener?"
"No ... Personnel Manager."
"Now there's no coal, how do you make a living?"
"Nuclear waste, they don't like it being moved by road or train you see"
From a fisherman
"Haven't you got anything better to do with your spare time?"
"Let's see ... you've lugged that heavy case & rods a mile up the muddy towpath, you can't go to the toilet and the temperature is just above freezing. I've got a stove at my feet, I can smell my dinner cooking and I've a bottle of single malt on the roof here. What do you think?"
Lockside
"Your dog nearly had me then!"
"Tell me where you live and I'll let him come round and stick his head through your window"
"Is it true you start the engine by running around the flywheel?
"No I get my hamster to do that"
"Are there many of you gypsies left?"
"Buy some lucky heather and I'll tell you"