The Gravy Boater

This. I'd never refuse to tow someone in genuine need provided it wasn't into that London. Glad the OP is sorted now.

This is also relevant to my interests. Bookmarked.

Ample opportunity there to become a canal "personality".

Hmm... looks more like an African rug.

Yes that is proper dazzle. It is supposed to break up the silhoette of the ship so you want jaunty dark LINES against white that disrupt the apparent height and length. The navy has repainted some of its smaller ships with these schemes as a wheeze but they should all have it... because why not... it's not like the paint will cost more. If they need masking tape I have some spare...

I've been furiously scraping all the Roses & Castles off my boat... d'oh!

This is an often overlooked necessity... the last thing you want is another boat getting a firing solution on you...

Fun anecdote... when I first moved my boat across country I was showing another boater my engine bay and he pointed out I had one engine mounting bolt sat on the baseplate and another one that had half worked itself loose. I said... "Ah, that'll be the source of that rattle then...". Suffice to say I regularly check all the engine mountings now!

I couldn't tell you what the part number is but here's a picture of the ones fitted to mine. If you are aware of what they look like maybe you will work it out from that. Thanks for the headsup regarding the feet. 👍

While I'm sure you are a paragon of accurate boating at least 50% of people who have ever bumped into me had a Captain's cap on. I usually bite my tongue but I did once say... "Captain's privilages revoked... hand it over."

Amongst other things I taught adults entry level maths for many years... you'd be amazed how quickly you can teach basic maths through the medium of cash.

Welcome to the forum. The only experience of boating I had when I started was childhood holidays and it was also at the start of lockdown, so no courses were available even if you wanted one. As has been mentioned handling a boat is the easy bit but if you lack confidence your best bet is just to set yourself a cruising goal and get out there... for, reasons, I had to move my boat half way across the country with zero experience... no-one died, only had one significant bump and it wasn't into another boat (might have been less damaging if it had been). Solo boating is easy... 9 times out of 10 other boaters will help you when needed but it's always polite not to assume this will be the case. That said, if you have the time and money to do courses there is certainly no harm in it. I may well have bad habits that have never been questioned. 57' is probably the most typical narrowboat length. If you don't need the space a shorter boat can be handy for turning where other boats cannot. Mooring and your licence are also charged by the foot, of course. Maybe I'm weird but winter is actually the best bit as far as I'm concerned.

Stock picture, but well spotted. Maybe body language is more important than it APPEARS 😜

Forums are an impersonal and blunt tool that have limited application. Text is adequate for conveying instructions but you're not going to get people playing nice over a period of time with text because they have no relationship. You could add add a discord for those who want to use it... that would probably improve relations enormously.

Had to look up your text-speak, but okay As a student of medieval arms and armour I can see the advantage of having a variety of polearms onboard.

It is quaint how FB is a thing in the narrowboating community. Just do not touch it with a barge pole... and you have no excuses, for we all have one.

Not my experience but there is a difference between moderation and organisation. The one is reactive, the other proactive.

I think maybe the way to judge this forum is to look at the instances where a boater is in genuine immediate need or even in peril and how those with experience here then rally around and would trip over each other to help. The petty bickering between certain characters is just amusing after you have been here for a while. I understand how that might be intimidating for new folks, though.

I'll just leave this here... the Internet sucks.

Riiiight....

There hasn't been a single successful prosecution using a "detector van" as far as I am aware... willing to be educated.

The detector vans were... famously... always a myth. But then you already knew that.