noddyboater

Years ago there was a boat for sale in a yard I moored at. Someone had a pre-purchase survey done which highlighted steel of varying thickness in the hull sides towards the bow, and the baseplate needing welding on the seams underneath. The bow really did look like it had been put together out of whatever was lying around in the yard. The strange thing was it was built by one of the most sought after companies of that time, who were proud of their steelwork and build quality.

Don’t forget that “Dory” was bought at the same time as Acacia, I believe the big Gardner came in handy for towing it back to Norbury. Maybe the inflated price is to cover the cost of planned work on Dory.

It’s more complicated in this case I think. The land was gifted to our parish council from Bassetlaw with the condition that part of it must be sold for housing. The housing must fit in with the “Parish Plan”, which allowed up to 32 new dwellings including affordable. The developer involved knew this from the start but still presented totally unsuitable plans. I suppose there’s more money to be made in building and selling expensive properties than budget. Incidentally, the remaining canalside pasture land has been left to the community to do with, within reason, what we like. A meeting was arranged in the local to throw a few ideas around but only me and my better half turned up! You’d think people who have lived for years overlooking the land would have an interest in it’s future but sadly not. Of course the same people are now moaning about things that are happening..

Unfortunately some developers appear to have a different view on affordable housing to the rest of us. A large canalside plot was recently for sale near us with the proviso that at least some of the 32 homes to be built were affordable, to first time buyers. A developer stepped up and presented their plans which was a small estate of 400k+ detached houses. Maybe they didn’t realise this is North Notts not Cheshire.

I’d agree that narrowboats are definitely more at home on canals than rivers, but some are more capable than others. I wouldn’t for instance take one on the tidal Trent that couldn’t at least hold it’s own against a changing tide, but many people do and think nothing of it. A relief keeper at Stockwith once told me I couldn’t lock out as I would run out of incoming tide well before Torksey. That’s fine I said, it will just take me a bit longer. He reluctantly agreed I could go but insisted I rang him on entering Torksey cut as he still doubted it was possible! The other craft that of course don’t look “right” on rivers are wide narrowboats or whatever you want to call them. But they don’t look right anywhere.

Not so! The rudest, most obnoxious plonker I’ve ever had the pleasure to meet was on the Torksey landing in his little narrowboat. I’ll never forget the name, it was 3 letters.. One was I, another N and the last A. I do hope it’s sunk somewhere now.

I think they’d look much sexier cruising into the sunset across the open sea than tied up to the wall at Hazleford lock. And don’t worry, if you keep boating on the Trent it won’t be long before you meet an unfriendly boater!

It’s a shame to tar everyone with the same brush but unfortunately that’s what happens. Much as when I see a car speeding through our village it’s always some twonk in a big noisy white Audi/BMW/Merc. I’ve always found people on sports cruisers to be friendly once you engage with them, some are less arrogant than fellow n.boat owners! I must admit I’ve never understood why there are so many that are kept so far inland though, it must get frustrating dawdling around with 400hp on tap on the upper Trent. How many actually get used at sea? It’s a bit like the owners of huge 4x4’s that never see a dirty puddle.

I don’t think Malcolm has any plans to hang up his windlass yet but they are certainly going to be putting some of boats up for sale soon. I think Jaguar, Stafford, Greyhound and Sunny Valley are staying but there are some other interesting projects on the list to go, including Antarctic.

I first met Bob when I was moored in Sheffield Basin, he’d ventured up on Governor for a short visit. This turned into an extended stay as his elderly cat went AWOL one night. I once convinced it was gone for good with a main dual carriageway, empty buildings, the river Don etc all close by. Bob however knew better and sure enough the cat returned days later none the worse for it’s adventure. I gave Bob a hand down the locks when he left, I thought my boat didn’t hang around on deep water but Governor was something else!

It was the Bolinder shaped lumps in the undergrowth I meant, not boats.

Who knows now that Mr Burge has decided to thin the Josher fleet out. Maybe one or two of the bramble covered lumps in his garden will be up for grabs next. But I doubt it.

Isn’t this boat still owned by Bob May who kept “Governor” in immaculate condition? I heard his health wasn’t so good now which could be why it’s been neglected. I wouldn’t worry too much about the hull, our Fuller is 3 years older and after a blast and 2 pack in 2001 still looks like new. The steel did seem to be better quality at that period.

Mmmm.. tempting isn’t it? 500 quid for a knackered injector..

If I was on the lookout for a tuggy type boat it would have to be this. Proper hull, proper engine and not a bad price.

Not a lot going on under the water is there. Quite slab sided.

It was just out of flood last night at Sawley but I would think it’s in now.

The new management appear to be aiming for the caravan site people rather than boaters. We had last Christmas Eve there which was very pleasant, unfortunately New Year’s Eve was not. A karaoke was going in the room on the left which seemed to be run for kids, it was fantastic as you can imagine. Quite a few of the old regulars were braving it in the bar but it was noisy. We bailed out well before midnight and left the sweet little darlings singing away..

I’ve never classed the Swan at Fradley as one to avoid, even after the takeover, but noticed this weekend that the menu “Specials board” above the fire in the bar has been replaced by a flat screen tv. Thankfully it was off but it could be a sign of things to come.

I had a good look at Trent 5 when she was on the market last autumn. The hold covers are left open at gunnel height for ventilation and to allow some natural light into the “hold”, which is actually still the original tanks. It also of course allows rain, rubbish and rats access too, but it’s kept in very tidy order down there by the owner. He occasionally does a coal run when the hatch covers can be lifted and moved around like blue tops. She’s had an interesting history, built for relatively short runs which didn’t involve any locks which could be why the bows are in such good shape. Also spent time carrying passengers on the Erewash in the front tank compartment, after a good clean out you’d hope! It’s originality is unfortunately the sticking point, the baseplate is thin which the owner openly admits. He had a section replaced where it holed riding over an obstruction on the BCN, but didn’t feel the need for a full bottom. It also has never had a hull survey, although it has been docked since my viewing so that could have changed. A lovely boat kept in great condition by her owner, it’s certainly his pride and joy. I got the impression he didn’t mind looking after her for a bit more boating time til she sells!

There’s some livaboard boaters I know of who are white people with dreads. They’ve got the scruffy boats, scabby V.W.’s, all very cool. The last time I passed them I gave the usual friendly nod, said hello as you do, and got completely ignored. A couple of days later on my return I slipped on my very impressive rasta wig and hey presto, I was now cool enough to be acknowledged by previously deaf and dumb boaters! Tossers.

All the canalside pubs I can think of are dog friendly, unfortunately the Blue Bell at Gringley wasn’t last time we had a walk up there. If you don’t mind a little walk from your mooring you’ll be fine for pubs. You’ll probably get to Drakeholes the first night, there’s a couple of pubs at Everton down the road behind the closed “Swan”. The Brewers at Clayworth is a short stroll from the visitor mooring and does good, proper food. Have a back up plan if you intend stopping at the Boat at Hayton, there’s only room for one boat on the mooring and it’s often occupied by a dosser. (It’s 48hr, the boat on it now has been there over 2 weeks) They also close early if they’re short of customers, like the Gate at Clarborough. Walk up the road though and there’s the Kings Arms and a late opening Spar, handily in the pub car park.

I’d go early rather than late. If we have one of those odd summers where the sun shows itself the weed can hang on into autumn. We always find our quickest progress on the Chessy is when there’s an inch or two of ice! Not wanting to put you off in your choice, but if you’re social boaters that like a friendly pub mooring rather than being out in the sticks I’d study a current map. There’s still pubs open, but not ideally placed for a normal days boating, especially if you want to do different stops on the way back. We often go from Retford to Cinder Hill Lock above shireoakes in a long day. A short walk down the path from there is The Hewitt Arms, the best proper pub on the canal. Not a lot between there and Retford though, unless you fancy a night in Worksop or a noisy stop by the A1 at the Chequers. The same applies above Shireoakes, gorgeous days boating up the locks but crap pub and not very inspiring mooring when you get there. But as I said, not a problem at all if you like a quiet spot for the night with a view, there’s plenty of those along it’s length from Stockwith to Kiveton.

Not a narrowboat but certainly historic, “Jumbo” a boat I’ve admired for years. Described as a 1923 gentleman’s yacht, she’s moored on the 5 mile pound above Beeston lock on the Trent. What really interested me though was the engine. 1944 Coventry Diesel, 4 cylinder, 2 stroke supercharged! Luckily it comes with a spare engine.

I had someone ask me if I had good insurance once as I passed his boat in the (very thin) ice! I told him politely that I had because my hull is in good condition. Didn’t stop him moaning. I’d like to make an offer to any worried forum members. If you have to get your boat somewhere and don’t feel happy about breaking the ice I’ll happily clear a way for you with mine. Of course there would have to be a charge to cover my time, shall we say £50 an hour? Think of all the money you’ll save on blacking.. Midland area only please, PM’s welcome.