Hi there,
The rule of thumb for me is to apply each coat with as much care and attention as the finished gloss, by that I mean with little or no brush/roller marks. This is best achieved on a mild day with very little if any breeze or better still in a wet/dry dock.
The better the paint is applied the less flatting back will be needed so the grit rating partly depends on how well it was put on in the first place..
Generally.
240grit for primers and undercoats
500grit for glosses
800 to 1000grit before the final top coat.
If undercoat or primer has been applied and a second coat is required, providing no more than 24 hours have lapsed then you can avoid flatting back this coat. The original coat will slightly soften and bond to the second coat.
I wish this also applied to glosses but unfortunately it does not. In fact over many years I have realised that a newly flatted gloss is better left for 24 hours before another coat is applied.... Flatting back removes the top harder surface on new paint thus leaving a softer paint underneath that can occasionally react with the new coat, especially if it is a horizontal surface and the paint is being applied thickly.
Clear as mud?
Sorry.