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davidc

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Everything posted by davidc

  1. depending on work commitments I'll be going with Daniel my son so how are the mooring prospects
  2. It all began with an iPhone... March was when our son celebrated his 17th birthday, and we got him an iPhone. He just loved it. Who wouldn't? I celebrated my birthday in July, and my wife made me very happy when she bought me an iPad. Our daughter's birthday was in August so we got her an iPod Touch. My wife celebrated her birthday in September so I got her an iRon. It was around then that the fight started.. What my wife failed to recognize is that the iRon can be integrated into the home network with the iWash, iCook and iClean. This inevitably activates the iNag reminder service. I should be out of the hospital next week!! iHurt
  3. That's why the tunnel has only been used twice for the transfer of water that was 1983 and 1989.
  4. You would not need a canal from Kielder to the Tees as there is already a 21 mile water tunnel in operation.
  5. If this does not bring a smile to your face see my post 15
  6. quote If you don't have humour, then you may as well nail the coffin lid down now. Roger Moore unquote coat
  7. just signed Doing nothing means nothing changes If its inaccurate the more attention more the truth will come out that the same in any situation Remember we have a government because for many reasons over halve the population could not be bothered to vote or raise there voice
  8. You can catch Zander and eat it as well, it is classed as an invasive species and once caught can not be placed back in to the canal or rivers. In fact it tastes quite nice http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zander http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/earthnews/8478068/Dirty-Dozen-invasive-species-named.html
  9. A small item just to bring a smile to you faces Not to be taken too serious I'm sure in our youth we readed question to hastely in our exams, and answered them just as bad . The following questions were set in last year's GED examination. These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds) Q. Name the four seasons A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election Q. How is dew formed A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire Q. What causes the tides in the oceans A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight Q. What are steroids A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs (Shoot yourself now, there is little hope) Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes A. Premature death (It stands to reason) Q. What is artificial insemination A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow (THAT I would like to witness) Q. How can you delay milk turning sour A. Keep it in the cow (Simple, but brilliant) Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen) A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I,O,U.. (wtf!) Q. What is the fibula? A. A small lie Q. What is the most common form of birth control A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium (That would work) Q. What is a seizure? A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit) Q. What is a terminal illness A. When you are sick at the airport. (Irrefutable) Q. What does the word 'benign' mean? A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight (brilliant)
  10. Actually talks with the PIRA started on and off in secret from the mid 70's But the good Friday agreement start in 1996 under Major and finally came together in 1998 so the only thing to thank Blair for is he did not interfere and took the credit when it was formally signed. The person who did all the hard work and brought it formally into a signed agreement was Mo Mowlam .
  11. I hate saying it but Blair is right in one principle Just bombing ISIS will not eradicate them there has to be boots on the ground but not Westerners, There needs to be an Arab coalition running there own solders on the ground , implicating there own plan and way of Life any thing different and we will be in a worse position, we as the West can't impose our democracy or views in the middle east . Just look at the last 70 years, we have caused this problem .
  12. Man and a woman have a chance meet in a park and decide to meet up that night for a meal. Going so well after the meal they go for a drive in his car to a romantic cliff top. Not a cloud in the night sky all stars are shining bright they both jump inthe back seat. whilst having fun the woman stops and says "I'm really sorry about this and should have told you earlier but I do this for a living and if you want to go all the way it will cost you £50". "WHAT!, you’re telling me this now when I'm all up for it knowing that of course I'll pay you" The man pays and to be fair had a fantastic time. Afterwards they both get in the front seats and just sit there, hearing crickets in the background the woman said "shall we get a move on then" The man said "I'm really sorry I should have told you earlier, I'm actually a cabbie it's going to cost you £55 to get home".
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