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Confidential team “Barnier's Stern Gland” Captains Log: Sunday, May 3rd, 1918 Mission Statement : Our 6 day mission is to travel the length and breadth of the BCN amassing the most points ever gathered by a single boat and to go through some locks. We have the greatest bote in the world and we will be victorious. 5 Tests: To achieve our mission, we have established 5 tests to ensure we keep on track. We have an average points per hour count to collect and we have to keep our crew safe and well. The plans are in place to generate the points but the weather has turned colder and most of the crew are in their summer uniforms. Mrs Bob is therefore having to knit socks for all the crew to provide them with the appropriate protection. We are very confident Mrs Bob will have knitted the socks by Friday 8th May. Our 5 tests are therefore as follows:- Test 1. This is the POOP score. Persistent Objective Operative Points, or the average navigation points needed per hour to win the challenge. Here we estimate we need an average of at least 9.31 POOP/hr. This will be monitored hourly each day. Hail, rain, or tempests, no matter what's the weather each team member is required 'give their all' Test 2. Provision of the correct PPE is essential. We need to provide socks for the crew at the rate of 3 pairs per day. 10,000 stitches per sock are needed so that is an average of around 10,000 stitches per hour. The Gov We are throwing all we have to ensure our PPE requirement will be met, whether it be essential dye from avocados, or having the correct wool such as lamb or alpacas. By the end of this challenge all crew members will have warm cosy toes. This metric will be keenly watched. Test 3. Keeping the crew fully motivated is key in our objectives so we need to ensure our Crew Reliability and Performance measure is recorded (CRAP) and is maintained above 91.4%. This metric will be monitored daily. Plenty of provisions will be provided, whether it be flour for breadmaking purposes, or eggs for breakfast. Liquid provisions will also be provided on a desperate need only basis. Stocks of Vitamin D will be held at the appropriate level. Test 4. There is no test 4. Test 5. By adhering to the tests above we can ensure that we beat the previous record in the Challenge by 19.5%. Remember, there are no 'Ifs' or 'Buts' within team Barnier's Stern Glands. This test again will be monitored daily. Overview: Clarrie is currently moored at Fazeley Junction to the north west of Birmingham at space and time coordinates 102982.4590.03051819. All the crew are on board and fully ready for the challenge. New uniforms have been issued to all of the crew and they look resplendent in their dark navy attire with gold edging that matches exactly with the exterior hull colour apart from their socks. Captain Smelly is standing at the helm, proudly showing the hat that comes with the rank, sporting a rather nice peak with gold leaf. We held our first COBRA meeting this afternoon.(Cabin Operations for Barnier's-Stern-Glands Review and Actions). Navigation Status: We have chosen to travel back to 1918 as that is the optimum time to generate maximum navigation points. There has been a major discussion between the senior crew as to whether this is safe. It was suggested that travelling back in time could be a risk, as we could take the virus back with us and that could then kill our grandparents. This would mean we would never be born. I think that would be bad. However, the counter argument is that if we were not born, how could we go back in time therefore not taking the virus back in the first place. This time paradox needs a bit more thought. However, the decision on 1918 has been taken. We are currently moored outside the junior school just south of Fazeley junction on May 3rd, 1918. The weather has turned colder and the rain started as Captain Smelly joined the bote. Bote Status: Peterboat reports all systems working fully. Extra solar panels have been added given the bote turned out longer than we all thought. “This is a great, great bote, it really is very great” said Peterbote. Crew Status: We have 13 crew on board and 11 12 dogs. Captain Smelly is on the helm. @roland elsdon and @Alan de Enfield are pouring over the charts and 3 macBooks in the saloon. We are using advanced Neural Net modelling software to predict scoring scenarios and have arrived at 4 options from this location that give us within 10 navigation points difference in the final score. All 4 options have a back up which will reduce the score by no more than 3.67% in the event the organisers throw some spanners in. The only vulnerability that the models are throwing up are if a certain spanner was thrown in on Wednesday morning (and only Wednesday morning) – which could affect all 4 options. We think the chance of this happening is slight given the inside information we are receiving each day from our mole in the organising team, and frankly they are not clever enough to see where we will be on Wednesday anyway. We have one communication person shuttling information through the teams. We have one person (Peterbote) managing the technology. We have 4 lock handlers. We do not need a shift pattern as we are only doing 7 hour days. We have Dr Sue flying the DJI Mavic 2 drone. This is to spot and identify our competitors and provide us with advance warning to plan our countermeasures. The drone will be flying for 55 minutes each hour we are navigating. The four remaining crew are therefore the SWAT team set up to intercept other botes and create sufficient mayhem to slow them down. Peterbote is making great progress understanding the Automat Sehnsucht. He has now worked out how to make a 5 minute adjustment so that we can go back 5 mins in time but only a maximum of two times per day. This gives us a massive advantage if we reach a lock at the same time as one of our competitors, going in either direction. This gives plenty of time to deploy the SWAT team. Peterbote is also on the point of perfecting our weapons systems. The first is the dog treat projectile delivery system being installed on the drone. As it flies over a competitors boat, it shoots dog treats onto said boat and then we release the 11 12 dogs. It really is mayhem. As the canal is not that deep, we anticipate fatalities will not be too high. I do not have a clue what is happening with the dogs though. They are all over the place. I pick up a packet of twiglets and there's 5 6 mouths slobbering all over me. Positive Indicators: No POOP ratings collected so far Knitting on target with an average of 11,126 stitches per hour made today Our CRAP rating is currently at 100%. Test 4 not met Final score estimated at 19.5% ahead of target. All equipment fully functioning and Lithium batteries fully charged. All systems ready to go. Negative Indicators: None at the current time Actions arising: Keep all systems in A1 shape. Next log due: 2100Z Starwars day, May 4th, 1918. …...log ends.

So,the grand reveal of Steaming Behind: Yes,using the Sehnsucht Automat we nipped backin time and had an archimedian screw drive tank fitted with a Boulton and Watt beam engine from his Soho Manufactury just off the Soho Loop. We taught him a few basic things about steam engine design and as a result we've managed to drastically decrease the size of the unit to small enough to sit within the vessel. The screw drive means there's no propeller to foul, so we're impervious to mattress attacks. As a thank you, Mr Boulton is currently making us a gift to sit as a bowsprit. As it's projected to get quite warm onboard with all that steam, we thought we'd make the best of it and set up a small tea plantation. Of course, the ability to warp time means we can have fresh leaf tea on tap, with water heated by the Windemere kettle. The other essential boating beverage is provided by the large fermentation vessel onboard. We fairly quickly realised that it was all a bit damp and hot and miserable to sleep onboard, and Toby the dog was getting bothered by the all-pervasive smell of malt, so we've decided to tow Free Spirit as a butty, which I can only assume gets us extra points. We intend to chug to our starting location tonight

Virtuous : We need to be "good for goodness sake." 42-hour Snickers Challenge : It's a modern version of the traditional 24-hour Marathon challenge. With extra peanuts. Crew Slog : The minions have to walk a long way to the next lock. Hello Birmingham! The boys (and the girls) are back in town! We don't need any celebratory bridges ... and we still don't understand why with all the heavy metal bridges available in the area the Black Sabbath Bridge is a brick one! As the Northern canals are still broken, TeamBiscuits aboard NB Good Times have decided to re-enter the BCN challenge, even if it all has to be done by email. (We have BCN'd before, and Zoom is the wrong answer!) TeamBiscuits as usual are: @TheBiscuits (me!) MrsBiscuits (not on the forum) BobBiscuits (not on the forum) Duck-N-Dive (not on the forum) We did invite the Iron Oxide Kid ( @rusty69 ) but he won't play. We think as he is so close to 70 he must be self insulting. We didn't really want him, but he would have been a great excuse for using this picture: Which sounds optimistic, but we are not scared. We are looking forward to seeing just how badly our opposition have misjudged us again ...

Team Firefly has been working hard on virtual enhancements to our virtual boat and we have been busy provisioning ready for the 2020 Virtual BCN Challenge. We were lucky enough to get a Tesco home delivery slot for today. But with the limit of 3 cases of beer and 3 boxes of wine simply not being enough, we have realised that we are better off doing a virtual shop where we can choose as much as we want for our virtual boat. The result is that we have had to resort to a virtual butty for the drinks store but the virtual engine has been masterfully enhanced to cope with the extra weight and we will be motoring along at the required 2.5 miles per hour. We will also be popping back in time to visit some hostelries while we are travelling virtually around the BCN, just from an historical interest point of view of course. We are now virtually on our way to pick up the crew and to get to our virtual start location, we would like to introduce the team

welling up here! I think we all have to remember that it is @RLWP and @Mrs Tawny Owl who we really need to thank for letting us play. Can I propose a toast to them please?

Log time: 16:00, Sunday 12th May 2019 Location: The Plough, Huddlesford We picked up William at Weedon Bec on Thursday evening and it’s been a long trip to get into position for the challenge, with over 12 hours of cruising each day for Friday and yesterday. The limit of 7 hours per day for the challenge will be a welcome relief! We reached our start point at Huddlesford Junction at lunch time and headed to 2019 so we could enjoy Sunday lunch at the Plough. We were surprised to find several other teams huddled around different tables in the pub, so were careful not to discuss details of our plans for the rest of the week while enjoying our food and beer. Full of tasty pub grub, we’re now back on board William for an afternoon of relaxing and board gaming - we brought Brass with us from Rebellion’s board game stash. Our GPS is on and transmitting!

The BCN Challenge is a very special thing. It’s a huge disappointment that the real thing isn’t happening but we have the opportunity to do something unique in its place.There are folk who literally spend months ahead planning and preparing just to compete, so we can only imagine what it takes to organise one. I can’t lie, I take it very seriously, although I doubt you’ve noticed. Just in preparing for this challenge I’ve learnt things I didn’t know about the BCN and when we can finally get back out on the real thing it will enhance the experience. It’s also great that new people are involved. Ultimately this is a great substitute for the real thing and I hope some more folk will join the next real event as a result. So good luck to everyone and a special thanks to those who organise the virtual and real Challenges. I’ve brought out the special stuff for a toast. Cheers.

I should have added that the fuel tank is full and the toilet tank is empty - so those are two jobs we won't need to do again this week. We did reassure the crew that the water tank was also full, but they remarked that they were "thirsty not dirty" and headed for the gin! I think I've baked enough goodies to fuel the crew with calories but I'm not entirely sure - the boat oven is not that efficient so pre-preparing really good food is a must!

The attitude of the crew is an all-important factor in the BCN Challenge - Harmony Greyhound is the only surviving member of 2018's triumphant team and is obviously ready to put int he effort to win again: I'm afraid Alex is simply not the right stuff... And it looks as if Saffy's already had her nose in Christine's rucksack!

Now they are testing 100000 a day only 5% are positive and most tests are for those with symptoms so your % is flawed. Some studies are saying only 2-3% Inthe total population have had it. There is no joined up thinking yet on the extent of the virus.

There might be a bumble bee trapped inside the set and as it warms up it becomes active, hence the 15 minute delay.

Sunday 3rd May – Introducing Team Indigo Dream In the real world, Indigo Dream is a 60’ narrowboat, currently languishing on the River Nene. She was launched in 2006 and this will be her sixth BCN Challenge. The first time she took part, in 2009, the crew was just playing, but then they got competitive! Indigo Dream came third three times (2011, 2014, 2017), before finally winning the BCN Challenge trophy in 2018 This year, we are cruising in Augmented Reality Indigo Dream (ARID), whose capacious interior is large enough for her five human and three canine crew members to cruise while maintaining socially acceptable separation. As well as the official time machine attachment, ARID is also fitted with a Geistersammler (Ghost Collector), which will enable us to communicate with the spirits of BCN Past. It’s a dreary and overcast morning, the darling buds of May lie limp after a weekend of thunderstorms and heavy rain. But Indigo Dream’s crew is perky and upstanding, getting ready for the challenges ahead. Let me introduce them... Emily and Harmony travelling down from Lancashire. They were an intergral part of Indigo Dream’s winning team in 2018. They are both seasoned boaters, though Harmony is more familiar with the waterways around her northern home. Simon, of nb Scholar Gypsy is busy getting ARID’s equipment sorted. Simon’s boat , Scholar Gypsy, is at Ely in the Fens. He’s been canal boating for nearly 50 years, first visiting Birmingham in a tiny yogurt pot in 1974 (when the Elsan was christened, at Cambrian Wharf). As a member of St Pancras Cruising Club, he enjoys cadging a lift on boats that are visiting the Thames tideway. His route to Lichfield will be a circuitous one, involving as many modes of transport as possible. This journey will be recorded on Scholar Gypsy’s blog, https://scholargypsy.org.uk/ Christine, of nb Ketura - currently locked down in Atherstone on the Coventry canal. She will be travelling to meet ARID either on foot or by her pink Brompton, which was the secret weapon she used whilst crewing on Indigo Dream during two previous BCN Challenges, coming 3rd twice! She’s been boating and living on board since 2004. An active member of St Pancras Cruising Club, and cadged a lift with Simon on Scholar Gypsy to cross the Wash as her boat, Ketura, was in the wrong place! Sue, Richard with greyhounds Alex and Saffy, of nb Indigo Dream. Sue has been appointed skipper and, as she believes in leadership from behind, is allowing the crew to go their own sweet way before she assails them with a clipboard and a checklist later. Indigo Dream is renowned for her hospitality, so Sue has been responsible for preparing food for all of the crew. Richard is planner-in-chief, as an engineer, he’s got great spatial awareness to navigate the 4 dimensions of this virtual challenge! Fun Facts: The cumulative age of the crew is around 280 years - we are older than the BCN! We have around 100 years of boating experience between us! ? We'll update on our preparations later when I've sorted out how to get images uploaded - we're planning to start at Huddlesford Junction and there will be gin!

Well, we’ve arrived at our starting point OK, travelling backwards of course; being stuck in reverse has already had all sorts of side-effects throughout the boat. For example, everything reads back-to-front when seen through the windows of the boat so we are apparently going to start the Challenge from NOTSA Junction. Somehow the Junction looks a bit weird, but at least the sigboards confirm that we are in the right place. And the signpost shows us which we need to go in the morning. As soon as we arrived Deb went back to bed, while Jessop the Dog now thinks he’s a God so he expects us to worship him and keep providing him with meals in a golden dog-bowl. We have also had to transfer all our food to the oven to keep cool, but at least our Sunday lunch is now happily cooking in the fridge. I have a suspicion that being stuck in reverse is going to present us with a whole load of interesting problems over the next few days – but never mind, we intend to complete this NCB 42-Hour Challenge, whatever it takes (thinks - I wonder if the National Coal Board will sponsor us?). I just hope it all goes better than the trip described in this little song that David Blagrove penned after one of his visits to the BCN!

Right time to take this seriously, I am packed and ready to go, obviously being an old hand at this I travel light only taking the absolute essentials. Boating hat, hi vis cause safety is important, one of those funny key things and of course a windlass As is now a tradition I supply a small stash of fine malt for the crew to enjoy but as travel light is my creed only the essentials. Just in case I have snuck in a bottle of gin for the ladies who we might meet along the way.

Team Urban Moorings We have assembled a particularly fine international team and we’ll be taking to the murky waters of the lesser known parts of the BCN in an historic boat. NB Tench, an FMC boat built in 1938. Tench,owned by the inimitable Alex Bennett, was central to ‘Recreating the Journey’, Alarum Theatre’s 2017 tour of ‘Idle Women of the Wartime Waterways’ following the route worked by the wartime trainees. During that tour Alex and Kate joked that they would do the BCN challenge in 2018 with Tench but sadly Alex died suddenly in February 2018, so we’ve adopted Tench as our boat for this year. Alex will be there, at the tiller, polishing the brass and downing several pints!We have Captain Sandra@GoldenBoyz at the tiller. After solo cruising 85% of the system, trading as The Doggie Boat, acquiring the reputation of being the crazy dog lady she had her boat shipped to Ireland & is now starting new adventures. And we thought we’d got rid of her...The rest of the crew are still arguing about who does what and what constitutes a junction. Except Ronni, who has claimed the tea urn for the duration.However, inside sources suggest Urban Moorings are fielding a crack team of strategists: Tom and his wife Kerstin are both German, they have lived in Ireland since 2002. They started hiring in 2007 and have cruised a substantial part of the network, including taking part in the 2013 BCN challenge. Summers now usually find them on the waterways of France in their Wilderness Beaver More on their blog here:https://nbargo.wordpress.com/2014/08/25/summer-in-brittany-day-1/ Ali and Lou who have lived and worked on the canals for 16 years. They run a business making and designing gift wares mostly out of wood. As well as artworks by Lou aka canal artist. They are part of the founding team of Urban Moorings, a CIC company developing moorings on a derelict piece of land on the BCN. Standing by to lockwheel are :Lesley who travelled much of the canal network with her late husband Ray, now moors at Ocker Hill and the only bit of the BCN she hasn’t cruised is up the locks to Titford, so she’s planning to crochet that before the end of the week. And Kate, who is mostly known for pretending to work locks, steer and do generally boaty things in the guise of various characters on stage. So doing it for real could be a nasty shock.Fortunately...Ronni, another key player in the Urban Moorings story,tireless worker for the Roving Canal Traders Association and purveyor of quirky clothing(as Witchcrafter),will be on hand with copious quantities of tea.

The last remaining economically independent members of the forum have joined together to form a team. We are of course “The Workers”. Joining me are: @Rob-M My trusty First Officer of past BCN Challenges where his main attribute is that he knows how to boat, a crew needs complimentary skills to their Captain. It also happens that his day job is in the virtual world so he gets the gig again. @tree monkey He’s neither a tree nor a monkey. Or is he, how can we tell in a virtual world? Another Challenge veteran and former winning crew member who comes recommended for his social contributions, which we are looking forward to imbibing after each short day’s cruising. @Dave_P A genuine BCN man. He’s got the inside knowledge. Resident at various places on the BCN over many years now, he’s acclimatised to the altitude and may even understand the locals. Rare skills indeed. We’ve all been hard at work saving the nation from economic meltdown so naturally haven’t had time to even look at the scoresheet. We’ll just make it up as we go along. Dave will know which way the BCN is. Probably. Without time to design our boat we’ve fed all the dimensions of the BCN into a computer programme and it’s currently working out the ideal boat to tackle the BCN. Hopefully it’ll provide us with a design before start time. And admit it folks; no-one knew there even were as many as four members of CWDF that aren’t yet retired. JP

Hot off the press guys (and gals) In the spirti of transparency and openness, team "Barnier's Stern Gland" has decided to make available to all other entrants, their confidential internal documentation including mission statement, metrics and capabilities. We will publish this each night to assist the 'weaker' teams and in the spirt of 'inclusivity'. The first of the nightly updates is now available in post 39 of the cruising log thread Whilst giving away our starting point and scoring metrics may be seen by other teams as silly, we are not a silly team and wish to be very open and above board with all our competitors - so when we win, we cannot be critisised in any way or form. May the best team win. (That's us)

Waiting for Team Red Wharf

I saw pictures the other day of footballers kicking a ball around in training that were apparently "incredible pictures". I find that if you mentally filter out the word "incredible" and replace it with a sort of breathless giggle the sentence usually makes more sense.

Don’t think this has been posted here before. Apparently it’s s trending but, given my children had to explain to me what a meme is, don’t take my word for it.

Travelling to our virtual start location on virtual Firefly from the centre of Birmingham where we met up with the crew (virtually of course). So we have a full team on board ready to set off down Farmers Bridge, and to get a little virtual locking practice ready for the next virtual gruelling days of the Virtual BCN Challenge. After all we're a bit out of practice! We were having a few calibration problems with the Automat Sehnsucht and suddenly Cambrian Wharf morphed back to the 1950s ... We were a bit worried about what that meant for our plan to moor overnight at virtual Star City. However fortunately a technical solution (kick) to the Automat Sehnsucht has us back on the virtual canals of 2020 ready to go into Farmers Bridge top lock. Looking forward to virtually passing all of our fellow competitors somewhere on the virtual BCN!! In true BCN Challenge tradition we have brought along a virtual inflatable giraffe on a stick that we will be passing along to other boats when we see them, so watch out for us!!

Ah, yes forgot the virus doesnt transmit at weekends..

No but that is entirely irrelevant given the NHS itself is not doing all the testing or all the admin to track the testing. It has been a pattern over the last few weeks that statistics lag a bit over a weekend including testing numbers and catch up during Monday and Tuesday the following week. But still, never leave a possible opportunity for a snide remark to pass us by huh?

Finally, I've arrived at the boat. I've spent the last 3 years with my relatives in the Antarctic; it wasn't going to be that long, I originally planned for just a 3 week stay there, but when it was time to fly home I discovered that even though I've got wings, being a penguin I can't fly. Luckily some of our friends came on a cruise to the Antarctic so I hopped on board and they hid in me in the fridge in their cabin until we got back to the UK. Anyway, I soon found Notsa Junction by holding my BCN map in front of a mirror, and waddled down the towpath to join the boat. At this point I was kidnapped by another team, an unfair tactic about which I have registered my complaint in the Stewards Enquiry thread. So now I'm back on board and ready to settle down for a quiet game of ODUL with Allan Keepingup this evening; that's a board game where you attempt to move counters from the centre of the board to the outside corners by throwing dice into a small cup.

You do know we have ground to air missiles on board?

Huddersfield Narrow yesterday near Stalybridge.

Guys, anyone interested in buying an advanced copy of the score sheet (to be issued tomorrow lunchtime) so you can plan your start better. Copies are available for a small fee via our mole on the inside. Nudge nudge. Wink wink!

I was going to wait until we arrived at our starting point tomorrow before posting this, but it looks as if we'll be struggling to make it there in time for that so I thought I'd introduce us now. There are just 3 of us in the team: myself Allan @Keeping Up assisted by Debbie @Pingu and Jessop the dog (who TBH isn't really much help at all). We are as usual on board our narrowboat Keeping Up, but all is not well here. All this week our gearbox has been causing all sorts of problems; finally this morning it got completely stuck in reverse and its effect is starting to spread to the whole boat as you may see from this photo (and hence our revised team name). It’s a rather unusual gearbox, type “051MRP”, and apparently it will be impossible to get the new parts in time for the challenge so we will have to spend the whole week travelling backwards. Steering is going to be difficult, mainly because we will have to rely on Debbie who is standing on the bows with a Pole (we don’t know much about him because he doesn’t speak any English; we just found him walking along the towpath, but he’s very helpful). One boatyard did suggest that we could steer by using our bowthruster, but we don't have one and anyway on a backwards boat that idea sucks! I'll post again when we reach our starting point tomorrow.

So, we've booked a little trip up the Llangollen Canal at the end of July. Do you reckon we'll be going? I certainly think we'll be eating and drinking on the boat and not in pubs....but will we even be allowed to travel!?!?!!?!?!

I Claudious, welcome to the Forum. Yes, there are mossers and other flying things, for £2 a pack, you can get great window and door net kits from home bargains and Aldi/Lidl and stay free. You can also buy one of these which is one of the most satisfying gifts I have ever received. https://www.ebay.co.uk/p/6034766869

You must have used the time machine to manage to locate that much flour!

I have update the post, but it just put the images at the end. I can't see how you make images go in the text. OK fixed that post at least...... Why is everyone reading this drivel is there nothing on TV tonight

Is there a little dark cloud that follows you around? The announced count on 30/04 was 126K (about 40K being home test kits sent out) and the following day about 106K total. If you count the same way day to day from there on it does not matter the means of counting. In any case it is just one more thing to get obsessed about now that PPE seems to have been forgotten. Dr Bob is correct of course, now that the testing is increasing and more of the general public rather than who is sick in hospital etc. the infection rate found is much lower. The fact that there are home test kits at all is a good thing no matter how they are counted in the testing total. This kind of kit will be a very important element in further/increasing testing and in the context of track & trace.

No, they are not. They counted 100,000 tests on 30 April (one day) and it appears that they included the testing kits they posted that day, having held onto a whole lot of them to get the headline numbes up. The last six words are superfluous. methinks.

Edited pic from Google streetview. The red boundary box shows the viewpoint I think the artist used, and outside the box are all the bits you seem concerned about. The only notable missing bit of the impression is the tailgate on the lock, but the original even includes the gate recess!

Schoolgirl error. On the Challenge you never disclose your starting point to other competitors. Maybe you are bluffing?

The entrance to Griff Arm, Ladybridge. Bridge now gone of course. The second picture is the Newdigate Arm, all that's left of it. ETA just rechecked my photos it is the entrance to Newdigate, now a winding hole.

He is a Monkey!!!! Gin for the ladies? You might need a bit more, I dare say the ones we’re going to meet will be able to drink us under the table. JP

Excellent thought ? It set me off researching this picture from 1971 and whether it was at the Griff Arm as I originally had it classified, or the Newdigate Arm, as the bridge and the Nice Mr Google now seems to suggest. And all before breakfast, too.

Do you want to borrow my time machine and see if we reach back to the entry deadline for you?

Dashed bad form cruising with your fenders down ...